journal entry #108

Yup, I know. I missed another day. I'm not going to explain anymore. One thing I can tell — it was a boring and possibly productive day for me. Boring for my real self. Productive for my writer self. I know. It was weird and confusing at the same time. Don't mind me. I'm just... like this from time to time.

So, yeah. Internet connection is back today — specifically right around late afternoon. It's about time, you know. A part of me was glad and a part wasn't. Yup, here comes my confusing self again. Sorry. But then again, I might as well let it stay that way and kot dwell too much on it anymore. It's bad for my mind if I let those thoughts linger any longer than they should be.

Again, I think my mind wandered too far off with all those imaginings I've been doing during those "no internet connection to distract me" days. This time, it was about imagining myself falling in love with a certain celebrity. Not a local one, but a Japanese celebrity. Specifically, a Japanese stage actor. Well, at least I've been aware that he was active in stage play performances. And yet, that's all there is to it. Just an imagination. Highly unlikely that it will even become a reality with the kind og life I have. Not to mention, my father doesn't seem to have any plans of fixing my birth certificate at all. And to think it's one of the most important requirements for having a passport.

I wonder if there is a way for me to LEGALLY go to Japan and actually explore at least for once in my life. Or maybe something will happen to actually let me meet — Okay, what the heck am I writing here now?

Anyway, I think this would end here. Even though I want to write down my wish of meeting HIM on my journal, I think it's quite embarrassing. Especially when I have this weird feeling that one day, HE might read this. It might be just a feeling, though. I don't know what to think right now.

For now, it's time to say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。