Contemplations Not Written On Journal # 3

I haven't written anything here in a while. But since I didn't write anything on my journal tonight, either, I might as well do it here. Nothing much has happened, though. I still have to deal with so many things. A few of them, namely:

❇️Cold weather
❇️Toothache (or better call it gumache)
❇️Headache
❇️Impatience
❇️Boredom
❇️Fear of a lot of things

Weird, huh? But it's a good thing that I could be distracted from all of these by simple things. At this point, I ended up enjoying to watch reaction videos of a few foreign channels with regards to P-Pop boy group SB19. I have to admit, I came to love some of their songs. But I actually find it hilarious to watch other people react to this group. At least, they don't just settle to reacting entirely to K-Pop.

Right now, I'm dealing with runny nose and headache because of (obviously) a common colds that I have contracted already. I could only hope that it won't get worse when New Year arrives. I don't want to end up getting sick on that festive event.

By the way, a while back, I was thinking of rewriting the "Eight Thorned Blades" entirely. Like start everything from scratch. Literally. Of course, the original concept will remain. But instead of multiple POVs placed together, I'll possibly focus on one to two. It still depends. It will start with Kourin's (the surviving princess of the Shinomiya clan), then the other clan princesses will follow. I'm still debating on this one, to be honest. I have no idea on how will I implement this, or if I will actually do it.

Anyway, I'm still thinking about it. I also need to read more materials so I could actually continue the story. I could seriously feel that my writing juice is depleting at a steady rate. It's still alaraming for me, in case you don't know.

So I guess that's it for my rant that I couldn't write on my journal for now. I have to sleep already, in hopes of dissipating this headache that's been going on since this afternoon. I really don't want to rely on more medicine because of this.

In any case, good night.

おやすみなさい。。。

잘자요...

the last sky of the earth 96 - confrontation

HINDI matigil si Kourin sa pagdarasal na sana ay maabutan pa nilang buhay si Mamoru. Bagaman iyon ang pilit na sinasabi sa kanya ni Tetsuya, bakas din sa mukha ng kaibigan ang pag-aalala nito para sa Yumemiya clan leader.

Kahit sabihin pang nasa isang liblib na lugar sa mga sandaling iyon si Mamoru, hindi pa rin garantiya iyon para masabing ligtas ito. Lalo na't nabanggit din sa kanya ni Tetsuya na may sumusunod dito noong nagtungo ito sa Lorlea Valley para mag-imbestiga ng anumang may kinalaman sa Ethereal Sky.

Kasama nina Kourin at Tetsuya sina Amiko, Ryuuji, ang kababalik lang na si Shuichi at pati na rin sina Daryll at Shingo. Sasama pa nga dapat sina Chrono, Miyako, Takeru, at Akemi subalit may iba pang kailangang asikasuhin ang mga ito, sa utos na rin ng 13th Knight at maging ng dalawa pang clan leaders sa Shrouded Flowers. Kaya naman ipinaubaya na lang ni Miyako at maging ni Chrono sa kanila ang pagtulong kay Mamoru.

Subalit kasabay ng pagdarasal na ginagawa ni Kourin para sa isa pang kapatid at guro, paulit-ulit ding umaalingawngaw sa kanyang isipan ang isa pang binanggit ni Tetsuya. Ang dahilan kung bakit inatake ni Cronus si Mamoru sa Kusanagi Shrine.

Tahara Iena Character Introduction

Osaki Ichika as Tahara Iena

Age: 21

::A long time fan of Yuka's works and Naosuke's bubbly younger sister. She lived with her grandmother when Naosuke graduated and found work outside of Yakuramoto. In spite of the distance, she never let it sever her relationship with her brother. She had been there for Naosuke to take care of him when he suffered an accident that almost killed him and wrecked his body. On the outside, she was a bubbly girl. But deep inside, she kept a certain fear in her heart that even her brother doesn't know. That fear had kept her from acknowledging someone's sincere intentions to be with her in spite of it all.

Tahara Naosuke Character Introduction

Kishida Tatsuya as Tahara Naosuke

Age: 27

::Yohei's cousin who had always supported his endevour both in acting and voice acting. He was Iena's strict but still, a loving older brother. He, too, once aspired to become an actor, which was why he and Yohei would audition together. But because of an accident that nearly severed his spine several years ago and almost limiting his mobility, he gave up on that dream. He returned to Yakuramoto a few months before Yohei did to fulfill a long time promise to his deceased father. He wasn't aware, however, that doing so would lead him to discover something else that his life might have needed all this time.

Contemplations Not Written On Journal # 2

I couldn't think of anything to write on my journal tonight. So I'm doing it here. However, I have a feeling that I'm only going to do a short version of this.

I still have no idea what to write here, to be honest. It's already getting late and not to mention, I'm getting sleepy. Maybe the cold December weather triggers it. At the moment, I have no idea.

Well, today, I've written down the episode list of Detective Conan with the intention of rewatching it and maybe, write at least a short thought about each episodes. I kind of need to refresh my mind about the series before I actually need to continue writing the third book of the Prince of Tennis/Detective Conan crossover fanfiction series "Detective Tennis".

In any case, I still need the inspiration, so rewatching this was like a refresher for me. It's been a long while since I last watched this series anyway.

Asakura Mirae Character Introduction

Iitoyo Marie as Asakura Mirae

Age: 23

::Yuka's elementary classmate and best friend who had lived in the town of Yakuramoto all her life. At times, she would leave the town for the sole reason of visiting Yuka in the city where the writer resided. Though appearing to be a reserved girl in front of almost everyone, she was a bubbly girl around her family and Yuka. Her switching personality around people eventually caught the attention of the man whom she once harbored secret feelings in the past.

Kawazumi Harukaze Character Introduction

Ichimichi Mao/M.A.O as Kawazumi Harukaze

Age: 27

::Yohei and Kojuro's stepsister who was chosen to manage the affairs of Kawamori Enterprises in favor of allowing her stepbrothers to fulfill their own dreams. Not once has she considered her stepbrothers as nuisance in her life and was very caring towards them. She was the first to become aware of the secret that Yohei was keeping to himself all this time, and it made her even more protective to her youngest stepbrother.

Fujieda Kojuro Character Introduction

Ryusei Ryo as Fujieda Kojuro

Age: 26

::Yohei's paternal half-brother and a well-known painter. He decided to move and live in Yakuramoto after declaring to his family about his plans to pursue his painting career over managing their family business. As much as he could, he wanted to look after Yohei, especially when he realized the real reason why his brother decided to take a leave from his work.

Kawamori Yohei Character Introduction

KAWAMORI YOHEI (Nakao Masaki)

Age: 26

::At the prime of his life with his fame as a voice actor and a renowned actor, as well, it seemed that he already possessed everything. But in reality, the world itself was suffocating him in more ways than one. And so he asked his agency to let him have a short break just to get his groove back. But the peace and quiet vacation he wanted to happen had only became a way for his path to cross with that of someone unexpected... and it happened in a really unusual--but definitely life-changing--way.

journal entry #127

Excitement could be my reason why I forgot to write anything there yesterday. For what, you might ask? For this — the beach outing that my first sister has planned as a treat to herself and as a celebration (an early one) for her birthday on December 16. Yes, her birthday is also the start of the Misa de Gallo (simbang gabi) here. I don't know if I'd be able to attend the 9 morning mass, though. I really want to. But the schedule of the water delivery on Sunday is getting later than usual, to the point of not getting the necessary sleep hours.

So, yeah. Tomight, I'm writing this entry on another location. At this point, we're at the Aloha Beach Resort and it's hot. If it's cold in Baguio, it was the opposite here. And that really gave me quite a headache, even though I enjoyed playing in the sea water waves. I actually prefer sea water than pool water ever since I started playing in the waves.

From what I can see, this entry is going to be short, now that this headache is not helping me concentrate at all. So I guess I'd say good night here. Hopefully, I'd have a picture of the sunrise by the beach tomorrow.

おやすみなさい。

Kakota Yuka Character Introduction

KAKOTA YUKA (Okubo Sakurako)

Age: 23

::An aspiring writer since high school, she took a vacation from her job at a convenience store in order to travel amd find the writing muse that she thought she had lost. The writer's block that she was going through was really frustrating her and so she took a step to finally end it. But then, she didn't realize that the short travel she took would be more than enough to change her life once she crossed paths with someone she never dreamed of meeting at all.

journal entry #126

It's only the second entry and I had a feeling that this is going to be a bit long. Or not. Well, there was an issue on one of the group chats where I was a part of. As much as I want to write it down here, I had this thought that this is going to be a waste of space. Sorry for putting it that way here, even though the issue has something to do with writing.

Because of this, I couldn't help missing those days where writing wasn't as toxic as it was now. To be specific, my FFN days. That was a long time ago, though. I was still in college back then. I wanted to write stories the way I did during those times. I might be stating things here as if I'm getting old. But 28 is already an adult age. My mind, however, isn't exactly functioning and thinking as a 28-year-old woman should be. I had this feeling that my life stopped functioning properly since my last job where I was fired. Or maybe it stopped before then.

Honestly, I don't know anymore.

Anyway, we're all still preparing, little by little, the things we are all going to bring for our beach outing this weekend. But I realized that during those two days, I won't be able to play A3! I think I could use that time to have fun at the beach or read something on a new environment or possibly even write something.

We'll still see.

Okay. I guess this ends my entry for tonight. It's time to get to the bed and sleep early. At least, I'll try.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。

journal entry #125

It's a brand new entry on that journal!

And yes, I should be celebrating and hoping that I'd be able to actually fill that notebook with more (hopefully) interesting stories of my life. I'm not exactly sure that kind of stories will fill that one. But I hope none of them will have something disastrous or even heartbreaking.

The weather had just turned cold, so at the moment, I'm having a little bit of a hard time writing here. But I'm still trying since this is my first time entry there. I'm supposed to be sleeping already since it's late. But just as I always write on my first completely filled up journal, Wednesday night is a task night for me. Hopefully, I won't end up sleeping really late, unlike what happened last Sunday.

I wish I could write about what I dreamed this morning when I woke up. But if I'm going to be honest, I couldn't remember the details now. The only thing that was clear about it was the place — and it was at the airport. Weird, huh? You know, I really should have a notebook dedicated to the dreams I had and write them down as soon as I wake up. Which means, that notebook should be beside me or at least near me when that happens.

Okay. Now I think I ran out of anything to say for today. I mean, anything to write. Not say. I really hope that my task about that late water delivery will end soon so I could finally sleep.

And now, it's time to say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。

So since I started reviving this story, then I might as well do a proper introduction to it, right? For now, I'll just put up the story description. On the next post will be the character profiles.

.

.

.

<<Inspired by the Christmas love song "A Perfect Christmas" and the movies "Love Actually" and "It All Began When I Met You".>>

.

.

STORY DESCRIPTION:

.

All Kakota Yuka (Okubo Sakurako) wants is to go to a place that will provide her the inspiration she needs to continue her life and her writings. But upon arriving there, she's not expecting to cross paths with the most persistent guy in the world--at least he's persistent for her taste.

.

Meeting Kawamori Yohei (Nakao Masaki) and getting closer to him isn't in any of her plans, especially after finding out that the guy wasn't just a charming cutie she just stumbled upon. But soon after, she realizes that maybe he can really help her. After all, she did come to that place to find inspiration. But not without even knowing that the inspiration she finds in him makes her somehow wish that he can provide her one of the greatest gift and miracle the Christmas season could ever offer to her.

.

To finally find the man destined for her to love.

.

Question is... Will he be the guy for that?

Fate Strikers

«They live in a deadly world where they knew in their hearts that a warrior's duty to their clan rises above all else.

.

Twelve men who remain steadfast in protecting the people they care about...

.

Twelve warriors who will stop at nothing to defend their respective clan's honor, their leaders, and eventually, their hearts...

.

But can they really defend their hearts when love finally strikes hard in the midst of another fated war?»

.

It's not that I don't have anything else to post (or maybe it's really like that). But I just thought I'd put this here to remind me that I should really start writing this. Anyway, we'll see. 😁✌️😁✌️

【poem】Here's To The Blue

Here's to the blue moments you never saw

as you never witnessed my falling tears

the day you decided to walk away.

Here's to the blue color that was once my favorite

and enough to make me smile somehow,

even though it doesn't do the same thing anymore.

Here's to the blue pen that once inspired me.

The colored pen that was said to trigger inspiration

and could make me cry now as memories flooded me.

Here's to the blue ink that would always stain

my beloved notebook and even my shirt

and would forever remind me of how you are in my life.

Here's to the blue sky that starts a new day

as the sun shines bright on a brand new me

and I began stepping out to face a life without you.

Even though life and the color that you love

would never bring you back to me at all,

I will stand firm, in one way or another.

The love we once knew would give us a new life

where we don't have to be reminded of things

that once made us regretful and forever blue...

【poem】Some Thoughts

I know you'll never wonder

about the life I have to ponder.

Maybe you'll never care at all

about the time I took the fall.

So here are the words I wrote,

back when I still love your quotes.

Even though your words linger on

as soon as I'm done crying a ton.

I'll forget you and let it all go

no matter how much I'll miss you so.

What's this for? I have no idea. I just ended up creating these. 😁😁 Just kidding. This is actually for another series that I want to write (a fantasy-romance), though I'm not sure if I'd be able to since there are other pending stories that needed my attention. So I'll just leave it like this for now.

.

What I just did here was to feature the original 12 EXO members and pair them up with the ladies from various Tokusatsu shows I've watched, namely:

💠Uchida Rio (Kamen Rider Drive)

💠Kojima Riria (Ressha Sentai ToQger)

💠Yamamoto Chihiro (Ultraman Geed)

💠Yamaya Kasumi and Yano Yuuka (Shuriken Sentai Ninninger)

💠Ichimichi Mao/M.A.O. (Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger)

💠Nagisa Yuzuki (Kaito Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger)

💠Takada Kaho (Kamen Rider Build)

💠Iitoyo Marie (Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger)

💠Konno Ayaka (Kamen Rider Zi-O)

💠Okubo Sakurako (Uchuu Sentai Kyuranger)

💠Tateishi Haruka (Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger)

.

I have no idea what prompted me to do this, to be honest. Which was crazy. Or maybe I do know the reason why I created this. I just don't know when to use it... at least for now.

.

But then again, I'm a kind of writer who always comes up with some of the most unusual AU/crossover pairings in my writings. I'm just putting an emphasis to that. 😁✌️😁✌️

So, yeah. I'm posting what remains of the photo collage edit I created for this fantasy-romance series The Moon Of The Fire. This series will comprise of three stories and from the other edits related to this that I've posted, you already know the pairings featured in each story. But I'm still thinking which story will go first. 🤔🤔

.

Lyrics: 5th and last line of the chorus of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Anyway, here's the last trivia about these two characters from Moon Of The Fire and it will be about their names in this story. Shiono Akihisa's character is a skilled swordsman named Ridall from the House of Drostea and he happened to be the bodyguard of the prince of the Eaherus Kingdom. While Yano Yuuka's character is a princess named Hesnei from the House of Clarilon who happened to be one of the two heirs to the throne of the Enirian Kingdom.

.

Lyrics: 4th line of the chorus of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Another trivia for the upcoming story Moon Of The Fire:

.

In more than one episode of Ninninger, I noticed that Fuuka/Shironinger like using the Pitfall Trap Technique. In this story, I want to retain that part, but instead of a technique, Yuuka's character here used that technique as a part of her powers inclined to earth. The same goes to Souji's swordsmanship skills despite his young age. But in addition to that, I wanted to add the fact that Akihisa's character here is capable of throwing energy blades towards his enemies and doing so in a fast speed.

.

Lyrics: 3rd line of the chorus of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Here I am again with another trivia for this upcoming story Moon Of The Fire:

.

Yano Yuuka's character is one of the two heirs to the throne of the Enirian Kingdom while Shiono Akihisa's character is a skilled swordsman and the personal bodyguard of the prince of the Eaherus Kingdom.

.

Lyrics: 2nd line of the chorus of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Here's a new pair to be featured from my upcoming fantasy-romance series Moon Of The Fire. Yes, I'm turning it into a series now.

.

Lyrics: 1st line of the chorus from the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Last trivia about these two characters from Moon Of The Fire: Their names in this story. Itou Asahi's character is a nobleman named Vulzen from the House of Ramdel, one of the seven noble houses of the Erudian Kingdom. While Okuyama Kazusa's character is a lady-in-waiting and bodyguard of the princess of the Eaherus Kingdom from the House of Vedras named Ireth.

.

Lyrics: 4th and the last line of the 2nd stanza of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Another trivia for the upcoming story Moon Of The Fire:

.

Itou Asahi's character has a fascination with guns and cannons since he was little and also a pyrokinetic, being a part of the noble family known for manipulating fire. While Okuyama Kazusa's character was known as a deadly archer of her kingdom, with her arrows created for her to fully use her memory erasing skills.

.

Lyrics: 3rd line of the 2nd stanza of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Here I am with another trivia for this upcoming story Moon Of The Fire:

.

Itou Asahi's character is a part of one of the seven noble families of the Erudian Kingdom while Okuyama Kazusa's character is a lady-in-waiting and the personal bodyguard of the princess of the Eaherus Kingdom.

.

Lyrics: 2nd line of the 2nd stanza of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

So now I'm still going to continue posting photo edits for the upcoming story Moon Of The Fire. This time, with two new characters. But I'll post the trivia about these two on the next.

.

Lyrics: 1st line of the 2nd stanza from the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Last trivia about these two characters from Moon Of The Fire: Their names in this story. Okubo Sakurako's character is a noble lady named Karis from the House of Astamond, one of the seven noble houses of the Erudian Kingdom. While Kishi Yosuke's character is one of the two heirs to the throne of the Enirian Kingdom from the House of Clarilon named Aros.

.

Lyrics: 4th and the last line of the 1st stanza of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Another trivia for the upcoming story Moon Of The Fire:

.

I retained Hammie's invisibility skill from Kyuranger to that of Okubo Sakurako's character in this story. It's what she uses to sneak out of the mansion sometimes together with her best friend. The same goes for Stinger's poison-making ability from Kyuranger to Kishi Yosuke's character to this story. The only difference is that he creates poison to all the weapons he created as a protective measure for his younger sister who was once kidnapped and taken hostage when she was younger.

.

Lyrics: 3rd line of the 1st stanza of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Just a short trivia for this upcoming story Moon Of The Fire:

.

Okubo Sakurako's character is a part of one of the seven noble families of the Erudian Kingdom while Kishi Yosuke's character is one of the two heirs to the throne of the Enirian Kingdom.

.

Lyrics: 2nd line of the 1st stanza of the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

Dream Journal # 3: Cracked Ceiling With Water Leaking From It

While waiting for my phone to finish charging, I decided to write this down before actually forgetting it again. I can't trust my mind to recall things anymore. And maybe because I couldn't trust a lot of things in my life that I ended up having a dream about a ceiling of the apartment where we live having a large crack. I mean, it wasn't just a small crack. It was a large crack where I could actually take a peek of the night sky in that dream.

That's one of the weird things in that dream. I could take a peek at night sky through that crack where water was leaking. And I don't mean a small amount of water pouring in. Faucet-like flow— that's how I'd describe it. I could tell that it was night time in that dream because through that crack, I could see the moon with few clouds around it. The real mystery to me was about the source of the leak and the water that flowed through that crack. But I never got to figure it out from there. All I know is that I tried to tell my family about it in that dream but it seemed like they just passed it off for some reason.

The dream I had was long. At least, I could tell that. But the only part of the dream that I remembered was that cracked ceiling. As for the rest, they all ended up blurry which made it hard for me to recall the actual topic and flow of the dream.

So going back to that "cracked ceiling with water leaking in dream" topic, I tried to look it up over the internet for possible interpretations. There was one on the website of 『My Dream Symbolism』that mentioned at least the symbolism that I needed based on the scenes I remembered from that dream.

It stated on one point that it was because the dreamer's head is full of so many thoughts and couldn't handle it all. Suppressing those thoughts became so hard that the dreamer (that's me, in this case) was starting to lose control over them. Another thing that the article stated was the place in the house that made an appearance in the dream. In my dream, the location of the crack and the leak was at the ceiling of the living room— and this room symbolizes the heart. It was this area in the house— at least in that dream— that states where the problem lies in the dreamer's life in reality.

After reading this article, I recalled the journal entry I wrote the night before. I was able to connect the meaning of my dream to that. I wrote many of my frustrations and disappointments on that journal the night before. I mean, it was a lot. Three pages of almost ranting thoughts, to be exact. Yes, all of it was about my frustrations and self-degrading moments that I couldn't even scream out or talk about to anyone. Not even to my family, as well, as they were the source of it.

So, yeah. That's some almost accurate symbolism of my dream, I must say. The article did say that I shouldn't be worried as it only meant that something positive would happen in my life and that I shouldn't think of the negative things which could hinder it.

Now that's a long entry, huh? I haven't written a dream journal in a long while, after all. And I really want to write this down and share it.

Posting something for a planned fantasy story titled Moon Of The Fire. Honestly, I'm still wondering why I thought of that as a title for this story. But anyway, I think I might be able to figure it out as I go and start writing it.

.

Lyrics: 1st line of the 1st stanza from the English song "Love That Never Fades" by Sarah Geronimo & Erik Santos

New Notebook, More Memories

It's been a long while since I posted anything here, huh? I'm sorry. I put most of my thoughts on my journal these past months, that's why. At some point, I post things on my Instagram and in a few cases, self-degrading thoughts on Twitter. But it's only because I didn't know where to turn to anymore. Writing down those thoughts did help as a way of releasing it from me, but it's still not enough. I guess I'm asking for something more. Right now, I still have no idea what it was.

Anyway, because I used my journal as my way of releasing those negative thoughts from my mind, I ended up nearly filling the entire journal with those words. There was a post in my Instagram where I mentioned that I also reached my 100th entry, which had never happened before. I've never written that many journal entries in my life until now. Yes, even when I had my diary back in high school.

With that, I bought two notebooks that I could use as my next journal.

They're really simple, right? I ought to let it be since I'm more concerned about the price than anything else. As you know, I'm unemployed and I only rely to what meager amount of allowance I get for me to use for the whole week. But then, I do have plans of covering the record book with something floral. Maybe I could find a sticker paper with such designs.

I do have one more blank notebook that I initially intended to use as a journal, but I decided against it after some thinking.

This is the one I was talking about here.

Until now, I have no idea what to write here. But I was actually thinking of writing sort of letters to my future "The One". I know it's cheesy and at some point, cringey. But hey, it's a part of me. I'm already 28 and I'm still living my life like a hermit. Maybe the words I wanted to write in this notebook could help me find a way.

One day, this will become a way for that to happen...

journal entry #108

Yup, I know. I missed another day. I'm not going to explain anymore. One thing I can tell — it was a boring and possibly productive day for me. Boring for my real self. Productive for my writer self. I know. It was weird and confusing at the same time. Don't mind me. I'm just... like this from time to time.

So, yeah. Internet connection is back today — specifically right around late afternoon. It's about time, you know. A part of me was glad and a part wasn't. Yup, here comes my confusing self again. Sorry. But then again, I might as well let it stay that way and kot dwell too much on it anymore. It's bad for my mind if I let those thoughts linger any longer than they should be.

Again, I think my mind wandered too far off with all those imaginings I've been doing during those "no internet connection to distract me" days. This time, it was about imagining myself falling in love with a certain celebrity. Not a local one, but a Japanese celebrity. Specifically, a Japanese stage actor. Well, at least I've been aware that he was active in stage play performances. And yet, that's all there is to it. Just an imagination. Highly unlikely that it will even become a reality with the kind og life I have. Not to mention, my father doesn't seem to have any plans of fixing my birth certificate at all. And to think it's one of the most important requirements for having a passport.

I wonder if there is a way for me to LEGALLY go to Japan and actually explore at least for once in my life. Or maybe something will happen to actually let me meet — Okay, what the heck am I writing here now?

Anyway, I think this would end here. Even though I want to write down my wish of meeting HIM on my journal, I think it's quite embarrassing. Especially when I have this weird feeling that one day, HE might read this. It might be just a feeling, though. I don't know what to think right now.

For now, it's time to say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

I know I haven't posted all of the photo edits I have about Moon Of The Fire. But I'm going to post this, showing the six main characters for the story.

.

Here they are:

.

⚜️Ridall (Shiono Akihisa) and Ireth (Okuyama Kazusa) were both from the Eaherus Kingdom and they were childhood friends.

⚜️Karis (Okubo Sakurako) and Vulzen (Itou Asahi) were born and raised in the Erudian Kingdom, with them being cousins.

⚜️Aros (Kishi Yousuke) and Hesnei (Yano Yuuka) were royal siblings and heirs to the throne of the Enirian Kingdom.

.

I'm still thinking if I should write their stories in a series form (similar to that of romance stories which was focused on one pair at a time) or in a different manner.

journal entry #107

I just got back from checking the water meter to see if there was something wrong. And seriously, more drunk men were loitering outside, which makes it quite scary to even go out. Anyway, I didn't really have any choice as I have a task to do. Hopefully, after that, water would start flowing since I didn't get to do it last Wednesday.

One thing that's definitely different today? No internet connection. And it was all because of that despicable rat's fault that chewed on the cable itself. I mean, seriously? I just hope by tomorrow, PLDT would be able to fix it since my mom specifically said that she needed the internet urgently due to her workload.

Because of not having an internet connection the whole day, it was obvious that I got bored. So I ended up thinking of quotes for the photo edits I had for the Angel Knights Chronicles series. I'm not done yet on doing that. But if this keeps up (the boredom, I mean), I might be able to actually finish it. Then again, my login streak in A3! would be disrupted. Wait, was that even the right word for it? Disrupted? Argh! I really should have a dictionary with me.

In any case, I'm still waiting for that water to arrive and I don't want to stay up really late again because of it.

For now, I'll end this entry since it's time for me to say good night. Even though it's obvious that I won't be sleeping any time soon. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

Should I still call this aesthetic? Maybe. But this is still about my planned story Moon Of The Fire, featuring the three prominent kingdoms of an alternate world (which I still need to figure out the right name for it). As for the clothes shown here, the noble and royal females have dresses inspired by Western designs. While the male members of the nobles and royals have East Asian-inspired robes — largely resembling that of the ancient Chinese and Korean clothings. This story will be a part of the Hundred Heavens' Knights Chronicles series.

This is related to the Moon Of The Fire story that I've been planning to write. So in that story, these six characters came from three different kingdoms with each kingdom has dominion over the powers of the air, the land, and the sea－much like the three tribes from Goseiger. Two of these characters are siblings from the kingdom with dominion over the powers of air, two were cousins from the kingdom that has control over the powers of the land, and two were best friends coming from a kingdom with jurisdiction over the powers of the sea. But I'll mention about who is who next time.

the last sky of the earth 95 - knight's scene: bitter past

"NAPAAGA yata ang pag-uwi mo rito."

Agad na napalingon si Tetsuya sa pinagmulan ng tinig na iyon. Napangiti siya nang makitang palapit si Amiko na may ilang linggo na rin niyang hindi nakikita.

"May kailangan lang akong kalkalin sa mga old files ko rito. Isa pa, nami-miss ko na rin si Lady Kourin. Kumusta na nga pala siya?"

"Huwag kang mag-alala. Wala pa namang masamang nangyayari sa kanya. Pero naroon pa rin ang posibilidad, lalo na't patay na si Oceanus," seryosong tugon ni Amiko.

journal entry #103

Three days... That's how long I haven't written anything in my journal. My only reason? Headache and A3! Sorry, I really got engrossed in playing that I almost neglected the others. Like my journal writing and my SNS accounts. I'm still posting on Kiki, but then I would only post 2 entries. I don't know why.

In any case, my badge in Kiki changed from Bronze Prime to Silver Creator. I didn't realize that I already posted 50 entries there. Anyway, I'd continue posting until I finally reach my $75 mark. At the moment, I'm still at $21. I guess I still have a lot more postings to do, huh? I still have no idea what to post next — and I needed a long entry to post there. Just something that would reach about $1 to $2. I guess I have to think it through, huh?

Right now, I'm having a runny nose and another onset of headache, for some reason. In the afternoon, I even slept just to let it fade 'cause I found myself actually crying a little because of it. I don't want to rely too much on drinking medicine, so I'm placing patches of Salonpas on my temples just to ease the headache at least a little bit. It's really annoying having to deal with it all the time.

I'm writing here a little earlier than usual because I had a feeling that I might forget it again. Maybe after this, I'll post something on my Wordpress blog, too.

We'll see.

For now, I'll end it here. Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #102

Last day of the month, huh? Man, I didn't even realize that it's been that long since... I don't know what. Anyway, everything just went by to me in a blur. A boring and monotone kind of blur, if I have to be honest. And I didn't like it one bit. I guess the things that gave this month a slight color to it would be the time I started posting in Kiki app and played the A3! game. Believe me, that gave a new meaning to my boring days.

Weird way to put it, huh?

Anyway, even if I don't have anything much to say to wrap this month up, it's still a month that I'm thankful for. I'm still in this world alive, in spite of those suicidal thoughts that would plague my mind every now and then. They're scary, to be honest.

Okay, I'd better stop right here before it gets somewhere. I have to sleep early, anyway. Only because my headache's really making it hard for me to conjure up plausible thoughts at the moment. Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

the last sky of the earth 94 - what if

MAY ilang araw nang hindi pinapatahimik si Seiichi ng isang tanong na bumaagabag sa isip niya pagkalabas ng ospital. Naroon na naman siya sa treasure room ng bahay niya dahil iyon lang ang alam niyang lugar na wala talagang mang-iistorbo sa kanya. Kahit si Reiko ay hindi alam ang tungkol doon dahil wala naman siyang balak na ipagsabi ang tungkol doon sa kababata.

For some reason, wala siyang gustong pagsabihan ng anumang tungkol sa lugar na iyon sa kahit kanino. Bukod sa iyon ang isa sa bilin ng kanyang namatay na ama, malaki ang hinala niya na walang ibang dapat makaalam ng tungkol sa nilalaman ng lugar na iyon. Knowing that his parents guarded each of the treasures in that room with their very lives, he had to at least do the same.

Iyon ang isa sa magagawa niya para sa mga magulang niya.

Ilang sandali pa ay napatingin si Seiichi sa Full Moon Sword at sa Iris Sword na inilagay na niya sa Treasure Room na iyon. Both of those swords held so much meaning to him and both had given him so much questions to think about. Lalo na ang naging tanong ni Reiko sa kanya nang maibalik ang nawalang Iris Sword ni Hitoshi sa kanya.

journal entry #100

My 100th journal entry! I can't believe I've written this many journal entries within the year. Yes, I know I've missed several days, but still. I can't believe I've written a lot of nonsense rants about how boring my life had been. Of course, there were times that it wasn't just rants, but also stories that I really wanted to talk about. And no, I wasn't just talking about my written stories, but also stories I found on the internet or even social media that I found interesting and intriguing, at the very least. I mean, seriously. Even when I was a student, I've never done that.

And because of that, I couldn't help asking why I've never written journal entries during those times. Yes, I did write some during high school. But not as almost consistent as the ones I did this year. Did I have a lot in my mind now that I decided to blurt it all out here, to write it here so that I could actually release it in some ways? At this point, I can't really provide an answer to that. Maybe the thoughts hovering in my mind were already too much for me to handle that I ended up using my journal notebook as an outlet instead of talking to someone. I wasn't really close to anyone in my family, to be honest. Sure, I could have some fun and have a few heart-to-heart talks with them. But not all the time. I couldn't do it. Yes, I figured that it was a selfish thought. And I'd like to let it stay that way. I'd rather let it all out in my journal.

journal entry #99

Red days start today and my head hurts. Well, I only slept for two hours, that's why. I did try to sleep more, but I couldn't for obvious reasons. So now I'll try to sleep early to compensate for that.

If I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what to write here today. As you can see, nothing much happened since I didn't get enough sleep. Except for the fact that I played A3! almost the whole day. Sorry. I did say I will catch up and do it all over again after resetting it. And now, I reached Rank 32. The last rank I had before the reset was Rank 35.

Because of that, I hadn't even checked any of my SNS. For real. I got caught up in playing the game that I didn't do anything else with my phone. Maybe except updating it. My phone, I mean. It's been a while since it updated.

So I guess this is it, for now. My head really hurts and I do think I have to sleep it in. Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #98

Two days. I haven't written in my journal in that long. The one to blame? A3! game. 😝 I know. Lame reason. I got immersed in playing the game that I'd rather not do anything else. But that's not good at all, I know. I did have a lot to write here in those 2 days that I've missed, but I never did.

Anyway, someone noticed that I got thinner. I was surprised to hear that and at the same time, I immediately knew the reason why. One of them would be my lack of proper sleep. Another is my food intake and eating time. All of them were not done properly. Even if I reason out that I couldn't force myself to find the right time to do those things properly, it's not a plausible excuse at all. And I will admit that it's my fault. These past few days, I could start feeling the effect of those negligence. Before writing this, I had to take in paracetamol because of headache. My throat was starting to become itchy, as well. But I have to buy carboceistein first. And maybe even lemons.

One weird thing I did today? Restart my game in A3! All because of storage capacity that my phone could handle. I know. Bad move. But I already did it. And at the time I did it, I made my resolve that I would be willing to start the game all over again. Too much work, but I was prepared for it.

Dramatic, huh? I know, and to think it was all for a mobile game. I hope I have that kind of passion when it comes to writing. Yes, another thing that I've been neglecting. Sorry.

Anyway, I think I'll stop here.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #97

I have no idea what to write. Or at least, on creating original content part of writing. This is for the Kiki app and I really need to do my best to actually think of a good (if not the best) content. Okay, I may not have the hard time conjuring and placing words to their respective places one after another. But the topic — I always have a hard time thinking of topics to talk about on blogs. At this point, I might be doing it randomly. You know, whatever topics that comes to mind. But I had a feeling that it's not going to work all the time.

Yes, I have those crazy thoughts running in my head for not being able to think of anything to write about or talk about. But just like what I kept on saying, I'll do my best, even though my best right now isn't exactly as motivating as it should. I'm figuring things out from here on out. I don't know where I'd be heading from here. But I'm seriously hoping for the best for now. I don't want to rush things just to receive money (or if ever I'd receive some through doing what I love).

At this moment, I'm thinking of writing something while thinking of a topic to put up on Kiki app. I'm still debating in my mind whether or not I would write a one-shot fanfic for an anime or Super Sentai. Man, this is nuts! Even writing a story could make me crazy like this.

Anyway, I'd better end this here for now because I really need to take this mind debating a little serious at the moment.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

the last sky of the earth 93 - knight's scene: last will

HINDI sigurado si Nanami kung para saan ang kabang bigla niyang naramdaman, dahilan upang mapatigil siya sa ginagawang swordsmanship practice sa dojo ng mga Shinomiya. Doon niya naisipang ibuhos ang oras na wala pang ipinapagawa sa kanya ang sinuman sa apat na leaders ng Shrouded Flowers.

Kahit sabihin pang naiintindihan ni Nanami ang posibleng dahilan kung bakit madalang silang bigyan ng anumang trabaho, hindi pa rin siya matahimik. Idagdag pa ang naging huling laban ng nakatatandang kapatid na ikinamatay ni Oceanus. Oo nga't ikinagulat niya iyon. At masama mang isipin, nakaramdam siya ng tuwa sa nangyari.

One of the thorns trying to hurt and destroy what remained of the Shinomiya family was gone. But it only added more danger to the real threat that could kill them all if they were not careful. Pero kahit alam ni Nanami ang tungkol sa katotohanang iyon, hindi pa rin niya maintindihan kung para saan ang isa pang kabang ilang araw na niyang nararamdaman.

Nanami did one more round of sword strikes and slash moves before calling off her practice. Kahit papaano ay kumalma siya matapos gawin iyon.

journal entry #95

I'm nearing 100 entries on my journal. I can't believe it! Even though most of what I've written here were rants and even bored posts, I still can't believe I did something like this. This is an accomplishment for me, you know. I haven't written this much journal entries by hand before. So I could definitely consider this as an achievement. Maybe this is something I could write on my Kiki blog.

Oh, yeah. That blog was something I just created a few hours ago through an FB friend's recommendation. Well, if I could actually find a way to earn money by actually doing what I love, then I'll go for it. I just need to be consistent about it. Right? For now, I've posted 8 quotes I've written before. I could only post 8 entries in 24 hours, so maybe I have to think carefully as to what content will I post next. Tomorrow, on my scheduled posting/update on Kiki. I was thinking of uploading posts this way:

• 4 quotes with quotes
• Story chapter/trivia
• Journal-like posts
• Book comments
• Episode comments

But if you're going to ask me, I'm a bit unsure if I'd be able to do the last 3. I just had that feeling. Anyway, we'll see. I just want to post something so that I could earn enough. I'll do what I can and I'll try my best to do it.

For now, I'll end this entry here. It's time to sleep or maybe watch more... whatever it is that I had to watch.

Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

journal entry #94

A sleepy way to start the week. I mean, seriously! I slept at 3 AM because of my task last night.  And I had a feeling that I've been quite grumpy the whole day. At least the walk from home to town helped me a bit. I had to pay for the internet bill, that's why. As usual, I walked going to the building where it was located. Nothing new, right? I mean, those walks really helped me in more ways than one since high school. They still helped keeping me sane from all the thoughts running in my head (including that of actually thinking to commit s**cide) and those thoughts would just vanish at the end of those walks. I guess I have to blame the sweat, heat, wind, and other things for those thoughts to disappear — even temporarily.

Speaking of temporary thoughts, I'm still contemplating on the fact that I don't know if I should write those future boyfriend/husband letters on the notebook I bought a few days ago or buy several sets of stationeries. Am I crazy for actually thinking of writing something like that? I'm probably starting to become desperate — or even hopeless, for that matter. But my age would soon disappear from the calendar and I guess I couldn't help it.

Oh, yeah. For the first time, I got to watch an IG live of Kishida Tatsuya. But if you asked me, I think this is the first time he actually had an IG live. If you asked me, it made me smile on my sleepy day. It's kind of refreshing, to be honest.

So that's how my day went, I guess. For now, I'll end this entry here 'coz it's time for me to sleep. Good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

Kairi/Umika (Lupinranger VS Patranger): Since We Met

If our star was flat, the two of us wouldn't have met... -- Loop, Sakamoto Maaya

xxxxxx

Umika doesn't know if this day could get any worse or what. Then again, what else was new? This was Kairi she was talking about. Of course, that guy would still be wondering around and not do his grocery duties for the Bistrot Jurer. She could only sigh exasperatingly at the thought.

Seriously, when would she see that guy change a little bit?

"Don't expect that he'll ever change. You might end up looking for the old him one day if he did decide to change his ways of doing things."

journal entry #92

For some reason, my muscles ache more than usual today. Okay, I know I walked from home to town (which is a usual thing for me to do). But my aching muscles today wasn't something I'd usually feel, if I say so myself.

Anyway, I'll be listing boring things (or perhaps even complaints) once again here. Bear with me, okay?

• Went out to see my father. A usual once a week thing to do, by the way, ever since my parents separated. We didn't eat outside since my sister and I already ate rice for breakfast that time and I guess my father didn't want to eat anything for some reason. What we did next? Head to the grocery.
• There was something about that grocery part that made me down again. I admit I forgot to get laundry soap, Zonrox, and fabric conditioner because my mind was a mess at that time. And I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to get any, considering the fact that my sisters were already getting their own stuffs to buy (and some were expensive, at that). And then here comes my mom, reprimanding me for actually forgetting it. The way she actually said it was condescending for me and I didn't like it at all. It gave me more negative thoughts and feelings than I could actually handle. In fact, I tweeted about it just as I was contemplating on it. It's better that I let it out that way, right? Or not.
• My sister wasn't sleeping here in our house tonight. My second sister, to be exact. Well, she kept on saying that she's an adult already so I had nothing to say about that. As for me, I'm an adult whose mind is either regressing or possibly heading to Alzheimer's. I don't know. I just had that feeling.
• Finally! I finished typing down that 4th chapter of the fanfic and now I'm trying to finish writing the second half of the 4th chapter of Francis and Ilsie's story.

Got bored already? Don't worry. It's always like that. My life has always been like that. And seriously, I have no idea what to do anymore about that.

For now, I think it's time for me to say good night. 😊❤️

おやすみなさい。。。

Yeong-jin Chon Character Introduction

YEONG-JIN CHON

Age: 23

Country: Jeonnan (reminiscent to South Korea)

Visual inspiration: Taehyun of TXT

.

"Wielder of the Blade of Mystery, Miragaserker Knight!"

.

Weston's quiet and slightly moody childhood friend who was the last to become a chosen knight. Described as the tactician of the group together with Weston, he grew up researching everything about the ancient Drurginar Clan and the Ilgrath tribe. Despite his stoic nature, he wasn't scared to admit to his childhood friend that he always feared the day the prophecy of total annihilation would come true. It manifested when the Drurginar Clan attacked Wesharia for the first time since their last onslaught in the ancient times that wiped out the entire Wesharian royal family. His research made him realize what truly happened at the night of the royal massacre and the second to discover the truth about the 'ultimate power of the grand beasts'.

.

Note: I actually reposted this because of a typo that I made on Yeong-jin's knight title.

Members of the Grimtol Clan Character Introduction

I'll be introducing those from the Grimtol clan first. And if you've read the first part of the first episode, there was one mentioned there who was closely related to the Tyrannoserker Knight, Callum Gardner.

.

⚜️Maru Kiuchi as Sophie Grace Grimtol-Gardner (Callum and Sofia's 14-year-old daughter, Summer and Hector's niece, and Edgar's granddaughter)

⚜️Hailee Steinfield as Sofia Marie Grimtol-Gardner ✝️ (Callum's deceased wife, Sophie's mother, Summer and Hector's younger sister, and Edgar's daughter)

⚜️Emily Robins as Summer Claire Grimtol (middle Grimtol child, Callum's sister-in-law, Sophie's aunt, Sofia and Hector's sister, and Edgar's daughter) - head researcher of the Ilgrath Battleforce Training Institute

⚜️Vincent Regan as Edgar Grimtol (Sofia, Hector, and Summer's father, Sophie's grandfather, and Callum's father-in-law) - former head of the Grimtol clan before passing on the duty to Hector

⚜️Scott Eastwood as Hector Jacob Grimtol (Sofia and Summer's older brother, Sophia's uncle, Callum's brother-in-law, and Edgar's son and eldest child) - current head of the Grimtol clan and the commander of the Ilgrath Battleforce Training Institute, the chosen knights' boss

Kieran Griffith Character Introduction

KIERAN GRIFFITH

Age: 20

Country: Wesharia (reminiscent to England)

Visual inspiration: Asa Butterfield

.

"Wielder of the Blade of Compassion, Mosaserker Knight!"

.

The known caretaker of the abandoned Faerseton Stronghold, he took pride of his duty in spite of the townspeople mocking his job to still take care of an old and deserted castle. He was the first person that each of the chosen knights met upon their arrival in Wesharia and it was soon discovered that his brother Rhett notified him of their arrival for some reason. He was chosen to become an additional knight when he started hearing the voice of another Ilgrath Guardian asking him to restore the glory that was only right for the murdered royal family. Despite the youngest of all the chosen knights, his way of thinking seemed to be older than the rest.

Kavi Benjawan Character Introduction

KAVI BENJAWAN

Age: 24

Country: Sarathom (reminiscent to Thailand)

Visual inspiration: Lee Thanat

.

"Wielder of the Blade of Harmony, Saberserker Knight!"

.

A playful and cheerful young man who dreamed of becoming a Ruarden Knight since he was a kid. However, people would always point out his lack of seriousness when in comes to training. But without a doubt, his combat skills was something to reckon with, as the other knights soon noticed. His playful nature would sometimes land him into trouble, but this had also made him realize the true nature of the war that the Ruarden Knights were supposed to deal with. It started upon stumbling on the abandoned Faerseton Stronghold, the one he knew was just a place of myth that held the grand power everyone had been searching for.

Hizuru Akibara Character Introduction

HIZURU AKIBARA

Age: 22

Country: Tousato (reminiscent to Japan)

Visual inspiration: Mio Imada

.

"Wielder of the Blade of Strength, Ankyloserker Knight!"

.

The youngest of the core five knights and the only girl in the team, with her possessing unbelievable combat strength that the guys, especially Callum, would point out. But her strength was something that came about because of an incident when she was young that made her two martial artist brothers decided for her to train. The kidnapping and almost bullying instances that she experienced made her quite protective of her family and her teammates. Despite not having an interest of becoming a Ruarden Knight at first even after arriving in Wesharia, it changed upon encountering several members of the Drurginar Clan attacking everything and everyone inside the Fortress and the capital of Wesharia.

Weston Monteloyola Character Introduction

WESTON MONTELOYOLA

Age: 25

Country: Escañoz (reminiscent to Philippines)

Visual inspiration: Alden Richards

.

"Wielder of the Blade of Hope, Triceraserker Knight!"

.

The second oldest of the new chosen knights, he decided to become a part of the Ruarden Fortress trainees because of his girlfriend's encouragement who already saw his potential to become a warrior. Always calm even in a dire situation, he would always do his best to pacify his teammates' frustration and worries. He was seen to be close to Yeong-jin as soon as the team finally gathered as they turned out to be childhood friends. He was the first to discover the truth about the 'ultimate power of the grand beasts' and even about the secret of the Faerseton Stronghold's caretakers.

Callum Gardner Character Introduction

CALLUM GARDNER

Age: 27

Country: Coalsano (reminiscent to USA)

Visual inspiration: Bryan Dechart

.

"Wielder of the Blade of Courage, Tyrannoserker Knight!"

.

The oldest of the new chosen knights, he started training late to become a part of the Ruarden Fortress trainees because he prioritized his responsibility as a young father to his daughter first ever since his wife died. Appointed as the leader of the team by the knights themselves, his fatherly nature made him quite protective to his younger teammates and would be willing to take the blow for them if it comes to that. Even so, he would always make sure that the other knights won't be uncomfortable around him just because he was the oldest. That was why he developed the habit of playing pranks to his teammates just to lighten up the atmosphere when things got tensed and would always point out Hizuru's combat strength, much to her irritation.

journal entry #88

TGIF! Not really. I could thank any day of the week as long as they don't give me anything to actually curse it. Anyway, I can't believe that this is my 88th entry in my journal. I did miss out an amount of days, but that doesn't mean I don't have anything to talk about here.

For some reason, I had a feeling that after tomorrow, our lives will be a little hard to deal with. And perhaps the issue of my unemployment would be brought up again. I could never avoid it, because I know it's true. But that issue had already done its best to destroy my self-esteem, my self-confidence, and everything. I'm not as skilled as my sisters. I'm not madiskarte like them. I'm not witty like them. I just... couldn't redeem myself again after those two failures I had ln my previous jobs. Motivation... I guess I also used it — a long time ago. I don't know and for what reason, but I knew I already lost it. And now... I couldn't find any means of getting it back.

And now that I'm recalling my failures, I think it started to fall apart for me when I failed my NC-II when I was in college. I think that failure was the start of it. That failure really hit me hard, even though I didn't cry when it happened. After that, I guess I started thinking that in spite of my efforts to do everything I can, to do my best, I would eventually fail and it would crush me again.

I've failed everyone with me just being here inside the house and not actually doing anything to find a job. But it seems like nothing is penetrating in my mind for me to actually do something about it so that it would stop. I'm just numb from all of their words that, even though I hear, would never get through for me to actually process. I don't know what to do with that anymore.

Maybe I should stop right here now. This entry is starting to let me think of things that shouldn't even appear in my mind. I will get through this, right? Tell me that I will.

Good night. 😊❤️ おやすみなさい。。。

the last sky of the earth 92 - knight's scene: whirlwind falcon

Chrono had just given Mamoru an even bigger reason for the Yumemiya clan leader to decide to leave the mansion and head somewhere else just to confirm his suspicion. Hindi talaga niya inasahan ang ipinagtapat sa kanya ng pinsan tungkol sa isa na namang iniutos ni Hitoshi rito. Gusto na talaga niyang magwala dahil sa dami ng tanong na nagsusulputan sa kanyang isipan tungkol sa mga ipinapagawa ni Hitoshi sa kanilang lahat bago ito napatay.

Pero hanggang doon lang ang kaya niyang gawin. Kahit na ganoon nga ang kagustuhan niya, hindi pa rin niya tuluyang maisasagawa iyon dahil wala na ring silbi.

‘This isn't just about protecting the last princess of the Shinomiya clan. May iba ka pang gustong protektahan pero hindi mo na magawa kaya sa amin mo iniutos ang tungkol doon.’ Iyon ang naisip ni Mamoru habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana ng kanyang study room. Hitoshi had left them more mysteries to solve than any of them could imagine.

"You shouldn't be thinking too much. Lalong makakasama sa 'yo iyon."

journal entry #87

...and so the issue of me being unemployed was brought up once again. I don't know what brought that up, but something had definitely acted as a trigger for that to happen. I know it's a really worrying issue on their part since I would be at the losing end if I don't do something about it.

But the most worrying part of it was my... nonchalant reaction to it. It's like... I don't have any plans at all. So now what? I'll just die like this if I don't do something to support myself? I can't rely on my father at all when it comes to that. He'll just lecture me nonstop and I don't want to add anymore resentment towards him than what is already existing in my heart. It's hard to bear that already and it's too much for me.

journal entry #86

I'd better write something in my journal but I'd actually forget again. And since I'm not yet sleepy, I might as well take that as my chance. You do know that my usual reasons for not writing an entry in my journal is either because I'm tired, it's cold for my hand to actually work on the writing, I'm sleepy or I just don't feel like writing anything at all. The last one sounds like a lazy person's reasonings, huh?

So am I supposed to list the events here or what? Even though there wasn't so much to tell. Anyway, I think I could input 2-3 things.

• I was able to go to town. As usual, to do an errand for my mother. And yes, I had to do it to satisfy her cravings.
• Currently writing the 4th chapter of Francis' story. I do know I won't be able to finish it tonight but I hope I'd be able to by tomorrow. Two more scenes left before it happens.
• Just watched the 29th episode of Ryusoulger and it wasn't too much of a surprise for me to actually see Nada inside Gaisourg's armor. I do have a lot of questions about that, but I guess I'll just wait for the next episode to air.
  
  
  
• Oh, yeah. I got another wound on my finger. Seriously, what is with the knife in our house injuring me without me realizing it?

So that's how my day went. Not so much, but I'd still consider this a good day for me. Anyway, it's time for me to end this entry here and say good night. おやすみなさい。。。