Oo na. Hindi Sunday, kundi Saturday. Wala lang, feel ko lang naman. Gumagana na naman ang utak ko sa pag-iisip ng kung anu-ano. And since I couldn’t push through (at least not yet) with the video journal thingy I’m planning, I think it’s better for me to write it for now. And it’s for the best if I do it at night since my mind fuctions better during night time. Hindi nga lang ako `yong tipo ng tao na nagpupuyat. Hindi kaya ng brain ko. Ang bilis mapagod.
Wait… Isip ko ba o katawan ko ang may problema? Ah, ewan! Saka ko na pagdedebatehan ang tungkol doon. Basta ang alam ko, parang nawawalan ako ng ganang gawin ang mga bagay na dapat ay priority ko. Tinatamad na nga ba talaga ako? nawawalan ako ng drive na i-focus ang sarili ko sa mga dapat kong gawin, eh. Naturingan pa akong panganay niyan, ah. I should be the one doing the word and not my younger sister. But no! I’m the one who couldn’t find myself doing any work at all. Wala akong ibang gustong gawin kundi ang magsulat. Mabuti sana kung puwede kong gawing full time ang pagsusulat, eh. But even when I’m doing the one thing I loved to do, it seems like I’m losing the initiative.
It’s downright frustrating, to be honest.
Idagdag pa na, heto, pinapaalis na kami dito sa nirerentahan naming bahay dahil laging delayed ang bayad. I’m not sure who to blame. Or I should include myself to the list of people to blame for that. But I don’t want to do that. As much as possible, I’m trying not to. I’ve been thinking of too much negativity lately and I don’t want that to influence my trail of thoughts right now.
I guess I’ll try my best in the next coming days. Whatever happens, I’ll be positive… hopefully…
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