"DEAD END... again." Napakamot ng ulo si Seiichi nang maupo siya sa isang bench na napansin niya ilang hakbang lang mula sa kinatatayuan niya. Seryoso lang, ha? Bakit ba laging palpak ang kinahihinatnan ng paghahanap niya?
But as if Seiichi could actually do something about it. Para nga sa iilan na nakakaalam ng totoong plano niya, it was called absurdity. Siguro nga. But he couldn't really ignore the nagging feeling that something about... everything was totally wrong. Hindi niya alam kung bakit pero ang mas nakapagtataka, handa siyang ibuhos ang lahat para sa pakiramdam na iyon.
It was as if he was asking for the greatest miracle, and Seiichi grudgingly admitted that.
Perhaps.
Baka nga may milagro talaga na nangyari nang gabing iyon. Maybe the miracle that Seiichi wanted had already happened and he just missed it.
Pero sa totoo lang, hindi na alam ni Seiichi ang gagawin. He doesn't even know where to go next or what to do after another failure. His heart sank thinking that another failure would be waiting ahead of him. Seriously, hindi na yata niya kakayanin iyon.
The 21-year-old man ― though Seiichi still considered himself as a teenage boy who had lost himself into the memories he regarded too special from a long time ago ― pulled out something from his inner jacket pocket. He smiled wistfully as soon as he saw it. Sino ba naman ang mag-aakala na buhay pa rin sa isipan niya ang mga alaalang kakabit ng limang taong litrato na hawak niya?
Seriously, no one would ― at least that's what Seiichi would normally think. He looked at the photo of him and a Japanese girl he once and still held close to his heart. Both of them were smiling in that picture. Pero aminin man niya o hindi, kalakip ng litratong iyon ang katotohanang hanggang doon na lang niya makikita ang ngiting iyon.
That beautiful and innocent smile was something Seiichi knew would never see again. Iyon ang katotohanang mahigit dalawang taon na rin niyang pilit tinatanggap pero hindi niya magawa. Kasabay din niyon ang pakiramdam na pilit sumisingit sa kanya. Doubt, perhaps? Skepticism? Who knows.
Isa lang ang alam ni Seiichi. May mali sa lahat ng mga nangyayari pagkatapos niyang malaman ang balita. And now he came back for the sole reason of learning whatever was left with the truth he was seeking for.
"At kailangan mo talaga akong kaladkarin para lang makauwi, ha? Uso naman siguro sa vocabulary ko ang salitang 'voluntary', 'no? And besides, you don't have to take me home. Kaya kong umuwing mag-isa, thank you very much!"
Natigilan si Seiichi sa pagtinging ginagawa niya sa litratong kanyang hawak. The voice he just heard... Could it be that his mind was playing him again?
"Mabuti na 'yong nakakasiguro. You saw those guys back there," anang tinig ng isang lalaki na hindi pamilyar kay Seiichi.
Napaangat ng tingin si Seiichi at inilibot iyon sa buong paligid. Those two could be nearby... Whoever those two were, one of them surely had a voice which resembled that of the girl from his past.
"Yeah, I know. I saw. I heard. And in the end, I had no choice but to disable them. At least not permanently." The girl's voice seemed bored and whining.
'Hindi puwede…' Hindi puwede na ang naiisip ni Seiichi ang sagot sa naglalarong mga tanong sa kanyang isipan niya. He looked around frantically. Kailangan niyang mahanap ang pinagmulan niyon.
Not far from his position, Seiichi seemingly held his breath at the sight of those chocolate brown eyes that he knew was something he could never forget ― not even in his remaining life.
That one ordinary afternoon, hazel brown eyes filled with sorrow and longing met with chocolate brown ones that held guilt and surprise and held each other's gaze for what appeared to be an eternity... for the first time.
xxxxxx
WAS IT possible for a simple but intense gaze to cause one's world to feel as if it had stopped spinning?
Hindi sigurado si Kourin kung ano ang dapat isagot sa tanong na iyon. Pero aminin man niya o hindi, iyon ang naramdaman niya nang makita niya si Seiichi sa park na iyon. She couldn't even let out a single word as it happened, as if the words were stuck in her throat and refused to come out. Ang dami pa man din niyang gustong sabihin.
The past two years that Kourin had hidden her true identity as she "killed" her existence to the world as a Shinomiya princess, it was enough for her to fill her mind and her heart with words that she decided to store. So that by the time she saw Seiichi once again, it would somehow propel her to continue fighting and live her life. Siyempre, sa pagdating ng tamang panahon, gusto rin niyang sabihin dito ang totoo.
But their unexpected meeting at the park was something Kourin wasn't sure how to consider. Nag-umpisang gumulo ang lahat sa isipan niya. Hindi siya makapag-isip nang matino.
In the end, all the Shinomiya princess could do was to stare at him. Just that. At lalo siyang hindi nakakilos nang makita niya ang nakapaloob na emosyon sa mga mata nito. Her heart cringed at the sight of that.
Longing... and immense sorrow.
Ang mga emosyong iyon ang nagbigay ng dahilan kay Kourin na umalis sa lugar na iyon na hindi man lang kinakausap si Seiichi ― o kung ito nga ba si Seiichi Yasuhara na minsang naging bahagi ng buhay niya.
Tunog ng cellphone ang pumutol sa pagmumuni-muni ni Kourin. It was a 'Message Alert' tone.
'Are you okay?'
Napangiti na lang nang malungkot si Kourin nang mabasa niya ang text message na iyon ni Raiden. Hindi kasi niya alam kung ano ang isasagot. Pero lalo naman siya nitong kukulitin kapag hindi siya sumagot.
'Oo naman. Ako pa! I've always been okay. Besides, what made you ask that?' Kourin just pressed Send after typing that reply.
Ilang sandali lang ang lumipas ay tumunog na naman ang cellphone ng dalaga. This time, it was an Incoming Alert tone. Napakamot na lang siya ng ulo nang makitang si Raiden ang tumatawag. Ano na naman kaya ang topak ng lalaking ito at naisipan pa talaga siyang tawagan?
Bumuntong-hininga muna si Kourin bago sinagot ang tawag na iyon. "Hello?"
"Kahit na kailan talaga, ang hilig mong itago ang mga pag-aalala mo. Akala mo ba, hindi ko alam na may bumabagabag diyan sa utak mo kaya para kang zombie kanina nang ihatid kita? Rin naman! Stop keeping things to yourself. Lalo mo lang pinapahirapan ang sarili mo."
Kourin could only gape at Raiden's remarks. Mabuti na lang at sa cellphone lang sila nag-uusap ng lalaking ito nang mga sandaling iyon. 'Pag nagkataon talaga, mababatukan niya ito. Pero dahil hindi siya kilala nito na may violent tendencies ― unless the situation calls for it, she had to calm herself down. Tama nang nakita na nito ang kaya niyang gawin.
That was more than enough.
"There are things that I had to keep to myself for now, Raiden. Pero okay lang talaga ako so you don't have to worry." 'At least... I'll try to be okay.' Pero isinatinig na lang iyon ni Kourin sa kanyang isipan. Baka umiral na naman ang pagiging worrywart ni Raiden. Mahirap na.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Kourin answered with conviction that somehow, she hoped was something convincing. Ang tindi pa man ding mangulit ni Raiden na kung minsan ay nakukulili na talaga ang tainga niya. "Siguro naman, puwede na akong matulog, 'no? Gabi na kaya. Kagagalitan na ako ni Ate Hotaru nito kapag naabutan pa niya akong gising hanggang ngayon."
Mabuti naman at napapayag na ni Kourin si Raiden na tapusin ang tawag na iyon. Pero sa totoo lang, kahit siguro kagalitan siya ni Hotaru dahil gising pa rin siya ay hindi pa rin niya magagawang makatulog. Iyon ay dahil may gusto siyang kausapin.
Sana lang ay gising pa ang taong iyon. Gusto talagang kausapin ni Kourin ang taong iyon dahil ito lang naman ang nakakausap niya kapag ang isyu ay si Seiichi Yasuhara.
Wala nang pinalipas na sandali si Kourin at tinawagan na niya ang pakay. "Ate Miyako?" may nginig sa tinig na usisa niya sa babaeng sumagot sa tawag niya.
"Are you okay, Princess? Napatawag ka yata."
Ilang sandali rin na natahimik si Kourin bago siya sumagot. "I guess I called at a bad time."
"No, it's okay. I'm still reading a file that I need to study for... various things. But I can set it aside for now. Mukha kasing gusto mo ng makakausap, eh."
"Do you have any idea kung ano ang gusto kong sabihin sa iyo?"
Silence... once more. Mukhang napapadalas na ang katahimikan sa pagitan nila. But maybe silence was needed for Kourin to contemplate over a lot of issues.
"It looked like you and Seiichi had finally met." The way Miyako said it was like a statement.
Napangiti nang mapakla si Kourin nang marinig niya iyon. Masasabi pa rin kaya nito iyon kapag nalaman na nito ang totoong nangyari? In the end, she told Miyako all that had happened.
Pero kasabay naman ng pagkukuwento niyang iyon ay unti-unting rumaragasa sa isipan ni Kourin ang ilang mahahalagang alaala na may kinalaman sa lalaking nakasalubong niya.
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