I know I shouldn't be talking negatively like this about myself. But you know I can't help it, especially when a certain occasion had made me feel like this. There was no one to blame but myself and my choices, of course. In a way, I know I have to admit that to myself.
This is (currently) who I am... and I'm in the middle of working on getting out of this mentality. Even when society's dictation proved that I'm such a person by their standards.
I made my choice back then. And I'm able to stand my ground on that choice since then. It's hard, without a doubt. But I still try what I can to live everyday without regretting the choice I made. I decided to become a hardheaded daughter and choose what I want to do. It's not enough to make me live the life I want. And I'm fully aware of that.
Yet, when I made that choice, I felt... like myself in a way. It's strange, but I know that this is what I want to do. What I want to walk on to, even when I could see that the road will already be a rough one. I maybe crazy for thinking this. And maybe this is why I feel worthless since nothing much had happened since I chose this path.
But I know it'll be okay soon. Not because I believe in it, but because I'm claiming it -- one way or another...
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