At Least We Have Forever 34 - A Weakened Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho and its characters. I do own the plot, Riya and other OC's of this story, though.

Warning: The characters might not be in their usual selves. In other words, possible OOC.

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AT LEAST WE HAVE FOREVER—Chapter 34: A Weakened Heart

Those words Riya had spoken didn't only came as an extreme shock to everyone, particularly to Kurama, but it also struck them big time. For Kurama, he felt like his heart was stabbed a thousand times over, even worse than the pain he felt when he took the attack to save Riya at the cost of his life.

"What kind of question was that? How come you don't even remember your own boyfriend?" Botan exclaimed incredulously.

"But Botan-chan… I don't even remember having one," Riya said in confusion that only tripled the pain Kurama was feeling.

When they looked at the said fox demon, no one could figure out what could he possibly be thinking. But they knew that the pain it inflicted to his heart was too much. No one knew how would he be able to handle it.

"What was the last thing you remember?" Noboru (Ren) asked as he approached Riya who was still confused about what was going on.

The said maiden pondered for a while before speaking. "The last thing I remember is that I was sitting under the sakura tree before Yusuke came and talked to me about something… which I couldn't remember what. And then I find myself here. Did I pass out or something? I really can't remember anything after that."

Yusuke looked at everyone with a "what-the-heck-is-going-on?" look before Keiko decided to approach Riya.

"Maybe you should take a rest for a while. You're probably just tired so you couldn't remember anything much. We'll just have some 'issues' to talk about. Okay?" Keiko said gently as she tried not to let a single teardrop fall because of witnessing the pain in Kurama's eyes a while back. Riya complied and laid down on the futon once more. When she closed her eyes, Keiko put her hand on her mistress' forehead and it emitted a bright yellow glow that lasted for a few seconds before it faded.

Keiko removed her hand from Riya's forehead and stood up before facing the others. "I need to talk to you. All of you."

The other wielders exchanged glances at each other before complying to the fellow wielder's words. The rest decided to just go with the flow. Keiko's stern words somehow meant that what she was about to tell them was completely serious. As for Kurama, though he wanted to demand an explanation from Riya, he figured that the answer he needed to know wouldn't be coming from her.

Little did he know that the explanation he needed would be coming from the person who had spoken to Riya last before her memories got screwed up. Kurama would be able to learn the truth from Keiko, or at least that was what Hiei realized.

They all reached the living room soon after and took a seat on the couch. Some of them sat on the floor and on Hiei's case, on the windowsill. The atmosphere surrounding them was tensed and Keiko had to close her eyes for a few seconds and take a deep breath before she faced them.

"So what do you want to talk about, Keiko-chan?" Botan asked, breaking the unbearable silence.

"And what the heck was that? It seems that you know what is going on with Riya for her to act like that. It's not even funny," Yusuke added.

"She's not acting at all, Yusuke," Keiko gravely responded that caught everyone's attention. "She really couldn't remember Kurama or anything with regards to the battle we're facing right now."

"But how did that happen?" Akane (Sei) asked. "She could remember all of us except for Kurama? That's not even a nice joke."

But Keiko didn't say anything for a few moments. They saw her hands clutched her pants since they were placed on her lap.

"Keiko-chan?"

"She decided to give up what's really important to her…" Keiko started. "…as a price for reviving Kurama."

All were stunned upon hearing the last phrase Keiko had spoken.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yukari asked.

Keiko sighed before speaking once more. "That's what Riya-chan said to me while we were having a conversation back in the Sacred Prayer Room. When she and Kurama were transported to the Alyssum Castle before we entered the portal, Carissa-san told her that there was a way for Kurama to be revived. But that would only be possible if she decided to give up what's truly important for her."

"So she decided to give up her memories with Kurama-san in it?" Yukina inquired hesitatingly.

Keiko shook her head sadly. "Not just the memories. What she gave up was the most important feeling that she had for Kurama. Her love for him and the memories that she has with Kurama in it were the cost for bringing him back to life."

Everyone in that room, including Genkai who had just entered and heard the conversation, was stunned. Too stunned, in fact, that no one was able to utter anything for a minute or so.

"She… did that much?" Ayako whispered after recovering from the shock.

"No way…" was all Yumi could say.

"But why would she do that?" Kuwabara asked, still in the state of disbelief that only made Keiko's head ache a little.

The answer was already obvious but she decided to let them know what Riya said to her before Carissa did something to Riya's memories. What she noticed, though, was that Kurama hadn't spoken a single word ever since Riya said that she couldn't remember him. So Keiko faced the red head and uttered the words that were extremely familiar to the fox demon.

"Riya-chan said that she would rather lose you alive than dead… even if she had to sacrifice what's extremely important to her," Keiko stated as she remembered that last conversation she had with her mistress. "Sounds familiar?"

Kurama said the same thing to Riya-chan on the night of the Rose Ball," Botan said as she recalled the said incident.

"Why didn't you stop her from doing that?" Yukari asked a little frustratingly.

"I can't," Keiko simply answered. "… and she wouldn't let me…"

"This must be the reason why she only talked to Keiko-chan," Soujiro commented when he fully understood the situation.

"She knew we'll do everything to stop her without even considering what she was feeling," Yumi added.

"Riya-sama already lost a father and a brother. She couldn't afford to lose the only person who made her live her life again. So giving up what she treasured the most would only erase the pain she felt," Akane said sorrowfully.

No one spoke a word for a short while once again.

"You said a while back that even the memories that Riya had with regards to the ongoing battle were also erased," Kurama said, speaking for the first time but in a slightly strained voice. Keiko nodded as an answer. "What do you mean by that?"

It took a while for Keiko to answer Kurama's question.

"Those memories were the cost of removing the curse of her powers from her body. So don't be surprised if you hear an altered version of some events from her."

"Altered version? What's that supposed to mean?" Hiei asked with a slight frown.

"Carissa-san altered her memories as she removed what was really needed from Riya-chan's mind for the deal. With the exception of Kurama, Riya-chan will most likely remember all of us. But the reasons how we met her will be different from what had really happened. So her memories about the battle, and the Legendary Weapons were erased from her mind. Even the deaths of her father and her brother will end up altered and she would only remember them to be deaths from certain unfortunate accidents," Keiko explained gravely and then she looked at the others.

Kurama didn't know what to say after hearing all of that from Keiko. But knowing all of that in one sitting didn't actually help him in any way at all. In fact, it only tore his heart further apart knowing that Riya gave up her love for him for his sake… just like before.

In the end, you lied to me, Riya… Kurama thought painfully as he remembered the conversation that he and Riya had the night before the predicted first battle. You said that you'll never forget me no matter what happens. Why did you have to say those words when you will end up breaking them in the end?

But no matter how much he cursed himself for being the primary reason to let Riya decide something like that, there was nothing he could do. Not a thing. In addition to that, a realization made him feel as if it actually pierced his heart through and through, causing immense torment to slowly engulf his whole being.

No matter how much he hated the idea, it would always flash brightly in front of him even if he had to run away to avoid it.

Kurama lost Riya in the end.

He might not have lost her physically but having her made that fateful choice in favor of bringing him back to life proved too much that he still lost her in this battle. He failed, to sum it all up.

And he hated it. So much.

With a heavy heart and a grave look on his face, Kurama stood up from his seat and proceeded to the door.

"Where are you going" Hiei asked.

"Anywhere," Kurama answered. Probably somewhere where I could disappear forever for me not to feel this pain any further, he added in his thoughts before sliding the door open and closed it behind him as soon as he got out.

The clouds continued to loom over the sky, draping the world in a smoggy darkness that seemed to depress him even further. But before he could even take one step, it started to drizzle and afterwards turning to a light rain in which he didn't seem to mind. He just walked away from that place—or rather from the shocking truth he had learned which was enough to weaken his heart that truly and strongly loved for the first time.

Without knowing, his walking soon became running as rain continued to fall from the sky. He didn't care about him getting wet and all since he knew the rain wouldn't be enough to get rid of the pain he had in his heart. He just ran and ran with no idea where to go at all. Anyway, it didn't even matter that much to him.

All that he cared about at that moment was to run and disappear into the darkness in order for him not to deal with any of this any longer. That way, he could at least keep his sanity still intact, hoping that running would provide an escape from this horrid reality. He would have given anything just to disappear, to forget everything that had happened in the last two months.

But the reality that Kurama wanted so badly to forget was the fact that this horrible battle didn't only destroy the one thing that was making him happy, but also magnify the feeling of loss to the point where it destroyed him from within. It was the reality that he had never anticipated at all.

And all he could feel was a relentless sting tha kept throbbing within his body surely enough to cripple him in the next few day, maybe weeks…

…or even months. Who knows?

Right there and then, Kurama felt that the world and the life he returned to have all shattered in front of his eyes. That was when he figured out that his world would never revolve the same way again.

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That's it for Chapter 34… one of the saddest and angsty chapters in this entire fic, so far.

Sorry for the angst in the last chapter… and I guess even in this chapter. I still can't believe I did that to Kurama and Riya. I still want to cry for them because of what I did to them.

And to the readers, can you please tell me what you think about this story and this chapter? I want to know about it through your reviews. Please? :)