Your favorite podcasts.

Honestly, I don't listen to that many podcasts only because I don't know where to look for some, especially those that would catch my interest. If my memory serves me right, the only podcasts I ever listened to since I learned of its existence (sorry for living under the rock for a long time before finding out about podcasts) were those from Thought Catalog and of #RomanceClass Podcast. Both can be found on Youtube, by the way. Well, I only got to listen to the first season of the latter one. I definitely love listening to these two so I guess I could say these are my favorites. Maybe I'll add others once I got the chance to listen to a few more.

The lyrics which moves you most are...

I don't know why, but I'm deciding to write about 7-10 lyrics that answers this prompt. I listen to a lot of songs -- most of which were ballads -- and there are indeed a lot of those lyrics that move or affect me a lot. I'm going to write here the lyrics and a few (possibly short) explanation as why these lyrics would move me.

List 10 things you hope to be remembered for.

Honestly speaking, I still have no idea how to answer this one. But I'd like to try doing so.

1. A person who's creative and loves what I do.

2. A person who could read through another person's heart (though this is something I'd like to acquire ― like an empath of some sort)

3. Someone who never gave up on writing to reach to people.

4. Someone who'd do anything (good things) for the sake of the one I love.

5. Always there to rely on, not just for errands and chores.

6. Someone whose words can truly touch people's hearts, regardless of the language barrier.

7. A person who would do my best in a subtle way.

8. A person who people would love so much and is willing to help to the best of my abilities.

9. Someone who loves eating marshmallows as a way to de-stress.

10. A hopeless romantic person, and still someone logical enough about giving out the love that's meant for the person I choose to be with.

I know that some of my answers here might not make any sense. But this is me ― at least for now. And this is how I think at the moment. It might make sense to me now and would reflect my and my way of thinking. But it might not be the same in the next coming days or years. The pandemic changed my way of thinking drastically ― at least, a little drastic for my taste. So I guess it also affected how my thoughts flowed at this point.

Anyway, we'll still see what would happen in the near future, right? And it would also depend on my choices today.

What is one song that resonates with you?

It would be the English version of Ai's Japanese song titled "Story".

I already heard the Japanese version first, but it didn't draw me to the song as much as the English version did. Setting the language reasons aside, it's probably because the English version was used in the movie "Big Hero 6". I love that movie. And I've always imagined a scene in my head in which the people I care about would be singing this to me as a way to thank me for so many things that I'd do and will continue doing to help them and guide them in their lives. 

One other reason why I love this song and why it resonates with me is that maybe (just maybe) I'm still waiting for someone to actually help me see what I can do and what I can become with no prejudices and judgment. A person who could possibly act as a major catalyst or something for my life to be set in motion (finally).

I don't know why I wanted that, though. But it's something that's been in my mind for quite a long time now since I heard that song.

3 favorite quotes about life.

These are the quotes that I recall telling to myself (or at least trying to live by) since high school days. And seriously, that was a long time ago.

1. "You never fail until you stop trying." ― Albert Einstein

2. "It is never too late to be what you might have been." ― George Eliot

3. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." ― Babe Ruth

They're pretty short, but they're the ones that really got stuck to me all these years. I'm still doing what I can to actually live by these quotes, though.

Your favorite books.

I think I'm going to list 10 here, but not in any particular order. Okay? I'd rather not rank the books I've been reading and going to my list of favorites.

📖 "Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets" by J.K. Rowling (English)

📖 "Nights In Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks (English)

📖 "39 Clues # 9: Storm Warning" by Linda Sue Park (English)

📖 "The Sign Of The Twisted Candle (Nancy Drew # 9)" by Carolyn Keene (English)

📖 "A Ring Of Endless Light" by Madeleine L'Engle (English)

📖 "Para Sa Hopeless Romantic" by Marcelo Santos III (Filipino)

📖 "Made In Heaven" by Louise Dane (Filipino)

📖 "My Mischievious Star" by Maricar Dizon (Filipino)

📖 "Unwritten Letters To You" by T.B. LaBerge (English)

📖 "Bucket List Of Love" by C.P. Santi (English)

Your favorite songs.

I have lots, but I'm going to list here 6 in each language that I have on my playlist.

English:

🎵"The Call" by Celtic Woman

🎵"In Another Lifetime" by Gary Valenciano

🎵"Come What May" by Air Supply

🎵"If You Met Me First" by Eric Ethridge

🎵"When God Made You" by Newsong and Natalie Grant

🎵"Forevermore" by Side A

xxxxxx

Filipino:

🎵"Hanggang May Kailanman" by Carol Banawa

🎵"Panunumpa" by Carol Banawa

🎵"Hanggang Sa Huli" by SB19

🎵"Sana" by Shamrock

🎵"Sobra Kitang Mahal" by Miguel Aguila

🎵"Kung Hindi Ikaw" by James Wright

xxxxxx

Chinese:

🎵"Season Of Fireworks" by F4

🎵"One Persistent Thought" by Hu Ge and Alan Dawa Dolma

🎵"Just Lose It (Hurts So Much)" by Pets Tseng

🎵"Back In The Days" by BY2

🎵"Half Of Me" by Jiro Wang

🎵"My Love For You Won't Change" by Bii

xxxxxx

Japanese:

🎵"Megumi No Ame" by Alan Dawa Dolma

🎵"Kimi No Zutto" by YuYu

🎵"Kiseki ~Mirai He" by Tiara (originally by GREEEEN)

🎵"Your Best Friend" by Kuraki Mai

🎵"Crystal Snow" by BTS

🎵"Only One (Ballad Version)" by Fujita Maiko

xxxxxx

Korean:

🎵"Moonlight Drawn By Clouds" by Gummy

🎵"This Love" by Davichi

🎵"Only You" by 4Men

🎵"Spring Day" by BTS

🎵"Miracles Of December" by EXO

🎵"Don't Forget Me" by Bae Suzy

xxxxxx

Thai:

🎵"A Song Khai (Countless/Infinite/Inumerable)" by Ying Thitikarn

🎵"Peua Tur (For You)" by Gun Napat

🎵"Khon Bap Nai (What Kind Of Person?)" by Mix Sahaphap

🎵"Yom Jum Non Fah Din (Surrender To Heaven And Earth)" by Ying Thitikarn

🎵"Neung Kum Tee Lon Jai (One Word That's Overflowing From My Heart)" by Pijika

🎵"Saai Dtaa Go Hok Mai Bpen (Eyes Can't Lie)" by Earth Pirapat

6 drink/beverages I love (give explanation for each)

1. Coffee ― I guess you could say this is a night owl/writer's best friend? Hahaha! But honestly, this will always be my favorite. Except the strong ones, only when I truly need it.

2. Milk ― I only drink this when I badly needed something to make me sleep soundly. It's better this than resort to using sleeping pills or something.

3. Milo/Chocolate drink ― Possibly my second favorite after coffee, only because I've loved chocolate. At least the slightly sweet ones. 😄

4. Cucumber lemonade ― This juice drink that started to become a trend a few years back was a little milder and sweeter than lemonade. So I guess this is one reason why I included it in this list.

5. Pineapple juice ― My go-to Vitamin C drink when I don't want lemonade or any other citrus-y drinks. I guess you could say that this is my favorite juice drink.

6. Cookies and cream milk tea ― I've only started loving this recently, and only when I have the money to buy one. Then again, that doesn't happen often.

This list just asked for 6, which I considered a good thing, honestly. I don't drink a lot of stuff, actually. Not a alcohol drinker, as well. I'm the only one in my family who's not. At this point, I had a feeling people would have a glimpse of how boring I could be. Or not.

Describe a childhood nightmare you can't forget.

There's not much to describe, to be honest, as I don't recall much of my dreams, let alone my nightmares when I was a child. But I do recall falling a lot in my dreams, causing me to (possibly) experience astral projection at some point and sleep paralysis, as well.

The one nightmare that scared me the most when I was a kid that gave me sleep paralysis was about the dark area that I was in and I don't know where to go. I had the urge to run, but I couldn't. I knew it was a dream, but I couldn't get out of it. It just froze me and I had the hard time to breathe. Until now, anything that would make me experience sleep paralysis still gave me the chills and that slight fear.

If you are to date a celebrity, who will that be?

The first person that came to mind the moment I picked this prompt up was the Thai actor, Earth Pirapat. Probably because I was watching the series "A Tale Of Thousand Stars" that made me think of him almost immediately as the answer to this question. I'm not going to lie, he is handsome, even though he is 2 years, 5 months, and 24 days younger than me. He has a sort of childish charms that I can't explain at this point, but I truly adore. Too bad we live in two different countries. 😜

Even if it's just for one day, I'd really love it for that to happen at some point in my life. That would be wonderful. 💕

10 games I love (give explanation for each).

If I'm going to be honest, I don't really play games a lot -- whether it would be an indoor game or even outdoor ones. But even with that, there were those online ones that I've paid attention to. At least, from time to time. I'll try to list down those that I can remember while waiting for the laundry in the washing machine to finish.

1. Badminton -- I may have said that I'm bad at playing outdoor games, but there were those that I ended up liking at some point. This is one of them. I guess this is one outdoor game that I enjoyed somehow.

2. Snakes & Ladder -- Probably my favorite board game when I was younger. My sisters and I would frequently play this game before. One of the games that gave us some bonding moments.

3. Tetris -- Most of the time, I hated this. But that was before I started playing it, thanks to my sister. I can't recall the name of the device where I would play this before, but I did enjoy playing this back then.

4. Crystal Saga -- Possibly the only MMORPG that I played as part of my research for a game project when I was in college. I played it so that I could have a gist of how it actually worked, and I did enjoy playing it, if I'm going to be honest. Made me able to think of a story line, as well.

5. A3! (Act! Addict! Actors!) -- The first actor training game I've played and couldn't get enough playing had not my phone got lost, and now the TelPad stumbled on some problems.

6. Rental Boyfriends -- Possibly the first otome game I've ever played and still loved playing until now.

7. Cybird Games (Ikemen Series) -- I couldn't exactly pick just one of the list of games that this otome series have, so I decided to do it like it. Yes, they're still otome games, but these were the ones I loved playing.

8. Hidden Objects -- This is a generalized term I used for all the games I played that has this theme. I just love playing this kind of game because they've served as my stress reliever before.

9. Word Hunt and Wordscape -- I think these two actually fall in the same category. They did help filling up my word bank, believe it or not. And for me, that's quite essential.

10. Jackstones -- Though the last time I played this was way back elementary days, I remembered enjoying this even if I was playing it alone.

50 Random Facts About Me

This was actually an old list of this topic that I found while going through some old notes that I have when I was in college. I was looking for old story drafts that I think I can use (or at least, I intend to) to write something new under a different pseudonym besides dreamcoloredgift on Wattpad. I'm also debating whether or not I should create a new Wattpad account just for that new pseudonym.

Anyway, here's the list that I have about me. I might put up a part two of this one since a lot had happened since the last time I wrote this list. Let's go! 😄✌️

10 famous lines from books/movies I love (give explanation for each)

I guess it would do me better if I start doing this again. But hey, I want to fill this journal with more sensible ー if not, a little deeper ー topics to write about. Anything to divert my mind just a little bit about that scary (at least scarily accurate on my part) prediction about a certain person that resonated with me in a lot of ways. Maybe with this, I can do something to clear my mind a bit.

Here goes:

What character traits do you need to work on?

Setting my mind onto something and actually doing it. Over the years, this is something I actually struggled with. I know what I want to do. The main problem is the determination to put that intention into action. Why can't I do things the way I'd do them back then, when I was still in high school and college? What is it with adulthood that changed my determination to that of a slowly dissipating flame? Honestly, I can't help hating myself for that. Even though I know that it's a bad idea to hate myself for something that I'm slowly losing, I just couldn't stop. I badly intend to fight for it. But each time I try, there's a part of my mind that would just put me down on my knees and slowly lose hope.

I really need to put a stop to these negativity, before it could truly destroy me. I intend to seek the determination that would truly propel me to fight and reach for my true dreams.

🌺 Florence Joyce 🌺

Do you have any trauma that you never heal from?

This is s a little hard to think about for me. I do recall getting spanked (or beaten should be the right word) by my paternal grandmother when I was a kid. But I got over it. I think the one I'd consider the trauma that I couldn't get myself out of would be my parents' separation and getting rejected by the guy I liked, complete with him tearing the love letter I wrote for him.

Both events had put me recently (or should I say, for a long time) in a place in which I couldn't even put myself out there to find the person I'm meant to be with and love in the long run. In me, there was a voice nagging that I'm not enough to even be with anyone at all. That I'm not meant for someone to love unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

It was around 2015 when my parents finally called it quits because it was hopeless for any of them to settle their differences. Not only that, it really hurts me so much for my father to not even support me in my writing endeavors. It scared me to an extent that I would meet a guy who wouldn't dare support my dreams and my journey to find the better version of myself ー the one I should've done a long time ago.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

Last time you wanted to say something but didn't, why?

The only reason I could think of as to why I didn't say anything was because I was anxious of the possible results. It was as if my mind had already conjured the results long before they even happened. And most of the time, I saw negative results floating in my mind. A lot of negative words would echo in my mind, as well, no matter what I do to prevent them from completely invading it. And I guess you could add the fact that I was afraid of, basically, everything about that person. No matter how nice or how down-toned I say the words, that person wouldn't let it go. Or at least, won't let the faults from the past go.

I know, at this point, my explanation doesn't make any sense. But to simply put, I still couldn't get over or get pass through whatever fear was lingering in me. And it has been the main reason why I regret not saying the things that I needed to say, words that could've made someone stay in my life.

🌺 Florence Joyce 🌺

How is it for you to forgive those who have caused you pain?

It's not an easy thing to do, honestly speaking. They did put a scar in my heart that, I felt, even time couldn't heal. Then again, I realized that if I keep thinking about it in such an ill manner and let it affect me, then yes. Time wouldn't let it heal.

Forgiving may not be easy for me. But as I grow up, refusal to give forgiveness to those people who made me feel this pain is what's stopping me from truly growing.

Forgiving is not easy, but I realized that it's a must if I truly intend to do more in my life. Forgiving is, perhaps, one of the most important ways for me to discover what I should have a long time ago.

I still couldn't figure out a way to forgive those people, even if they were only a few. But I know I have to do so. But the most important person I should forgive is my loathing and ever doubtful self. Forgiving myself for all the mistakes and wrong choices I ever did in my life has proven itself to be the hardest of all. I made the wrong turn in my life, I know. And I have acknowledged that for a long time now. Yet even with that acknowledgement, how come I'm still stuck in this life? The self-blaming came in soon after that, and it's seriously making me crazy.

So, yeah. I guess the biggest challenge for me at the moment is to forgive myself that was left destroyed for all that I did and finally learn to start over and live a brand new life far from all that had happened in the past.

Fighting!

🌺 Florence Joyce 🌺

Last time you were put in the center of spotlight, what happened then?

I was nervous as heck. I'm pretty sure that was what happened. But I guess I'm quite good at not showing it. I tried to be composed and calm about it. But if I'm going to be honest, it was nerve wrecking inside that I wasn't even sure if I was doing the right thing or not. Facing a lot of people on stage or just in front of them would always make me feel nauseous. It is indeed scary. But each time, I'm doing my best to fight it down so it won't distract me or make me stop doing what I was supposed to do.

After all that, I would recount the feelings while I'm alone. Make me retrace the things I did and those that I shouldn't have done. It's not all the time that one should remain in the audience, hidden by the darkness, acting like a shadow. At some point, I did realize that being put in the center of the spotlight would let you experience new things. Good or bad, what matters is that you learned something from it. At least, I did learn something from all those times I stood in front of so many people and do something. It was a crazy feeling, but I did realize that out of all the stages and audiences I stood up on and faced, respectively, one thing I have to do is to be the brave person I've always aimed to be.

The last time I was put in the center of the spotlight, a different, braver me appeared. And I'd love it if I can be that person once again ー for a long time.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

What does success mean to you?

Honestly, this pageant-like question I'm getting as a journal prompt of the day is enough to wreck my brain as I rake answers for it. In this case, I think I'll answer it in a way that I envision it in my life's current state.

For me, success can be equal to satisfaction. Regardless of what I should do to achieve this (in a good way, of course) being satisfied and fulfilled with all I have achieved is one means of success. It could be a fulfilling career, having amazing and supportive friends, happy family of my own (if ever I'd be able to have one), recognition for all the hard work I've done over the years... There are a lot of things that can define success for me.

Even with all of that, success for me would be something that can truly inspire someone or somebody to strive harder, live fuller, and believe earnestly that life still has its rainbows and gold pots at the end of the hard journey. Success for me is something I want to use to stop depressed people from resorting to suicide as an escape to the world's harsh realities. Over the years, I've been affected by any news related to suicide. I couldn't help wondering what could I have done to help that person live his life again and overcome that depressed state.

I want success (my success) as a way to inspire them to live truly.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

5 Unforgettable Moments

Man, I guess I really need to rake my mind about this. I mean, I do recall some. But I'm a little unsure if I could actually recall 5. They should be unforgettable, but events in my life made me unable to let them remain in my mind for longer than I needed to.

Anyway, here we go:

1. When "Charming A Silent Heart" was finally approved for publishing. This is, in fact, my very first approved manuscript ever since I ventured into the writing and publishing world.
2. When "Mirui's Hyacinth: Smile At Me" was approved on PHR for the first time with no revision at all. And yes, I even cried when this happened.
3. When we went to Ilocos Sur (specifically Vigan) for the first time. Regardless of the hot weather, I got to enjoy it.
4. When one of the Japanese actors (Minami Keisuke) I followed on Instagram had actually liked not just one, but two of my posts. It was around 2017 when Kyuranger was still airing.
5. When I won 2 books on a book giveaway for the first time. I mean, I don't usually win anything, so this is unforgettable to me.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸