Dear Future Husband,

I know it's been a while since I wrote a letter to you like this here. I mean, I don't even know if you're reading this or not. But at the moment, I really don't care. I just want to let it out of me before I end up overthinking again. And from what I can remember, overthinking would only make me worry so much over things that I should never pay attention to. If that's cold of me to say (or in this case, write), then please forgive me. Like I said, I just need to let it out.

I hope you're not angry at me for doing that. Though I can't promise that this won't be the last, I will do my best to keep it to the minimum. If not, rare.

Sorry about that. My mind is a little messed up at the moment. I guess you could also say that I'm worried. Am I crazy? I know I can meet you in one way or another. I'm sure in my heart at some point that nothing will get in the way of us meeting and loving. But what am I worried about, to be honest? My heart has been pounding really strange for a while now and I don't know why. Would I meet you soon? Would I know it's you?

I don't know where this idea came from. But I can really feel that you're not from the country where I come from. Not from the place where I was born and raised. This strong feeling remains until now ever since I first thought about it back in high school. By the way, that's nearly two decades ago. I think I first thought about it back in third year high school. Why did I think of it that way, though? Was that something strange to think about?

I might be asking for something hard right now. But I hope you're a man who would never judge people just because of their race. I hope you're someone who wouldn't be easily swayed by the ways of the society and their way of thinking. You do know how sometimes their thoughts and rules were twisted. As I'd usually say it, society sucks. But that doesn't mean I should always stick to their rules.

I don't know how love would defy some of those twisted thinking and rules. But I think one of the ways we can deal with this was to remain true to each other. Remain true to what we believe in that doesn't involve hurting or defiling people. Remain true to our dreams of becoming the people we can be proud of.

I got dramatic again, huh? I'm sorry. But that's how my thoughts would usually go. I only release them while writing, so don't worry about me doing the same thing in person while we're talking. I'm not like that. 

Maybe when I become comfortable to tell you these things, I hope it wouldn't be too much for you to listen to. I know when to stop doing that, so don't worry. Of course, I also want you to be comfortable telling things to me. Things that you wouldn't sometimes mention to anyone else. I want us to be comfortable to each other that telling our thoughts and letting each other know how we feel would actually feel like home for both of us.

I love you and I love it when we actually feel like we're each other's home at the end of the tiring day. For now, I'll end this letter here. I do hope that next time, I would tell you some great things about my life. You can do that by reading my journal entries I'm placing in this blog. They are from my actual journal, after all, unless stated otherwise. Okay? So know that they are my actual daily happenings, even when most of them were mundane and boring.

Love you lots. Till the next letter I'd write for you. ❤️😊💕

Still waiting for you to finally come to my life,

Florence Joyce

Dear Future Husband,

Hi! How are you? I hope you're doing well and living your life when you read this. Or if not, I still hope that you're okay and that you're on your way to make sure you stay that way for a long time. We don't want to be a burden to each other whenever we deal with something in our lives, right? Or at least... that's how I feel at the moment.

I can't recall the last time I wrote to you like this, if I'm being honest. I don't even remember why I stopped writing letters like this to you at some point. But does that matter? Maybe in some aspect, it does — at least for me. This is me writing to you — hoping that any of the letters I wrote to you would reach you in one way or another.

I can't say I miss you, as I've never even met you or held you or talked to you. But I know I long to be with you. In my mind, I could see us holding us and smiling at each other — with no prejudice and pretenses. Just pure unadulterated happiness that blossomed between us. In my mind, whenever I would write about my day in my journal, I can't keep myself from smiling as I write about you and me.

I want to write about you and me — about us together — as each day passes by. I've been itching to do that now that the 6th month of the year has started. Two more months and it'll be August — my birth month. I'll be turning 34 by then. For some, it was way past the marrying age. But given how my life is at the moment, as much as I want to say I don't give a damn care, I still can't help feeling as if something is missing in me. I know that a part of me realizes that it's you.

Even the young me who dreamed of such romantic love to exists in my life wanted that to happen. For now, maybe writing letters this way would ease that longing. Maybe it would never do that at all. But I'm still here waiting for that day that we can finally be together to come true. I don't know how it will happen. I think I shouldn't worry about that for now, right? I'm trusting the process. I think that's for the best.

Who knows how our story will unfold soon? In the meantime, let me meet you in my dreams, or even in my imagination, until a miracle finally bridges the gap between what is still fantasy for me and reality that would happen for the two of us to be together at last in some way.

Until then, stay healthy and be happy, okay?

Just here waiting,

Florence Joyce

 

【open letter】Dear Future Me

I know I wrote something about this the last time. Not sure what year. Pero... sana kapag nabasa mo 'to, regardless of the amount of time that passed since I wrote this, marami ka nang na-achieve. May mga nakasama ka nang mga kaibigan na talaga namang tumulong at tumutulong sa 'yo na maayos ang buhay mo, gaya ng madalas mong sabihin sa sarili mo.

Grabe... May boyfriend ka na kaya kapag nabasa mo 'to? O 'di kaya maayos na trabaho? Iyong may steady income para magawa mong bilhin ang mga gusto mo. Iyon kasi ang isang dahilan kung bakit wala pa rin akong nagagawang matino para sa sarili ko. Sana kapag nabasa mo ito some time in the future, may nabago na kahit papaano sa buhay mo.

Sana... makilala mo na yung taong handa kang makasama at mahalin kahit na anong mangyari. Yung kaya kang suportahan sa mga pangarap mo. Sa kagustuhan mong maging writer at sikat na author. Oo, madalas kong sabihin noon sa sarili ko na sakit lang sa ulo ang pag-ibig at magkaka-boyfriend lang ako kapag nagawa ko nang ayusin ang buhay ko. Pero sana... mawala na yung mindset na iyon one day. Naniniwala pa rin naman ako sa right love na darating. I hope ganoon ka rin.

Wishing you a good life ahead,

31-year-old Florence Joyce

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

29 turning 30 years... That's how long it's been, huh? That's how long you've been such an amazing mother to me. I know I can be really annoying, irritating, frustrating, hardheaded (at least sometimes). Not that I'm proud of that. But it seems that I grew up learning things on my own most of the time. At some point, I know I let my pride rule over me to not ask for your guidance or help unless I deem it necessary. It's a really weird mindset of mine that, until now, I can't seem to remove.

And yet, even with that, I still want to thank you.

Thank you for still listening to my selfish wishes. Thank you for being there for me, regardless of the fact that I rarely come to you to ask for anything. Thank you for a lot of advice that, most of the time, I tend not to listen to them. I don't who or what to blame for that part, though. Even still, thank you for so many things I learned from you.

I'm sorry... for being a hard person to deal with sometimes. I'm sorry for being a stubborn woman who can't seem to make a firm decision since the time I noticed how my life is falling apart in front of me, even with your presence. I'm sorry for being a continuous disappointment because of my decisions. I'm trying . I'm doing what I can. But several negative thoughts that had haunted me for so many years would always do its best to cripple me. I was never proud of myself. And yet here you are, still saying that you are to me.

I don't know what will happen in the next years. But let's have faith. At least, I'd like to have one for myself that something will change this year. You've always have one for me and I'll always be thankful for that.

I love you, and thank you. I'm always thanking the heavens that you're my mother all those years.

Happy Mother's Day!

Open/read when: You're missing me a lot

Dear Sunrise,

This could be a maybe, though. I mean, we still haven't met until now. But I'm pretty sure, the yearning is there. It's strong and definitely getting stronger as time passes by that we still haven't crossed paths. It could really drive us crazy, don't you think? I miss you even without knowing you yet. And you're the same, regardless of the life that you have now and the presence of the people surrounding you.

It's too much to bear, but please don't despair. As we know, it's part of a test. A part of endurance and patience until the day that we'd finally meet will come. You miss me, but it won't be long. Or at least, let's do our best to make it seem that it won't be long now. We'll get to smile at each other one day and laugh without a care in the world. Let's believe in the works of the heavens that it's not going to take us that long to wait and miss each other's presence that we both longed to feel all this time.

Let's smile at the world, even if the yearning is too strong for us to bear. Let's have faith, even if the circumstances are enough to make us lose hope. Let's love each other, even if we still don't know each other at the moment and we could still be far away from each other.

I miss you and you could also be missing me. But one day, we'll be together finally.

Missing you a lot,
Florence Joyce

Love was made of joy

Dear Sunrise,

It's a lovely day to feel loved, don't you think? And I think it should be that way, considering that even though we're far from each other at the moment, I can still feel you here with me. Right here in my heart. I may be alone at the moment, and at times I do feel alone even with the presence of my family beside me. But I have faith. At least, I feel that I should have faith.

Faith that we'll be seeing each other -- finally...

Faith that we'll love each other better than how we were imagining it in our heads...

Faith that we'll get through all this low self-esteem and lack of confidence moments that we could be going through...

Faith that this love we believe has always been meant for us to share and live through will bring us insurmountable joy one day...

Yes, let's both have faith that it will happen. It is going to happen. It is happening. The love we both dreamed of to become reality will come knocking in front of us before we can even realize it. And that joy brought about by the love we feel for each other will sweep over us and embrace us warmly like no other feeling have ever done to us.

Just have faith, my love...

Still believing,
Florence Joyce

A letter to someone you barely knew who has impacted you in some way.

To the Tarot Readers I subscribed on Youtube,

There are quite a few of you on my Youtube subscription list. But even so, I am so glad I did. For a long while now, I've been asking for something that will become a way for me to open my eyes to a lot of things. To be specific, to something I want to do in life. Wait, let me rephrase that. You guys became a way for me to learn about what I'm destined to do in life. If I'm going to be honest, I still have a long way to go in that department. I still have a lot to realize and to learn so I could discover the truth. I still have an ongoing battle in my mind for me to actually know what my soul is truly calling me for to do. I'm already 29, and clueless as heck. But thanks to you, guys (or girls since all of those I subscribed were females), I'm slowly getting there. I just have to win this big battle so I can finally pursue what I was intended to be and to do all this time.

So thank you. 😄

Your subscriber,

Florence Joyce

Open/read when: When we haven't talked in a while.

Dear Sunrise,

We surely didn't talk for a while. And I mean a long while. In my dreams, I'm pretty sure we did. But it's possible that I couldn't recall them at all. I could have dreams in which I talked to you a lot of times. But recalling them have been the hardest task of all.

I don't want to feel disappointed. I don't like feeling in despair. But at some point, I couldn't help it. I do want to talk to you. I do love to be with you and laugh and enjoy each other's company -- just as we've always wanted to feel when you and I will finally cross paths and meet.

Right now, I couldn't do anything. At the moment, all I can do is to earnestly believe that a magic can happen. Let this letter reach you one day when you have no one to talk to. Let this letter make you realize the truth that you seek. Let this letter form a thread that will connect us together even if we're apart at the moment. Allow this letter to let your heart feel the words of love and admiration that I'm sure can help you go through whatever challenges you're facing right now.

Let this letter reach you and one day, we'll reach each other and talk about each other nonstop -- finally cherishing the feeling of being together at last after all that.

With love,
Florence Joyce

Shoot For The Stars

To my Sunrise,

Okay. So maybe writing this letter to you who I haven't met yet can be considered as shooting for the stars. And yet I'm still doing it ー all because I've been waiting for you to enter my life in such a long time. I kept on telling other people that I don't need to fall in love or to commit if I knew that I'd end up getting hurt in the end. Getting rejected, getting friend-zoned, and seeing other people's relationships fall apart right in front of me... These things had made my heart build up a wall to stop myself from feeling so bad about myself because no one would want to love me as the person that I am.

It's a scary feeling to encounter again, and so I made a resolution. I know in my heart that living my life with this lingering negative feeling won't do me any good. I know I'm not meant to live like this for long. At least, that's what I'm choosing to believe. I'm doing the best I can to change the course of my life at the moment. As I'm writing here, I'm sensing that I can only meet you and cross paths with you if I choose to finally let go of what's been holding me back from truly loving all this time.

At the moment, it's a slow process. At one point, I couldn't help feeling frustrated. Even with that, I'm doing what I can to fight that negative feeling. To be the best version of myself before meeting you without actually giving up ー this is shooting for the stars for me. At the end of it all, I only intend to shoot for the stars I'd like to call my destined love.

Until then, let's both do our best so we can finally meet one day.

The one who's continuously waiting,

Florence Joyce

The best thing that ever happened to me is you.

To my (future) Sunrise,

One thing I can tell after all that has happened in my life ー you are the miracle that I asked for from the heavens. The best gift that I've ever received in my life. As exaggerated as it might sound right now, what I'm writing here at the moment is the truth.

You will surely be my life's game changer.

Yes, I'm aware that I haven't met you yet. Right now, you are probably living your life the way you wanted it to a long time ago. Even though I don't know anything about it, I'll continue believing that our separate paths will meet one day. Whatever life that you have now, I'm praying that it's going to provide a way for us to meet and be close to one another.

We both have no knowing if our meeting will lead to a love so beautiful, as if we've dreamed it to life. But I do know one thing. You coming into my life and giving you the love I never thought I'd give to anyone will put me in a pedestal I could only dream of reaching. Your love ー so true and unconditional ー will become one of my greatest inspirations as I continue reaching towards the dreams I only gazed at from afar.

I know and I'm sure I'd love the support we both give to each other towards the things that make us happy ー individually and together as best friends and lovers we're going to become. One day, loving each other will not be a distant dream anymore.

I'm still waiting, and I'm doing so patiently. I'm waiting for the day where I can proudly tell to the world how much I love you and how you've become the greatest and the best thing that will ever happen to me. On that day, I'm sure I've also loved myself even more and I'm willing to show to the world the best version of me that I've strive to become so that I can feel that I'm deserving for the true and unconditional love I'm receiving from you.

Till that day, let's do our best and let's pray for each other to fulfill our dreams and meet with pride and joy to our destiny of loving one another.

Always waiting,

Florence Joyce

Write a letter to the friendliest person you knew for only one day.

I don't know if I could write a letter with regards to this person, though. But that's only because I can't recall meeting anyone for one day and actually befriended. For real. So... for this prompt, I thin I'm going to be writing this in a future sense. I don't go out that much, anyway.

Let's go!

To that friendliest person I'm going to meet,

It can only be for one day, and it will not be enough, I'm quite sure of that. And yet I have this feeling that it's going to be okay. That the day is enough because it turns out to be something amazing for a quite dreary day. I love it if it can change my day in so many ways, or maybe make me feel better and enlighten me a lot. For now, I'm quite unsure of how it's happening. Yet reality can surely works it way to create miracles. And yes, I am considering meeting you as one amazing miracle in this life.

Thank you.

The stranger whose day changes because of your friendliness,

Florence Joyce 😄❤

A letter to the leader of your country.

To His Excellency, The President of the Philippines;

Forgive me for making this short, Sir. But I just want to tell you that you are doing a good job in leading our country. Regardless of the negative feedbacks other people keep on giving you, including my own that I do not dare speak anywhere, I am amazed by all that you have done for this country. Please remain humble and keep having strong faith in what you believe in, regardless of your beliefs and as long as it won't degrade our country. I admire your strict way of implementing rules even though so many still complains ー like people who haven't done a lot to save our country from its corrupt nature.

Thank you for stepping forward to lead the Philippines and the Filipino people until now.

Florence Joyce

Dear Past Me...

Dear Past Me,

Forgive me for writing here at the start that I want to say sorry to you if this would make you scared or emotional in some ways. I want to say sorry for disappointing you in so many ways. Forgive me... for not being the confident person you once wished to become when you reach this age. A lot of things had happened, and a lot of them had either broken my heart, disappointed me, or shattered my confidence over all. Because of that, I've missed a lot of opportunities in life. I've garnered a lot of regrets in life that even you would feel ashamed that you are about to go through all that. So forgive me for being such a huge disappointment to your hopeful young self.

One thing I can tell you to change it all ー be more aggressive in pursuing what you want to do in life. Yes, even more aggressive than your younger sisters. Be yourself, but don't forget to do a little glow-up methodology and techniques so that it's not only your brains that people would notice about you. Have your own beauty routine so that you won't fall behind your sisters. Maybe ー just maybe ー it can help you get the attention of whoever guy (cute or smart or handsome) captures your young heart.

I know that these are weird advices coming from your older self, but I'm doing this for your sake. I'm doing this so that you could have at least a chance to do your best your life the way you deemed fit for your age and mindset. I love you so much, that's why I'm writing you this. Do this, so you won't have anything to regret once you reach my age. Be yourself, and it's not going to be a hard thing for you to love yourself more.

I love you, and I hope you take the advice I wrote here.

From your 28-year-old self

A letter to your body.

To my still striving body,

First of all, forgive me for letting you endure a lot because of all that I'm doing. I know we both had to deal with muscle strain and muscle pain due to all the lifting we had to do. But in all that, I am still glad that I could rely on you most of the time. I'm pretty much aware that you need a long rest and here I am again, apologizing for not being able to let you do so.

I'm proud of you, though, for being able to handle a lot, for being able to stay strong enough not just for me but also for those who needs that strength. Over the next years, let's stay healthy so we could do more for our dreams still waiting to be fulfilled.

Love,

Florence Joyce

Open/read when: You need some love...

Dear (Future) Sunrise,

Here I am, writing to you again. I hope you won't mind. I know I still haven't met you yet. We haven't crossed paths at all ー at least not yet. But you know I can wait. I'm willing to wait until I can finally meet you. We do stand under the same sky, regardless of where you are right now. And that sky will become my guide to meet you one day.

Wherever you are, I hope that you are okay. That you are healthy. That you are loved ー both by your family and by many people around you. And here I am, actually grateful that you are living a well-off life (both literally and metaphorically). Then again, I can tell that there could be moments when it wasn't enough. Or maybe you can't feel it, for some reasons. Whatever the case, let this love I saved for you reach you in some ways.

I'd love it so much if this letter would help you remember why (one day) I will choose to love you. It's because you're you. You, at some point and I can tell, will change my life for the better. You will make me find one best part of myself that I didn't even know I have in me. If you're losing the reason to continue, please know that I'm still here. In time, we'll meet each other. In God's perfect timing, we'll love each other deeply and unconditionally. Don't ever think that no one loves you when a moment for you to think like that. I love you. I will love you. And I will always find a way to love you, even at your worst. Don't lose hope. Don't lose faith. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.

These words might not be enough for now. One day, I know and I'd love to see how these words can somehow change you. In time, if fate allows it, then I can show it to you and prove it to you in ways I know. I may be lacking in some parts, but let me do my best to show to you that are loved, whoever you are. You are the one I will choose to be with and you will be the one who I can love with all my heart. I hope you will remember that before we meet ー finally.

With all the love I have,

Florence Joyce

I Love When...

To my (future) Sunrise,

I love it when you give me the best smile you can show me each time I wake up. Beside you or when you enter the room, bringing me breakfast even though you don't have to. You have no idea how those smiles of yours would provide an energy booster for me to get through another treacherous day.

I love it when each "I love you's" you'd speak would not only make my heart flutter, it also gives me the confidence and the faith that I always lack before. Each different ways you'd say the word "love" brings me closer to the reason why I know I chose the right person to love and be with for the rest of my life.

I love it when each tight embrace would crumble the walls I surround myself effortlessly and still warm enough to make me feel secure. Your embrace becomes the strongest shield I have and can use to protect my heart from getting hurt even more by the demons of this world and my life.

I love it when, in spite of everything you've learned about me, good or bad, you stayed by my side with no hesitation. You held my hand and kissed it gently, like a princes you'd always treat me to be, and believed that I can be more than what I usually think I am.

And because of all the things I love about you, it only gives me more reason to love you even better each day without holding back. With all these, I know and I can tell that it was just right that my heart, once broken and lost, would always be grateful to the heavens above that I came to love you today and for all of my life.

I love you. ❤

The one who will love you this much,

Florence Joyce

Dance With Me

To the (future) love of my life,

I know I'm not a good dancer. I'm not much of a dancer, anyway. But it's a dream come true for me to be able to dance with you. For me to be able to move gracefully with the music together with you.

I can feel my heart soar if it does happen, if you also decide to fulfill this little wish I have. So please, will you dance with me one day? And I'd love it so if it would put a smile on both of our faces and even our hearts that love each other more and more each coming day...

With love,
Florence Joyce

Write a letter to your favorite internet friend.

To Sharmyn (@slightstories on Instagram),

Okay. You're the first person I thought of as soon as this prompt came out. Only because you're the first internet friend that I have. A lot of things changed in my life as soon as we met online, believe it or not. Or at least, some things about me had changed. If I'm going to be honest, I wasn't at all confident with all the stories I post online, especially in Wattpad. Until now, it still feels that way. But ever since getting to know you online, being friends with you on Wattpad and Facebook, I've started feeling that I'm on the right track when it comes to my writings. It's embarrassing to say that I can't recall the first time we've started communicating online. Nevertheless, I'm still glad that I got to know you. I'm still inclined on doing that long planned collaboration with you and if fate would actually allow it to happen, I truly wanted to meet you in person. Who knows, right?

I may not be active on Wattpad and Facebook these days (or months). But please know that I still haven't forgotten you. We might not be communicating too much right now, but realize that I'm still here. I'm currently in the midst of a "deep contemplation" on what I truly want to do with my life right now ー aside from writing, of course. I hope you realize a lot of your life purpose, too. I truly pray that for you.

Thank you for being a good friend, regardless of our geographical distance.

Your online friend,

Florence Joyce

🔅🔅🔅

Update: 9/21/20

Here are the exchange of comments (in Tagalog, of course) between me and that particular online friendafter she read this.

A letter of your choice. (My Future Sunrise)

Dear future Sunrise (a.k.a soulmate),

Obviously, I haven't met you yet. I guess it's because we're far from each other. We're isolated from one another. And even in this quarantine time/period of isolation that the world is going through, we're still determined to find each other. I don't know when or how or if it will even happen. But even if I do feel despair at times and thoughts of letting things stay this way occur in my mind more often than usual, I don't want to give up. I'm still here dreaming, imagining, and praying that I would find you. Without a doubt, it's happening. I have to believe in that.

For now, it's going to be hard for both of us. This period of isolation and our limiting beliefs is putting us through in feeling lonelier and yearning for something missing in our lives more than ever. The right thing we can do for each other right now is believe we'll get through this. Let's have faith that we can find our way to each other, no matter what happens. It can happen, as long as we both believe.

Still waiting for you,
Florence Joyce

A Letter To: My Disappointed Parents

I’m sorry. I know it’s short, but that’s all I can say for now. I know I’ve disappointed you for so long now. I’m sorry. To think I’m the eldest child who managed to graduate in college and yet here I am, still stuck with what I want to do rather than do what is necessary to help you. I’m crying as I write this, in case you don’t know. Maybe because I couldn’t force myself to do anything. Pessimism is one reason. Not having enough guts is the other.

Sometimes, I couldn’t help wishing that maybe I should disappear, right? Since I’m the eldest daughter who can’t even find the effort to help you in every way, I can’t help thinking that way. But I know from the start that it’s wrong. Disappearing would only make things worse than ever. I can understand where your disappointment to me is coming from. It’s because all your words to me are falling on deaf ears. I keep refusing to listen to your advices about finding a job since it’s about time I help you and at least ease your burden for at least a little. I’m an irresponsible daughter and I accept that. I know I’ve been for a long time since I graduated.