(poem) Born To Love You

We want to handle fate in our hands in what we do

But things can't always go the way you want it to

We might cry down our knees and try to break a wall

But this is bnot enough for us to stumble and fall

Everyone has been born for a reason that's certain

But finding that reason might get people insane

And I know why I was born in this world

Even if many things can turn a heart cold

I know that I was born to make someone smile

A smile that he never showed for a long while

I want to make him feel happy at the very least

For I don't want his life to be covered in mist

I know I was born to give care to someone

A special care that I can't simply give to anyone

I want to make him feel that he's not alone

In this world where he can't move on his own

I felt like I was born to love a certain person

The one that will keep my love holding on

I may not be able to give a feeling without strife

But I know now, that I was born to love you for life

(poem) A Way To Your Love

I thought I could live fully without falling in love

But I guess loving someone is a part that we have

We only need to control this blazing feeling

So that we won't end up completely falling

I've walked and walked around to find you

But I think you won't easily make me go through

For you've built a labyrinth around your world

So everyone won't treat you so cold

I've tried to listen to what my mind says

But my heart puts my doubts in a place

A place where love can replace all my doubts

By putting trust to continue everything out

Troubles might destroy the path leading to you

But the hope in my heart makes me live through

I even dreamed of loving you one day

A day that in my heart will eternally stay

I compared your love to the highest star

Because you won't let me reach your heart that's far

But I'll try my hardest to reach the stars above

Because I want to find a way to your love

(poem) This Time For Real

What a beautiful sight in the sky

With soaring little birds and colorful butterflies

A sight so pretty but it's not enough

To get rid of this pain that makes my heart rough

Living in pain is a terrible way

Of living in this world each coming day

Because I believe in those words that's sweet

And enough to race my heartbeat

I lived now in a world that's sad

While this pain devours my heart real bad

Because you left me here in the dark alone

The same way you found me here on my own

I dreamed of a love so true since before

Before I decided to open some new door

But in the end, I suffered so much

Because of depression that I couldn't watch

But I won't make the same mistake

That will make me in tears will shiver and shake

For I won't let pain that my heart will feel

Because I know I will find it this time for real

(poem) If Ever I Fall In Love

I have never loved someone in this time of mine yet

because I didn't have a chance to look at those people I've met.

I may have passed the Christmas and New Year without it,

yet my heart completely yearns for it and never in a bit.

If ever I fall in love with a person different from me,

I won't ever look at our differences that others can see.

It doesn't matter to those who truly loves you so,

like waiting leisurely at the cold, white blanket of snow.

If ever I fall in love with someone I didn't mean to love,

I can't even forsee what kind of life I'm going to have

even when I know that life has unexpected surprises and thrills

that this simple thought I had can't simply locate in hills.

If ever I fall in love with the person that secretly loves me,

I know I would be glad like the sun that smiles happily.

I hope that this person sees through my heart that beats;

a beat that only your heart can feel and hear it.

But time passes by so fast that I can't even notice,

yet I'm still walking down my path that I will never miss.

If ever a time comes that I fall in love with someone,

I only hope his feelings will never run away and be gone.

For The Love Of Yuri 5 - For The Sake Of Love

"It can't be… Ryuuji?" Erika muttered in extreme shock.

Ryuuji smirked.

"It's a good thing you know me… Erika Shibuya."

She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. She couldn't believe it!

The man that became the reason why she had to be separated from Yuri and the others a long time ago… why she had to do an unbelievable task in order to protect Yuri.

But before she could react even further, she saw Ryuuji was about to strike her down using a katana. It looked like he really wanted to kill her and Yuri, but this is something she couldn't allow to happen. She has yet to do something in order for Yuri and Wolfram to find the happiness they both deserve from each other. It's enough that both had to suffer because of a decision to end something as special as Yuri and Wolfram's friendship. She wouldn't allow someone to die because of it.

(poem) The Only Reason

I can't tell how much I thank God for you came

In my life where I thought I'll always be the same

But you changed me and my heart all in a day

And you even released all of my doubts away

You let me live a life that made me feel new

And I can see the sky has a different kind of blue

I can feel a different kind of peace when you're with me

Mkaing me see the new person that I'm going to be

You're an example of a dawn that lits up the world

For you showed me that the night will end its cold

You showed me a new beginning that I should face

But will never be complete without your love in that place

You've raised the curtain of an endless night

And it had given me so much gladness and delight

I'm happy that I've met you in this world somehow

Because you're the only reason that I exists right now

You're the only reason I could feel true love

And it's a gift that I never thought I'll have

Just make a pledge to me as I love you, too

Love me forever so I can live together with you

Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

First Christmas greeting na maipo-post ko rito sa blog ko. Weird ba? Ewan ko lang. Pero mas okay na siguro ito para nga may variation ang mga naka-post dito. Hindi ko na naman alam kung saan patutungo ang daloy ng isipan ko pagdating sa mga maiisipan kong ilagay sa blog ko. Pero dahil para sa akin naman ito mostly, bahala na si life sa magiging kahihinatnan ng mga pinaglalalagay ko rito. Baka nga one of these days, maisipan ko pang ilagay ang journal entries ko from way back 2006. Wow! Almost isang dekada na pala. Ang tagal, ah.

Wala naman akong masabing kakaiba pagdating sa Christmas celebration namin ngayon. Maybe except for the fact na may tension na dahil na rin sa nangyari kina Mama at Papa. Magulo na talaga, eh. Kahit sabihin pang inaasahan na namin na umabot sa ganito, iba pa rin pala 'yong feeling kapag nandiyan na.

Should I even call this a good Christmas? Puwede siguro. Nandito pa naman kaming magkakapatid, eh. Nasa poder pa rin naman kami ni Mama. Sigurado, magiging mahirap. Pero... kakayanin naman siguro. Tingnan na lang natin.

(poem) Twice In A Lifetime

Why did I feel hurt when I let you go before

When I knew I have loved you from my heart's core?

I knew I couldn't go back no matter how I want to return

And I never had a chance to change my life's turn

If only I could be given a chance to change my past

Then maybe I could make my love for you surely last

But I don't have enough power nor the guts to wait

For I couldn't counter the cards dealt by my fate

I've regretted everything that I once thought was best

And I kept on asking this question inside my chest

Will I be able to let you feel and know

The devastating pain of letting you go?

If only I could find a love like I've felt for you twice

Then I guess everything would feel so nice

It's like loving you for the second time in my life

So I'll never feel the pain that cuts like a knife

But no matter how I think and remember the past

I can only wish for something in this world that run fast

If only in my lifetime, I could feel something nice again

If only in a lifetime, I could love you more than twice here and then

(poem) Too Young To Love

I remember a memory of when I was a kid

As I found a flower that dropped a little seed

It's the same way my so-called love for him

Was trampled has shattered my only greatest dream

I don't want to recall that past of mine anymore

But somehow, my mind travels to that time before

And I can't help but to feel the pain inside

Because of a feeling that I cursed for it lied

My love for him was only a lie that I should forget

A mere memory that I should never regret

And in spite of the pain that I've felt back then

I guess I should be thankful for I've felt heaven

Loving him before made me reach heaven in my heart

Though I've known it's unrequited and might break apart

And I lose my pride and unwillingly had my feelings burn

Then I ended up hurting my heart and my love in return

Now I've found out that I was too young back then

Too young to fall in love at the age of eleven

Too young to release the feelings that in my heart I store

And I know now that I was too young to love before

(poem) The Bleeding Heart

I woke up this morning with circles under my eyes

Because I've cried so much for the past I couldn't revise

And I hate the night from coming down the world

Because it's when everything felt so lonely and cold

I can tell that a part of myself longs for you

But the other part seems to hate you so true

For you left me here broken as I cried in despair

Even worst from the pain of falling down the stairs

I've never fell the sun shines on me as bright as before

For you have made my heart bleed to the very core

And no matter how much I stumble here and fall

You wouldn't be here anymore to help me stand tall

I couldn't listen to my mind even though I wanted to

For my heart keeps on calling your name as I remember you

I cried and cried as I felt the pain of my bleeding heart

As if each drop of tears is slowly slipping it apart

I want to know one thing as I try to get rid of the pain

Before I become completely drenched in broken heart's rain

Will I feel the same love that I've felt back then?

Will I be able to find your love once again?

(poem) Just A Breath Away

I'm here in my room as I listen to a song

That I want to hear again as it plays along

It reminds me of something from the past

That might have completed me if I let it last

I let myself cry as I recalled a memory

Along with all the pain that it left inside of me

But I know that no matter how I try to recall

I can't turn back to the past that made me fall

I considered myself a jerk as I remember it

And it hurts me completely as I recall a bit

Why did I let his love for me slipped away?

Why didn't I hear his pleading to me that day?

He showed me something that I never saw before

But there are questions that show as I forcefully close my door

He's not perfect as I picture him in my mind

But is it enough for me to leave him behind?

I shouldn't have listened to what my mind had told

Because now, I begin to regret as I endured the winter cold

How come I never listened to my heart as it say

That the love I want is just a breath away?

For The Love Of Yuri 4 - Is This Goodbye?

"End your friendship with him? Have you gone insane?" Erika blurted out just after she heard Yuri's decision. After a while, she just sighed heavily and slightly shook her head in disbelief as she rubbed her temples. Seriously, what was this guy thinking? "So that's it? You're just simply going to end everything that both of you had able to earn for the last ten years?" she asked with slight sarcasm in her voice.

But Yuri didn't say anything. So he'd really decided. She knew Yuri when it comes to decision-making. He would let no one stop him once he decided something, especially as important as this. But then, she couldn't help but to feel sad about Yuri's abrupt and obviously insane decision. She knew for the start that Yuri will definitely suffer for this; not unless his feelings for Wolfram were not as real as it seem to be… not even strong enough to surpass this trial that Conrad might have given just to prove Yuri's strength to fight for his love… to prove Yuri's love for Wolfram.

(poem) The Second Time To Love

I tried to follow what my heart wants

As I listen to its music that chants

But I ended up broken and scattered

And he left me here like I never mattered

So now I am scared and completely fragile

And I promised not to fall in love for a while

For all I can do is cry silently as I hug my knees

While wishing for his return as I beg him please

And then you showed up when I never knew

That I could feel a love that might be true

I felt so much doubt but still you gave me

A love that is more than what I want to see

I tried to stay away from your caressing love

Yet my heart told me it's a past I should have

And now I want to forget a tormenting past

But I couldn't get rid of it for it seems to last

I don't know if I could trust love once more

Yet you're willing to give me a chance to explore

But I'll never let my heart in pain will be eaten

If you could give me the second time to love again

(poem) Inerasable Memories

I can't remember the last time I smiled

As I count all the regrets that were piled

Why did I love someone "stupid" like you?

Why forgetting you made me feel so blue?

I wanted to cry as I feel the pain inside

And even my heart felt numb as love died

But memories of a past kept it on living

Just to make it kind again and loving

My memories that I had by your side

Kept on destroying what I feel inside

And it made me cry even more

As I remember our moments before

And now as I remember the past

Why can't I make it eternally last?

Why can't you just stay here

In order for me not to feel fear?

I want to throw away those memories

Just to get rid of all the pains and worries

But they remained inerasable as time passed

No matter how I do my best to have it surpassed

(poem) Journey To Your Heart

I was hurt so bad that I couldn't stand

And no one around me tried to reach my hand

I was hurt emotionally because he went

As he left my heart here being forcely bent

I couldn't even walk all through the mountain top

And now my heart was on the verge of giving up

Now I know I couldn't find another true love

The very same feeling that he made me once have

But as I keep on walking down this dark road

I saw a light that released all of my heavy load

And as I looked, I saw you standing from afar

Smiling brightly like the shimmering star

Did I feel this the same way like before?

Or I'm guessing it was flowing even more?

But why do I still have worries inside of me

That gives me fear of what this love will turn out to be?

Now I know I found another love so true

But it's not giving to be easy as I make it to you

Still, I will keep on believing that a love will start

As I begin to make a journey to your heart

Happy birthday sa umpisa ng Simbang Gabi

Alam kong inumpisahan ko pa lang ito. Pero gusto ko namang maiba ang mga naka-post dito kahit papaano. And because pulos mga tula ang naisipan kong ilagay ko as part of my daily entries, parang ang boring naman kung ganoon lang palagi. Ang tagal ko na ring hindi nagsusulat ng tula kaya kung ano na lang talaga ang maisipan kong i-post dito para lang magkalaman ito sa ngayon.

And with that, gusto ko namang gamitin ang blog na ito as a greeting corner sa mga taong special sa akin. Naks! May ganoon talaga? Joke lang.

First up sa greeting --- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DES! She's my sister one year and three months younger than me. Pero sa totoo lang, parang mas mature pa siya kumpara sa akin. Ang weird, 'di ba? Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin sa 'yo. You may or may not read this. At kahit hindi ako malambing katulad mo, sana ma-appreciate mo pa rin ito. Kung minsan kasi, nakakalokang mag-post ng mga ganito sa FB. Ang sappy, para sa akin. Weird ba? Anyway, ano'ng bago? Lagi namang weird ang nag-iisang ate mo. Hehe!

Love you, sis! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

(poem) Will There Be A Next Time?

You said you love me, and yet you left me out here

And you broke your promise that I held on so dear

Being left all alone in a world of eternal dark

And the pain of losing you that resides inside left a bleeding mark

I'm asking for a second chance to love you

But you never even looked at me because everything's through

So now I cry in one corner of the cold, dark room

As I watch the flower of love that's losing its bloom

I felt that pain killed my heart more than twice

And I couldn't express it in a way that's concise

All I know is that it prevents me from standing again

So that a new heart and life I wouldn't be able to gain

Losing you before made me lose my faith in love

And it made me never to believe in God above

But He gave me another reason to go on with this life

Even if I have to unwillingly suffer this so much strife

I want to know if I could find the same feeling again

Even if I had suffered enough as I bear this pain

I wonder as I hear the grandfather clock tick-tock and chime

When it comes to true love, will there be a next time?

(poem) Gift Of The Present

Once I dreamt about a love from the distant past

The war I saw there made all sufferings seemed to last

But two innocent hearts found their way out

And trie to live their lives with no falsehood and doubt

A promise made their love much stronger than anything

But people around them won't stop tearing it to nothing

And their love ended in a tragedy no one can bear

As they watched their feelings being flown in the air

Then I've found out that I was that person

The person who fell in love once as she held on

And as our souls were transmigrated to this world

The feelings in me doesn't really seems to cold

I found you and your love as I kept on traveling this street

And then you remembered a past along with your heartbeat

A past where our feelings had been destroyed once

But I hope our love now will be given another chance

I'll treasure you much longer than forever, I'm sure

For your gentle love had healed the heart's wound like it's the cure

Finding you again in this world was a gift that God has sent

And the love that you gave me before is now a gift of the present

For The Love Of Yuri 3 - Flame Of A Forbidden Love

Yuri's POV

I walked slowly after I went out of the hospital building. But before I completely left that place, I looked at the building with a sad and hopeless expression etched on my face. The sun began to set that time… and along with its sad color that lit up the world for the last time of the day, I could feel that the hope inside my heart began to disappear with the setting sun.

What Conrad told me a while back made me lose hope that Wolfram would reciprocate my feelings for him. I couldn't even remember how I managed to get up after listening to those words that Conrad had spoken.

(poem) Please Come Back

I was left in the dark alone

Sitting in a dark, cold throne

Crying for love that I want to keep

Even wishing for it to be deep

My heart cried in so much blood

And now, it's hastily making a flood

For it's making my heart suffer so much

And it's one thing that I couldn't watch

Outside, the rain fell so hard

That I couldn't just discard

Because I know it cries with me

For a love that left rapidly

Please return to me and love me again

For I couldn't bear this so much pain

I never want to suffer this long

Listening to our sweet love song

Please come back to me, my love

Because I only want you for me to have

I couldn't simply live in memories

Because my heart will die... so please...

(poem) Part Of A Forgotten Past

Once I dreamed of a love story

A story where you came to me

Begging to remember a love before

That had now become a closed door

I've forgotten them because of an encounter

That made me lose the power to counter

Counter the cards of fate and all the pain

Of losing everything that you made me gain

I want to remember a love so true

That I think I have given to you

I've felt that for once in my life

I never suffered this kind of strife

All of these were just a little part

Of the missing pieces inside my heart

A part of a love that happened once

A love that was never a simple trance

All of these are part of a past

That had been forgotten so fast

But your love had made me remember

A promise that stays in me forever

(poem) In Life And In Death

I've met you with tears falling from your eyes

Crying for years with your heart covered in ice

And I warmed your heart with my fire of love

Even if you don't want it for you to have

We lived in a world full of emotional wars

And they've stretched out just like the stars

Filling each hearts with pains and distress

And some weren't given a chance to confess

I made a pledge that can last for eternity

A pledge that will make our love flows steady

And as we're about to face a deadly war

I hope our faith can stand out really far

In life and in death, we will be together eternally

It's a pledge that will surely live within me

No matter where this life of ours may take us

I know that each hardships, we'll be able to surpass

We have surpassed some of life's greatest tests

And now, we could be able to live normally like the rest

In this life of mine, I'll love you until my last breath

And I will continue loving you even after death

(poem) The Day I Found Forever In You

I constantly wondered about love

Sure, it's everyone wanted to have

But why weren't they even ready

To face the consequences steadily?

When the day I found your love

I felt my heart fly like a dove

For a feeling so precious and real

Like you have a power for a wound to heal

When the day you left me before

I felt my heart each day as it sore

The pain slowly tore it in two

As I cry my eyes out because of you

When the day you returned to me

I thought I was dreaming as I see

But when you touched me so gentle and sweet

I've felt like I've returned to the day we meet

Now I know you won't leave me again

For I never thought you suffered the same pain

And I know I'll always feel a love this true

Since the day I found forever in you

(poem) The Feeling That Passes Time

I saw the past of a love once destroyed

Because the girl's heart seemed to be toyed

And as she cursed it with all she got

Her feelings had then began to rot

But then the boy made her understand

As he slowly touched her cold hand

And as she cried because of her mistake

He then hugged as she shiver and shake

Love is a feeling that anyone can feel

It's what makes everything exist for real

Love is a feeling that will go on and on

It's a feeling that can be worth holding on

Love is one emotion no one can control

No matter how we try it not to roll

It's a feeling that will continue on

Even if you're a different person

Love can't be found easily for sure

But let your destiny makes you assure

Love is a feeling that passes time

So that anyone can feel it anytime

(poem) Founder Of A Lost Heart

I walked and walked through the snow

As my feelings were rolling so slow

It's starting to freeze as i fell

But no one can hear me as I yell

If only I could make it all stop

All the pain that I couldn't drop

Then I won't suffer something this way

As if everything were just a simple play

I wanted my life to somehow stop

But then you suddenly showed up

You wanted me to live fully again

Like the way that I'd lived then

Everything around me went slow

But still you continued your little show

For now you're fixing a heart shattered

Where love fell as the pieces scattered

You're the founder of a lost heart

The one who won't tear it apart

Please just promise me one thing

Make our love continue to sing

For The Love Of Yuri 2 - Now Or Never

Gwendal and Conrad called an ambulance in order to take Wolfram to the hospital. And it only took 10 minutes for them to get there.

On the way, Conrad was still thinking about the poem that the blond had written a while back… and also the message attached to it. Both he and Gwendal never thought that their baby brother would actually fall in love with a young man who became his only friend since the day that they transferred to Yuri's neighborhood.

(poem) One Like You For The Second Time

Sadness was the emotion I didn't want to feel

Because it slowly devours my heart, ready to kill

But still, I've felt it the day you suddenly vanished

And now my heart was beginning to perish

I want to know if I could meet another you

For only you made me feel a love so true

I wonder if he could make me feel it again

Feel a love that will vanish all of the pain

I want to settle my mind to the past that we lost

And I want to take it back no matter the cost

But then I've met a person who made me feel

The same emotion I've felt when meeting you became real

What's with him that vanishes all my pain?

Why do I feel this same feeling once again?

Could he be another person destined to be mine?

Or will he leave me for his life is on the line?

I've felt like I've met you for the second time

But he's still different from you even if he mimes

But I won't make him feel that he's another you

For I can't live in memories that I can't continue

(poem) A Daydream Come True

I remained to be a simple person before I met you

You're charming everyone, and that includes me, too

But you never took a glance of me anyway

So how come you're making me feel this way?

Each and every time that I stay in my little bed

I kept on remembering what a person once said

That in just a second, attraction is what you'll have

A minute to have a crush, and an hour to fall in love

I wonder if that can really come true for real

Because every word seemed to match what I feel

And now I'm thinking of what should I do

As a sweet daydream in my mind ran through

I listen to my heart as it keeps on telling me

That a daydream will not be the same as reality

But I never thought that my daydream can come true

Because now you're saying to me the words "I love you"

I figured out that everything was never a simple dream

Because I've felt a love that flowed like a stream

It came from the person I never thought I'll love

A person that was a gift for me from God above

(poem) The Time You Were Once Mine

Once I found a flower that's beginning to wither

It's the only flower that's different from the other

And then I figured that its life began to scatter

Because its heart was left there as it shatters

That little flower can somehow be compared to me

For the person I once loved left me here so he could flee

He left me here crying and wishing for his return

And even hoping that my life won't take a different turn

I couldn't leave there for me to move on completely

For I couldn't afford to leave our golden memory

A memory that became a proof of us together

And I wouldn't forget it one way or another

A second chance is what I'm asking from you

For me to prove that my love has always been true

But instead, you never came to my side again

And you left me here as I bear all the sorrow and pain

I've felt that I've lost everything when you left me

But I'm still standing here asking Him to answer my plea

I only wish that the Lord would give me the sign

For I want to return to the time you were once mine

(poem) A Part Of My Yesterday

Before I found another person that I could love

I was once a person no one wanted to have

That no one wanted to be my friend

So I've felt that my life had come to an end

I wanted to know if I was meant to live

For I've felt that I have nothing left to believe

But then you came to my life and saved me

And you let me live my life completely

The love I found beside you had helped me through

You made me live my life that was once so blue

But I couldn't tell you the feelings in my heart

For I was afraid that you'll break that love apart

And then you said to me that you'll go away

Because you don't want my life to go astray

But you promised me that you'll return to my side

Just to make me feel assured and never afraid inside

This was the part of my past that I want to live on

A precious yesterday that I'll keep on holding on

Just remember that I'll wait for you here

For me to let you know that I love you, my dear

(poem) All I Can Remember

Inside my head, there's a nearly fading memory

of all the past that once happened to me.

It's fading slowly as years came rolling by,

like a little bird that is eager to fly.

New memories keep on being created and born

while others had disappeared, being blotted and torn.

No matter how much I wanted to recall,

my mind can't go up to where it's started to fall.

I want to picture everything in my mind;

every memories and scenes that I could able to find.

Happiness and sadness, including laughter and cries.

It's always these emotions that no one buys.

But as these memories slowly fade away,

one keeps on standing out as I start my day.

It's your face and smile and the way you treated me.

That's what my mind more often wanted to see.

It's my day with you, that's all I can remember,

starting from January and extending till December.

If the wings of my memories had been blown away,

my memories with you will surely cling on and stay.

(poem) No Matter What Happens

Living without you made my future so cold

Even miserable without your love for me to hold

And if fate might not fulfill my wish today

I hope it will finally come true someday

As I walked down the road that felt so lonely

I wished that I could hold your hand firmly

But that promised day might not happen for now

So I keep on wishing that day will come somehow

I want to choose a path that'll lead me to you

So I could be able to let you feel a love so true

Though I can't always do it in an obvious way

I only hope my action can make everything stay

No matter what kind of obstacles will lie on the road

We'll conquer all of it and even let it explode

For us to grasp the life that we wanted to have

A life so beautiful that will be filled with love

I want to let you feel that I love you so much

Just like the stars in the night that you always watch

And no matter what happens to this life of mine

My love for you will remain the stars that eternally shine

For The Love Of Yuri 1 - True And Yet Hidden

Summary:

For so long, Wolfram had love Yuri but never managed to admit it to him for one reason. And as his feelings slowly began to crumble at a realization that Yuri will never acknowledge his feelings for him, Wolfram unknowingly expressed his feeling in a way that only he will know that he loved Yuri more than anyone else.

---

I waved hi to Yuri when I saw him at the church one day. I accidentally saw him there since I was about to ask for guidance for the upcoming exam tomorrow. Even though he saw me, it seemed that the smile I saw on his face wasn't meant for me.

That made me stop.

(poem) A Heavenly Love In A Hell-Like World

Now we're witnessing a world that suffers

Because they didn't notice one emotion that scatters

And as the dark clouds cover the blue sky completely

I wonder if we could live it like this totally

I almost fell into despair when I was lost

Because I've taken a path where I follow a ghost

A ghost that haunts my mind about a past

It keeps on saying that everything won't last

Though that phrase might be true in some way

Still, there are some that will remain and stay

And if ever you've felt a love that's true

Then you'll know what I'm trying to say to you

We're living in a world that's compared to hell

For I've witnessed people in suffering they fell

But your love for me felt so heavenly

That kept me flying above the sea

You saved me from the hell I've been through

When you made me feel a love that I know is true

And I can tell that my heart will never feel so cold

Because I've felt a heavenly love in a hell-like world

(poem) To Where Our Dreams Lie

I used to dream that's as high as a star

That I couldn't even reach because everything's so far

And as I try to chase my dream that ran

I've felt that my life was then over and done

You've met me here where my dreams started to fall

I just cried here and didn't do anything at all

But you wiped my tears away and made me smile

And I'll never forget it even for a while

I can't forget those memories that are sweet

And it's enough for it to race my heartbeat

I know that everything was never a trance

Because I can feel like I was given another chance

The wind blew around so harshly as I walk

Too cold to feel that I couldn't even talk

But your warm touch made me feel happy

A feeling that I won't forget for eternity

You came to me and fixed my shattered dreams

And now together, we're crossing our lives' streams

So we could go to a place where feelings never die

To the sacred place where our dreams lie

(poem) The Chosen Tomorrow

I've lost the person I love the most

For he protected me as his life was the cost

And as I cried so hard in front of him

I've felt my life was beginning to dim

I've lost the only chance to say what I feel

To the only person that I've loved for real

Losing him made me my world a dark place

Living inside of it where I can't see any face

I want to listen to what my heart is saying

But certain circumstances kept me on denying

Denying the fact that I love you so

But there's a past I couldn't let go

Loving you didn't make my heart feel sore

For pain and agony is what I've suffered before

Loving someone again made me a bit afraid

To face the world again where love never fade

You awakened a love sleeping in my heart

And a promise you made to me won't tear it apart

Because I chose to stay by your side forever

A chosen tomorrow that I want for us to share together

(poem) Keep Waiting For Love

I'm stick inside a wall of clear glass

Connected together so I can't pass

I'm inside of it, watching outside

Always missing out the life's ride

But when you came to my life

I felt like I'm a saved wife

Being battered and had endured enough

From a husband that beat so tough

I've waited for love that came from you

That will make me complete and true

For your love believes in everlasting

It can even do the impossible thing

But you went away after you changed me

Into a beautiful person I never thought I'll be

So here I am now, staring at the silver moon

Waiting and wishing that you come back soon

Believing that you'll return to me

Is what my heart's reason not to flee

So even if forever I'm going to have

I'll just stay here, keep waiting for your love

【poem】I Need To Know

Sweet, gentle wind began to blow around

as a tiny seed started to grow on the ground.

There are mysteries that people want to know

that the new world can't help but to reveal and show.

But one mystery remained a mystery as time passed.

I couldn't find an answer just by looking through the glass.

I need to know what is this feeling inside me;

an unusual beating of the heart that couldn't flee.

I need to know why my heart beats in such a hurry.

Whenever I see you pass my way, I wanted to scurry.

But my face had already engraved a warm smile

that I've never shown to anyone else for a while.

Love is a feeling that's mysterious but never new

and it's never an easy one to handle and give a clue.

Chance can never do anything about this emotion

and it can't simply be undone by a thousand potions.

There are a lot of things that I wanted to find out,

even the feeling in my heart that's blazing about.

I need to know if this is a feeling that I can have.

I need to know if this is an emotion called love.

【poem】All Of Those Times

Thinking of you is really hard

Like playing the trick of the card

Can't easily think of a next move

Not as easy as going with the groove

All of those times, I think of you

Even if it's just an hour, I felt blue

Because I can't hear your serenading voice

But I know I don't have a choice

All of those times, I miss your smile

And I haven't seen them for quite a while

But remembering you still completes me

Even if we're apart, blocked by the sea

All of those times, I long for your touch

Giving me the courage to go through so much

I know I could wait for your return

But my heart had suffered so much burn

All of those times, I truly miss you

And I know I still love you so true

Alone, I couldn't face the world that's tough

So please come back to me soon enough

The Last Unbreakable Promise

Disclaimer: I don't own Kyo Kara Maou and its characters.

Author's Note: I just wanted to try something here, okay? So please give me you honest opinions about this story. I used one of the poems I wrote last year (specifically December, 2009). And please don't hate me for letting Yuri die in this story. So happy reading and please don't forget to leave your reviews. And I'm telling you, if this one works out, then possibly I'll continue writing YuuRam stories. Enjoy reading!

Warning: Character death. Characters are undeniably not in their usual selves.

-xxxxxx

He's gone… King Yuri's gone…

Those words mentioned by Gisela didn't really hit Wolfram until he went inside Yuri's room and saw that the king's face was covered with a blanket. Yuri was just lying there… breathless… lifeless… no sign of life at all.

He doesn't want to believe it. It can't be. Yuri couldn't possibly leave him out here. He promised that he'll always be with him… Always…

【poem】Somewhere In My Heart

A lonely heart lies very still

Her eyes closed upon her will

Feeling the sweet wind blows

And listening to the river's gentle flows

Somewhere in my heart, I cry

Because of fate and its terrible lie

I thought I'd already found the one

The person who shines on me like the sun

But everything I've felt was just a lie

And now I feel my heart as it slowly dies

Being torn into pieces as it continuously bleed

Watering the soil of anger with the hatred's seed

Somewhere in my heart, I long for one

The only one who will let the pain be done

The only one who will become true to me

And will never hurt my love and then flee

Hope I'll never get to do what's worse

Even letting my mouth say a dreadful curse

But I might be able to forgive him someday

I only hope that moment will soon come my way

【poem】Lead Me To Your Heart

You lost the one you love, so now you're all alone,

bearing all the pain inside like the world was your own.

But your tears never had a chance to fall

because you never want to show it all.

Being with you eternally is what I want to achieve.

But your heart never stops crying and it continues to grieve.

The word "eternal" might not exists right now.

So maybe in another life, we'll find it somehow.

Rains kept on pouring as you walk down your road sadly.

But I'm just here by your side, even though you don't bother to look and see.

I wanted to seek for signs that might help me out

and would never give my heart a lot of lies and doubt.

I just love being by your side, supporting you all the way,

like a real loving friend that will always be here to stay.

But I wonder if I'm really just a friend to you

because right now, I couldn't think of what else to do.

Just lit up the flame to guide me to those given signs

while I walk the path that could connect our different lines.

Lines that might separate our beliefs and become apart.

But I'll continue walking down the road that will lead me to your heart.

【poem】In Silence Where Love Lies

In silence lies a lot of feelings and emotions

and it depends on us how to stop its manifestations.

Though it lies in deep dimensions of silence,

it's up to us how we could have it sensed.

My nights were always gloomy and cold since before

ㅡbefore I managed to meet someone who touched my heart's core.

He lit a small flame in the middle of the dark path I walk

and guided me to get out of the darkness where I couldn't talk.

I let my heart trust him for he had saved me from there.

I even want to have a feeling so eternal for us to share.

But it seems that I couldn't love him more than ever

because of an oath that he made that can't be broken forever.

So he left me to save another lonely soul in the dark,

like what he did to me before and even left a mark.

But he let my heart be kept in a blaze so it won't be sad

and the love inside of it will never run so bad.

My heart lies again in the midst of darkness and silence,

yet a blazing feeling called love never let it be tensed.

It knows that one day, its flame will scatter and grant love

like the blossoms of the cherry tree that float in the sky above.

【poem】I Really Didn't Mean To Love You

I keep on walking the path alone before,

But I can't even see the end as I walk even more.

Rains and snows just keep on falling on the ground.

Just wet and white world is what you can see around.

I let myself walk the path all alone

and I can't even have a feeling I call my own.

Until I found another set of footprints beside mine

and the golden sun had finally began to shine.

Racing hearts and reddish faces, can't even talk nor look at you;

actions that depicted my sudden feelings that are true.

It's because you came my way as you walk along with me

and now my heart don't know if it will flee.

I want to stop my heart from beating continuously

each and every time I watch you coming near me.

You're not even the person that I want to be with forever,

but you keep on saying that you're not leaving me, ever.

Though I tried my best to stop myself from loving you,

my real self was now complete and you never made it blue.

Now I don't know what I'm going to do

for I know that I really didn't mean to love you.

【poem】At Least For Now

The day started out with the warmth from the yellow sun

that kissed the flowers on the grass one after one.

Even the green lushes of the trees swayed along

while the soft, sweet wind from the north blew for long.

As I opened my window to brighten up my room,

my eyes wandered outside to somehow ease up my gloom.

As I set my eyes on the sidewalk in front of my house,

there's the racing beats of my heart here inside me arouse.

My hand suddenly froze while placed down on the window pane

and I felt that my heart beats faster, that's why I felt the pain

because a glimpse of you pierced it harder than before

and it even managed to reach out my heart's very core.

I've never felt something like this for once in this lifetime

and as I looked at you again, I've felt the slowing down of time.

Then you suddenly looked at me, smiling so gently and sweet,

like the first time I've met you on the very same street.

For now, it's enough that your smile makes my heart race

each and every time I had a chance to look at your face.

I know your presence can make my day work out somehow.

Then I'll be able to live my life happily ㅡ at least for now.

【poem】A World With You In It

We can only pass in this world that we live for once,

for I know all of us won't be given one more chance

to find out what out short lives wanted to look for

that we may fulfill before everything would become a closed door.

I've met you in a world that was engulfed in suffering,

yet it made us see a future like a star that's shimmering.

A future where love dwells in all the corners of our hearts

that gives color to our world like the brilliant pieces of art.

My heart wanted to say your name again and again forever

and let my feelings flow to you like a never-ending river.

For our world that's covered in pain's blizzard and snow,

let the warmth of our love melt it away and let the soft wind blow.

Living in the same world with you makes me feel glad

for it brought out the person I never thought I had.

That feeling made me feel better and loves you even more

and it never made my heart in serious pain will sore.

Our love can never promise eternal happiness between us,

yet I know those pains and hardships we'll be able to conquer and surpass.

So I would thank God that you came to my life for me to meet

and I'm glad that I have lived in a world with you in it.

Will You Wait For Me?

Summary: Mikan died from an unnamed terminal illness. And Natsume didn't know anything about it until the day she left. He couldn't believe she's gone. She's out of his life. Will he be able to cope up if sorrow and pain was drowning him? As he felt his life worthless, a girl showed up to hand over to Natsume the final message left by Mikan before she completely left.

xxxxxx

WILL YOU WAIT FOR ME?

It was raining hard outside the Iris Café. And the rain seemed to join him as he drowns himself in alcoholic drinks. In the café, there's a male pianist playing a melodious song that seemed to have come down from heaven. Every key he played, it pierced down through the core of his heart. It was as natural as love…

Love… Thinking of that word again made Natsume's heart break… in pain… in sorrow… in total agony. And thinking of this word made him think of the reason why he felt these tormenting emotions.

【poem】Ask My Heart

I never loved anyone in this world that's so true

like I have loved a person that I know is you.

Love is something precious that I need to take care.

When time comes, I'm able to hand it to someone for me to share.

You ask my heart if true love had ever been born here.

In my heart, I know I hold you so precious and dear

for I'm sure it will answer you only the truth inside

and won't let it be conquered and taken by my pride.

You ask my heart if I do really care about you

because you never showed it in something that I do.

But I can promise to you about one important thing,

that I will care for you no matter what life will bring.

You ask my heart if I have loved anyone this real.

But I'll answer your question with what I really feel.

Only you are the person that I've loved this much

and I'll keep on proving it even if you don't watch.

Just ask my heart if you ever feel unsure of my love

that I've saved and protected only for your heart to have.

Maybe that way, your heart will never worry this much

if you'll never have my love that only you can catch.

【poem】Of All The Love I Found

I have found different loves when I began to learn how.

But none of them had protected my heart the way you did now.

Those loves I've felt ruined my heart piece by piece

and I've never done anything for them to completely cease.

You found my heart broken and afraid to love again

for I never want to endure this so much agony and pain.

Yet you came to my life and gave me another good reason

to surpass this pain I'm feeling like flowing with the season.

You loved and protected my heart like a precious jewel

and you never acted in front of me like a rock-hard newel.

You assured that I could trust in those words you said

and I know you don't have any intentions for my heart to be misled.

Of all the love I found, yours have become a shining light

that enlightened my path, for it have turned to dark night.

You guided my heart and led it on the path that leads to you

and it knows that you'll never tear it in two.

You showed me the love that can fix a broken heart,

for it promises a feeling that won't break it apart.

I'm happy to say, "Of all the love I found along,

yours have restored my heart that sings our love's song."

【poem】If Only I Could

Deep in my heart, there's a ruthless pain that devours it

and it seems that it will never stop for even a little bit.

It started on the day you left me for another;

the person that I think you've promised forever.

If only I could make you say them again, those words, to me

ㅡthe words that are far sweeter than a chocolate candy,

then I would never have yearned for them once more

while sitting on my chair, facing the front door.

If only I could have embraced you here with me again

just to be able for me to feel love and fade the pain,

then everything that's dull around me might fade away

and having the warmth of your love brighten up my day.

If only I could turn back the time for even a bit,

then I could be able to set things back and correct it.

To return again to those times that I still have you,

giving me strength and courage to fight for what I need to do.

But it seems that everything for me is already too late

because I'm always in a hurry to know what's going to be my fate.

So now I'll keep myself on wiping my tears from my eyes that cried real good

that I know will make me say the words "if only I could."

【poem】What If...

The sun shone brightly in the sky like it always does.

But the gray clouds filled the blue sky as it soon pass.

Just like the day you said that you love me like no other

and you even promised that we will always be together.

What if I never trusted those sweet words of yours?

Then it shouldn't have slashed my heart by force.

Maybe, if I should have listened to my early premonition,

I think I will not cry for you because of depression.

What if I never saw your dashing smiles that surely charm?

Then I wouldn't be enticed with your smirk that harms.

Perhaps if I haven't made myself a fool and so much blind,

I should have fulfilled my dreams that were chained in my mind.

What if your love have never beguiled me in what I do?

Then you never have trampled down my love for you.

Maybe, if I let myself wait for the love that's for me,

I think I would have guessed what ny future will be.

What if I  never met a two-timimg person like you?

Then I guess you won't have a chance to hurt me, too.

Perhaps, if I focused myself in reality than living in a trance,

I know I would never have suffered this pain for once.

【poem】I Need You Back

For the years that have crossed, I've lived my life in the past.

It made my world run slow that once happened to be fast.

I was bound to your memories that made me cry all night.

Your memories have kept me away from the light.

I need you back in my life, that's the only thing I need

because I can never bear the loneliness that you, living me, did.

It's hard to pretend that I have lived a happy life

when the day you left me had slashed my heart with a knife.

Please rekindle the flame of love inside of my chest

ㅡthe love that died when I chose to do what I thought was best.

But I end up being depressed and my heart was tortured

and I think time doesn't have a medicine to had it cured.

I need you here with me so that my heart will be alive again

and never suffer in agony and sorrow that gives me this pain.

I need you beside me to embrace me when the world's cold

and lay a hand that gives me strength for me to hold.

Please forgive me for the biggest mistake I've ever done

because I've only realized that after the day you were gone.

I know crosscurrents of fate and time have divided our tracks.

But I'll still wait for you, because I need you back.

【poem】Until That Day Comes

I kept on wishing of me standing by your side,

smiling at the life with you that I want to ride.

But I guess I have to be patient and willing to wait

if it will come my way, or so it is said by fate.

For I won't let my heart fail me, especially now,

even to let my courage desert me in this way somehow.

I know that falling in love makes some people dumb.

But I won't let it happen if the day that reality comes.

I believe that this world has a lot of twists of fate

and it feels like missing a ride when you go on a date.

I won't let the cold reality and recent past makes me numb

for I will wait for the warmth of your love for me to come.

Love was the last of my plans for this future of mine.

But I never thought it would be kindled inside me to shine.

It keeps on shining whenever I see you near me,

including your smile that shows the person I'm going to be.

I know I can trust in my own heart that loves you true.

The light from the silver moon is the one that gives me a clue.

A love unquenchable by any trials is what I want to feel,

but I'll keep on wishing for it until that day comes for real.

【poem】Here To Stay

Encountering love is the miracle that God gave to us

for it's a delightful feeling that everyone will pass.

Though some people may have neglected this emotion

because it made them suffer from pain and depression.

But leaving you completely will never enter my mind

for my love is a promise that has become a bind.

A bind that won't separate our hearts that love one another.

A bind that has become a proof for us to be together.

Be with me, that's all I'm asking you to do for me

because I'll never bear the pain if you leave me and flee.

I know I've loved you more than I love myself

and that's one feeling that I'll always keep in my heart's shelf.

I know I can promise my love will only belong to you

because I know I have never loved anyone this true.

It's a feeling that no one can take away from your heart

for it will make our love the barrier that'll never break apart.

Eternity is what I can't promise to you, my love,

but I can make sure pain and sorrow you're not going to have.

All I know is that my love will be here to stay

and it's a promise that I'm sure will never fade away.

【poem】Make It Come True

Young love I see these days is like a flickering flame.

There are lots of emotions that no one can name.

But curiosity and envy are samples of this so-called emotion

that easily ruins the heart because of this flame's manifestation.

All of my life, I've dreamed of an unquenchable love

that could surpass the turmoil that reached the sky above.

A deep burning coal is the comparison of the love I want

and will never be affected by the memories that haunt.

Oh, stars that shines above, please make it come true.

Please give me a chance and show me a clue

if this love of mine that kindles in my heart

will become a lifetime feeling that will never part.

Miracle may be one thing I'm going to need about

for this strange feeling will never be put out.

One thing I fear the most is for you to abandon my heart

because you're going to leave it tormented and torn apart.

But please, make my long time wish to come true soon

so I won't spend the night anymore, gazing at the moon.

My dream of loving and being deeply loved by you,

it's the dream I want for you to make it come true.

【poem】Thinking Of You

It's hard to think of the special person in your heart,

especially if everything between you two are like worlds apart.

It's hard to think of you that I could see from afar;

just getting a glimpse on a sky high star.

Each minute that comes, starting from the day we've met,

I've always had a strange feeling that I call regret.

When the day ends and I haven't gazed at you,

I've felt that my day was incomplete and even blue.

When I think of you, I've neglected my world around.

Time have slowed down and I can't hear a sound.

It's been like this ever since I've laid my eyes on you,

imagining things that I think will never come true.

I only think of your smiles and your gentle laugh.

It's like you've never face the world that's tough.

These are the images that give me one of the reasons

to surpass the obstacles like a tree that's seen a thousand seasons.

But your love is something my heart could never reach out

because of our worlds that were divided by falsehood and doubts.

So even if this selfish dream of mine won't ever come true,

I'll just stay in one corner of my world, thinking of you.

【poem】In My Dreams

As the night sky display a gallery of the constellations,

I'm always happy to look at them with much appreciation.

Each of the cluster gave an unspeakable shine

that gives me a reason to cross my obstacles' line.

But one particular event gives a new meaning to my night

and that's dreaming of a person that remained out of sight.

In my dreams, I could see you smiling at me,

even waving your hands so I could be able to see.

I've never felt your warming presence for a month or two,

and yet my heart still yearns to have a glimpse of you.

Your face that shows a smile that fade my clouds away...

Your eyes that always greet hello and goodbye you'll never say...

In my dreams, I could see all those things that please me

as far as the horizon that lies in the deep blue sea.

But I could never say the feeling within my glass-like heart

because even in dreams, I don't want you to break it apart.

Dreaming of you is what makes my day complete and happy

and it will remain in my keepsake of precious memory.

So when the light of the stars engulf the sky in the night,

I'd be happy for I'll see you again in my dreams tonight.

【poem】How Could I Forget You?

You've ran away after you broke my fragile heart

and you've taken a piece of me where my love is the part.

But no matter how I'd let time made me forget you,

I could still remember everything that you always do.

How could I forget your eyes that looked at me?

The one that showed me what my life's going to be?

Those eyes that made me engrave a smile in my face;

every time I look at them, they always make me feel dazed.

How could I forget your lips that gave the sweetest smile,

that you never failed to show to anyone even for a while?

The lips which gave out words that encouraged me much...

The words that made my heart fall for you to catch...

How could I forget your laughter that completed my day?

The loud yet gentle laughter that makes me want to stay

by your side where I know I'm protected and secured?

The arms that embraced me made me feel assured.

How could I forget the person that showed me love?

The person that I've always wished for me to have?

Even if time will keep me doing what I need to do,

there's no way I could ever forget a person like you.

【poem】I'm Glad To Have Met You

Living a life that's simple is what I always have,

even imagining a dream that's compared to the stars above.

Things remained to me as a dream concealed far away

that I might not be able to reach after my life goes astray.

But there are a lot of things that makes me feel glad,

though I've seen some things that made my life bad.

I should be thankful for I've met someone like you

that gives me inspiration in everything I do.

You came to my life without warning you'd come my way

and you made me face the world that I've always ran away.

You came to me and gave me courage that I need.

For days and nights that came, you watered my dream's seed.

You've made my whole life the loveliest one to live

because you've lit a feeling inside me that no one can give.

I'm always ready to confess my blooming love

when I know destiny will let this love I shall have.

I will always thank God for giving you to me

because you've shown a miracle that I never thought I'd see.

So even if this life of mine unexpectedly ends along the way,

"I'm glad to have met you" is what I'm finally going to say.

【poem】According To My Heart

Life had never become a sweet, simple story,

for it has lots of comedy, drama, and even tragedy.

But life also offers the sweetest one to live

and that's finding love again after you forgive.

Pain made your heart bleed as it falls down

because of a love that ended like a broken crown.

But life had made you see things that were needed to be seen,

like a star-high dream that's painted in the mountain scene.

I don't want to end my life weeping around to mourn

for a love that became a lie even before it was born.

I've seen life has a lot of surprises to offer;

a lot of memories filled with so many smiles and so much laughter.

As I walk down the road while the rain is falling,

I heard a sweet voice, like an angel was calling.

As I turn around, I captured a warm smile

that overflow with delight like the water of the Nile.

But as I walk towards you, you suddenly walked away.

As you disappeared, I listened to my heart as it say,

"Even if our hearts were separated like worlds apart,

I would still find your love according to my heart."

【poem】Remember

To the person I've always loved with all my heart,

in my simple life, you've remained to become a part.

And it seems that no matter how you've hurt my feelings,

my heart will continue to give me life from its beatings.

I know I can never forgive someone who hurt me.

But your love for me before had made me see

a memory that we made under the Heaven's river

that I will remember even if it takes forever.

But I want you to remember the same memory

that begins to fade away as you recall and see.

Remember a love story that remained to be the greatest.

Remember a promise that made our love the strongest.

I can't put my whole heart in fate and chances anymore

when you already began to close your heart's door.

Remember me as the only person who loves you the most.

Please remember my love for you where my life is the cost.

But it seems that no matter how much I want you to recall,

time had made your heart to crash down and fall.

It made your heart put out the glow of an ember

of our memories before. But still, please remember.

【poem】Within A Silent Heart

I've always lived my life the way I wanted to,

but it seems that something's missing in what I do.

There's a missing piece in my life that I need to fill

in order for me to have a life that's complete and real.

Up until now, I've never had a chance to love

no matter how much I try to catch the stars above.

A love that will help me fulfill my greatest dreams

and will give me the strength to cross trials' streams.

As I walk my path, there's an obstacle ahead

and it isn't as easy as a book that I've read.

But you came to my way and crushed it down to bits.

You drove all the obstacles away in scared fleets.

Though you've saved me from the crucial path I walk,

my heart remained silent and couldn't find a way to talk.

It's because of a feeling that you've unknowingly lit

within a silent heart of mine that continuously beat.

I wanted so much to thank you for what you've done.

I even wanted our hearts to unite and become one.

But I'm willing to wait until destiny becomes a part

of a blazing feeling that lies within a silent heart.

【poem】An Answered Prayer

Every night, before I go to sleep,

there's one wish that I always keep.

I usually pray for this wish to come true,

but I don't know if I'll see a clue.

How will I know if it was answered?Because every time, I only see things blurred.

So every night, I talk to God through prayer

for me to be able to find an answer.

I only wish you would notice me

even if only for one day for me to see.

To see if you're really a destiny

made for me for eternity.

And one day, I saw you coming near

but I'm not sure if you'll go here.

I'm so shocked that you talked to me.

It's like my prayer had been my key.

God gave me an answered prayer,

but I know I'm just in the first layer.

A layer that connotes to know you more.

As time pass, more layer will open a new door.

【poem】Help Me Fall For You

The last time I fell in love,

there was one thing I couldn't have.

It's the courage to say "I love you"

and to prove that I really do.

So now, I'm scared to love again

after years of suffering in pain.

There's no one here to help me through.

So please, help me fall for you.

I'm spending a lot of time

creating letters and poems that rhyme.

I created those to be given to you

when I'm ready to say it to you.

So for now, I'll wait

to readily accept my love life's fate.

I know that as long as I'm with you,

time will come, and I'll fall in love with you.

【poem】The Shadow Of My Heart

For the past years, I've lived my life in pain

that I couldn't bear so easily and plain.

No matter how much I try to walk away,

memories of you and me are making my path gray.

I wanted to have a life that's colorful and new

and fulfill a dream that's shining brightly and true.

But how will I suppose to have the life I want

if a dark memory in my mind continues to haunt?

You're the only person that hurt me this much

and it lived in a place that I couldn't bear to watch.

I wanted this pain inside of me to fade

that your so-called love for me before had made.

The day you left me, everything about you created a shadow.

One that I can never break; that's why it always follows.

No matter how many years will pass by,

everything about you won't help me reach the sky.

Your memories seem to have become a chain

that binds me in a world filled with so much pain.

I know that wherever I go, you'll be the shadow of my heart

and I can never find a way to rip it completely apart.

【poem】If Ever A Love Will Come True

Destiny, true love's kiss, and happy ever after.

It's always these words when love matters.

A chance is what I only want to have

if ever I have the courage to find my one true love.

I've lived a life that's gloomy and cold

in my spacious world with no one to hold.

It's dull and no surprises to have at all.

My floor and walls are now beginning to fall.

I knew I've walked for over a mile or two,

but I can't really think of what else to do.

Until a savior began to block my way

and have his smile brighten up my day.

My world shines brightly when he showed up

and he's helping me reach the mountain top.

A mountain full of obstacles and pain

that makes me live my life in vain.

I want to thank you for helping me out

without a feeling of shame and even doubt.

If ever a miracle called love will come true,

I'll make sure pain and suffering will never come to you.

【poem】Close To Your Love

I've always seen and watched you from afar,

like watching and smiling at the shining star.

It's been like this ever since I met you

and you never made my day so dull and blue.

A smile and laughter can complete my day.

It's like watching the lovely sunset by the bay.

I can feel the warmth and see new dreams

being born inside my heart, flowing like streams.

But I think my dream might not become real

when many people want your heart for them to steal.

I'll never have the chance to show my true feelings

no matter how much I try to become pleasing.

No one around us can be a marionette of love

or even play like Cupid with bow and arrows to have.

I really can't get a little close to you

even if I have the courage to make it through.

But I want to do everything I can with my skills

because that would give my life a lot of thrills.

It includes making you notice me one bit.

To get close to your love is a one sure hit.

【poem】To The One I'm Waiting For

A gloomy path is what I'm walking for now.

Doesn't even know which road will I go somehow.

It's been like this ever since you've been gone

and I can't tell when will all of this be over and done.

My life has been like this for a long period of timand I can't even hear the clocks that always chime.

It's because I don't want to know anything anymore

about the life I'm having now that never happened before.

But there is one particular thing that I only know.

I never had a chance to notice time that runs so slow

because my heart only desires for one thing

and that's meeting you again all through everything.

No matter how long I wait or even how far,

even if I can't fade away my heart's scar,

I will keep standing on the place where you left me

for you to be able to return again and gladly see.

A smile of happiness will surely shine

in a place beneath the very green pine.

This is to the person I've been waiting for

that I know I have loved like never before.

【poem】Will Of The Sea

For a long time I'm living near the sea,

how I wish someone would love me.

A person who will be my protector

and somehow will also be my heart's creator.

As the waves of the sea keep on tossing

while the boat of the fisherman began crossing,

I hear its will that means something

and it could possibly makes me everything.

I don't know if I could be the one;

the one that will bring you the sun

to enlighten your gloomy, dark face

and will give you all of love's grace.

I know the waves of the sea say something.

Whatever it is, it could be anything.

To hopefully make you love me for me,

I hope that it's really the will of the sea.

Approved Manuscript # 1: Charming A Silent Heart

Title: Charming A Silent Heart (tentative title)
Date Approved: October 22, 2014

Actually, noong una kong mabasa ang e-mail sa akin about the feedback of this manuscript, hindi ko alam kung paano ko ide-describe ang nararamdaman ko. I was… neutral at the time. Oo, siguro. Napangiti ako. Pero deep inside, hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko kung ano ba ang dapat na maramdaman ko. It’s either I felt numb for waiting or I felt numb because I’m too happy and I can’t even release it. Basta, ang gulo.

【poem】The Only Way To Love You

Loving secretly, loving weakly, loving strong,

even if all the things went terribly wrong.

It's always like this when it comes to love.

It's everyone in the world wanted to have.

But one kind of love made someone suffer in pain

and torturing her fragile heart again and again.

It's loving secretly which is a hard thing to do

and no one knows when this love will come true.

Sunny day, rainy day, almost every day,

I stay in a quiet place where I can pray

that somehow, you'll take a glance of me

and talk to me for a while to answer my plea.

Grayish clouds and wind that harshly blows.

It's the kind of world where my life flows.

In your world, it's bright and always keeps on shining

because of the people that keeps you climbing.

But up to now, I'm still waiting in this cold place

where many people can't even recognize my face.

Hiding in your world where I can take a glance of you;

it's the only way I know for me to love you so true.

【poem】A Chapter Of My Life

My life is compared to an old, rotten book

that no one dared to take a look.

I remained myself to be kept in the shelf hidden

outside the world where people barely think what's forbidden.

For as long as I can think and remember,

my pages never showed its glow like an ember.

The words and colors began to fade away

until someone like you began to lighten up my day.

Your gentle touch returned my faded colors,

restored the words and opened my closed doors.

Your pen gently swayed on my old, creased paper

like a graceful pirouette done by a ballet dancer.

The day you came, you created a new chapter,

like the one from the novel of an inspired writer.

Every words and details are carefully drawn,

like the dewy grasses of a backyard lawn.

So when my life is over, and I'll be given a chance,

even if it's just a dream that'll easily prance,

if there's a chapter in my book that I would see without strife,

it's when the time you recreated the book of my life.

【poem】Out Of The Blue

After a pain, a promise had been made.

For the person you once loved, you'd wish to fade.

But how was it going to happen

if the same feeling had never misshapen?

It's only a little time that had gone by

and somehow, I managed to stop my heart to cry.

But as the sweet, gentle wind began to blow,

a light of hidden love slowly started to glow.

All because I saw a dashing, charming smile

that could surely attract even people in a mile.

A person who showed up from out of the blue

that is ready to charm you so bright and true.

I never thought I would actually meet

a person who I think is never sad for a bit.

A jolly one who just keeps following the flow

of a deep blue water that's running so slow.

His smiles and dimples fade my dark clouds away

whenever he keeps talking to me each coming day.

A feeling sprouted from out of the blue;

hope it will lead to a love that's so true.

【poem】A Memory Of December

During the time the cold wind starts blowing,

I couldn't help my tears to stop from falling.

It's not the happy memories that I remember.

Only those that let my heart cry in December.

I couldn't accept that you just left me alone

and I found myself staring at the telephone.

Hoping that you would call me just once

and maybe you'll give me a second chance.

I guess I'm in a deep state of depression

and it's easy to tell with my expression.

Why do I have to suffer this way?

How could you let my fragile heart pay?

My tears are like the falling rain

of pains and aches that are heavy to gain.

I just couldn't let myself suffer

from a battle wherein you're tougher.

So, every time I pick of a memory from December,

I only choose now what are happy to remember.

Because I'll never forget that still, I have friends

who will accompany me till the battle ends.

【poem】The Kiss Of New Year

Reunion, laughter, and joyful tears,

even groups who keep drinking beers.

It's a scene everyone wants to look upon

from sunset of New Year's Eve till dawn.

Also, New Year depicts new beginnings,

new hopes, aspirations and yearnings.

Everything's new for the two young hearts

that found each other after years of being apart.

It's their destiny that binds them together

and their hearts that love one another.

Happiness for them is like the beautiful seas

and they want no other for them to be pleased.

As the New Year countdown started with no warning,

they stared at each other with full of meaning.

Because of the times that they had missed,

the lovers welcomed the New Year with a kiss.

For them, that kiss was one of a kind

because love is surely not easy to find.

It's only in your heart where you could be able to see

a love that holds the future's key.

【poem】January's Story

It's the month that started the year

and vacation had been drawn near.

A month that will start life again

and have my blessings be poured like rain.

But the story I want to show

is about a love that began to flow.

A love that started by an accidental touching

and destiny that already did its matching.

The field was cold because of the snow

and the time must have moved slow.

But the two of them didn't mind the cold;

didn't even know what destiny has foretold.

Both of them can't say a thing,

not a word until the phone rings.

She realized it was already ten o'clock

and her friend was only waiting for her to knock.

He smiled at her and just said this,

"I'm sorry," then he held her hand and had it kissed.

She was shocked but she managed to smile

because somehow, he made her moment worthwhile.

【poem】My Greatest Regret

I know my love from before

helped me open a new door.

A door wherein my wishes were fulfilled

and a new life I'll be able to build.

But time had passed, I don't know why.

Why'd you have to make me cry?

I know I've risked everything for love.

So why'd you let pain I shall have?

Choices for me to pick are already set,

but I didn't know it'll be my greatest regret.

To end our relationship was my last choice

even though I know you were not one of my toys.

I couldn't think of any other way

for me to get rid of this pain away.

I know I've made the wrong decision,

that's why I couldn't think of an acceptable reason.

Is it jealousy? Is it pain?

Why am I standing in the rain?

I can't believe I let myself suffer for long

and I really have to bring it along.

I just can't stand it anymore

and I couldn't take my heart to feel this sore.

Now I feel the rain of aches that makes me wet

because I know the decision I've made was my greatest regret.

【poem】Will There Be A Second Chance?

Oh, pain, why can't you let me go?

Why'd you let my heart freeze in the snow?

He's a person I know I should forget

but how come I still feel the regret?

I don't know if there'll be a second time

when you already heard the clock's chime.

Feelings of mine for you that I can't get rid of,

despite the things that you just did.

Each morning, I just want to mourn

ever since this unbearable pain was born.

I'm asking why can't you love me

the way that I really want to be.

I can't say if there will be another chance

to let me be awake from this trance.

I couldn't take the pain anymore

that's slowly devouring my heart's core.

I really want to let my feelings prance

just to be able to have a second chance

because when the day I'd have such a thing,

it's when the day winter turned to spring.

Hindi ko na alam!

Clueless! Iyan lang ang masasabi ko tungkol sa sarili ko sa ngayon. Ano ba dapat ang ipo-post ko rito? Bakit ko ito ginawa in the first place? Goodness gracious! Ano na namang kalokohan ang naisipan kong gawin ngayon? Oo, alam kong tinatamad lang akong mag-post sa FB nitong mga nakaraang araw maliban sa updates tungkol sa nilalaro kong Farmville. Pero grabe naman! Pati ba naman dito, wala pa rin akong maisip gawin? Pero baka puwede na siguro iyong mga tulang pinagsususulat ko in the meantime. Sa ngayon, iyon lang naman ang matinong ipakita sa madla. Hehe! Good luck na lang talaga sa akin. Hay...

Welcome!

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ginawa ito. Pero hopefully, mai-maintain ko na talaga ito dahil ilang beses na akong gumawa ng blogsite na mas madalas, hindi nagtatagal. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ba ang ilalagay ko rito. Pero gusto ko pa ring gawin ito. Ayokong mag-rely lang ako sa FB ng pagpo-post ng mga bagay tungkol sa buhay ko. I mean, I could still post stories and poems and such. Ewan! Basta gagawin ko pa rin ito. Bahala na si life sa akin. Hehe!