i'll hold on to you 102 - blurting out

[Relaina]

May isang oras din ang itinagal bago pa idineklara ni Miette mula sa loob ng bahay na okay na raw ang paghahanda ng mga ito. Sinamantala naman ni Brent ang isang oras na iyon para maipasyal ako sa loob ng property ng Tita Marie nito.

Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala hanggang sa mga sandaling iyon na may ganoon kagandang flower farm sa Altiera. At hindi rin ako makapaniwala na maraming bulaklak ang naitanim at naaalagaan doon. Mga bulaklak na ginagamit ni Brent para iparating nito sa akin ang ilang mahahalagang mensaheng gusto nitong sabihin sa akin sa ibang paraan.

And seriously, it was one heck of a way to relay messages to me. Epecially the kind that… sounded romantic in more ways than one.

“‘Buti, hindi ka pa itinataboy ng Tita mo dahil sa pagtangay mo sa mga bulaklak na itinatanim niya rito,” biro ko bilang pagbasag na rin sa katahimikang nakapalibot sa aming dalawa.

Where To Start

Hi, guys! I'm Florence and welcome back to my page.

(Still in the feeling of imagining what it's actually like to greet people in front of the camera, even when I'm camera-shy IRL.)

This is a strange introduction for a blog post, I know. And I also know that I haven't posted in two scheduled dates, only because I have no idea what to post at the time. Things had been stressful for me during those days and I don't want to put pressure on myself when writing something for this page. So I decided not to post anything in those two days.

Honestly, I have no idea what to post here even as I'm writing this. Okay, maybe that was a bit of a lie. I have lots of things and ideas to talk about here. Things that I've been wanting to discuss with someone. Things that bothered me a lot that I wanted to bring out and maybe it would lead to something.

Am I just imagining things here? Am I just overthinking and hopelessly wishing that someone would understand them? That there would be strangers who would understand them? Can I be a 'relatable' person that people would listen to, read about, or watch to at some point?

i'll hold on to you 101 - day of the meeting

[Relaina]

The day of the meeting with Brent's maternal aunt in the flower farm… It finally came.

Pero ako, hindi ko alam kung ano ba talaga ang dapat kong maramdaman dahil sa nangyayari ng mga sandaling iyon. It was Sunday. Gaya ng napag-usapan namin ni Brent a few days ago, ito na ang dreaded day.

Alamko namang hindi ako mapapahamak sa lugar na ito. The woman that I was about to meet was Brent's aunt. Mabait daw ito, sabi ng lalaking iyon. But it still remained to be seen. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong asahan sa pakikipagkita ko sa Tita ni Brent.

Hopefully, wala namang masamang mangyari.

i'll hold on to you 100 - final realization

[Relaina]

Okay. So this was the first time I’ve heard about this information. Hindi ko yata ma-imagine na magkukrus ang landas nina Oliver at Vivian in any way possible. Then again, marami pa ring maaaring mangyari na wala sa hinagap ko.

Oh, great! Now I was being dramatic with all these thoughts going on in my mind at the moment because of what I heard from Vivian. 

“Oo, siya nga. But… wait, do you know him?”

“You could say that. Pero… medyo iwas siya pagdating sa akin, eh.”

Journaling Gap: 2009 and 2010

Hi, guys! Welcome back to my page.

I know I didn't provide an update last Monday. But that's because I'm still trying to navigate what to write about and what to post on that day. Even when I said that I would make my Sundays #SundayStories and thoughts-related entries on #ThursdayThoughts, like this one.

Sunday Stories (originally planned to be posted on Mondays) will be a segment about the stories I wrote, currently writing, and will write sometime soon or in the future. So yes, I'd also be posting stories here that I never posted in any writing platforms I signed up to.

I'm still in the middle of debating if I want to actually keep up with doing that.

Anyways...

i'll hold on to you 99 - rooftop discussions

[Relaina]

Okay. I might have accepted Brent’s invitation for me na pumunta sa bahay ng Tita Marie nito para makilala ito. Pero hindi naman nangangahulugan na kalmado na ako sa lahat ng ito. In fact, it was already 2 AM in the morning. But here I wasn’t, still wide awake.

And I hated it a lot. Urgh!

Pero kahit naman siguro magreklamo ako nang ganito ay hindi pa rin sapat iyon para kumalma ako. Oo nga at may pasok pa ako mamayang umaga. Kaya lang, hirap talaga akong pilitin ang sarili ko na makatulog na.

Ayaw yata akong patahimikin ng isip ko, eh.

What is this "journaling gap"?

What happened within the decade of my journaling gap?

Yes, it's a weird intro. I couldn't think of a simpler one at the moment. Or maybe I should call this entry "My Journaling Gap" instead to make it more ambiguous. And possibly even make it sound... mysterious? Okay, that's a weird way to put it.

For those who are new to this page, welcome. Hi, my name is Florence Joyce. That's my full given name, in case you're curious. Or maybe not. You may probably find it strange that I wrote my entry this way as if I'm talking to a bunch of strangers outside. Or it could even look like as if I was talking in front of a camera. You know, like in a vlog. Though I like the idea a lot, I was never the person who liked doing either of them. An INFP-T here, by the way. The letter "I" gives you the idea of what is my personality already.