i'll hold on to you 78 - unexpected call

[Brent]

Huminga ako ng malalim as soon as I sat on the edge of the bed. Kararating ko lang galing sa Oceanside at nag-enroll kasama sina Mayu at Relaina. Well, kami lang pala ni Relaina dahil nagkaroon na ng sariling mundo sina Mayu at Neilson pagkakita nila sa isa’t-isa.

Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na inabisuhan ako ni Relaina sa plano nitong pagpapalit ng kurso. Kung tutuusin, hindi naman na nito kailangang gawin iyon. But she still mentioned it to me. Kung alam lang nito kung gaano kaimportante sa akin iyon. She never excluded me and kept it a secret from me.

Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip na baguhin ang ilan sa mga schedule ko para kahit papaano ay makasama ko pa rin si Relaina sa ibang oras. Lalo na sa mga minor subjects at vacant periods. Of course, it made me happy na kahit papaano ay umaayon sa akin ang tadhana.

But I had another motive kung bakit ko naisipang gawin iyon. I had to make sure that Relaina would be okay. And most of all, out of danger.

What did you do this week that moved you closer to reaching your goals?

I've only taken a small step, and honestly, it's still not enough for me. Sure, it's still a step. But I wasn't satisfied with it. I kept on having procrastination moments that makes it hard for me to stop. I do feel ashamed of such actions and the results that came because of that. But for some weird reason, I still keep at it. Keep on dreaming about that particular scenario. Keep on visualizing it. Is it a bad idea that I end up procrastinating because of doing so?

Anyway, I still write. But at some point, I wasn't writing fiction. I kept on writing essays, my thoughts on the quotes I made up and some song lyrics that caught my attention. Sure, most of them were like futuristic, dream-like and wishful, in some sense. But they all hold some of the feelings and wishes I kept over time, especially with regards to love that I truly desire to experience. And yet, I haven't been going out much or even interacting that much for something to actually happen.

But maybe... those words I've been posting, those stories I've been sharing online, can provide a way -- whether unexpectedly or intentionally -- for a miracle like that to happen. Writing those words may, in fact, become a pathway to let me reach one of my goals.

🌺 Florence Joyce 🌺

 

i'll hold on to you 77 - enrollment plans

[Relaina]

“So ano ang pag-uusapan natin?” agad na tanong sa akin ni Brent nang marating namin ang puno ng mangga na may kalayuan sa CEA department.

In other words, ang paboritong tambayan ko. At… ang lugar kung ako hinalikan ni Brent for the second time noong gabi ng Christmas Ball.

Of all places naman, bakit dito ako naisipang dalhin ng lalaking ito? “Nang-aasar ka lang talaga, ‘no?”

“Laine, this is the only place I know na hindi tayo masusundan ng mga babaeng gusto ka nang sugurin kanina nang hilain ko ang kamay mo para makaalis tayo roon.”

i'll hold on to you 76 - change of plans

[Relaina]

Natapos na ang summer vacation. Well, technically, may ilang linggo pa ang natitira bago mag-umpisa ang bagong semester sa Oceanside. Natural, umpisa na ng enrollment period sa ganitong panahon. Iniisip ko kung magpapalit ba ako ng kursong kukunin this semester.

Pero siyempre, kung gagawin ko iyon, ibig sabihin lang ay hindi na magtutugma ang mga schedules namin ni Brent. May palagay akong mag-i-stay si Mayu sa Architecture dahil sa tatay nito at pati na rin kay Neilson. But I had a feeling na may posibilidad na magpalit ng kurso si Neilson, tulad ko. At least, iyon ay kung ibabase ko sa minsang napag-usapan namin noon ng fraternal twin brother ni Brent.

Nasabi ko na ito sa mga magulang ko may isang linggo na ang nakakaraan. Wala naman daw kaso sa kanila na magpalit ako ng kurso dahil alam naman daw nila na temporary option ko lang ang Architecture nang maisipan kong kunin ang kursong iyon. But when they learned that I was thinking of studying Journalism, bigla silang natahimik. Doon ako nagtaka.

“Grabe din ang Kuya Evon mo, ‘no? Siya pa talaga ang nag-decide na paaralin ka sa kursong ‘yan kung talagang maisipan mong mag-switch ng kurso,” komento ni Mayu na pumutol sa pag-iisip ko.

i'll hold on to you 75 - in revealing the reason

[Relaina]

Things between us proceeded well after that. Or at least, iyon ang naiisip kong nangyayari sa pagitan namin ni Brent. Hindi ko na siya tinanong pa tungkol sa panaginip nito. At hindi naman na ito kumikilos na para bang malalim ang iniisip nito at wala sa sarili. Then again, looks and sometimes actions could be deceiving. Kaya hindi pa rin nawawala sa akin na obserbahan ito kapag may oras ako.

Of course, I had to make sure he didn’t notice me observing him. Gagamitin kasi nito iyon na pang-asar at pangtukso sa akin. Marunong naman akong gumanti ng sagot dito kapag nalaman nga nito iyon. Pero masakit sa ulo ang mag-isip ng isasagot kung minsan.

Kaya mas mabuti pang gawin ko na lang na discreet ang ginagawa kong pag-obserba sa lalaking iyon.

“Wala ka na naman sa sarili mo.”

Since the angel-themed story I submitted a long time ago was finally approved (late news, sorry), I ended up actually expanding the story of the Angel Knights mentioned in that story into a series. Yes, I know I'm putting more pressure on myself by adding another series to write. But I don't want to lose the idea just yet. Well, from the submitted story, Aithen and Neriah had made an appearance and both were introduced as Maxiel's friends. But there were other Angel Knights, as well, who were close to Maxiel and were very dedicated to their duty as the Angel Knights on Earth.

After A Celebration Comes This...

Okay. This just came as a bit of a shock for me. I only learned the news due to a post of a Facebook friend. But December 1st? Seriously? That early? Why is that? I maybe complaining nonsense here, but it's still unfair. She was still young to leave this world.

I've always wondered why Mana left the later parts of Ryusoulger when it was still airing. Sure, I knew there were issues (not bad ones, I hoped at the time). But never did it come to me that it was because of an illness. Though I'm curious as to what illness had exactly contributed to her death, I'm quite sure the pandemic had nothing to do with it. Or maybe that's just me thinking. Who knows what really happened. It's quite admirable that she still did her best in her career even though she was dealing with such predicament.

Even through this, I still want to extend my condolences to her friends and family. I know many people loved her so much.

I know I shouldn't be talking about this here. But since I made her one of my visual inspirations in a planned fantasy story that I have inspired by an old story I wrote a long time ago based on Encantadia, because of this news, I intend to change her as a visual inspiration. I tend to do this as a sign of respect, similar to what I've already done before when an actor/actress died or left the entertainment industry. This is going to be the fifth time I'm doing this.

Wherever you are, 金城茉奈さん, I hope you're happy and in a better place now. No more sufferings. 😣😭⤵︎

【personal thoughts】생일 축하 합니다, 김석진씨!

This will be the first for me. At least on the part of greeting a Korean celebrity on his/her birthday on any of my social media accounts, let alone my blog. But as they say, there's a first time for everything. So here I am.

Happy birthday to my BTS bias, Kim Seokjin!

I know, I'm not much of a fan of K-Pop. But I do listen to some of their songs, and it was because of my youngest sister who introduced this group to me. Jin was the very first that I noticed among the member, so I guess you could say he stood out a lot for me. Funny thing, though, I only noticed that Jin and my sister Des were born on the same month and year ー just different dates. Knowing that, it would definitely be easier for me to recall his birthday. 😁✨

I hope you have a great birthday today, in spite of the pandemic. Do take care of yourself. And I'm pretty sure you haven't shown at least majority of your true self to other people. But the are people who still cares for you, so don't lose hopeand keep having faith in life. I know you won't be able to read this. Even with that knowledge, please know that a lot of people loves you, and not your family, friends, and ARMY. Thank you for being born in this world and doing your best to become an inspiration to many.

Along with this celebration, this day happens to be another first time for us. This is the first time in (I guess) five years that we have  Christmas decorations in our house. I don't want to delve deeper into the reason as to why we didn't put up decorations in that long. But some of those reasons had something to do with growing up and also my parents' separation back then.

Things had changed over time, I guess. And I'm glad that these changes are happening even with the current world situation. 😌💗

【personal thoughts】お誕生日おめでとうございます、尾碕真花さん!

Okay. I know I haven't done something like this in quite a long while. But only because I usually ran out of things to type here whenever I would try to greet someone when it was their birthday, especially if it is a celebrity. I intend to change that, though. So I'm starting today, during the birthday of Asuna/Ryusoul Pink's actress, Osaki Ichika.

I really like her character in Ryusoulger, prompting me to follow her both in Instagram and Twitter. I even turned on the notifications for her posts.

This might not be much, but I do hope you have a great day today. You might not understand what I'm writing here. But know that I like you as an actress and I can see that you're doing your best in your chosen career. I have faith that you can do a lot more, as long as you do your best. Thank you for protraying Asuna and becoming one of the actresses that I follow on social media. Here's me, wishing you a happy birthday once again and that you have a wonderful time on your special day, regardless of the pandemic still raging about.

お誕生日おめでとうございます！ 👑✨🎂🎈🎁🎉