I'll Hold On To You 50 - Horrifying And Heartbreaking

[Relaina]

IT WAS already a desperate attempt to save someone who was already down, vengeful, and torn. Pero para sa akin, hindi ako dapat sumuko ngayon. I arrived at the place after ten minutes. Binilisan ko na ang lakad para lang marating ko ang lugar na binanggit sa akin ng tinawagan ko.

It was a run-down building. Isa rin sa mga malapit nang i-demolish this year, according to some rumors. And I guessed I shouldn’t be surprised kung bakit hindi maiisip ninuman na sa lugar na ito ay posible kong matagpuan ang hinahanap kong tao.

“Don’t be afraid, Relaina. You can do this,” pag-e-encourage ko sa sarili ko. Though I hated going to places like this, this time I didn’t have a choice.

Kailangan ko nang gawin ito.

With sure steps, I entered the building as I tried my best not to create a noise. Mahirap na. Baka may makaalam pang kung sinong kulugo riyan sa kanto.

Pero nagulat ako nang may marinig akong ungol at sigaw. Bigla ang pagdaan ng kaba sa dibdib ko dahil doon. Not to mention that the scream belonged to someone I knew.

Wala na akong inaksayang panahon. Nagmadali na ako sa paglakad ko sa direksiyon patungo sa pinagmulan ng mga narinig ko. As I got closer, however, more screams resonated in the area along with groans of pain.

Ano ba’ng nangyayari?

When I arrived at the scene, a brutal view greeted me. Bigla ako nakaramdam ng panghihina dahil doon.

A heavily panting Brent wearing a hooded and bloody jacket while carrying metal tubes on both hands – also covered in blood – was looking at his fallen enemies with cold eyes. Not even a single trace of remorse could be seen in those eyes at what he had done. Not one person lying around the area could even find the strength to get up anymore.

“No way…” Iyon na lang ang nagawa kong sambitin dahil sa panghihina at hindi pagkapaniwala.

As if on cue, those cold eyes vanished in an instant. What replaced them was an unimaginable surprise as he looked up and finally faced my direction. He was gaping, as well.

“L-Laine?”

Napapikit ako nang marinig ko iyon. Ayoko pa ring maniwala na totoo ang mga nakita ko. Na sa pagbukas ng mga mata ko, malalaman ko na masamang panaginip lang ang lahat ng ito.

But sad to say, hindi nangyari ang hiling ko. The truth was even clearer than before the moment I opened my eyes. Gusto kong maiyak, for some reasons. But not right now. May kailangan pa akong gawin.

“What in the world are you trying to prove by doing this, Brent?” pagsisimula ko habang dahan-dahan akong humakbang papalapit dito. But then I thought I trudged than actually walked.

Nag-iwas ito ng tingin sa akin. “Paano mo nalaman na nandito ako, ha?”

“Importante pa ba iyon? Ano na naman ba’ng pumasok sa kukote mo’t ginawa mo ‘to, ha? Ano ba talaga ang gusto mong patunayan?”

“Wala ka na r’on! I have reason for doing this so stay out of it!”

Napaismid ako at saka napailing. “Stay out? Ganoon lang ‘yon para sa iyo? Eh idinamay na ako ng ibang tao sa mga pinaggagagawa mo, eh. Why don’t you tell them the same thing?”

“Ano ba talaga ang kailangan mo, ha? Bakit mo pa ako sinundan dito?”

I could feel Brent's anger toward me slowly rising. Pero hindi ako dapat magpatinag. “Whatever my reason is for going through all this shit just for you is none of your business.”

“Eh bakit nandito ka pa kung ganoon rin lang pala? But you’re right. Everything you see around you right now is full of shit! Kaya umalis ka na bago pa kita idamay sa lahat ng mga ito kapag hindi ako nakapagtimpi!”

Kahit gusto kong matakot at masorpresa sa lahat ng ito, hindi ko magawa. Namanhid na kaya ako?

“Fine! Do it but let it be known to you na hindi ako natatakot sa iyo. Kung kinakailangang maglaban pa tayo rito para lang matahimik ka, I won’t hold back and I never will! At alam kong alam mo iyon!” mariing anunsyo ko.

Inumpisahan ako nito sa pagsigaw, eh. So here, I ended up doing the same thing. Nagkasukatan kami ng tingin ng lalaking ito. His stares were hard and cold, but not as cold as how I saw it a while back.

Napamura na lang si Brent bago sinipa ang isang lalaking hindi ko napansing nakatayo pala at tangkang susugod dito. He must have vented out his pent-up frustration through that kick dahil sa confrontation namin.

And that was the last straw.

“Ano ba, Brent? Tama na!” Huli na nang mapansin kong nakalapit ako kay Brent at tinangka kong pigilan ito.

But he protested and before I knew it, naihampas na nito ang hawak na tubo sa kaliwang braso ko. I yelped in pain for a few moments. But I thought it was enough to snap Brent out of his vengeful reverie. Now he was looking at me – particularly my arm that was hit – in horror.

Pinilit kong tiisin ang sumisigid na sakit. Tutal, mataas naman ang pain tolerance ko kahit papaano. I guessed I could still bear this. But I had to admit, malakas pala si Brent.

I smiled bitterly.

“L-Laine… I’m sorry.” He really looked apologetic… and also afraid.

I tried to face him despite the searing pain. “Ito ba talaga ang gusto mong mangyari, Brent? Na pati ang mga taong wala namang kinalaman sa galit mo, ang mga taong talagang mahalaga sa iyo, ay nadadamay at nasasaktan dahil binubulag ka na ng galit na patuloy mong kinikimkim sa puso mo?”

Now he looked confused… and lost. He ended up throwing one of the metal tubes he was holding to the wall out of anger and frustration.

“Hanggang kailan mo ba pahihirapan ang sarili mo, Brent? Hanggang kailan ka magkakaganito?”

“Hanggang sa maintindihan nila ang mga pagkakamaling nagawa nila sa mga taong hindi naman dapat nadadamay sa mga kalokohan nila!”

“But you don’t have any right to deliver this kind of punishment to them.”

“Then who will? Sabihin mo sa akin kung sino!”

I exhaled dahil kulang na lang talaga, hampasin ko na rin ito ng tubo, eh. “Ilang buhay pa ba ang kailangan mong sirain bago ka makuntento’t matahimik, ha? So you think you’re a judge and an executioner at the same time to do this kind of punishment? Ano ba ang mapapala mo kapag ipinagpatuloy mo pa ito, ha? No matter how many people you hurt this bad, none of this would ever bring back your friend’s life!”

Huli na nang mamalayan kong tumulo na pala ang luha sa mga mata ko. Huli na rin nang makita kong parang natigilan si Brent. Siguro ay tinamaan ito sa mga sinabi ko.

“None of this pain, this blood, and your revenge will bring back a life that was lost and taken. At sa tingin mo ba, sa ginagawa mong ito, matutuwa si Vanz sa iyo? Matutuwa ang mga taong buhay pa rin at patuloy na nagmamahal sa iyo? They won’t be happy with this at all. None of these kinds of suffering would ever make them happy.”

Wala ni isa man sa amin ang nakapagsalita pagkatapos n’on. It was total silence around us.

Dahil hindi ko na matagalan ang atmosphere na iyon, I guessed… it was time for me to leave. Nagawa ko naman kahit papaano ang parte ng trabaho ko. Pero si Brent pa rin ang huling magdedesisyon.

“You need to stop doing this,” I said after a few moments.

“I can’t…”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “A-ano’ng ibig mong sabihin?”

“I can’t… because I don’t know how.”

“You have to try. Ang dami nang nadadamay at nasasaktan. Tama na.” I must have sounded pathetic for actually pleading like that.

Pilit ko pa ring tinitiis ang sakit sa braso ko. Grabe. Not once na pumasok sa isipan ko na magagawa sa akin iyon ni Brent. Dahan-dahan kong hinawak-hawakan ang bahaging tinamaan nito. But I ended up wincing at the sting of pain.

Pambihira lang talaga.

I was about to turn around and leave since I could feel that my job there was done. But before I could even comprehend what had happened next, nagulat na lang ako nang makita kong binitiwan ni Brent ang hawak nitong isa pang tubo at lumuhod sa harap ko. What had surprised me more was when he hugged me with his face buried in my stomach.

I couldn’t move. Hindi ko alam kung paano, lalo pa nang maramdaman kong para bang yumuyugyog pa yata ang mga balikat nito. Next thing I knew, he uttered two words in the most heartbreaking tone I had ever heard from him.

“I’m sorry…”