Contemplations Not Written On Journal # 3

I haven't written anything here in a while. But since I didn't write anything on my journal tonight, either, I might as well do it here. Nothing much has happened, though. I still have to deal with so many things. A few of them, namely:

❇️Cold weather
❇️Toothache (or better call it gumache)
❇️Headache
❇️Impatience
❇️Boredom
❇️Fear of a lot of things

Weird, huh? But it's a good thing that I could be distracted from all of these by simple things. At this point, I ended up enjoying to watch reaction videos of a few foreign channels with regards to P-Pop boy group SB19. I have to admit, I came to love some of their songs. But I actually find it hilarious to watch other people react to this group. At least, they don't just settle to reacting entirely to K-Pop.

Right now, I'm dealing with runny nose and headache because of (obviously) a common colds that I have contracted already. I could only hope that it won't get worse when New Year arrives. I don't want to end up getting sick on that festive event.

By the way, a while back, I was thinking of rewriting the "Eight Thorned Blades" entirely. Like start everything from scratch. Literally. Of course, the original concept will remain. But instead of multiple POVs placed together, I'll possibly focus on one to two. It still depends. It will start with Kourin's (the surviving princess of the Shinomiya clan), then the other clan princesses will follow. I'm still debating on this one, to be honest. I have no idea on how will I implement this, or if I will actually do it.

Anyway, I'm still thinking about it. I also need to read more materials so I could actually continue the story. I could seriously feel that my writing juice is depleting at a steady rate. It's still alaraming for me, in case you don't know.

So I guess that's it for my rant that I couldn't write on my journal for now. I have to sleep already, in hopes of dissipating this headache that's been going on since this afternoon. I really don't want to rely on more medicine because of this.

In any case, good night.

おやすみなさい。。。

잘자요...

Contemplations Not Written On Journal # 2

I couldn't think of anything to write on my journal tonight. So I'm doing it here. However, I have a feeling that I'm only going to do a short version of this.

I still have no idea what to write here, to be honest. It's already getting late and not to mention, I'm getting sleepy. Maybe the cold December weather triggers it. At the moment, I have no idea.

Well, today, I've written down the episode list of Detective Conan with the intention of rewatching it and maybe, write at least a short thought about each episodes. I kind of need to refresh my mind about the series before I actually need to continue writing the third book of the Prince of Tennis/Detective Conan crossover fanfiction series "Detective Tennis".

In any case, I still need the inspiration, so rewatching this was like a refresher for me. It's been a long while since I last watched this series anyway.

Excitement could be my reason why I forgot to write anything there yesterday. For what, you might ask? For this — the beach outing that my sister has planned as a treat to herself and as a celebration (an early one) for her birthday on December 16. Yes, her birthday is also the start of the Misa de Gallo (simbang gabi) here. I don't know if I'd be able to attend the 9 morning mass, though. I really want to. But the schedule of the water delivery on Sunday is getting later than usual, to the point of not getting the necessary sleep hours.

So, yeah. Tomight, I'm writing this entry on another location. At this point, we're at the Aloha Beach Resort and it's hot. If it's cold in Baguio, it was the opposite here. And that really gave me quite a headache, even though I enjoyed playing in the sea water waves. I actually prefer sea water than pool water ever since I started playing in the waves.

From what I can see, this entry is going to be short, now that this headache is not helping me concentrate at all. So I guess I'd say good night here. Hopefully, I'd have a picture of the sunrise by the beach tomorrow.

おやすみなさい。

It's only the second entry and I had a feeling that this is going to be a bit long. Or not. Well, there was an issue on one of the group chats where I was a part of. As much as I want to write it down here, I had this thought that this is going to be a waste of space. Sorry for putting it that way here, even though the issue has something to do with writing.

Because of this, I couldn't help missing those days where writing wasn't as toxic as it was now. To be specific, my FFN days. That was a long time ago, though. I was still in college back then. I wanted to write stories the way I did during those times. I might be stating things here as if I'm getting old. But 28 is already an adult age. My mind, however, isn't exactly functioning and thinking as a 28-year-old woman should be. I had this feeling that my life stopped functioning properly since my last job where I was fired. Or maybe it stopped before then.

Honestly, I don't know anymore.

Anyway, we're all still preparing, little by little, the things we are all going to bring for our beach outing this weekend. But I realized that during those two days, I won't be able to play A3! I think I could use that time to have fun at the beach or read something on a new environment or possibly even write something.

We'll still see.

Okay. I guess this ends my entry for tonight. It's time to get to the bed and sleep early. At least, I'll try.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。

It's a brand new journal on that journal!

And yes, I should be celebrating and hoping that I'd be able to actually fill that notebook with more (hopefully) interesting stories of my life. I'm not exactly sure that kind of stories will fill that one. But I hope none of them will have something disastrous or even heartbreaking.

The weather had just turned cold, so at the moment, I'm having a little bit of a hard time writing here. But I'm still trying since this is my first time entry there. I'm supposed to be sleeping already since it's late. But just as I always write on my first completely filled up journal, Wednesday night is a task night for me. Hopefully, I won't end up sleeping really late, unlike what happened last Sunday.

I wish I could write about what I dreamed this morning when I woke up. But if I'm going to be honest, I couldn't remember the details now. The only thing that was clear about it was the place — and it was at the airport. Weird, huh? You know, I really should have a notebook dedicated to the dreams I had and write them down as soon as I wake up. Which means, that notebook should be beside me or at least near me when that happens.

Okay. Now I think I ran out of anything to say for today. I mean, anything to write. Not say. I really hope that my task about that late water delivery will end soon so I could finally sleep.

And now, it's time to say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。

【poem】Here's To The Blue

Here's to the blue moments you never saw

as you never witnessed my falling tears

the day you decided to walk away.

Here's to the blue color that was once my favorite

and enough to make me smile somehow,

even though it doesn't do the same thing anymore.

Here's to the blue pen that once inspired me.

The colored pen that was said to trigger inspiration

and could make me cry now as memories flooded me.

Here's to the blue ink that would always stain

my beloved notebook and even my shirt

and would forever remind me of how you are in my life.

Here's to the blue sky that starts a new day

as the sun shines bright on a brand new me

and I began stepping out to face a life without you.

Even though life and the color that you love

would never bring you back to me at all,

I will stand firm, in one way or another.

The love we once knew would give us a new life

where we don't have to be reminded of things

that once made us regretful and forever blue...

【poem】Some Thoughts

I know you'll never wonder

about the life I have to ponder.

Maybe you'll never care at all

about the time I took the fall.

So here are the words I wrote,

back when I still love your quotes.

Even though your words linger on

as soon as I'm done crying a ton.

I'll forget you and let it all go

no matter how much I'll miss you so.