"W-what are you doing here, Professor?"
It was all Sari could ask in spite of her shock seeing Soohoon in front of her doorstep. Yes, he already knew she lived there. But to actually see him pay her a visit like that, and out of the blue...
'What the heck is going on?'
It was a good thing she was wearing her glasses, so she didn't have to worry about looking at his eyes and end up seeing more of his past lives. But it didn't dissipate the strong pounding of her heart as he stood there with a smile.
He looked exactly the same as the last time he showed up like this.
He must've seen her staring at him for too long, because after giving her some seconds to gather herself, he took a small step forward, holding something behind his back.
"Miss Yoon, can I come inside? It would be rather awkward if we keep standing outside."
She had to bite back her urge to say no and instead nodded slowly, opening the door wider for him. He let his bag slip down from one shoulder as he stepped inside, but otherwise just stood there awkwardly, not knowing where else to stand.
As soon as she closed the door behind her, Sari inaudibly took a deep breath before turning to face the professor.
"I'm sorry for suddenly barging in here like this. But I did hear from my sister that it's your day-off today."
She nodded and smiled awkwardly. "But I was planning on going out before you arrived."
"You have plans?"
"I... uh..." Would she tell him the truth? Once again, she looked at him who only eyed her with mild curiosity. 'I wonder what lies beyond your eyes now that you're looking at me like this.'
Then again, she wasn't foolish enough to voice that out. Not to someone who was still a stranger to her.
"I... have to find something important that I lost yesterday." Okay, that was weird. She actually blurted the truth out like that. "And I need to find it."
"Could this be the 'important thing' that you've lost last night?"
Sari raised her head and faced Soohoon with a frown. She let out a gasp as the man took a leather notebook from the pocket of his long coat.
"H-how come...?"
The man gave her another smile. "I noticed this book on the car's carpet last night when the car moved again after leaving you here. And I thought... I should probably return it to you since it seemed quite special for you to carry it with you."
She couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief and placed her hand on her knees as she bent down.
"Hey, are you okay?" Soohoon's tone had worries in it.
She took a deep breath first before rising up and facing the professor. "I really thought I lost it for good..." she admitted, unable to hide the relieved but sad look on her face.
Soohoon said nothing as he handed her the leather notebook. After accepting it, she glanced once again at him, but the question that was on the tip of her tongue died down before reaching out to him. Instead, she simply smiled and extended her arms toward him.
"Thank you... for returning it."
Soohoon chuckled lightly and placed his hands on top of hers. Her palms were soft, yet calloused, and they felt warm against her skin.
"There's no need to thank me. I can tell how important it is to you. That's why I chose to come here and return it to you personally."
Sari didn't know what to say. But her heart was filled with gratitude for what he did.
"It's the only thing that I have of my father... ever since he disappeared five years ago..."
Okay, here comes another unexpected blunder. Did she just say that almost casually to him? Like they had known each other for ages!
She was so stupid. What was wrong with her today? She usually kept things professional when talking with people. At least, the ones who were not her friends.
"Ah, I'm truly sorry." she apologized immediately, hoping to make up for any mistakes she might've made. "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories to you..."
"It's fine, it doesn't bother me at all," he assured her calmly while giving her a small smile. "I'm just happy that I could finally return it to you."
Sari bit her bottom lip gently as she released his hands from hers, making their fingers tangle together as Soohoon turned to leave. But that gesture made her heart ache, for some reason.
Like... she was letting him go --- for good. Wait a minute! What was that supposed to mean? Why did it feel like... this has happened before?
Was that why it hurt so much...?
Before she could think further, her eyes widened in panic. "Wait!"
Her shout caused Soohoon to turn back towards her with a confused expression, and when she realized her mistake, she quickly covered her mouth with both of her hands, trying hard to suppress an embarrassed laugh.
"Sorry, that came out wrong..." she muttered sheepishly.
"No worries. You don't have to apologize for that," he replied with a grin. But his words seemed to have done little to ease the guilt and embarrassment she felt. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
Sari looked at Soohoon as she clutched the leather journal to her chest. 'I can do this... even though I don't know why I'm doing it, anyway...'
She took a deep breath once again and smiled. "Um... would you like to stay for lunch? That is... if you don't have any plans..."
Soohoon chuckled softly and shook his head. "No, that sounds great. I'll take you up on your offer."
xxxxxx
After eating lunch at her apartment, they decided to walk around town for a bit until they found a bench to sit on for a little while.
Sari watched as Soohoon sat next to her and leaned back against the backrest of the bench. His legs stretched out in front of him, and then he crossed them in front of him.
They weren't talking much, just enjoying each other's presence. The weather was pleasant enough, so it wasn't too cold out. They could easily afford to enjoy their time together without worrying about the weather.
For now, they enjoyed their silence as they admired the scenery before them. It was pretty, with the sun shining brightly above them, creating a golden light over everything.
"Once again, thank you for returning my father's journal to me, Professor," she started and turned to look at him. "I truly appreciate it."
"It was no problem at all, Miss Yoon."
She watched him carefully. The professor wasn't saying anything more, but she just let him be. His eyes were closed, which allowed her to have a closer look at the handsome features of the man she saved before.
'You really are handsome, huh?' Weird. She wasn't supposed to think that way, but she couldn't help it. But aside from that thought, her mind was running somewhere else.
Until now, she still didn't know what prompted her to rush like that and throw himself in front of him to become his shield. And recalling the shocked expression on his face when it happened made her feel as if... Soohoon had just lived that one tragic moment from his past lives once again.
'It wasn't because it happened all of a sudden. His eyes... were telling me a different thing at the time.'
It was a similar tragedy in all of his four lifetimes that, in her opinion, had haunted him all this time, even though she could tell that he wasn't aware of it.
Averting her gaze away from him, she tried to focus on looking straight ahead so that she wouldn't have to stare at him anymore. If he was going to remember his past lives, she shouldn't be getting involved in it.
"I hope doing this has made you feel better, at the least, after all that."
Those words made Sari turn to the professor, who was staring at her intently. Of course, as a result, her heart hammered in her chest crazily.
She nodded after a few moments. "Yes, I did. I thought I was going to break down when I lost that journal for good. And I truly appreciate it that you returned it to me."
All Soohoon did was to smile. Again, it gave Sari's heart another reason to beat wildly. Just what with his smile that would make her heart do that?
As much as she wanted to get to know him better, it didn't matter right now. Right now, she needed to get a hold of her feelings before she did something reckless. Not to mention, embarrassing.
But at the same time she knew that she couldn't do that, not now. Because somehow, that smile was already starting to grow on her like it belonged here.
Like, no, it definitely belonged here. This place, this feeling she was having was something she'd never felt before, especially not in such a short time.
That smile alone brought peace and comfort to her soul. She didn't know why, but she suddenly felt safe being near him.
'Why does this feel familiar, though?' It was the question that remained hanging in her head even as they continued their walk and headed home. 'But that's crazy...'
Right?
xxxxxx
Sari woke up with a start.
At first, she didn't understand where she was. All she could recall was falling asleep on a sofa and waking up to the smell of coffee.
Blinking her eyes open, she glanced at the clock next to her desk.
3:48 a.m.?
Had she actually fallen asleep?!
Groaning lowly, she turned around and buried herself under the blanket. She didn't want to get off the sofa.
Then, she remembered why she was sleeping on the couch.
Her eyes snapped open wide at the realization and she shot straight up in surprise.
What happened yesterday? She hadn't meant to fall asleep like that! And that weird dream...
Oh god, what was that?!
The memory of the dream was vague at best. There was something about a girl, and she was crying as she tried to assure the man cradling her that she'd be fine when she wasn't. She didn't remember her name clearly, but she definitely remembered the girl's face.
It was the woman that Sari had constantly seen in her dreams for such a long time!
When she saw it, she felt a strange sensation inside her chest that she couldn't explain. A sense of unease, almost. It made her stomach churn.
And the last thing she saw before she fell asleep was his face --- the man who cradled that dying woman till the end. A grieving and crying face that twisted her heart so much, she wanted to approach him and comfort him the best way she could.
It lingered on her eyelids, and everytime she closed her eyes again, she could see it.
But even though she tried her best to bury those thoughts deep in her heart, a part of her subconsciously still remembered.
And there was another part of her consciousness that told her that she should probably stop thinking about him.
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