journal entry #2022

It's sometimes scary when what my guts was telling me turns out to be right. Now we know why — and I honestly felt just numb about everything. I didn't even cry at all, even though it was really frustrating. I just kept sighing. Then again, even if I cry, I don't think I could provide any help at this point than assume. I have to keep doing that. But even with that, I don't think I could scold my own mother even if I want to because:

1. I don't have the money to even provide any help... yet; and
2. my three younger sisters had already done that.

I think my sisters were able to find a solution somehow. But yeah, I'm already expecting that the people in the house would treat her coldly or just ignore her until it all settle down. The only thing I can do right now is to lessen the tension a little bit by — maybe — acting as a go-between. Then again, I don't know. I'd actually prefer to not be included in the whole drama.

I just have runny nose and I'm definitely coughing. Not really happy about it, to be honest. Then again, who would be? I think I kind of expected this to happen because of what I did as soon as I would arrive home after going to town. And yes, it involved the electric fan. So yup, it was my fault I got this right now.

With the chaos that happened today, who would still be in their right mind and energy to even do anything at all? I don't really know what to make of everything right now. Confrontations here and there was already expected. Urgh! Let this be over soon.