journal entry #189

It's the leap day, everyone! And it also means it's my grandfather's official birthday today. So today, my mom cooked foods that she wanted to offer for my deceased maternal grandfather. But if I'm going to be honest, it feels like I'm losing whatever connection I have left in me for that relative of mine. I don't know why, though.

And because of that, things got a little busy around here. It's tiring, but I had to face it. Now you can guess, most of us were tired because of that, so they slept quite early.

As for me, don't expect me to sleep early as past 7 PM. Unless I wasn't feeling well or something like that.

Okay, that's it. Now I'm sleepy.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。

journal entry #188

Two days...

I haven't written in my journal in that long. I have to say that they were on purpose, though. Either for the reasons that I was tired or I had no idea what to write. Like my mind went blank.

Anyway, since I haven't written there in two days, I didn't get to mention that I finally finished reading of what is my first read for 2020. The title was "The House With A Clock In Its Walls". I won't consider "Mister Monday" as my first 2020 finished read since I started reading it at around 2019. Right now, the one I'm going to read next is from the Talismans series called "The Amulet Of Quilla".

So... I'll say good night here. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。

Banjou (KR Build)/Fuuka (Ninninger): Finding This Missing Piece

You know, I've been dreaming of finding this missing piece. And to this day, I'm searching harder than ever and I think I've found it... ~ Mata Kimi To (With You Again), JAY'ED ft. Ms. OOJA

xxxxxx

Without a doubt, the New World made a great deal of change in Banjou's life. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. But the New World wasn't just a place where the Skywall didn't exist at all. It also brought out a lot of people he was quite sure he had never met before, even in the Old World.

But the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't think of a reason why he had started meeting new people that he didn't get to do so before. One particular person that he was sure he didn't get to meet before was one Igasaki Fuuka. Even though she looked like an ordinary girl who had less to worry about at first glance. Banjou was proven wrong when Sento pointed out that there was something mysterious about her. Not only Sento's words, but also an event that became a definite proof of the mystery surrounding the said girl.

(poem) I Wanted To...

I wanted to look for you, but I could never find you.

I wanted to dream of you, but they never make me see you there

I could chase after you, but I don't know how.

It seems like it's already over for me, even before it begins.

It's hard to think about you, and never knew what the future holds for us.

It's hard to desire to be close to you, when there's a massive distance separating us and our hearts.

Let's meet at some point, even when we don't have any idea if it will come true.

Let our paths cross one day and never let each other go ever again.

(poem) To Be Good Enough For Someone

Have I been good enough to become special to the one meant for me?

I really want all the effort I put to become worthwhile

Or will everything remain as a wish that could never come to be?

All this time, I keep thinking that I know I have to be ready

Have I been wishing for you to come into my life all the while?

Have I been good enough to become special to the one meant for me?

But you're just like the wind that I can never come to see

Why have I never found the chance to even come close to your smile?

Or will everything remain as a wish that could never come to be?

You're still so far away, out of reach like the star that I'd look longingly

As my heart sings of songs that are romantic and heartbreaking in style

Have I been good enough to become special to the one meant for me?

I could only cry as I think of what else is lingering there silently

Will I be able to traverse our distance that's more than a mile?

Or will everything remain as a wish that could never come to be?

I still remain here as I keep on wishing for this heart to be happy

And I won't stop dreaming that one day, we'd walk together down the aisle

Have I been good enough to become special to the one meant for me?

Or will everything remain as a wish that could never come to be?

...and here are the 18 guys that formed the Imperial Sky, the all-male sub-group of Alexandrite University's SGS. Though not as widely known as the ladies of Imperial Flowers—possibly due to the number of members, they still captured the hearts of everyone in the university with their charms and talents. Well, they wouldn't be chosen to be a part of one of the prestigious clubs in AU if they weren't, right? But just like their all-female group counterpart, each of them will soon find their match in the university that changed their lives for good.

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Now that this was finalized, I should be going back and continue writing the rest of the Imperial Flowers' stories so I could start this one soon. 😁😁

(poem) Destination and Ending

Are you the true destination I need to reach right from the start

Before I lose sight of the hope that my life that remained cold 

Or are you the ending that's never meant for my heart?

Like the bull's eye I hit while playing the dart

You've captured my attention and slowly awakened my sleeping world

Are you the true destination I need to reach right from the start?

Most of the time, love would dull the mind that was once smart

Making me do things for you that are both reckless and bold

But are you the ending that's never meant for my heart?

I never want to hate the day that we might be fated to part

One thay will make me cry so much from pain and let me fold

Are you the true destination I need to reach right from the start?

Each smile you give me, I see the dreams you want to impart.

But why did each of the pain from the past would put them on hold

Or are you the ending that's never meant for my heart?

I've always wanted to feel a love like an undying work of art

A love from you, more precious than any treasures or even gold

Are you the true destination I need to reach right from the start?

Or are you the ending that's never meant for my heart?

These 12 ladies formed the all-female sub-group of Alexandrite University's Spiritual Garden Society or SGS for short, a school club with members excelling in arts and music (and sometimes sports, as well). I've only written stories of the three of the members so far—with one already published (Mirui), the second was to be published (Guia) though I still have to idea when and the third was for revision (Yuna).

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Note: I'm posting these because I started reading @heartyngrid's St. Catherine High series and I thought of actually writing romance stories about the members of the all-male sub-group of SGS. 😁✌️😁✌️

At Least We Have Forever 51 - We're In This Together

"So I guess I'll have to hand to you the position of a leader, huh?" Yusuke said that confused Riya.

"I don't understand..."

"For now—- just until this battle ends—- I'll let you lead us. You're the mistress of the Legendary Weapon Wielders, after all. And right now, you're the only one who has the power to counter Erithea's powers. We'll entrust our victory to you, Riya."

Riya was surprised to hear that from Yusuke. To think the whole team would actually allow her to do something like that—- to entrust their victory onto their hands. But then she realized that—- among those who fought Erithea before—- she has the only weapon to eradicate the said evil being once and for all. She might have failed to eradicate her before since she used up her life force. But not this time.

journal entry #181

I was thinking of not writing anything in my journal. But that'll ruin the routine, right? Anyway, a lot of the tarot reading I see on YT for Virgo tells about one thing, for some reason. And that's about someone from the past coming back or trying to communicate. But if I'm going to be honest, I don't think there's any reason for any of those people from my past to communicate with me. For real. And still, the reading would truly make you curious if it will resonate, huh?

Okay, I'm already yawning wide here.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。

At Least We Have Forever 50 - Leader Position

All of them turned to see the one who spoke and they lit up upon seeing Riya descending to the ground. Carissa accompanied her.

"Where in the world have you been, Riya-senpai?" Yukari asked, teary-eyed but smiling.

Riya only answered with a smile and it made Yukari run towards her and embraced her. The mistress embraced the Sound Wielder, in return. The gang smiled at the sight.

"I'm really sorry for coming late. It's just that I need to retrieve something which would come in handy for this battle," Riya said after she let Yukari go.

Charming A Silent Heart - Chapter 12 (Final)

NATAPOS nang maayos ang isa sa mga performance ni AJ sa fund-raising concert kung saan si Aerin ang tumugtog para dito. Masigabong palakpakan ang sumalubong sa kanilang dalawa na ikinatuwa ni Aerin nang husto. Natutuwa siya dahil nagustuhan ng mga ito ang pagtugtog niya bukod pa sa pagkanta ni AJ. Pagpunta niya sa backstage, sinalubong siya ng ilang naroon at ipinahayag ng mga ito ang paghanga nila sa pagtugtog niya ng piano.

Mula sa gilid ng stage, kitang-kita niya ang banda ng kaibigan ni AJ na si Miette na nakahanda nang mag-perform. Ang all-girl band na iyon ang isa sa mga front acts ng concert. Naging kaibigan na rin niya ito noong mga panahong bumibisita ito kay AJ sa rehearsal studio ng huli. Naramdaman marahil nito ang presensiya niya dahil tumingin ito sa kanya at ngumiti ng makahulugan bago nito ibaling ang tingin sa mga audience.

Ano’ng ibig sabihin n’on? Bakit may iba siyang nararamdaman sa ngiting ibinigay ng dalaga sa kanya?

Narinig niyang binati ni Miette ang mga audience matapos magpakilala at nagpasalamat sa suportang ipinakita ng mga naroon para sa naturang concert na iyon. Nagpalakpakan naman ang mga manonood. Base sa nakikita niya, hindi iyon ang unang pagkakataon na nag-participate sa mga ganoong activities ang banda ng dalaga.

At Least We Have Forever 49 - Revival

Riya was breathing heavily after throwing those energy blades to merge with Yusuke and Hiei's attacks. She did that upon sensing the wielders' deaths that undoubtedly crushed her but she tried to remain strong for their sake. Gripping the cross-tipped staff tighter, Riya flew a few meters towards the spot on the sky just above the mourning group. So far, the gang hadn't sensed her presence yet and she wasn't planning to for now. In order to do that, Riya raised her staff- the same staff Carissa was using and carrying before- to the sky.

"Ethereal light, grant them the field of healing and protection," she uttered and the tip of the staff started crackling with energy. Afterwards, she swung it down towards the gang.

A sigil with 8-pointed star in it and colored silver appeared beneath the group which surprised them. Before they could react, a translucent white dome surrounded them in a flash. The sigil disappeared as soon as the group were healed inside the dome. Riya heaved a sigh after that.

Charming A Silent Heart - Chapter 11

TATLONG linggo pa ang matuling lumipas at kahit paano ay nagagawa nang kumilos ni Aerin nang normal kahit na may iniindang heartache. Nagpatuloy siya sa buhay niya kahit mahirap at walang araw na hindi siya dinadalaw ng mga alaala nila ni Chris. Alam niyang malabong makalimutan niya ito dahil hanggang ngayon ay umiigting pa rin ang pag-ibig na nararamdaman niya para sa binata. Mahal na mahal pa rin niya ito sa kabila ng masasakit na mga salitang sinabi nila sa isa’t isa. She loved him with all her life in spite of everything.

At lalong umigting ang pag-ibig niya para rito nang isang araw ay dumating ang isang balita. She fainted in the middle of her rehearsal for AJ’s fund-raising concert. Hindi na niya ikinagulat ang sinabing dahilan ng doktor.

She was pregnant. One month pregnant with Chris’ child. Naging emosyonal siya nang ibalita ng doktor iyon sa kanya. She was crying for two reasons. One, because she was happy that she has Chris’ child in her womb. At least she won’t be living with just memories of him in her heart and mind. Ang batang nasa sinapupunan niya ang katibayan na nag-exist si Chris sa buhay niya. And two, because she was sad that she wouldn’t be able to share her happiness with him. He pushed her away. At hanggang ngayon aymalinaw pa ring nakatanim sa kanyang isip ang galit na mukha nito dahil siya ang sinisisi nito. Dumadagdag na hiwa iyon sa kanyang puso sa tuwing naiisip iyon.

Para matahimik siya ay naisip niyang gawin ang isang bagay. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang posibleng resulta niyon sa buhay niya ngunit gusto niyang gawin ang kailangan. Lalo pa ngayong buntis siya. If he would hate her more for it, then it was fine. She has to do it. It was the only way.

“May rehearsal pa tayo mamayang alas-onse. Kaya huwag mong kalilimutang magpahinga ng maayos, okay?” paalala ni AJ nang pumasok ito sa silid niya. “Just tell me kung hindi ka makakapunta.”

At Least We Have Forever 48 - For Duty And Love's Sake Pt. 3

Yumi looked at Keiko's dead body one final time before she turned and faced the enemies. She materialized the Scarlet Blade of Flame onto her hands and looked at it intently, its blade reflecting her face. She could see her eyes had a different shine in them and she knew the reason why. And for that reason, she has to fight... for her to protect that even if her life would be the price for that.

"Don't even think of letting yourself die, Yumi," Hiei said firmly that snapped her out from her musings. In turn, the said maiden faced him and gave him a determined look that Hiei knew very much.

No matter how she looked at it, it always appeared to be the same. She knew that this would be her last chance.

Kisara Tomiko Character Introduction

#KoikeYui as Kisara Tomiko

Age: 23

::Natsuki's cousin who would take care of her from time to time ever since Natsuki moved to the city. She lived under the care of her aunt who was Natsuki's father's twin sister. Though not aware of Natsuki's mysterious ability at first, she too could see spirits that she sometimes use to help ghosts find the peace they needed. She was close to Natsuki since they were children and sometimes act as an older sister figure to her cousin despite being of the same age.

Okasaka Shiro Character Introduction

#SaitoSyuusuke as Okasaka Shiro

Age: 25

::Natsuki's childhood friend and would usually act as a brother figure to her since they were children who was the owner and manager of the bookstore "Pages & Scenes". It was his source of income ever since opening it when he was in college. He hired Natsuki as his assistant upon learning that she moved to the city and that she was already an orphan. He was constantly seen cleaning the grandfather clock that was on the shop when not doing anything or there weren't any customers around. But that clock was soon revealed to be holding something important relating to the stabbing incident that nearly took Natsuki's life a long time ago.

Koyashiki Mikio Character Introduction

#SetoToshiki as Koyashiki Mikio

Age: ???

::Despite having the appearance of a handsome young man, Mikio had no memories of what happened to him or how old was he when he died. For some reason, he wandered as a spirit around the area where the cursed road was located and nearly took Natsuki's life if it wasn't for him saving her. He was glad that she could see him after encountering people who couldn't do so for five years that he wandered the place. Realizing her special ability, he decided to himself that he would guard her and protect her in any ways he could. But over time, something made him realize (done with Natsuki's help) the reason why he became a wandering "chainless" spirit of that area for five years.

Yasuhara Natsuki Character Introduction

Tateishi Haruka as Yasuhara Natsuki

Age: turned 23 (at the start of the story)

::An orphan currently working as his childhood friend's assistant at the bookstore called "Pages & Scenes" ever since moving to the city when she was in college. Though appears to be normal to most people, her eyes gained the ability to see chains binding the ghosts that she encountered. It first happened after surviving a near-death experience when she was in elementary, which eventually made her life quite hard for her. Her life turned even weirder upon surviving another near-death event in which she met a "chainless" ghost that saved her.

CHAINS Story Description

Yasuhara Natsuki's (#TateishiHaruka) life was nothing considered to be something ordinary, especially if she gained the ability to see chains binding unsettled and restless ghosts around her. It started because of the stabbing incident that nearly took her life when she was in elementary and since then, life had been quite hard for her.

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On her 23rd birthday as she drove home from work, her car nearly fell over the cliff because of the hard rain. But thanks to a man named Heath who literally stopped the car for her, she was saved. And yet to her surprise, it was soon revealed that Koyashiki Mikio (#ToshikiSeto) was a wandering spirit around the area where the incident happened. He soon made it his duty to protect Natsuki from all harm despite being a spirit, in which she was grateful about despite finding it annoying at first.

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But upon learning the reason why Mikio's spirit was stuck in that area with no memories of what exactly happened to him, and with the curiosity lingering in her mind as to why she couldn't see chains binding him, Natsuki made it her duty to discover the truth. Not knowing that the answers she was looking for would lead her back to the stabbing incident that turned her life around.

Charming A Silent Heart - Chapter 10

INISANG  lagok lang ni Chris ang laman ng kanyang baso. Lampas na sa kalahati ang bawas ng bote ng brandy na iniinom niya subalit hindi niya pinapansin iyon. Tuloy pa rin siya sa pag-inom. Iyon lang naman kasi ang naisip niyang paraan upang pawiin ang di-maipaliwanag na sakit sa dibdib niya. May isang linggo nang ganoon lang ang ginagawa niya matapos niyang ipagtabuyan si Aerin sa bahay niya.

Umaalingawngaw pa rin sa kanyang isipan ang mga salita ni Aerin na tila humiwa sa puso niya. Alam niyang nasakta niya ito at hindi niya ito masisisi kung sabihin nga nito na pinagsisishan nito ang lahat ng namagitan sa kanila. Subalit ang mga salitang iyon ang hindi niya napaghandaan. Hindi rin niya napaghandaan ang sakit na idinulot ng mga iyon na tumutupok sa kanya ngayon. He regretted pushing her to leave. Ngayon lang niya napagtanto iyon. Wala siyang kaide-ideya ng mga panahong iyon na malaking bahagi ng kanyang pagkatao ang tila tinangay ni Aerin sa paglisan nito. Kaya naman ngayon ay nais niya itong makita upang kunin iyon ulit dito.

Walang araw na hindi siya nagpabalik-balik sa dalampasigan kung saan sila unang nagkakilala. Nagbabakasakali siya na makita roon si Aerin. Gusto niyang humingi ng tawad dito. Subalit bigo siya. Hindi niya ito ma-contact dahil hindi na nito sinasagot ang mga tawag niya. Hindi rin ito nagre-reply sa mga text niya. Laging out of coverage ang naririnig niya kapag tinatawagan niya ito. Mukhang nagpalit ito ng numero matapos itong umalis. Since then, hindi na naging normal ang takbo ng buhay niya. Tila nawalan na siya ng ganang gawin ang kahit ano.

Sa tuwing lilibutin niya ang bahay, palaging mukha ng dalaga at ang mga alaalang namagitan sa kanila ang nakikita niya. Kapag pumupunta siya sa sala ay agad na gumigitaw sa kanyang isipan ang espesyal na umagang namagitan sa kanila kung saan ipinagkaloob nito sa kanya ang sarili nito. Parang naaamoy pa niya ang bango nito na tila nakapagkit na sa carpeted na sahig na iyon. Kapag napapatingin siya sa grand piano, parang naririnig niya ang musikang madalas nitong patugtugin doon—ang “Rain’s Silent Love”. But it only broke his heart and made him unable to accept the fact that he sent her away even though she meant so much to him. His love for her was for nothing because he hurt her so much to the point of letting her regret everything that has something to do with him.

Charming A Silent Heart - Chapter 9

LIWANAG na nagmumula sa labas ang gumising kay Aerin dahil nasilaw siya niyon. Naramdaman din niya ang init niyon kaya alam niyang umaga na. Hindi naman masakit sa balat ang init kaya napagtanto niyang kasisimula pa lang ng isang bagong umaga. Bahagya siyang dumilat at nakita niyang nagmula sa nakahawing kurtina ang liwanag.

Dahan-dahan siyang bumangon at pinagmasdan niya ang paligid bago dumako ang tingin niya sa labas. Hindi niya alam kung bakit iba ang umagang iyon para sa kanya. She felt elated in a way. And that morning somehow felt warm. Tila nangangako iyon ng magandang simula para sa kanya dahil sa nangyari.

Napangiti siya nang sumagi sa isipan niya ang namagitan sa kanila ni Chris. Wala siyang anumang saplot sa katawan maliban sa kumot na tumatakip sa kahubdan niya. Nang lumingon siya sa gilid, natigilan siya dahil wala pala roon ang binata. Maaga yata itong nagising.

Nasa kusina kaya siya?

the last sky of the earth 98 - sculptures' clues

HINDI sigurado si Kourin kung ano ang nangyayari sa lugar kung saan nila iniwan si Hayato. Pero sigurado siya na ito ang lumalaban sa mga sandaling iyon kay Aphrodite. Whether she admitted it or not, it came as a surprise to her that the said assassin actually came out of her hole.

Walang ibang tumatakbo sa isipan ni Kourin ng mga sandaling iyon kundi ang malaman ang kasagutan sa ilan pang mga tanong na naglalaro sa kanyang isipan. Lahat ng iyon ay may kinalaman sa angkan ng mga Yasunaga. Pero wala siyang mapagtanungan na kahit sino sa mga kasamahan niya ng mga sandaling iyon. Those people might have knowledge about it, but surely not enough to provide the exact answer she was looking for.

Isang malalim na buntong-hininga na lang ang pinakawalan ni Kourin para pakalmahin ang sarili at iniikot ang tingin sa paligid kung saan siya naroroon ng mga sandaling iyon. It was a mountain cottage, large enough to house at least 5 people in it. Doon sila dinala ni Kohaku nang masiguro nila na walang sinuman sa mga Dark Rose ang nakasunod sa kanila. Kasalukuyang nakabantay sa labas sina Shuichi at Daryll matapos makapagpahinga nang kaunti ang mga ito. Habang sina Shingo at Ryuuji naman ay abalang nag-aasikaso sa paggamot sa mga tinamong sugat ni Mamoru.

"Do you think he'll be okay? I mean, kahit sabihin pang siya ang master ng Shichi RaiRyuuKen, wala pa ring garantiya na--"

Charming A Silent Heart - Chapter 8

BUNTONG-HININGA ang tugon ni Aerin sa hanging pumapaypay sa paligid habang pinagmamasdan niya ang flower farm mula sa burol. Doon siya naisipang magtungo matapos siyang payagan ni Chris na mamasyal nang mag-isa. Nagkataon namang may pinuntahan si Chris kaya malaya siyang makapamasyal ngayon. Pero imbes na sa flower farm siya magtungo ay sa burol siya dumiretso.Gusto lang naman niyang mag-isip kaya nagpaalam siya sa binata na mamamasyal ng mag-isa. Litung-lito na kasi siya sa tunay niyang nararamdaman. And everything she felt right now has something to do with Chris.

Ilang araw na lang at matatapos na ang two-week vacation niya sa bahay nito. Subalit ang inakala niya noon na simpleng crush lang ay unti-unting lumalim sa paglipas ng mga araw. She was attracted to him. She liked him. Hindi sumagi sa isip niya na tila higit pa sa sapat ang humigit-kumulang dalawang linggong pamamalagi niya roon upang magbago ang halos lahat sa buhay niya.

She spoke for the first time after a long time of not being able to do so. All because of a dream where she saw him leave her. Bumibigat pa rin ang pakiramdam niya sa tuwing maaalala ang panaginip na iyon. He never really left her. Subalit alam niyang darating ang araw na maghihiwalay ang landas nila ni Chris. Ilang araw na lang at mangyayari na ang paghihiwalay na iyon. One thing she couldn’t understand, however, were the words continuously echoing in her dream. Painful, harsh, and hurtful words enough to tear her heart apart. But as always, she chose to ignore it. Wala naman sigurong ibig sabihin iyon. Ang dapat niyang alalahanin sa ngayon ay ang nararamdaman niya.

'Makakaya ko nga ba talagang malayo sa iyo, Chris?' Iyon ang tanong na paulit-ulit niyang sinasambit sa sarili niya. At hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin siya nakakakuha ng sagot na kailangang-kailangan niya. Nais niyang malaman ang sagot sa lalong madaling panahon.

(one-shot) Still Want To Hold On

[Rina]

Just a last wish ended everything between me and Hiroto. I could've laughed, you know. Yes, he wished for it. But until this moment... I couldn't accept that everything disappeared just like that.

It was his wish that made me this strong... and yet still yearning to be with him. A long time had passed since then. I couldn't even tell how long I've yearned for him. Though we had a weird start, I learned to accept it when I made sure that I really loved him. I accepted him in spite of the truth threatening to pull us apart from each other. I learned to bear all that... because I knew I would never be able to love anyone in my life again the same way I've come to love my husband who, until the end, remained thinking about me and my happiness.

(one-shot) Only Way To Counter That

Isang buntong-hininga na lang ang pinakawalan ni Kara matapos sipatin ang katatapos lang na painting. Hindi naman dapat ganoon ang reaksyon sa katatapos lang na obra. Pero hindi niya maiwasang gawin iyon.

Isang pagkatok sa pinto ng silid na gamit ni Kara ang pumutol sa daloy ng pag-iisip niya. Hindi niya napigilang pangunutan ng noo dahil doon. Sino naman kaya ang malakas ang loob na guluhin ang katahimikang ini-enjoy niya?

Okay, medyo weird na yata ang dating n'on. Pero iyon naman ang totoo, 'di ba? Nagkulong siya roon para makapagpinta at para ma-enjoy na rin ang katahimikan doon.

"Kara!"

(one-shot) Better Than This Moment

Quite an old story dedicated to MoonDust_JC/NaughtyCielo.

"Sige na. Ngumiti ka na."

Bakit ba ang kulit ng babaeng 'to ngayon? Sa totoo lang, ilang beses na niya akong kinukulit na ngumiti. Ano naman ang meron at ganito siya kakulit ngayon?

Pero gaya ng madalas kong gawin, hindi ko sinunod ang gusto niya. Wala akong dahilan para ngumiti ngayon. Stressed ako at gusto ko munang alisin sa isip ko ang kung ano mang 'di magandang nangyari sa akin ngayong araw.

"Bakit ba ayaw mong ngumiti, ha? Minsan na nga lang akong mag-request sa 'yo, eh."