Sunday, July 19, 2020

Things you worried about in the past that never happened.

Let's see.

Though if I'm going to be honest, I can't recall anything that goes with this. Or maybe I just couldn't remember since it happened a long time ago? As a kid, I don't recall having too much worries. When I was a teenager, the only thing that worried me was about my grades, my crush not noticing me, and maybe even bullies.

Out of those things, however, I guess the one thing that I could use as an answer to this prompt could be something silly to others, but something I'd consider a big deal to a self-proclaimed (and obvious) wallflower like me. It's about... having no one to actually have feelings for me or even just having a crush on me. It was sad enough that no one would even pay that much attention to someone simple like me. Having sisters who many have always considered to be prettier and attention-catcher (and smarter) than I am doesn't really gives me the boost in my self-esteem and self-confidence over the years. So having someone to consider me as much more than a classmate or a friend is already a miracle to me.

But a certain story from high school that I didn't know existing had changed my perception on that. There was someone who actually thought of me as such. And yet, for some reason, I felt conflicted knowing that. I was happy, I was sad, I was regretful, I blamed myself at some point for not noticing, and I felt relieved.

Yes, it was weird for me to feel that way. But at some point, it did change my life ー even just a little.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

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