What time do you enjoy the most around people?

At least... when I truly want to share my excitement to people. Other than that, I'm pretty much a closed off person.

Yup, I know. Definitely boring.

But I truly enjoy being with people when I'm comfortable with them. That means I have to get to know them first before anything else. And it doesn't even happen that much.

I'm not the most sociable person you'll meet. So the only time I enjoy the most around people is when I want to hang out with them and feel comfortable and free in some sense.

At times, communicating with someone ー even with a stranger ー can make me feel that way, even though that feels a little weird.

Write a letter to your favorite internet friend.

To Sharmyn (@slightstories on Instagram),

Okay. You're the first person I thought of as soon as this prompt came out. Only because you're the first internet friend that I have. A lot of things changed in my life as soon as we met online, believe it or not. Or at least, some things about me had changed. If I'm going to be honest, I wasn't at all confident with all the stories I post online, especially in Wattpad. Until now, it still feels that way. But ever since getting to know you online, being friends with you on Wattpad and Facebook, I've started feeling that I'm on the right track when it comes to my writings. It's embarrassing to say that I can't recall the first time we've started communicating online. Nevertheless, I'm still glad that I got to know you. I'm still inclined on doing that long planned collaboration with you and if fate would actually allow it to happen, I truly wanted to meet you in person. Who knows, right?

I may not be active on Wattpad and Facebook these days (or months). But please know that I still haven't forgotten you. We might not be communicating too much right now, but realize that I'm still here. I'm currently in the midst of a "deep contemplation" on what I truly want to do with my life right now ー aside from writing, of course. I hope you realize a lot of your life purpose, too. I truly pray that for you.

Thank you for being a good friend, regardless of our geographical distance.

Your online friend,

Florence Joyce

🔅🔅🔅

Update: 9/21/20

Here are the exchange of comments (in Tagalog, of course) between me and that particular online friendafter she read this.

Describe one of the best days of your life.

You mean, besides graduating?

Having my manuscripts get approved and published.

It feels like everything fell into place after a long time of praying and waiting and wishing and wanting it to happen and all that. That's basically the main feeling.

The crying thing I did the moment they all happened still flashed in my mind as I recall them now. It was crazy. But I love the feeling of seeing something special gets fulfilled right in front of me. And I want to feel that again.

I am doing my best to relive that feeling once again. For now, the steps I'm taking are quite small. At times, I couldn't take any step at all. And yet, I aim to do more and that's what I'm going to do.

What's the best dream you can remember?

Best dream? Wow, this is going to be hard. I don't usually recall my dreams. Those that I do remember turned out to be scary and weird, for the lack of a better word. I posted about those "weird" dreams before on my blog and until now, I still can't figure out their meanings.

I would say seeing celebrities in my dreams can be considered as best for me. I rarely dream of celebrities, so yeah. I guess this is my reason to consider it as best. And by far, I've only dreamed of celebrities twice ー at least those that I can recall even after I woke up.

I've actually dreamed of Japanese actors Nakao Masaki and Tateishi Haruka actually getting married. I saw a wedding with them in it on a meadow with a big boulder, for some weird reason.

And then there's Jungkook and Jin from BTS on a different dream this time. I couldn't recall the scenario in which these two appeared, but there was an eclipse there and a wild west sort of setting there. I'm not sure why I dreamed of them with that setting, though.

Weird... but I would truly say that they are some of the best dreams I've had in a long while. And yes, these are two of the dreams that I got to record on my dream journal because I want to figure out their meanings.

Maybe in time, I will.

3 things which have made you jump for joy.

I'm going to rake my mind to actually find some definite answers for this one. Though I'm known to be someone who's easy to please (at least, most of the time), I can't remember a lot of things that would actually make me jump for joy. But I'm pretty sure there are things related to this. I just need to truly give it more thinking than I ever did before.

Three things, huh? Let's see...

⚜️I do remember getting ecstatic during the time I had my first approved manuscript. It was a dream come true for me. I even remember crying tears of joy because of that. At the time, I said, "Is this for real?" All those times I truly adored writing, crafting words to form stories, it all paid off. Of course, I knew I still have a long way to go. But I achieved one special thing. I felt joyful knowing that.

⚜️Books. Well, at the moment, I'm a book hoarder ー at least, before the quarantine started. It makes me happy being able to buy books, especially those that I like and on sale at the same time. Yes, I read them ー but only when I truly want to relax my brain from any other thoughts that bother me too much. Seeing those books on my shelf gives me a sense of calmness that, at the moment, I can't explain.

⚜️Walking? Yes, I guess I could add this here as one of the three things that made me joyful. Especially when it's windy or the weather is cool, I really love that. It brings me to a calm state just by doing that. Like I'm free, for some reason. You know, walking aimlessly and just let my feet lead the way... I love that and the process of just walking does bring me joy (even though I don't jump for joy since that would feel weird).

What's so hard about dating you?

Dating? Are you kidding me? For someone who's NBSB (no boyfriend since birth), dating is the last thing that would enter my mind. Now tell me why in the world did I get this question? I could've just groaned and throw this question away as soon as I saw it. It's a frustrating question to get and to answer on my part, to be honest. Then again, I chose this and I have to do my best to answer this. No other way. Weird as it may sound, I'll just get on with it.

I'm a person that's sort of kept to myself. Not to mention, I hide the fact that I get jealous easily, though it's not obvious. As much as possible, I'd like to keep it to myself. On my end, that's a bad thing. It happens when I'm still with my family. I have this feeling that it's going to happen to my future significant other. And it scares me in a certain level that it's going to happen for real. Another would be the feeling of being clingy. I don't know why I have that feeling. Third would be the knowledge that because I haven't dated anyone before, I might be truly clueless about what to do. And it might end up boring or completely meaningless.

As of now, I can only think of those reasons. I could come up with more, but I don't want that to affect me in any other way in the future.

The people you admire and why.

Why can't I come up with a solid answer on this one? It's kind of frustrating me, if I'm going to be honest. I know I admire a lot of people ー celebrities, even. But now that I'm thinking about it, why can't I place their names here? I don't know if I should be glad or frustrated with that thought.

Okay, let me do some thinking for a moment...

...and I'm done. Weird.

One of those people I admire would be Alden Richards.

True, he caught my attention because of his good looks first. But only when I started watching Kalyeserye that I got to know more about him and his personality. Crazy enough, even when the AlDub pairing sort of drifted away from each other, I still admire him in so many ways.

The second and possibly the last (for now) on the list would be BTS.

Wait, should I have stated it as second to eighth in the list? 😝 Sorry. But yeah, I do admire these guys even though I've only done so quite late. Not to mention, my youngest sister was the one who suggested them and their songs to me. Specifically, I've only done so this year. I couldn't list all the reasons why I admire these guys, but they gave me a lot of inspiration. One day, I'd do what I can to actually meet them. Who knows? We'll see.

I could've put myself in the list. But at the moment, I'm in the process of finding myself. Discovering more about the things that I'm capable of doing and the traits that I didn't know I have. Probably soon...

Describe your happiest days in childhood.

I know this is going to be sad, but I can only remember a few things about my childhood. Not because I'm already an adult ー a regressing adult, I might add. But it's more of the reason that I sort of shove them at the back of my mind because of all that had happened. Or maybe because I kept on feeling that most of them were not worth remembering. I really don't know. It's sad, now that I'm stating it here this way.

But I do remember climbing trees and I had a lot of fun doing that. Even though my mom would tease me a monkey because of that, it was fine by me. It's because climbing trees, at the time, made me feel free for some reason. I love climbing trees. I love seeing the views from the trees that I would climb up. It's been a long time since I last climbed trees. I wonder if, as an adult, I could do that again. Maybe one day, with the person that I would end up loving in my life. I have a feeling it's going to be fun. Who knows, right?

A letter of your choice. (My Future Sunrise)

Dear future Sunrise (a.k.a soulmate),

Obviously, I haven't met you yet. I guess it's because we're far from each other. We're isolated from one another. And even in this quarantine time/period of isolation that the world is going through, we're still determined to find each other. I don't know when or how or if it will even happen. But even if I do feel despair at times and thoughts of letting things stay this way occur in my mind more often than usual, I don't want to give up. I'm still here dreaming, imagining, and praying that I would find you. Without a doubt, it's happening. I have to believe in that.

For now, it's going to be hard for both of us. This period of isolation and our limiting beliefs is putting us through in feeling lonelier and yearning for something missing in our lives more than ever. The right thing we can do for each other right now is believe we'll get through this. Let's have faith that we can find our way to each other, no matter what happens. It can happen, as long as we both believe.

Still waiting for you,
Florence Joyce

What have you learned about yourself recently?

I couldn’t help heaving a sigh as I found this question on Instagram. But this is something that, I think, I have to answer as my way of confronting myself in some ways.

This is what I’ve learned ー time should never be held accountable for the things that I’ve never done in my life.

They were right. We all have the same 24 hours a day to work with, to think things through, to use it to do what we can to take steps in fulfilling our dreams. But I kept on blaming the lack of time for the things I’ve never done in a day.

Even if I do have the time, I kept on doing other things to distract me more and kept my attention away from what I have to do for the day. The more it happens, the more I’m starting to hate myself for that. I don’t want that, so I’m doing my best to remove that thought. I’ve had enough of overthinking that leads to self-loathing, at times.

Time is just there, continuously moving forward. The only problem I have is the drive to force myself to do it. And at the time, I’m struggling to find that drive in me. I have to do something about this.

If you could do it again, would you meet them again for the first time, or would you walk away?

For this question… If I’m going to be honest, I really don’t know how to answer this. Only because I don’t know who to think about in order for me to provide at least a decent answer. But this question caught my attention as soon as I saw this on Instagram. And as I’m writing here, now only one person enters my mind.

If I do have such ability or given such a chance, as much as my heart disagrees now, I’d say that I’m choosing to walk away. Sure, he occupies a big part of my heart until now. He was the reason why I wrote “A Love Worth An Eternity” in the first place. He’s been a big part of my writing inspiration. But I guess I’ve held on to him too much that I couldn’t free my heart completely from the shadows of the lighthearted and beautiful memories we shared that one year.

Fourteen years had passed already, and yet the feelings that I had for him back then had somehow created a standard of some sort. I don’t want to hold on to this anymore. That’s the reason why I would choose to walk away. If I could do it again, I’d ignore him. I’d ignore him, or at least do something to guard my heart from him.

Maybe that way, I have found the person that I’m meant to be with without comparison to whatever had happened in the past…

 

Where do you want to be one year from now?

If I'm going to be honest, I can't see myself as someone successful just yet in one year. But I want to realize within the span of one year of the direction my life is taking. I mean, a solidified realization that this ー whatever it is, for real ー is the path that I'm taking from here on out with confidence, enthusiasm, and conviction. Right now, I lack all three and it frustrates me in so many ways.

One year from now, on May 17, 2021, I'd like to see myself as someone truly sure of the path that I have to take and the passion that I have to pursue. It's crazy feeling lost for a long time now. I'd truly like to achieve a lot more than I have ever achieved before in my life, whether it's for writing or other talents that I didn't know I have and could possibly be used for me to have satisfaction and financial freedom. I'm going to do what I can to achieve more in my passion, meet many people through my passion, and love myself more because of my passion. I have this feeling that I still have some innate talent that I haven't put into use at all. One year from now, I'd like to discover those hidden talents that I have.

 

About "Eight Thorned Blades" Series Concept (or at least a glimpse of the concept)

I ended up creating another version of the covers for the Eight Thorned Blades series. This time, instead of featuring several characters, I decided to featuring the key female characters in each book.

⚜️So as you know (or at least I assume that you know), the first book The Last Sky Of The Earth was mainly focused on Kourin Shinomiya (with Morita Suzuka used as a visual inspiration), the surviving princess and current leader of the Shinomiya clan. Or basically, the life and battle that she and the rest of her retainers had to deal with after the Shinomiya mansion ambush in order to end a five-decade-old war between the four clans of the Shrouded Flowers and of the remaining members of the Dark Rose Agency.
⚜️The second book The Last Sword Of The Cross was about the discovery of the forgotten clan first mentioned in TLSOTE. Though Kourin and the rest will still make appearances, the story will basically focus on a character named Akari Ayu (with Konno Ayaka used as a visual inspiration) who was, according to some stories, affiliated with the person needed to fulfill the role of "Schwertkreuz".
⚜️As for the third book The Last Blade Of The Moon, the people here were most likely related to the clan featured on the second book. In this story, the focus and the point of view to be featured here belongs to a character named Konami Iso (with Okubo Sakurako used as a visual inspiration) that has an obvious association with the 20 Iris Blades.
⚜️For the final book The Last Crown Of The Guardians, it appears to be a story independent from the rest if one will base it on the first three books of the series. But the three clans featured here actually had a deeper connection to the five clans introduced in the first three books. The story will be mostly told in the perception of a character named Shiiko Kaiguu (with Yano Yuuka used as a visual inspiration), an active member of one of the three clans under "Triad Guardians". But it seems that there was more about her that what she appears to be to everyone.

Now... let's see if it'll take me another 4-5 years before I finish writing them all. 😁✌️😁✌️

My Passion Projects In Writing

So since posting my thoughts on Instagram about Encantadia being my inspiration to write in fantasy genre and about @animefics569's Shining Star being her passion project, I recalled the stories I've written since college that I would consider my passion project. But I only recalled three—all of which remained unfinished since real life interfered.

⚜️RAINBOW KNIGHTS was actually formed when I was watching Pretear, Magic Knights Rayearth, Wedding Peach, Sailor Moon (heavily inspired to this), Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Cosmopolitan Prayers, & Cardcaptor Sakura. Yes, all magical girl/mahou shoujo themed animes that I've watched since I was a child. Oh, right. I should also add the comics I've read titled W.I.T.C.H. I haven't actually mentioned even on my blog but this story was actually one of the basis of my MMORPG conceptualization which was my project in college. I was able to write this story until the third Rainbow Knight was awakened. But I lost the handwritten copy of the story, so I wasn't able to continue writing this.

⚜️A LOVE WORTH AN ETERNITY was the longer (& possibly more romantic) version of two Filipino romance stories I wrote when I was in college titled "Till Beyond Eternity" and "I'll Hold On To You". And yes, the story was something I ended up writing as I was thinking of my unrequited first love when I was in high school. So this story was one of those I really consider to be the closest to my heart.

⚜️FLOWER HEARTS CHRONICLES wasn't really the title of this story largely inspired by my favorite TV "fantaserye" (fantasy series) titled "Encantadia". Now that I recalled it, it doesn't even have a proper title—just the story & the plot. In fact, I recalled that I wrote this story in narrative form—just narration, no dialogues at all. For real. I decided to revive this story after watching episodes of Encantadia (both the 2005 & the 2016 versions) on Youtube. This time, the characters finally have visual inspirations. The big difference of this story from the original version, however, is that the names of the characters & the places will be East Asian-inspired, mainly Japanese & slightly Korean & Chinese.