Oh, right. It’s Saturday today. And here I am, completely forgetting about it. I know I haven’t written any Saturday Night Thoughts entry for two consecutive Saturdays already after the one I posted on the first Saturday of the year. And now I just noticed that I wrote the word “Saturday” three times in one sentence. But that’s beside the point. I couldn’t recall why I haven’t written anything for this post category for two Saturdays now. It’s not because I don’t have much to say. To be honest, I have a lot to say. It’s just that I think I couldn’t put everything in words and I decided that those thoughts shouldn’t leave my mind.
So the result of that, I ended up forgetting them. Hehe! It’s not like I meant to forget them. I think I just buried those thoughts at the back of my mind when I decided to focus on my manuscript that, until now, I still haven’t finished. Urgh! Procrastination—definitely a bad habit. I hate it.
It’s a good thing that the desktop I used was fixed after it crashed. I don’t know what I’ll do if it took longer before I managed to find a way to fix it. And to think I had a lot of writing plans set for this year—especially this coming February.
Hindi na niya kailangan pang mang-angat ng tingin para malaman kung sino na naman ang naisipang mambulabog sa kanya nang araw na iyon. Naroon siya sa Love Blossoms kung saan ay kababalik lang niya galing sa dalawang buwan niyang leave. Nakatulong naman ang ilang linggo pang natitira niyon kahit papaano dahil kailangan nga naman talaga niyang ikondisyon ang kanyang isipan lalo na kapag bumalik na siya sa flower shop at asikasuhin ang mga naiwan niyang trabaho roon.
"Ano na naman ang topak mo, Beatrice? Ilang araw mo na akong kinukulit dito, ah," aniya na hindi ito tinitingnan dahil abala siya sa binabasang report na kailangan niyang pag-aralan bago niya ipasa iyon sa amo niya.
"Ito naman. Ibinibigay ko na nga ang sarili ko sa iyo para magkaroon ka man lang ng social life na matatawag, ganyan pa ang salubong mo sa akin."
“O, NASAAN na ang cellphone mo? ‘Di ba dala mo lang iyon kaninang umaga?” Iyon ang agad na tanong ni Mayu sa akin pagkatapos ng klase namin sa Trigonometry at habang tinatahak namin ang daan patungong canteen.
Lihim akong natigilan dahil doon. Pero nginitian ko na lang si Mayu at pinilit kong hindi ipahalata rito ang discomfort ko sa tanong nito.
“Tinapon ko na,” kaswal at tipid kong sagot dito. Sana lang ay makahalata ito na ayoko munang pag-usapan ang tungkol sa bagay na iyon.
Pero in fairness, pagkatapos kong gawin ang pagtapon sa CP kong iyon, parang nabunutan ako ng tinik sa lalamunan. Or at least it felt that way. Kumalma naman ako kahit papaano.
Talagang nakakabaliw na ang mga pangyayari sa akin. Imagine, I can't believe na ka-text ko si JA the whole day. We just talked about making the assignments.
Nakaka-boring, ano?
****
Mabuti nga, may pinag-usapan pa kayo, eh. Kaysa naman wala, 'di ba? But honestly, puwede bang sapakin ang sarili ko noon? Ang daming drama sa buhay, eh.
And just like what happened to my Saturday Night Thoughts post, I ended up skipping two Sundays on this one. Sorry for that. I’ve been busy doing my writings, to be honest. And then the desktop I’ve been using crashed, which truly irked me. Thank goodness, I managed to find a way to fix it. So today is the last day of January. How time flies fast, huh? I can’t believe it’s already a month since the start of 2016.
I haven’t seen much progress over my life since I’ve decided to remain a hermit as I tried to finish my pending manuscripts that I’ll be passing to a publishing house and updates for my Wattpad stories. And seriously speaking, it doesn’t really have a good effect on me, especially if the weather here is totally enough to give me a headache, literally. The weather’s cold here in Baguio, by the way. It’s already a usual scenario, and the usual coldest months here starts in January and ends in February. Just this month, the lowest temperature recorded here was 6.3 degrees Celsius. Trust me, that’s enough to give me a headache in more than one occasion.
And when I take a bath, it’s like I’m taking an ice bucket challenge because of the cold water. Brrr!! But then, that’s just me complaining about the cold weather even though I was born and raised here. So you might not as well pay attention to that.
So this Sunday, I’m currently:
READING
A Filipino Wattpad story “Seventh Sense” by purpleyhan, which is the prequel of “Tantei High”. Somehow, I got intrigued about the tweets I read about Seventh Sense so I ended up reading it, only to be reminded that I should read Tantei High first for me to understand the story. And so I did. I’m really happy that the anime “Detective Conan” really inspired the author to write this story.
WRITING
Chapter 6 of one of my pending manuscripts “Yuna’s Tulip: Believe In Me” which I’ll be passing to a publishing house once I’m done writing and proofreading it. Of course, that’s beside writing this 9th Sunday Currently post.
LISTENING
A Korean song titled “Only With My Heart” by Lena Park. Recently, I’ve been listening to sad ballads in Korean and Japanese, which I considered really weird of me somehow.
THINKING
Of how I’d be able to finish writing the stories I’ve posted on Wattpad and of course, that includes my planned stories to be passed to a publishing house. Urgh! The struggles of a writer.
SMELLING
My right hand every time I stopped typing for a few moments. It actually still has leftover calamansi scent on it, that’s why. I don’t know why I love citrusy scents on my hands.
WISHING
For my manuscript “Guia’s Lotus: Be With Me” which is still under evaluation to be approved.
HOPING
That my wish would come true about my currently evaluated manuscript. That’ll give me a head start on my writing goals this year.
WEARING
A blue sweater and gray pants. I hate it when the weather gets cold like this.
LOVING
The fact that I’m inspired to write two of the romance stories under “The Last Sky Of The Earth” side stories. But I’ll only be able to do that once I’m done writing TLSOTE trilogy.
WANTING
To buy more pocketbooks to be read in the future, especially those stories from the authors I admire.
NEEDING
Pocket money for me to buy the pocketbooks that I want to buy. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if it’ll come true soon.
FEELING
Sleepy, but my mind’s still hyped up to continue finishing my manuscript’s Chapter 6. At least, I need to finish that chapter tonight. I’ll try.
CLICKING
On my Twitter accounts and reading a few random tweets from those I followed. Mostly from the indie Filipino romance authors.
"A-ANGELA? Angela, ano'ng nangyari sa 'yo? Bakit ka nagkaganyan? Sino'ng may gawa nito sa iyo?" sunud-sunod na tanong ni Alexis sa dalagang nasa wheelchair habang hawak na niya ang kamay nito.
Tiningnan niya si Elizza subalit umiling lang ito.
"Don't even try to talk to her, Kuya. It's useless."
"NAKATAPOS ko na rin, sa wakas!" anunsyo ni Ayumi sa sarili at pinakatitigan pa talaga ang huling drawing na kukumpleto sa set of sketches niya. Plano niyang ibigay ang mga iyon kay Vince bilang dagdag inspirasyon na rin at hopefully ay gawan din nito ng glass figurine version sa mga susunod na obrang lilikhain nito.
The last drawing she made was actually a man and a woman dancing with teddy bears around. Ginamit niyang inspirasyon ang naganap na "date" nila ni Vince sa burol noong isang gabi. Pero imbes na kandila ang ilagay niya sa paligid, teddy bears na lang ang iginuhit niya. It would remind her of that particular moment's cuteness, 'yon ang nasa isipan niya. Maybe she wanted to have a proof of some sort just to keep that moment immortal in her mind. Kahit kasi sabihin pa na desidido na siyang huwag itong kalimutan, kadalasang wala siyang tiwala sa itinatagal ng isang alaala sa kanyang isipan.
Huminga siya nang malalim at nagdesisyon na bumaba sa kusina dahil nakaramdam lang naman siya ng gutom. Nang tumingin siya sa orasan, napangiwi siya nang makitang lampas alas-dose na pala ng tanghali. Nakapagtataka namang walang kumatok sa silid niya para ipaalala na tanghalian na. Ganoon ba siya ka-focused sa ginagawa niya at hindi niya namalayan iyon?
Gayunman, nagtungo na lang siya sa kusina para maghanap ng makakain. Pero hindi pa man siya nakakapangalahati ng baba sa hagdan ay narinig niya ang boses ni Vince. Para itong may kausap. Nang silipin niya ang living room, nakita niyang may kausap ito sa cellphone at seryoso ang mukha nito.
Kurama stared wide-eyed at the unconscious Riya on his arms. Soon after, he looked at the silver rose in the glass case followed by certain words flooding into his mind.
"You must find the one item which will become a trigger for those memories to return. And you must give it to her on the eve of this month's second full moon..."
"By the time she would call you by your demon name will be the day she would finally remember everything else that is connected to you and this war..."
After recalling those words said by Riya inside that illusion, he looked at the maiden with soft yet sad eyes as tears began to fall from it.
Napangiwi na lang ako dahil doon. Kulang na lang talaga, takpan ko ang tainga ko sa lakas ng boses ni Mayu. Ang bruha kong pinsan talaga, naisipan pang mag-eskandalo. Hindi na naawa sa tainga ko na nagsa-suffer sa lakas ng boses nito.
“Necessarily lang talagang ipangalandakan mo iyan sa madla, ‘no?”
Napabuntong-hininga ako pagkatapos n’on. “Oo, tumawag siya. Nagulat nga rin ako, eh. Ilang beses ko pang inulit iyong message na iniwan niya sa voice mail ko para lang makumpirma ko talaga na hindi ako nananaginip o nagha-hallucinate lang.”
Shorten period kami today. And I don't know what got into him pero ka-text ko siya the whole afternoon. And one weird thing for me eh nung sinabi niya na makinig daw ako sa Campus Radio 92.7 dahil may surprise daw siya sa akin. Eh di ginawa ko naman.
I was shocked when I heard my name on the greetings he texted to the station because I never thought he would do that kind of stuff. If I'm not mistaken, it was my name na naunang binanggit ng DJ then yung apat o lima pang pangalan ng girls (I think).
Talagang gulat na gulat ako sa ginawa niya that night, but I'm happy because of that greetings.
***
Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, ito lang yata 'yong pagkakataon na ginawa ng sino man sa mga naging crush ko ang ganito. Maybe that's why I considered it a big deal at the time. Hindi naman siguro masama, 'no?
What's with the title? That's the time I'm typing this down. I don't know. I just want to put some random thoughts here since I haven't done that in quite a long time. Sorry. I've been busy figuring out how to finally get myself together to write and write in order for me to achieve my writing goals this year.
But for now, I'd just finish readingpurpleyhan'sTantei Highsince I was intrigued by the tweets I kept on reading on its prequelSeventh Sense. Along with that, I really need to finish reading Venice Jacobs' The Breakers Corazon Sociedad series which have been stuck with me for almost a year and I only read two out of the series' ten books.
Great! Talk about being completely unproductive. Urgh!
HINDI na matukoy ni Ayumi kung ilang beses na siyang napapabuntong-hininga habang nakatingin sa kisame nang magising siya nang umagang iyon. Ang totoo niyan, alas-tres pa lang ng madaling-araw ay mulat na mulat na siya. Paano ba naman kasi? Hanggang sa pagtulog ay hindi siya pinatahimik ng sangkaterbang isipin na hindi niya alam kung paano paalisin sa kanyang isipan. But then, wala naman nang dapat ipagtaka roon. Si Vince ba naman kasi ang dahilan niyon, talagang wala na siyang magagawa pa.
Para ngang kahit ano na ang gawin niya sa mga susunod na araw, hinding-hindi na ito maglalaho sa kanyang isipan. Kunsabagay, hindi lang naman ito nakapagkit sa isipan niya. Sa nakalipas na mga araw na nanatili siya sa mansion ng mga Castagnia, nakatitiyak siya na maging ang puso niya, iniukit na rin ang lahat ng tungkol sa kaibigan—at ngayon nga ay lalaking walang dudang mahal na mahal na niya.
Paano ba ako napasok sa gulong 'to? pagngawa niya sa kanyang isipan bago itinakip ang braso niya sa mga mata. Makailang-beses na niyang ginawa iyon habang pilit na iniisip ang mga dapat na gawin upang magawa pa niyang isalba ang kanyang puso sa napipintong lungkot na pagdadaanan niya. Kaya lang, magagawa ba niya iyon? Ngayon pa nga lang, hayun at hindi na niya maipaliwanag ang kalungkutang lumulukob sa kanya. Hindi pa siya umaalis sa mansion sa lagay na iyon.
Humigit-kumulang isang oras pa ang inilagi niya sa kama na ganoon ang takbo ng isipan ni Ayumi bago siya tuluyang bumangon. Tutulong na lang siya kay Manang Belen sa paghahanda ng aalmusalin ni Vince para naman magawa niyang i-divert ang isipan niya sa mas sensible na bagay.
The special day for the Miyuzaki's princess (or to be specific, their priestess princess) had finally arrived. Everyone who was invited was getting ready with what they were supposed to wear and of course, their gifts for the birthday celebrant. They didn't have any problem regarding their attire for that night since they were told that it wasn't really necessary to wear something too fancy. Though as much as possible, they have to wear sonething semi-formal. The invitations would be their passes to the hotel where the celebration was held since the security would be tight.
The celebration was held on a Saturday night. Of course, they wanted to look their best for their friend, and so they fixed themselves in a way that they would be comfortable and at the same time, presentable. The same goes for the gang. Surprisingly, Yumi managed to convince Hiei to attend the party but it only happened after one hell of an argument between the two. Kurama just devised an idea to make Hiei stay on guard outside the function hall since Yumi couldn't really make him enter the hall, though the three-eyed demon asked Yumi to give his gift to Riya.
“O, BA’T PARA kang wala sa sarili mo? Nandoon ka lang naman sa pahingahan mo, ‘di ba?”
Hindi ko na sinagot si Mayu – na himalang hindi pa umaalis samantalang kababanggit lang sa akin ni Neilson na may “date” ang mga ito – pagdating ko sa classroom. Naupo na lang ako sa assigned seat ko at inilapat ko ang noo ko sa table ng armchair na gamit ko. Mabuti nga’t hindi ko pa naisipang ibagsak ang ulo ko roon para lang magising ako.
Bangungot ba ‘to? Bakit ganito ang dating ng bulaklak na iyon sa akin? Bakit ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko?
So this episode of the podcast was a little different. Not to mention that it took me more than a week to write something about this particular episode. But since it’s a special episode and still a part of the Romance Class podcast, I might as well write my thoughts about this. Just to be fair. Hehe!
One thing I noticed, though, was Ana’s voice. I don’t know if she was a little sick during the interview or something else. But I noticed that her voice was somewhat cracked, similar to a person who’s having a slight throat problem. Of course, maybe that’s just me. And yet I focused more on listening to her answering the questions thrown at her. The one I liked the most was when she answered the question about Rachel and Gio’s delivery of the excerpt. I mean, I really thought of the same way. I also like the two actors’ delivery of the lines and narrations. Seriously, I agree with her when she said that it’s really a different feeling when these two read the excerpt of the book. Their narration made the story even more beautiful when you imagine it and I could really see the scenes came alive—at least in my mind. It’s clearer than just how I read a book.
PAGTAPAK na pagtapak pa lang ng kanyang mga paa sa lupa ay agad na hinagilap ni Alexis ang mga mukhang pamilyar sa kanya.
Kararating lang kasi niya galing Canada. And from the airport, dumiretso muna siya sa isang hotel na malapit sa daungan ng mga barko at tinawagan ang kapatid na si Joaquin para magpasundo gamit ang yate ng kanilang pamilya.
Matapos makapagpahinga ay agad na dumiretso si Alexis sa daungan kung saan sinalubong siya ng piloto nitong si Mang Inggo. At gamit ang yate ay dumiretso sila sa San Jose, ang bayang kanyang sinilangan.
At ngayong narito na siya, napangiti siya nang makita ang napakalaking pagbabago sa bayang iyon. Subalit sa kabila ng pagbabalik niya sa San Jose ay may kahungkagan pa ring nararamdaman ang binata.
ABALA si Ayumi sa tinatapos na final touches ng iginuhit niya nang umagang iyon. Alam niyang hindi pa niya maiistorbo si Vince sa workshop nito hanggang hindi pa oras ng pagkain nito. Isa pa, ibinaling niya roon ang nararamdamang pag-aalala para sa binata nang mapansin niya ang katamlayan nito. Bagaman sinabi nito na wala namang problema, hindi pa rin siya mapalagay.
Sa katunayan ay gusto na niyang sugurin ang workshop nito at bulabugin ito para lang kumalma siya kapag natiyak niyang wala naman talagang problema ang binata. Pero dahil tinamaan ng hiya at paggalang na rin sa working hours nito sa pagtapos ng obra nito, pinili niyang manatili sa silid niya. Kalaunan ay napatungo siya sa pool area nang maisipang ituloy na lang ang naudlot na sketches niya nang mahulog siya mula sa veranda. Kahit ayaw niya, naaalala niya ang takot na naramdaman noong mga panahong nahulog siya mula roon. If it wasn't for Vince catching her on time, tiyak na siya ang inaalagaan ngayon at hindi ang binata.
Kumunot ang noo niya nang maulinigan ang tila humahangos na kasambahay sa loob. Nang lingunin niya iyon, nagtaka siya sa pagkatarantang nakikita niya sa mukha ni Manang Belen habang palapit ito sa kanya. Inilapag niya sa isang tabi ang sketchpad at lapis na hawak.
"Ano po'ng problema, Manang?" hindi niya napigilang usisa sa babae.
Riya and Mari were talking at the school gate when Yumi arrived. Both ladies smiled at the sight of the Fire Wielder.
"Yumi-san, you're here," Mari exclaimed. Yumi just smiled at that.
"I just came here to record the gang's performances. After that, I'll be helping Yusuke and Keiko-chan deliver the invitations. By the way, have you handed the invitations to Kurama's family?"
Mari nodded. "I just handed it to them before I came here."
"I guess the same goes to Koenma, Botan-chan, Genkai-san, and Yukina-chan," Riya said, more of a statement than a question.
"That's right." And then Mari handed a tote bag where the invitations were placed. After that, she took out an envelope from the right chest pocket of her brown overcoat. "I know you'll be the one to personally invite him."
Mabilis na lumipas ang mahigit dalawang linggo para sa akin. Well, kaya lang naman siguro naging mabilis iyon sa akin kasi iyon ang hinihiling kong mangyari. Pa’no ba naman kasi? Walang araw na hindi sinira ng kamoteng Allen na iyon ang araw ko.
My gosh! That’s a totally torturous 2 weeks for me na lumipas sa buhay ko. Nakakainis! Kung puwede lang talagang magwala.
Pero sa ngayon kasi, hindi ko naman magawa iyon kahit gustung-gusto ko nang gawin. Ewan ko ba. Iba kasi ang araw na iyon, eh. Nakakawalang-gana… as in, sobra! Tuluy-tuloy ang pagdating ng mga kamalasan sa buhay ko.
Ano ba namang klaseng araw ito? Nagkaroon nga ng suwerte pero pinalitan naman ng kamalasan. Kung bakit ko pa kasi inilabas itong diary ko, eh. It happened like this:
It was our science subject. Ibinigay lang sa amin ng teacher namin ang activity na supposed to be gagawin namin for an hour. I think it's all about conversion of base units or about significant figures (I don't remember kasi yung activity na iyon, eh). After I wrote down the given, I brought out my cellphone in my pocket. Then nabigla ako nang biglang magtanong si JA ng sagot sa question. And before ko nasabi sa kanya ang answer (masyado talaga akong mapagbigay ng answer), nakita niya ang cellphone ko. He asked me kung cellphone ko iyon, then I said yes. The next question he asked was kung ano ang SIM na gamit-gamit ko and I said Globe ang gamit kong SIM. I don't even know na Globe din pala ang gamit niyang SIM. But the thing I was shocked about was that noong gusto niyang kunin yung cellphone number ko. THAT IS THE GOOD LUCK THAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
And then the next was the bad luck. Wala ang teacher namin sa MAPEH pero ipunautos niya kay Jhona ang gagawin. Ako naman eh tinamad magsulat kasi ang haba-haba. Kaya ang nilabas ko na lang eh iyong diary ko. And this is it! Nakitang una ni GB iyong diary ko and kinantiyawan niya pa si JA na tingnan iyon. I was really nervous that I don't know the reason. Then habang pinag-uusapan nila iyong picture sa diary ko, I was shocked because hindi ko akalain na babasahin nila iyong nasa loob ng diary. Noong sinabi nila na sa first page lang ang babasahin nila, pumayag naman ako. Then after a few moments, nagulat na lang ako nang mabasa nila yung part tungkol kay JA it was clearly identified kung sino siya.
I don't know if this is a lucky day or a bad day.
But nung tinext niya ako, kinonfirm ko naman kung galit ba siya o hindi. I don't know if I'm going to believe it pero sabi naman niya na hindi siya galit. But I'm not sure about it.
Ano ba namang klaseng kamalasan ito?
***
I think around this time, nadala na akong dalhin ang journal ko anywhere maliban sa bahay o di kaya ay sa mga out of town trips. Then again, ano ba ang pumasok sa isip ko that time at dinala ko ang journal ko? Hmm...
So this will be my first Sunday Currently entry for the year 2016. Happy New Year, everyone! It’s already been three days that passed since the last day of 2015. I’m not really sure how I greeted the New Year, though. But I’d like to say I was quite neutral about it. I want to allow the good vibes to enter. Yet somehow, I guess some bad vibes could really find a way to penetrate you.
It’s Saturday and this will be my first Saturday Night Thoughts entry for 2016. I can’t believe it’s already two days since the last day of 2015. It’s nearly 10 pm and here I am writing this while researching for Asian shows and movies to download from my mobile phone. Well, this is better than to dwell with another job hunt issue thrown at me. It actually started when I refused to meet up with my father who haven’t actually gone home since last December. It’s not like I’ll gain something from it.
I hate it when they’re forcing me to do something I don’t really want to. I know people will hate me for that, especially if it actually concerns more on my decision not to find a job anytime soon. Of course, my mom kept on nagging me about it which I understood somehow. I mean, we’re the only ones who needed to support each other. My father won’t be helping us anymore with paying the house rent since it was all part of their agreement two months ago. But I can’t really force myself or I might end up getting fired from whatever job I’d find again.
They’d thrown me away and I could understand that. I wasn’t dedicated in fulfilling my duties, anyway. I still played around like a high schooler. You know, come to think of it, that thought only made my neck hurts. But seriously speaking, I want to ask this question.
Am I actually regressing? I don’t know. It’s like I can’t face the world seriously and I tend to daydream a lot. It’s like I’m doing the things that was somehow robbed from me during my childhood. I can’t recall myself having fun when I was a child. All I can remember was me crying in one corner because of some relatives hitting me and scolding me. I could still recall my father hitting my butt with a stick when I was young. I don’t know why the sad memories were more prominent in my mind than the good ones, though. And I’m starting to hate it. Can’t I just recall smething good for most of the time?
I don’t really want to welcome bad vibes on this second day of 2016. But with what happened today, I really can’t help it.
Nagbalik si Alexis sa kanilang hacienda matapos ang sampung taong pamamalagi niya sa Canada, patuloy na baon ang isang alaalang sumugat sa kanyang puso. Sa paniniwalang namatay sa isang aksidente ang kanyang pinakamamahal na kaibigang si Angela, hindi na kailanman natutunan ni Alexis na ibaling sa iba ang nararamdaman.
Ngunit sa kanyang pagbabalik, laking-gulat niya nang makitang buhay na buhay si Angela. Subalit lalong sumugat sa kanyang puso ang sitwasyon ngayon ng dalagaーtulala, hindi nagsasalita at lumpo. Sa paghahangad na ibalik sa dati ang dalaga, tinuklas ni Alexis ang nangyari sa kaibigan.
At isang lihim ang natuklasan niyang magdadala sa kanilang lahat sa kapahamakan...
xxxxxx
Date started: March 31, 2008
Date finished: July 19, 2008
Love story of Alexis Cervantes of the Cervantes (White Rose) clan and Angela dela Vega of the Dela Vega (Red Rose) clan.