journal entry #102

Last day of the month, huh? Man, I didn't even realize that it's been that long since... I don't know what. Anyway, everything just went by to me in a blur. A boring and monotone kind of blur, if I have to be honest. And I didn't like it one bit. I guess the things that gave this month a slight color to it would be the time I started posting in Kiki app and played the A3! game. Believe me, that gave a new meaning to my boring days.

Weird way to put it, huh?

Anyway, even if I don't have anything much to say to wrap this month up, it's still a month that I'm thankful for. I'm still in this world alive, in spite of those suicidal thoughts that would plague my mind every now and then. They're scary, to be honest.

Okay, I'd better stop right here before it gets somewhere. I have to sleep early, anyway. Only because my headache's really making it hard for me to conjure up plausible thoughts at the moment. Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #100

My 100th journal entry! I can't believe I've written this many journal entries within the year. Yes, I know I've missed several days, but still. I can't believe I've written a lot of nonsense rants about how boring my life had been. Of course, there were times that it wasn't just rants, but also stories that I really wanted to talk about. And no, I wasn't just talking about my written stories, but also stories I found on the internet or even social media that I found interesting and intriguing, at the very least. I mean, seriously. Even when I was a student, I've never done that.

And because of that, I couldn't help asking why I've never written journal entries during those times. Yes, I did write some during high school. But not as almost consistent as the ones I did this year. Did I have a lot in my mind now that I decided to blurt it all out here, to write it here so that I could actually release it in some ways? At this point, I can't really provide an answer to that. Maybe the thoughts hovering in my mind were already too much for me to handle that I ended up using my journal notebook as an outlet instead of talking to someone. I wasn't really close to anyone in my family, to be honest. Sure, I could have some fun and have a few heart-to-heart talks with them. But not all the time. I couldn't do it. Yes, I figured that it was a selfish thought. And I'd like to let it stay that way. I'd rather let it all out in my journal.

journal entry #99

Red days start today and my head hurts. Well, I only slept for two hours, that's why. I did try to sleep more, but I couldn't for obvious reasons. So now I'll try to sleep early to compensate for that.

If I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what to write here today. As you can see, nothing much happened since I didn't get enough sleep. Except for the fact that I played A3! almost the whole day. Sorry. I did say I will catch up and do it all over again after resetting it. And now, I reached Rank 32. The last rank I had before the reset was Rank 35.

Because of that, I hadn't even checked any of my SNS. For real. I got caught up in playing the game that I didn't do anything else with my phone. Maybe except updating it. My phone, I mean. It's been a while since it updated.

So I guess this is it, for now. My head really hurts and I do think I have to sleep it in. Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #98

Two days. I haven't written in my journal in that long. The one to blame? A3! game. 😝 I know. Lame reason. I got immersed in playing the game that I'd rather not do anything else. But that's not good at all, I know. I did have a lot to write here in those 2 days that I've missed, but I never did.

Anyway, someone noticed that I got thinner. I was surprised to hear that and at the same time, I immediately knew the reason why. One of them would be my lack of proper sleep. Another is my food intake and eating time. All of them were not done properly. Even if I reason out that I couldn't force myself to find the right time to do those things properly, it's not a plausible excuse at all. And I will admit that it's my fault. These past few days, I could start feeling the effect of those negligence. Before writing this, I had to take in paracetamol because of headache. My throat was starting to become itchy, as well. But I have to buy carboceistein first. And maybe even lemons.

One weird thing I did today? Restart my game in A3! All because of storage capacity that my phone could handle. I know. Bad move. But I already did it. And at the time I did it, I made my resolve that I would be willing to start the game all over again. Too much work, but I was prepared for it.

Dramatic, huh? I know, and to think it was all for a mobile game. I hope I have that kind of passion when it comes to writing. Yes, another thing that I've been neglecting. Sorry.

Anyway, I think I'll stop here.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #97

I have no idea what to write. Or at least, on creating original content part of writing. This is for the Kiki app and I really need to do my best to actually think of a good (if not the best) content. Okay, I may not have the hard time conjuring and placing words to their respective places one after another. But the topic — I always have a hard time thinking of topics to talk about on blogs. At this point, I might be doing it randomly. You know, whatever topics that comes to mind. But I had a feeling that it's not going to work all the time.

Yes, I have those crazy thoughts running in my head for not being able to think of anything to write about or talk about. But just like what I kept on saying, I'll do my best, even though my best right now isn't exactly as motivating as it should. I'm figuring things out from here on out. I don't know where I'd be heading from here. But I'm seriously hoping for the best for now. I don't want to rush things just to receive money (or if ever I'd receive some through doing what I love).

At this moment, I'm thinking of writing something while thinking of a topic to put up on Kiki app. I'm still debating in my mind whether or not I would write a one-shot fanfic for an anime or Super Sentai. Man, this is nuts! Even writing a story could make me crazy like this.

Anyway, I'd better end this here for now because I really need to take this mind debating a little serious at the moment.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #95

I'm nearing 100 entries on my journal. I can't believe it! Even though most of what I've written here were rants and even bored posts, I still can't believe I did something like this. This is an accomplishment for me, you know. I haven't written this much journal entries by hand before. So I could definitely consider this as an achievement. Maybe this is something I could write on my Kiki blog.

Oh, yeah. That blog was something I just created a few hours ago through an FB friend's recommendation. Well, if I could actually find a way to earn money by actually doing what I love, then I'll go for it. I just need to be consistent about it. Right? For now, I've posted 8 quotes I've written before. I could only post 8 entries in 24 hours, so maybe I have to think carefully as to what content will I post next. Tomorrow, on my scheduled posting/update on Kiki. I was thinking of uploading posts this way:

• 4 quotes with quotes
• Story chapter/trivia
• Journal-like posts
• Book comments
• Episode comments

But if you're going to ask me, I'm a bit unsure if I'd be able to do the last 3. I just had that feeling. Anyway, we'll see. I just want to post something so that I could earn enough. I'll do what I can and I'll try my best to do it.

For now, I'll end this entry here. It's time to sleep or maybe watch more... whatever it is that I had to watch.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #94

A sleepy way to start the week. I mean, seriously! I slept at 3 AM because of my task last night.  And I had a feeling that I've been quite grumpy the whole day. At least the walk from home to town helped me a bit. I had to pay for the internet bill, that's why. As usual, I walked going to the building where it was located. Nothing new, right? I mean, those walks really helped me in more ways than one since high school. They still helped keeping me sane from all the thoughts running in my head (including that of actually thinking to commit s**cide) and those thoughts would just vanish at the end of those walks. I guess I have to blame the sweat, heat, wind, and other things for those thoughts to disappear — even temporarily.

Speaking of temporary thoughts, I'm still contemplating on the fact that I don't know if I should write those future boyfriend/husband letters on the notebook I bought a few days ago or buy several sets of stationeries. Am I crazy for actually thinking of writing something like that? I'm probably starting to become desperate — or even hopeless, for that matter. But my age would soon disappear from the calendar and I guess I couldn't help it.

Oh, yeah. For the first time, I got to watch an IG live of Kishida Tatsuya. But if you asked me, I think this is the first time he actually had an IG live. If you asked me, it made me smile on my sleepy day. It's kind of refreshing, to be honest.

So that's how my day went, I guess. For now, I'll end this entry here 'coz it's time for me to sleep. Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

Kairi/Umika (Lupinranger VS Patranger): Since We Met

If our star was flat, the two of us wouldn't have met... -- Loop, Sakamoto Maaya

xxxxxx

Umika doesn't know if this day could get any worse or what. Then again, what else was new? This was Kairi she was talking about. Of course, that guy would still be wondering around and not do his grocery duties for the Bistrot Jurer. She could only sigh exasperatingly at the thought.

Seriously, when would she see that guy change a little bit?

"Don't expect that he'll ever change. You might end up looking for the old him one day if he did decide to change his ways of doing things."

journal entry #92

For some reason, my muscles ache more than usual today. Okay, I know I walked from home to town (which is a usual thing for me to do). But my aching muscles today wasn't something I'd usually feel, if I say so myself.

Anyway, I'll be listing boring things (or perhaps even complaints) once again here. Bear with me, okay?

• Went out to see my father. A usual once a week thing to do, by the way, ever since my parents separated. We didn't eat outside since my sister and I already ate rice for breakfast that time and I guess my father didn't want to eat anything for some reason. What we did next? Head to the grocery.
• There was something about that grocery part that made me down again. I admit I forgot to get laundry soap, Zonrox, and fabric conditioner because my mind was a mess at that time. And I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to get any, considering the fact that my sisters were already getting their own stuffs to buy (and some were expensive, at that). And then here comes my mom, reprimanding me for actually forgetting it. The way she actually said it was condescending for me and I didn't like it at all. It gave me more negative thoughts and feelings than I could actually handle. In fact, I tweeted about it just as I was contemplating on it. It's better that I let it out that way, right? Or not.
• My sister wasn't sleeping here in our house tonight. My second sister, to be exact. Well, she kept on saying that she's an adult already so I had nothing to say about that. As for me, I'm an adult whose mind is either regressing or possibly heading to Alzheimer's. I don't know. I just had that feeling.
• Finally! I finished typing down that 4th chapter of the fanfic and now I'm trying to finish writing the second half of the 4th chapter of Francis and Ilsie's story.

Got bored already? Don't worry. It's always like that. My life has always been like that. And seriously, I have no idea what to do anymore about that.

For now, I think it's time for me to say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

Yeong-jin Chon Character Introduction

YEONG-JIN CHON

Age: 23

Country: Jeonnan (reminiscent to South Korea)

Visual inspiration: Taehyun of TXT

.

"Wielder of the Blade of Mystery, Miragaserker Knight!"

.

Weston's quiet and slightly moody childhood friend who was the last to become a chosen knight. Described as the tactician of the group together with Weston, he grew up researching everything about the ancient Drurginar Clan and the Ilgrath tribe. Despite his stoic nature, he wasn't scared to admit to his childhood friend that he always feared the day the prophecy of total annihilation would come true. It manifested when the Drurginar Clan attacked Wesharia for the first time since their last onslaught in the ancient times that wiped out the entire Wesharian royal family. His research made him realize what truly happened at the night of the royal massacre and the second to discover the truth about the 'ultimate power of the grand beasts'.

.

Note: I actually reposted this because of a typo that I made on Yeong-jin's knight title.