Okay. It’s Friday night. Pero two days ago, may isang bagay talaga akong na-realize nang husto. Alam n’yo ba kung ano `yon? Malas talaga ang number 13 sa buhay ko. for the most part of my life, iyon ang isa sa mga bagay na napuna ko. It has something to do with dates. Aside from this, I tried doing my best to avoid this number for some weird reason.
Hindi ko naman masabing mapamahiin akong tao para ma-realize ko ito. Pero inaamin ko na naniniwala ako sa mga pamahiin. Most of the time, consciously or not, sinusunod ko ang karamihan sa mga iyon. Avoiding the number 13 was one of them kahit hindi talaga ako sigurado sa mga pamahiing kakabit ng numerong ito.
Anyway, the blog post I’m writing right now doesn’t have to do with superstitions. Nabanggit ko lang iyon dahil nga two days ago, specifically July 13, dumating `yong result/feedback ng MS about sa story ni Akio. It was rejected. In fairness to me, hindi naman ganoon kasakit na gaya ng inaasahan ko. In fact, as if the understanding part of me suddenly surfaced as I read the comments. Along with this, I’m also saddened about one thing. I think I’m losing my inspiration. Or should I say, I’m losing hope that I would achieve what I’ve really dreamed about for the longest time. Hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pa haharapin ang mundo at ang realidad kapag wala na talagang nangyayari sa lahat ng mga effort ko. Napag-iiwanan na ako, sa totoo lang. Pero wala na akong magawa. I’m still trying to break free, but it isn’t that easy at all.
Going back to the real topic [before I completely lose it], may kinalaman ang blog post na ito sa mga character ng “Five Thorned Blades”—formerly “The Last Sky of the Earth”. And now, the title would be changed again to “Celestial Points”. It was their names that I should change—and I mean nearly all of them. Of course, may mga mare-retain since wala namang problema sa pangalan ng mga iyon. Mukhang mahirap panindigan ang mga Japanese name nila. I know that, if I do this, I would lose the original feels and touch that intended to put in the series. But for the after-stories and side stories’ sake, this change should be done.
Hopefully, wala namang masyadong aberya at frustrations sa mga pangalang naisip ko para sa kanila. Ang pinakaproblema ko na lang, `yong mismong mga kuwento kung saan lalabas ang ilan sa mga character na ito. Writing their love stories would be the hardest part. Lalo pa’t may kasamang action ang mga iyon.
I wonder if I’d be able to overcome my problem when it comes to inputting the characterization of the characters into my writing. Ito kasi ang pinakaproblema ko ngayon, eh.
Hopefully, I’d be able to.
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