That's one of the weird things in that dream. I could take a peek at night sky through that crack where water was leaking. And I don't mean a small amount of water pouring in. Faucet-like flow— that's how I'd describe it. I could tell that it was night time in that dream because through that crack, I could see the moon with few clouds around it. The real mystery to me was about the source of the leak and the water that flowed through that crack. But I never got to figure it out from there. All I know is that I tried to tell my family about it in that dream but it seemed like they just passed it off for some reason.
The dream I had was long. At least, I could tell that. But the only part of the dream that I remembered was that cracked ceiling. As for the rest, they all ended up blurry which made it hard for me to recall the actual topic and flow of the dream.
So going back to that "cracked ceiling with water leaking in dream" topic, I tried to look it up over the internet for possible interpretations. There was one on the website of 『My Dream Symbolism』that mentioned at least the symbolism that I needed based on the scenes I remembered from that dream.
It stated on one point that it was because the dreamer's head is full of so many thoughts and couldn't handle it all. Suppressing those thoughts became so hard that the dreamer (that's me, in this case) was starting to lose control over them. Another thing that the article stated was the place in the house that made an appearance in the dream. In my dream, the location of the crack and the leak was at the ceiling of the living room— and this room symbolizes the heart. It was this area in the house— at least in that dream— that states where the problem lies in the dreamer's life in reality.
After reading this article, I recalled the journal entry I wrote the night before. I was able to connect the meaning of my dream to that. I wrote many of my frustrations and disappointments on that journal the night before. I mean, it was a lot. Three pages of almost ranting thoughts, to be exact. Yes, all of it was about my frustrations and self-degrading moments that I couldn't even scream out or talk about to anyone. Not even to my family, as well, as they were the source of it.
So, yeah. That's some almost accurate symbolism of my dream, I must say. The article did say that I shouldn't be worried as it only meant that something positive would happen in my life and that I shouldn't think of the negative things which could hinder it.
Now that's a long entry, huh? I haven't written a dream journal in a long while, after all. And I really want to write this down and share it.
It's been a long while since I posted anything here, huh? I'm sorry. I put most of my thoughts on my journal these past months, that's why. At some point, I post things on my Instagram and in a few cases, self-degrading thoughts on Twitter. But it's only because I didn't know where to turn to anymore. Writing down those thoughts did help as a way of releasing it from me, but it's still not enough. I guess I'm asking for something more. Right now, I still have no idea what it was.
Anyway, because I used my journal as my way of releasing those negative thoughts from my mind, I ended up nearly filling the entire journal with those words. There was a post in my Instagram where I mentioned that I also reached my 100th entry, which had never happened before. I've never written that many journal entries in my life until now. Yes, even when I had my diary back in high school.
With that, I bought two notebooks that I could use as my next journal.
I do have one more blank notebook that I initially intended to use as a journal, but I decided against it after some thinking.
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Until now, I have no idea what to write here. But I was actually thinking of writing sort of letters to my future "The One". I know it's cheesy and at some point, cringey. But hey, it's a part of me. I'm already 28 and I'm still living my life like a hermit. Maybe the words I wanted to write in this notebook could help me find a way.
One day, this will become a way for that to happen...
