These Memories To Keep

"What in the world are we doing out here again? Kinaladkad mo na naman ako rito para sa wala, Mei?"

Pero isang buntong-hininga ang naging tugon ng kaibigang si Mei sa litanya ng tanong na iyon ni Stacy. Siyempre pa, inasahan na niya iyon kung ikokonsidera niya ang ugali nito na laging gustong laging nasusunod ang mga trip nito sa buhay. Lalo na kapag may naisipan itong gawin.

"Stacy, ginagawa ko ito para sa iyo, okay? Aba, wala ka nang ibang ginawa sa apartment mo kundi magkulong, ah. Mula nang bumalik ka sa kabihasnan 3 months ago, nag-iba ka na."

"Ano'ng gusto mong gawin ko? Magsaya na may isang nilalang somewhere out there na talagang nagpahalaga sa akin for once in my life na nag-aagaw-buhay ngayon dahil sa akin? Mei, hindi pa ako ganoon ka-heartless. Kung sa ex-boyfriend ko siguro nangyari iyon, baka nga talagang ikatutuwa ko pa, eh."

Nagi (Ninninger)/Amu (Zyuohger): My Heart's Way

Both of them had written so many letters for each other already since they first met on an online site. It wasn't something she'd normally do, to be honest. But she found it interesting, especially when she got to talk to him via chat and — as you guessed it — letters.

Handwritten letters. They both found it exciting to do it that way instead of the modernized and technological version of it. Regardless of the response time, the long wait would always feel worth it for both of them.

They would reply eagerly whenever one would arrive. And yes, they would both do it by hand.

Sousuke/Saki (Go-onger): Irreplaceable Memory

From among those innocent days which are so irreplaceable, one memory floods out... — Kimi No Zutto, YuYu

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"You're pouting again."

"And you got a problem with that?" Okay. Maybe it was a bad idea for Saki to answer like that as she was sulking.

Then again, she couldn't help it. That jerk didn't come to their appointed date — again. How many times has this happened already?

Yes, she knew that Sousuke remained busy with his car racing career ever since their duties as Go-ongers began dwindling a little. But at least that guy should consider other priorities at hand.

One was supposed to be about making sure his girlfriend — a.k.a Ryouyama Saki — was taken care of.

However, at the moment, Saki didn't feel that way. And it was annoying her.

To Have Your Heart Again (KR Drive: Chase/Ninninger: Kasumi)

Whether anyone would admit it or not, seeing someone from your past could be scary. In this case, two people were still trying to figure out where everything had gone wrong a long time ago for them to be separated like that.

For Kasumi to meet Chase again after four years since their separation, she didn't really know what to expect. And yet, here she was. Smiling at him like she was only meeting an old friend whom she hadn't seen in so long.

"I never thought I'd see you in a place like this," Chase said, initiating the conversation.

Because Of You (KR Build: Sento/Kyuranger: Hammie)

Because of you, my world feels different to me... — You Are, GOT7

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Normally, there was no reason for Sento to feel attached to anyone as exuberant as this young woman in front of him. He was a scientist, after all. A brilliant one, at that. He would usually have no time dealing with something so trivial as entertaining a young woman in high spirits and currently enjoying her well-earned vacation.

For him, that was the normal life he knew and was aware of. But things could change in an instant. In a heartbeat. In a blink of an eye. At least, that was what he realized when he once saved her from near death because of an unidentified monster attack.

Sento had no idea about the circumstances leading to that attack. But even with the chaos and also the headache that the case had brought to him, he couldn't deny the fact that he was glad about one thing.

Nagi/Fuuka (Ninninger): The Brightest Star

Counting the days had never been so fun, especially when one was waiting for something important or possibly life-changing, at some point. But for Nagi, he was finding it to be hard to do. At least, he knew he had to count in order for him to realize how many days he had to endure waiting before that certain day would finally arrive.

It was a crazy thing to endure, if he was going to be honest. Then again, he just had to do that, no matter how hard.

One more week…

Koh (Ryusoulger)/Umika (LuPat): Though We Took A Long Way

When we met, everything was awkward. And though we took the long way, we made it, didn’t we? — Dearest, Hamasaki Ayumi

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“Oh, come on! He’s late again?”

Umika would’ve kept puffing her cheeks in annoyance. But of course, she knew that the one she was supposed to meet that day made a last minute call mentioning about being late due to an emergency errand. She didn’t intend to cancel her appointment that day as she’d been anticipating this for days, if she was going to be honest.

But for her to wait for 30 minutes already? Just what kind of errand did that guy end up doing for her to wait that long for him to arrive, anyway?

In My Heart (KR Build: Banjou/Kyuranger: Hammie)

The farewell letter he left behind explained everything she never wanted to know.

But even with that, Hammie couldn’t understand why she still kept that letter. It broke her heart over and over every time she would read it. And yet her heart would still linger even to that pain just to tell herself that everything that had happened between her and that man was real.

In their case, however, it was an event in her life that never stayed real for long. Perhaps both of them didn’t do anything to solidify that once formed between them.

Once again, she sighed ever so raggedly. Damn it… Her tears were about to fall again. How many times does this have to happen, anyway? When would she learn to let it all go?

Koh/Asuna (Ryusoulger): I'm By Your Side

I can smile because I am by your side. I pray again that you will be my person… — All With You, Taeyeon (SNSD)

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It was already an everyday thing for Koh to watch Asuna eat her fill of snacks — usual ones and even new ones — especially when things around them were peaceful and no enemies would dare disrupt their usual days. On that particular day, however, there was something strange about the way he would observe his childhood friend doing the usual thing.

He shook his head and turned around for the meantime, not noticing that Asuna soon turned his way, thus stopping her from eating her snacks.

“Are you okay, Asuna?”

Reiyouki Sentai Seitenger 5 - Still Photos

The Vessels woke up early that one morning. But as soon as they reached the garden, they soon noticed that Hideoki was busy tending the garden.

"Okay. When was the last time I saw Hideoki-san did this?" Itsuki couldn't help asking that soon broke the silence among the group which consisted of him, Shuichi, Misae, and his sister Erika.

"Last year, I guess. Though I'm not sure," Misae answered and proceeded to think about it.

"Well, we're all unsure about that. Besides, Hideoki-san rarely tended the garden. He's usually in his room reading some papers or more often, in the restaurant's kitchen thinking of new dishes to add to the menu." This time, it was Shuichi who said that.

Lucky (Kyuranger)/Fuuka (Ninninger): No Matter What

No matter what happens to us now, I'll never turn my back on you or to the memories we made together... ~ Florence Joyce

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Returning to the alternate Earth was arguably an ardurous journey for Lucky. Wormholes don't usually work the way people -- humans and non-humans alike -- would have wanted to. There were slim chances of ever going or even arriving to the intended location.

But as he had always done, he took on those chances. No matter how small, he knew he had to take it. He had to go bck there. He made a promise to someone important, after all. All this time since he and the others returned to their home universe, he had never forgotten that promise.

Life Updates Since My Last Post

Hi, guys! Welcome back to my blog!

It’s a mess… My weeks recently have been such a mess that it actually ruined my concentration in writing more often than I intended to. I know I haven’t posted here for many days and to be honest, I have no proper excuse for that. It’s either I was lazy, I forgot or I couldn’t force myself to write anything at all.

Lame excuses to some. But I’ve been having a writing rut during those days (maybe even weeks that I haven’t updated. The more I force myself, the words that would come out would feel like crap to me.

Many people would say that it’s okay, that things would get better. And honestly, I believe that. But at the back of my mind, everything feels like crap. It only gave me more dissatisfaction. After that, it would frustrate the heck out of me. It’s crazy!

In any case, let’s go back to the topic of life update:

Where To Start

Hi, guys! I'm Florence and welcome back to my page.

(Still in the feeling of imagining what it's actually like to greet people in front of the camera, even when I'm camera-shy IRL.)

This is a strange introduction for a blog post, I know. And I also know that I haven't posted in two scheduled dates, only because I have no idea what to post at the time. Things had been stressful for me during those days and I don't want to put pressure on myself when writing something for this page. So I decided not to post anything in those two days.

Honestly, I have no idea what to post here even as I'm writing this. Okay, maybe that was a bit of a lie. I have lots of things and ideas to talk about here. Things that I've been wanting to discuss with someone. Things that bothered me a lot that I wanted to bring out and maybe it would lead to something.

Am I just imagining things here? Am I just overthinking and hopelessly wishing that someone would understand them? That there would be strangers who would understand them? Can I be a 'relatable' person that people would listen to, read about, or watch to at some point?

Journaling Gap: 2009 and 2010

Hi, guys! Welcome back to my page.

I know I didn't provide an update last Monday. But that's because I'm still trying to navigate what to write about and what to post on that day. Even when I said that I would make my Sundays #SundayStories and thoughts-related entries on #ThursdayThoughts, like this one.

Sunday Stories (originally planned to be posted on Mondays) will be a segment about the stories I wrote, currently writing, and will write sometime soon or in the future. So yes, I'd also be posting stories here that I never posted in any writing platforms I signed up to.

I'm still in the middle of debating if I want to actually keep up with doing that.

Anyways...

What is this "journaling gap"?

What happened within the decade of my journaling gap?

Yes, it's a weird intro. I couldn't think of a simpler one at the moment. Or maybe I should call this entry "My Journaling Gap" instead to make it more ambiguous. And possibly even make it sound... mysterious? Okay, that's a weird way to put it.

For those who are new to this page, welcome. Hi, my name is Florence Joyce. That's my full given name, in case you're curious. Or maybe not. You may probably find it strange that I wrote my entry this way as if I'm talking to a bunch of strangers outside. Or it could even look like as if I was talking in front of a camera. You know, like in a vlog. Though I like the idea a lot, I was never the person who liked doing either of them. An INFP-T here, by the way. The letter "I" gives you the idea of what is my personality already.

Souji (Kyoryuger)/Fuuka (Ninninger): Always Be Here

Even when everything seems hopeless for both of us, never forget that I'll always be there when you need me... ~ Florence Joyce

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Things had settled in -- at least for a little. But Fuuka was aware that the danger of that monster that attacked her and the other Super Sentai members was still there. They knew they had to do something to put a stop to it once and for all. However, there had been some problems.

Nishiori Sakura, a member of the Boukenger as Bouken Pink, informed her and Souji that it wasn't just one monster who made it an agenda to take down Super Sentai members. It turned out that there were five of them. By far, they've encountered two of them.

At the moment, Fuuka was outside the room inside the Yuuzuki mansion where she was staying at in the meantime as she was trying to recover. Her injuries didn't hurt that much anymore, but Souji suggested that she should continue resting just to make sure her injuries would heal properly. Not that she should do more to actually help anyone in her situation at the moment.

While Waiting For The Fireworks (KR Zero One: Aruto/Ryusoulger: Asuna)

The fireworks display was supposed to happen on that day. Asuna had been waiting for it for days. Well, she had reasons. Unfortunately, those reasons remained unsaid even as her friends kept pressuring her to blurt it out.

She sighed and looked at the sky. The colors were vibrant and the air smelled sweet with a few hints of burning wood and oil. As always, the atmosphere was filled with an excitement. There seemed to be no end to it -- nothing that couldn't be achieved through fire.

But the sigh she released actually meant something different. One that concealed the longing she felt ever since leaving the place that changed her life before. It was a secret that she never ever mentioned to her friends, and it was something she could never tell.

Towa (Ryusoulger)/Hammie (Kyuranger): Back To That Day

I really want to go back to that day. I really want to meet you once again... ~ From the Japanese song "Yozora (Night Sky)" by miwa ft. Hazzie

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When one would look up to the sky, a lot of things would often run in their minds. They could be good things, happy things, sometimes bad things, sad things... Not many people would easily put a stop to those thoughts, especially if they lingered in their minds long enough that it carved itself a place there to live into.

But for Towa, the sky held the memories of the girl he didn't even expect to meet in one of his travels. Then again, it was unlike him to meet a lot of them anywhere as he was dedicated to his duties as a Ryusoulger. As a Knight.

But the world sure held a lot of surprises that even he couldn't fathom despite living so long. A lot of them had given him happy memories to remember, even with that girl was nowhere to be seen now.

Dear Future Me

I know I wrote something about this the last time. Not sure what year. Pero... sana kapag nabasa mo 'to, regardless of the amount of time that passed since I wrote this, marami ka nang na-achieve. May mga nakasama ka nang mga kaibigan na talaga namang tumulong at tumutulong sa 'yo na maayos ang buhay mo, gaya ng madalas mong sabihin sa sarili mo.

Grabe... May boyfriend ka na kaya kapag nabasa mo 'to? O 'di kaya maayos na trabaho? Iyong may steady income para magawa mong bilhin ang mga gusto mo. Iyon kasi ang isang dahilan kung bakit wala pa rin akong nagagawang matino para sa sarili ko. Sana kapag nabasa mo ito some time in the future, may nabago na kahit papaano sa buhay mo.

Sana... makilala mo na yung taong handa kang makasama at mahalin kahit na anong mangyari. Yung kaya kang suportahan sa mga pangarap mo. Sa kagustuhan mong maging writer at sikat na author. Oo, madalas kong sabihin noon sa sarili ko na sakit lang sa ulo ang pag-ibig at magkaka-boyfriend lang ako kapag nagawa ko nang ayusin ang buhay ko. Pero sana... mawala na yung mindset na iyon one day. Naniniwala pa rin naman ako sa right love na darating. I hope ganoon ka rin.

Wishing you a good life ahead,

31-year-old Florence Joyce

Sousuke/Saki AU (Go-onger): To Begin Again

It was hard to stay with someone whom she knew would be gone in her life forever. Or at least, that was the feeling that Saki kept on having over the past weeks since she last went to that library and cried.

She didn't intend to cry there. But it was strange that she couldn't help herself. All she wanted was to release... something burdening in her chest. The same feeling that had haunted her for three years.

But now that she finally knew what it was, she felt a bit foolish for letting it continue.

So I'm 31... And Had Just Reached Another Journaling Milestone

Hi, everyone. Welcome to my blog.

Okay, this turned out to be weird with that introduction. Why am I writing this as if I'm imagining myself saying this in a video or something. Or maybe that's just me.

In any case, as you can see by the picture I included here, it is my 900th day of daily journaling! And yes, this post was 3 days late, basing it on the date I placed on the picture. But it's better late than never, right? So here I am.

So I'm 31... And This Is The Real Me

When someone posts to their social media accounts, we all want it to be perfect. To show the best part of ourselves that we want to show to the world. To stand out for just a little bit more than the rest of us. So we make our posts.

We post our stories about how happy we are in every picture we send on the internet. We even take photos and put them up with hashtags and tags and everything else that makes us famous for who we are. Okay, maybe the word 'recognized' would be the most appropriate word for that.

Anyway, we show them that part of ourselves to the point that... we end up lying to ourselves that this should just be the 'us' that people know. That's when the lies come. The lies start spreading like wildfire through social media until they become something that people don't care about as much as they once thought. And because there aren't any people who really know us at first, there aren't very many people who are interested in our story at all. 

Nagi/Fuuka (Ninninger): When I Have You

"Remind me why I'm doing this again?" Fuuka asked while she and Nagi were heading to the river in the midst of the hot weather of that summer. But honestly, she could just groan at how insane the idea of accompanying him on this weird little trip around town was.

Not to mention--

"Because you love me."

She seriously had a strong urge to roll her eyes and punch this guy right here and there. "Ah, right." This had got to be a joke.

Then again, it wasn't as if Fuuka was forced to do this. It seemed that... Nagi knew she wasn't feeling well that day that he had to go out his way to pull her out of the room and let her enjoy the fresh air for once.

Lucky/Hammie (Kyuranger): Hoping You'd Allow Me

Hoping you would allow me to love you. I'm still be waiting and hoping... ~From the Filipino song "Bakit Ba Ikaw? (How Come It's You?)" by Michael Pangilinan

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If Hammie could just take a step back and perhaps start things all over again between them, she would've done that already. But for her, she knew that it was too late. It was crazy that none of the people around her had ever thought that she was hurting it.

Or was it because she was good at hiding it? Was she that good of keeping everything in her that... she was able to bear the pain even through all that chaos that had happened in her life lately?

Maybe. But perhaps Hammie was just talented at pushing everything away when needed, especially if it was about her own pain. Then again, it was a crazy thing for her to do, even if it was meant to stop the people she cared about from worrying too much for her sake.

So I'm 31... and I'm giving an update after a long while

It's a weird title, I know. But I've been planning to create a series of blog posts here with the starting title "So I'm 31..." somehow.

Happy New Year, everyone! How is it going? I hope you greeted the new year with big hope and lovely smiles. Well, we still don't know what the year holds for us. But even so, this is the time that we can do something to make a change to ourselves.

At least, that's what I did even before the year started. To be specific, I made a goal around the second week of December. That's why I couldn't post anything here.

That's one of the reasons, at least. The other reason is that I couldn't think of a good content to post here. It might be a lame excuse, but my mind is definitely somewhere else and I focused more on setting up my goal for this year and other things.

Let's break it down, shall we?

Naga/Hammie (Kyuranger): That's Why I Waited

It was crazy for Hammie to feel something as strange as heart beating fast because of someone once again. She thought she was over it. As it turned out, that wasn't the case at all.

Just as the case that she encountered at the moment upon putting her wish paper on the sacred tree in the central town. It was summer and she had only arrived in her hometown a few weeks ago. So she was aware of the summer tradition of that town -- and it was one that she loved. Before she lost a lot of things in her life.

Hammie left that town a long time ago, but only chose to return there when a dream that she knew wasn't an ordinary one had plagued her for quite some time. She hadn't come back here for more than a year already, but now it seemed like this dream would not go away. Not without her doing something about it.