journal entry #87

...and so the issue of me being unemployed was brought up once again. I don't know what brought that up, but something had definitely acted as a trigger for that to happen. I know it's a really worrying issue on their part since I would be at the losing end if I don't do something about it.

But the most worrying part of it was my... nonchalant reaction to it. It's like... I don't have any plans at all. So now what? I'll just die like this if I don't do something to support myself? I can't rely on my father at all when it comes to that. He'll just lecture me nonstop and I don't want to add anymore resentment towards him than what is already existing in my heart. It's hard to bear that already and it's too much for me.

journal entry #86

I'd better write something in my journal but I'd actually forget again. And since I'm not yet sleepy, I might as well take that as my chance. You do know that my usual reasons for not writing an entry in my journal is either because I'm tired, it's cold for my hand to actually work on the writing, I'm sleepy or I just don't feel like writing anything at all. The last one sounds like a lazy person's reasonings, huh?

So am I supposed to list the events here or what? Even though there wasn't so much to tell. Anyway, I think I could input 2-3 things.

• I was able to go to town. As usual, to do an errand for my mother. And yes, I had to do it to satisfy her cravings.
• Currently writing the 4th chapter of Francis' story. I do know I won't be able to finish it tonight but I hope I'd be able to by tomorrow. Two more scenes left before it happens.
• Just watched the 29th episode of Ryusoulger and it wasn't too much of a surprise for me to actually see Nada inside Gaisourg's armor. I do have a lot of questions about that, but I guess I'll just wait for the next episode to air.
  
  
  
• Oh, yeah. I got another wound on my finger. Seriously, what is with the knife in our house injuring me without me realizing it?

So that's how my day went. Not so much, but I'd still consider this a good day for me. Anyway, it's time for me to end this entry here and say good night. おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #85

So no entry written here yesterday, huh? Well, not that it was another boring day that I didn't even have anything to write. But drowsiness really beat me to it and so I slept before I could write an entry here.

Let's list down what happened today, shall we?

• Today was the regular weekly meet-up with my father, though only my second sister and I were the ones who went. My first sister was at work and my youngest sister wasn't feeling well.
• I'm still trying to finish typing down the 43rd chapter of a Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic that I wrote about... I think half a decade ago? I'll still have to check on the date I first posted it on FFN.
• Went to town the second time to head to the market. And I think that was the reason why my head is aching as I write here. The weather already started acting up as I was walking to head to town.
• Still trying to keep up with the postings for the two writing-related IG challenges I participated into. In any case, so far so good. And I only focused on discussing one story on both challenges. Well, I think it was just about time I started doing something more for that pending story.

Not so much of an event for the day, huh? In fact, I think there wasn't even anything new. Anyway, it's Sunday night and I'm still up because of a task. My weekly task that usually keeps me up until 1 to 2 in the morning.

With that, I guess my entry for today ends here. Good night. 😊❤️ おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #84

It's my first day of my monthly "red days" and it hurts. Seriously. Anyway, it's not that cold so I guess I could still handle it. Usually, during the cold season, red days are really such a pain to me — literally. By the way, the wounds that I sustained from cleaning the pipe where the sink was connected to were starting to heal. And that means, no more bandages. Or band-aids, to be specific.

What happened today?

• Finally finished Lang Leav's "Love And Misadventures". So that means, I can finally write a book comment about it. It could be a lame comment, but I made it a part of my writing practice to write a comment about the books I finished reading.
• I had my hair get colored to dark brown. Yes, I know. For some, it's a lame color. But it's actually just an extra from my mom's, since she was the one who wanted to color her hair with that. A way to hide white hairs. 😝
• Rewatched "Busted!", though I only picked the episodes that I liked. I can't wait to watch its second season that will be shown on November 8. That means, I'll have to endure a month more worth of waiting.

Pretty much the same stuff from yesterday, huh? I know, the weird perks of having a boring life... or not. Anyway, it's time to say good night, now that I'm ending this entry here. I do hope my red days'  pain (dysmenorrhea) won't make it hard for me to sleep peacefully.

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #83

I guess I'm making it a real habit of not writing regularly here, huh? Or maybe that's just proves how boring my life is. Even if I've been busy posting things on social media, that doesn't mean too much, really.

Okay. So shall we list those events here again?

• I went to the grocery and the market twice today regardless of the falling rain since my mom and my sister decided to make crab roll salad and pizza, respectively. So, yeah. That has been our dinner tonight.
• Reading "Love And Misadventures" only for the reason that I really want to finish it so I could write my thoughts about it, post that thought on my blog and proceed to read the next pending reads. I truly think that because I haven't been reading properly for a long while, I couldn't proceed to finishing my pending WIPs.
• Posted a post for the second day of character Promptober so I could proceed to thinking of something to post for the third and fourth day. I need to catch up, you know.

There you have it. That's how my boring day went. But I guess it's still not bad, huh? Anyway, it's time for me to say good night. But you do know that I won't be sleeping any time soon, right? 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #82

I was trying to write in my journal as legible as my hand could handle because until now, my fingers have band-aids on them. And one particular band-aid was wrapped in between the joint. So it's really hard to write properly with that. And that is why I wasn't able to write anything in my journal yesterday.

It's the first day of October and it couldn't get any more boring — at least for me. Or maybe I just didn't spend my time as efficient as I could. It could be because of my mindset. I've been debating the whole day whether or not I should continue reading my pending reads or continue writing my pending WIPs. But nothing came up in the end.

As for this month, I decided to participate to only two IG writing-related challenges since I have an idea that it's going to be hard for me to keep up. I'm still trying to think which story should I showcase in those two challenges. Should I go with just one story for both or one story for each challenge? I'll still think about it. I only have until tomorrow, though.

I was able to post another Sentai couple one-shot, after a long while. This one was a crossover and I'll try to write another when I could.

So there you go. That's how my day went. I guess it wasn't boring as I thought it was.

Anyway, it's time to say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #81

Yup. I'm still up and I know I missed another day of writing here. Things got really busy yesterday because of food preparations for my mother's birthday celebration. Yes, it was my mother's birthday yesterday. And I got tired to even write anything when night came, so I ended up sleeping instead.

Right now, as I write this, I'm up because it's Sunday. And this day of the week, I would always had to stay up late to finish a task. So yes, I'll try my best to stay up until it's done.

Other things that happened today:

• Still watched other episodes of George To The Rescue.
• I finally found a subbed version of an episode of I Can See Your Voice S5 — the Korean version of the show, by the way. The episode I was talking about was when Sefy Francisco participated in the contest.
• Currently typing down the 44th chapter of a Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic so I could proceed to finally completing the whole story. I think it's about time.
• My first sister had actually made her own milk tea. Here in our house. I liked the taste when I had some. It's not that sweet, unlike those that I had previously. But I'm still not a lover of milk teas.

So there you go. It's a bit disappointing that I might be able to keep my streak in all of my language learning apps. But I'll keep up. For now, I'll end this entry right here.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #80

Don't make me say something that's not even going to come out as sincere as you want it to be.

So what is this sentence for? A little note to the people who wanted me to apologize. I know. It doesn't sound too good, but I don't want to utter words I couldn't even let out from my mouth. I might have appeared here with this words as a prideful person. But sorry, it's better that I don't say it.

Why am I writing this for?

It happened again. People scolding me for acting not so good and then... they brought it up again. They brought out the fact that I've been nothing but a failure to them. Jobless, dreamless... and useless to all of them. To be honest, I don't even know where my life is heading now that I've turned 28. And perhaps, the realization was the reason why the tears won't stop falling when she was scolding me earlier. I don't have any idea where I am standing at and which path I should take from that spot.

It hurts, you know? It hurts so much that I only noticed that I've somehow gone cold while doing my chores earlier. Lifeless, for the lack of a better word. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I find myself losing interest in life and living entirely. And you know where that leads, right?

Let's hope it won't actually come to that point at all. Even though those once passing thoughts jad started to enter my mind a lot more frequent because of what happened earlier, let's wish that I won't reach that edge and just jump because nothing ever goes right.

Anyway, it'll be my mother's birthday tomorrow and I don't know what will happen. But I'm truly wishing that it will proceed well for all of us. You can make it happen, right, Lord?

So now, I'll say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #78

>> Weird... I'm starting to have dreams these past few nights. And some on an afternoon nap that I don't usually get since I was busy doing something else. I don't usually dream that much — except daydreaming. I do that a lot.

>> The only reason I got to go out of the house and go to town was for me to buy two kilos of lansones for my mom who was really addicted to it. Seriously, I can't believe she could finish eating that much lansones in one sitting.

>> Most of my afternoon was spent watching episodes of a home renovation show called George To The Rescue. A lot of them had really inspiring stories — and really surprising renovation results. But I couldn't help thinking that it will suffer the same fate as that of the people that another home renovation show I've watched a long time ago. I'm not sure if the fact was right when I read it, though. But let's just hope not.

So that's how my day has been so far. And I think I'll do this kind of journal writing starting tonight.

おやすみなさい。。。😊❤️

Here's another one, this time combining two prompts that I missed.

Day 22: Two truths and a lie - Spoiler version → Which is which? I'll let the readers figure it out.

1. Ralnor finally gaining the power of the Four Colored Flames that no one in his faction had ever achieved.
2. Renna will end up unintentionally killing someone close to her because of her rage over the deaths of her family.
3. Elyon inheriting one of the five mystical blades created by the ancient Power Casters who were now figures of worship in the Cloud Dimension.

Day 23: National Bisexuality Day - any

representation in your WIP? → Now this part, I'm still trying to figure it out since, as I mentioned, I haven't reached half of the story. But I guess we'll get there.