When will this river of tears stop falling? Where can I run so I won't feel alone? — Until I Get Over You, Christina Millian
xxxxxx
It really felt like Kasumi was losing it. It felt like that dreaded feeling of losing everything. Right in front of you, at that. It was scary. It was heart-wrenching.
However, it wasn't something she could stop no matter what she did. Or was it supposed to feel that way? There had to be a way, right?
There has to be something that she could do to change things. Anything that would undo that mistake which cost their relationship.
Once again, Kasumi looked out the window of her own laboratory. But all she could see was the gloomy sky that only reminded her of her own heart’s gloom. She could only smile sadly at the thought, however.
With a sigh, Kasumi picked up her phone from her dress’ pocket and opened it, only to be greeted with a picture of that one man who still wouldn’t leave her mind. Not that she was forcing herself to do so in any way at all. From where she was at the moment, it could take her a long time before she could even make any step just to do that.
“Now that’s an insane thought to deal with, isn’t it?” A bitter smile appeared on her face and looked at the cloudy sky once again.
A ringing coming from her phone snapped her out of her reverie. Curious as to who would call her at that hour, she casually opened it. Her eyes widened, however, at the sight of the name flashing on the screen.
“Why would he…?” Those were the only words that she could utter as her phone continued to ring.
Then again, she had no reason not to answer this, right? In fact, whether she would admit it or not, she was waiting for this for a long while since it happened.
Kasumi took a deep breath the moment she decided on what to do. Even with her hand slightly shaking, she pressed the Answer button and placed the phone to her right ear. “Hello?”
She heard a relieved sigh followed by a chuckle. “I thought you wouldn’t answer.”
“Do I have a reason to do that right now? I think we both need this.”
That statement was the truth. As unbelievable as it sounded, she could sense it in the caller’s voice.
The need for both of them to talk.
“How have you been, Agri-kun?”
For a short while, no answer came from the other line. But she waited. She knew he was still there. Possibly just… trying to collect himself and calm down so their conversation would flow smoother.
Or at least, she wanted to think of it that way.
However, Agri’s silence on the other line had only made Kasumi’s eyes sting, for some reason. Why wouldn’t she feel that way? It was that kind of silence that started to form a gap between them. The reason why they both refused to listen to each other.
Honestly, she regretted it. Every second of it. And she doesn’t like the feeling at all.
‘So that’s why I’ve been feeling so gloomy ever since that night. That’s why I’m still looking for him even through all that has happened…’
That realization had only allowed those stinging tears to finally fall from her eyes. This time, she finally allowed them to — as silently as she could. She didn’t want to distract Agri and make him decide to drop the call or something. Of course, she could be the only one thinking that way.
“Are you okay?” was Agri’s question on the other line that broke the unbearable silence.
But it was enough… More than enough to stop her tears from falling. That alone was also enough for her to arrive at a certain realization.
“I miss you… and I’m sorry…”
Three words on each of what she truly felt at the moment. She just wanted to say them before she became afraid to do so.
A chuckle that felt slightly strained was heard on the other line. Whether it was out of amusement or possibly even relieved or something, she had no idea. But she heard it and her heart felt warm. It has been so long since she last felt it.
And indeed, she missed it.
So much.
Once again, another chuckle came through before Agri spoke.
“If you’re not busy, and if it’s okay with you… can we meet?”
At that moment, Kasumi’s answer was immediate.
xxxxxx
It’s short, I know. But I just want to write something just so I can say to myself that “I showed up” to writing. This is the real problem I have had for a long while now, and so that’s why I couldn’t even give a proper update on any of my writings.
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