Hi, everyone. Welcome to my blog.
Okay, this turned out to be weird with that introduction. Why am I writing this as if I'm imagining myself saying this in a video or something. Or maybe that's just me.
In any case, as you can see by the picture I included here, it is my 900th day of daily journaling! And yes, this post was 3 days late, basing it on the date I placed on the picture. But it's better late than never, right? So here I am.
I never mentioned it here on my page before, but I said it before on my Instagram account that I started daily journaling back in July 30, 2020. That was after I watched a video by Carrie Walker about her writing in her journal for 1,000 days. And yes, I got inspired to do the same. But that wasn't the first time I journaled. Wait, was that even a proper word? 🤔🤔
In any case, I started journaling again (after 10 years, 2 months and 6 days) back in June 13, 2019 (the day after the Philippine Independence Day) on a notebook that I bought a week (?) prior. Of course, I didn't journal everyday back then because I was lazy to even write anything in some days. Sometimes even a week. And only after the pandemic had started to hit full force when I watched the video and made that goal -- to write in my journal for 1,000 days.
Sounds easy, right? WRONG! It was never easy, for real. So it's still a miracle for me to be able to reach 900 days in daily journaling. Only 100 more days before I can finally say... Yes, I did it! I reached my goal!
You could say this is a big deal for me. It is, especially for someone who would constantly make a goal -- big or small -- and didn't have much determination to go on and continue doing it. That's me and at some point, maybe that is still me right now. I still have some goals that I kept dropping because I couldn't handle the pressure it would bring to me.
This is my weak mindset that I've been trying to fight off for a long time. And this weak mindset was something that my journal entries have come to know from me. Even though it was hard to write everyday, writing in my journal had helped me get through the isolation that the pandemic caused. It helped me deal with all my frustrations that more often than not, I would cry silently about. No one knew I was about to slip away back then, not even my family.
Honestly, because of what has happened late last year (seeing news about deaths by suicide and all), I realized that I was glad that I was still able to find an outlet to release my negative emotions and never let it consume me completely. I was never a talkative person when it comes to my emotions (even to my own family), and so the only one who had ever known what I was thinking and feeling were my journals. All 10 of them, at the moment.
Sure, at first, journaling for me was daunting. That's probably the reason why I haven't written in a journal for over ten years since that last entry from April 2009 before I started journaling again on June 2019. But writing has always been my first love. And I used my first love to release the negative emotions that my heart's been holding through journaling. Of course, fiction writing still helps me in a way that it gets me away from reality for a little bit, with all the scenarios running in my head and most of them, I'm the hero (*hides shy face 😂). But journaling helps me sort my feelings and my thoughts so that I won't get overwhelmed by it all.
I rarely cry to the point of not stopping because everything that had happened was too much already. And I know that's not good at all. It's not a sign of being strong for me. I just decided to keep the pain and frustration to myself for a certain period of time and only let my journals know about them. The time will come that I'd be able to go back and read what I wrote in these journals. I don't know what I'll feel. But at least I'm glad that I got to write them down. They're the written pictures of my daily life, after all. And my emotions in a written form.
Okay. Now that's one dramatic entry that I have right here. I can feel my cheeks heating up for some reason as I wrote this entry. Now that's weird, right? So I hope you found this sensible for a lost and emotional 31-year-old. Maybe you're wondering why I'm telling you this in a random website that isn't a part of me. Well, that's a question.
Anyway, I just want to thank you guys again for reading my latest blog entry. It was really sweet, I promise. But seriously, when was the last time I wrote a blog entry like this? I hope I get to hear from you guys soon.
Till next time! Bye!
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