For Now

I can't write again
I can't find inspiration
In short, I've been procrastinating again

Should I just hit my head somewhere?
Maybe it'll help me despite the pain it'll bring
But that thought only made me laugh
As I listen to two songs playing on repeat

I can only do this for now
Since I can't concentrate
I can only let my mind do the work
As I imagine a love story
That perhaps I won't be able to write

I can't tell for now
But I hope one day I'd be able to
I want the world to know about it
I want the world to read it

If it would lead me to you, my destined someone
Then it would definitely be a wonderful dream come true

But perhaps it won't happen anytime soon

The Sunday Currently # 7

Seven… I hope this will be something lucky, huh? Yes, this is my seventh Sunday Currently entry and it will be the last for this year. I rarely finish something like this before, so this is considered an achievement for me. I’ve never posted something sensible in my previous blogs that I ended up deleting before. It’s December 27 and only a few more days before the year 2015 finally ends. I’m not sure if this has been a good year for me. But I can’t say it’s a bad one, either.

Well, the only thing I wished for now would be good health and perhaps, a love life. If it’s God’s will, then I’d be really thankful for that. Of course, let’s not forget a stable job. That way, I’d be able to help my family.

I’d let that stay as a wish for now.

So this Sunday, I’m currently:

[#RomanceClass Podcast] Episode 3 (Blast From Two Pasts by Kristel S. Villar – Excerpt)

Yes! They’ve finally posted it. Thank you for that. So I guess this means the postings for the podcast would be every Saturday until they finally covered the entire season, right? At least I need to be aware of that. But you know what? This was one of the reasons that made me feel excited for Saturdays to come.

Even though the postings were just excerpts from the books, it actually made me anticipate the feels that it would give me as I listen to each podcast episode. I’m not sure how the authors would react to this post once they read it. If ever they’d read it, of course. But even though I couldn’t buy each book for the time being since I don’t have that much money to purchase at least one or two of them, at least I want to let them know that I truly enjoy listening to their novels’ reading. It doesn’t matter if it’s just an excerpt. They’re all beautiful, at least I can tell that.

Saturday Night Thoughts # 7

Finally! I’m able to write this one after skipping it for how many weeks already. Okay… it’s not that long, right? I only skipped writing this for a week or two. See, I wasn’t even sure.

As usual, my head hurts at the moment. But not because of stress or anything related to that. It’s about the weather. December always makes me feel like this. I can’t do anything about it. Unless I forced myself to change my habit, then I won’t be able to prevent myself from getting sick like this.

It’s December 26 today—err… I mean tonight. Six more days to go and it’ll be goodbye 2015. I’m not sure if it’s a good year for me or not. I want to recall the good things that had happened. But most of the time, the bad ones overshadowed them. And honestly, it’s making my head hurts even more. But I want to be thankful for keeping me alive and with my family all year. Even though our relationship to my father had gone worse than last year, I could say that at least I still got my mother and my three sisters.

No love life for me for the past year. There’s no surprise about that. I wasn’t wishing for it, though. But I can’t say if I’d be able to do it again next year. The year 2015 made me realize that, more often, I’ve been fickle-minded. I hate it, to be honest. And I guess that made my head hurts even more. So I guess, by next year, I’ll try my best to change that. Hopefully, I’d be able to.

Seriously, for someone who had skipped writing this post for about two weeks or so, this post indicating my return to writing a Saturday Night Thoughts entry was pretty short. This is getting crazy.

Some Christmas Morning Thoughts

Merry Christmas to all of you who will be able to read this post! Hehe! It’s almost 2 in the morning when I was typing this down. But even though I was supposed to sleep already, I ended up doing this. Probably because I can’t sleep. I was also supposed to write open letters I’m going to dedicate to Maine Mendoza, Alden Richards, and to the new Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach. But then I ended up doing this.

I’ve been having a lot of bad and negative thoughts lately. Over the months, it’s been like that. I can’t stop it. It affected me big time but I’m trying my best not to let it destroy me fully. I can’t function fully because of those negative vibes and thoughts hovering around me for so long. I rarely pray. I rarely go to the church for a mass. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about Him. It’s just that… I only talked to him when I was on the verge of crying. For a sensitive girl like me who gets easily affected, my tears fall almost in an instant when it truly hurts and stings me.

The Sunday Currently # 6

Since I haven’t written any Saturday Night Thoughts (again), and I haven’t written a Sunday Currently post last week, I thought it’s about time I get back on tracks. Sheesh! It’s been a weird week for me. At least that’s what I think. And from what I’ve noticed, productivity left me. Seriously. I haven’t even proceeded with my writings even though I knew and I kept on saying to myself that I need to finish it before Christmas. I have to pass my manuscript, that’s why. It’s been a long time since I last passed any manuscript and I don’t want to wallow on misery just because of a returned manuscript. I don’t want that kind of spirit to disturb me now that Christmas is coming near.

My gosh! I can’t believe it’s only 5 days left before Christmas. But for me, I can’t really feel the hype. And I don’t have to explain why. Various reasons, but I don’t want to elaborate it since I don’t want to ruin everything. I don’t want my Christmas spirit be damped with more negative vibes than what had already hovered around for more than a year in our family. I’m not sure how I want things about me to change after this year. But I do hope that the coming 2016 will be something good for me.

Or at least, I’ll try to let it be good to me. But I’ll think about that later.

So this Sunday, I’m currently:

[#RomanceClass Podcast] Episode 2 (Never Just Friends/Fallen Again by Mina V. Esguerra – Excerpt)

And so I’m done with writing down my thoughts about the first episode of the Romance Class Podcast. I’m not sure if what I wrote makes any sense, though. I’ve always been like that. No matter how I try to let my thoughts remain coherent, there had been times when I tend to ramble some unrelated topics.

See? I’m doing it again. So now let’s get back to the topic before something else lure me away from it again.

This time, the podcast was a reading of an excerpt from Mina V. Esguerra’s book “Never Just Friends”. It was told in 3^rd person POV. This reading was on Jake’s as he narrated his encounter with Lindsay again and signed a sort of contract that would let him stay with her for three uninterrupted weeks, as he stated it. Probably to make it up to her for the lost times? I don’t know. Who knows?

It really makes me want to buy the book but I guess I’d do it next time. But the real thought that hit me after listening to this was: Would I be able to find a guy like Jake who would joke on all sort of miracles just to be with me? Without interruptions, of course. Weird question, I know.

Anyway, I think I’d be able to find the answer to that in the future. Perhaps not even too soon.

In any case, here’s the video of the podcast’s second episode. Happy romantic listening!

All I Did

All I did was to tear papers
Instead of writing what I need to
It seems productivity left me
And inspiration did the same
So I ended up doing another thing

All I did was to continue dreaming
Of how will my love story happen one day
I’ve never felt so unloved in my life
And I’m feeling hopeless that I would even find
The one meant for me to love all my life

All I did was to sleep when my eyes felt so tired
But scenes I think of made me tear up
I couldn’t keep them at bay
As I thought of reasons why
Even in my imagination, I still end up losing you

This was all I did for the past week
This was all I did as I think of you
This was all I did
And yet here I am
Still thinking if I could do so much more

But before all that
Will I ever have a chance
To find you for once in my life?

[AlDub / Kalyeserye] Episode 132 (5th Monthsary) – December 16, 2015

Kung tama ang pagkakatanda ko, this is the first time na nag-celebrate ng monthsary sina Alden at Maine na magkasama. At sa Broadway Studio pa talaga kasama ang mga lola na nag-e-enjoy naman sa treat ni Alden para sa mga ito. I like the fact na talagang ipinaalala ni Alden kay Maine `yong day na nag-audition ito sa Eat Bulaga. Totoo nga naman ang sinabi niya. Hindi mangyayari ang lahat ng ito kung hindi nagpunta doon si Maine para mag-audition.

Hindi man nagsasalita si Maine at pinapakinggan lang ang sinasabi ni Alden, I have to admit na napaluha din ako habang tinitingnan ko ang expression ni Maine. Parang hindi pa rin talaga nagsi-sink in sa kanya ang lahat. Na for the past five months since that fated July 16, hindi niya inakalang mababago nang husto ang buhay niya. Nagustuhan ko rin `yong message nila para sa isa’t-isa (na nagpaiyak na naman kay Alden) at saka `yong naging sagot nila sa tanong ni Allan K tungkol sa kung ano ba ang naramdaman nina Alden at Maine the first time they saw each other on split screen.

Actually, kung pakaiisipin nga naman, hindi natin alam ang tungkol sa naramdaman nila on that first day until… this day. So I guess it was a good thing na itinanong na rin ito ni Allan sa kanila. At least now, we knew what they felt about all that had transpired that day. At gaya nga ng tweet ni Sir Joey de Leon, this was one of the best KS episode so far. And I have to agree to that.

[AlDub/Kalyeserye] Episode 131 (Tatay Dodong) – December 15, 2015

This is the second day na silang dalawa lang ang nasa barangay. And if I’m not mistaken, the first time na wala ang tatlong lola sa location ng Sugod Bahay. Napansin ko lang na parang sinasanay na sina Maine at Alden sa hosting. Tinitingnan siguro kung paano nila iha-handle ang Sugod Bahay na silang dalawa lang. Hindi naman kasi puwede na si Maine lang ang gumawa n’on at baka mahirapan naman ito. Come to think of it, was there even a time na iisa lang ang nag-Sugod Bahay sa JoWaPao? Basta, iyon na iyon. Baka in time na lang masasagot ang tanong kong iyon. Ito kasi ang napapala ng matagal na hindi panonood ng TV, eh. Kung hindi pa nauso ang KS, hindi pa ako babalik sa panonood ng TV.

Nagustuhan ko rin iyong pagdating ni Cindy to clarify things with Alden and Maine. At least, all’s well that ends well na ang peg nilang tatlo after Cindy’s appearance. Kahit na sa totoo lang ay hindi matagalan ng tainga ko ang pagsasalita niya, lalo na kapag nagta-Tagalog siya. No offense meant. Natawa na lang ako sa paraan ng pagtatanong ni Alden kay Maine tungkol sa sulat na natanggap nito, na itinanong niya kung manliligaw daw ba iyon ni Maine. Grabe lang kung bakuran si Yaya, eh, `no? Wagas din kung makapag-inquire. Parang naagawan lang ang peg ng lalaking `to.

As for this episode, binuksan na rin ang topic tungkol sa tatay ni Yaya Dub na si Dodong. At gusto daw nitong makita si Yaya. Noon kasi, binanggit ni Lola Nidora na hindi nalaman ni Dodong na si Yaya Dub ang anak nito kasi ipinalabas niya na yaya si Divina at hindi ito ang anak ni Dodong kay Ursula. So here’s my question now. Paano nalaman ni Dodong na anak niya si Yaya?

[#RomanceClass Podcast] Episode 1 (Fall Like Rain by Ana Tejano – Excerpt)

This was the first time I’ve listened to a podcast. It’s the truth. Though I’ve been aware of it for a long time, I’ve never actually tried listening to any of it until now. I’ve learned about the Romance Class podcast through Twitter, though I wasn’t sure which author’s account.

I’m familiar about the books that had been products of Mina V. Esguerra’s Romance Class. But I don’t have money to purchase those books, be it in digital or in print. And then this podcast came out.

VESPIRIA: A MAGICAL DIMENSION OF 3 WORLDS AND 7 LANDS

I know. Masyadong mahaba ang title ng post na ito. Pero wala na akong ibang maisip na mas magandang title, eh. And I guess it just fits. Anyway, this was originally conceptualized way back 2004 or 2005 pa po back when I was still in second year high school. Ganoon na po katagal ang kuwentong ito sa akin na dati ay narration lang ang nagawa ko. Hindi ko pa natapos although naiisip ko na po ang magiging ending. Hehe! The basic idea of the story remained even though I revised it before. This was inspired by my love for Encantadia. And I was ecstatic when they announced a remake of the said series. Paniguradong aabangan ko na naman ito. Matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakakapanood ng any TV series sa GMA, eh.

The word “Vespiria” was something I conjured by playing with the words “vessel” and “spirit”. Originally, Vespir lang dapat ang gagamitin kong word kaya lang, I decided to add “-ia” sa huli. This was the word na nabuo ko nang maisipan kong gawan ng Filipino version ang Super Sentai story na sinusulat ko. Until I decided not to pursue that dahil ayoko nang pahirapan ang sarili ko. In fairness lang, ang dami ko nang story plans. Noong una, Farhallia pa ang ginamit ko as the name of the magical dimension. At dahil magulo ang utak ko, heto at nabago na naman ang title ng kuwentong ito.

Someday

It’s 10 am and here I am.
I think of things that I want to do.
I have so many dreams that I have with you.
Yet here I am, thinking if it will ever come true.

I sit here in one corner, pondering in the dark.
Will the time comes I’d be able to see you?
Will my dreams I have about you become reality?
Will you pick me up and say “here I am and I’ll hold you in my arms forever”?

It’s really weird for me to think like this.
To think of you as if you truly exists in reality.
But there’s nothing wrong with wishing, right?
There’s nothing wrong for me to wish in silence for a someday with you.

Underneath the sakura tree that’s blooming so beautiful,
That’s where my dream usually takes me.
But please take me there someday
And make me realize that reality is far better than a dream.

Someday, take me into your arms.
Someday, let fate allow me to know you’re real.
One day, hold me close and don’t let go.

The Sunday Currently # 5

How did November treats you, everyone? I hope you had a great one despite having a lot of what-nots and problems you encountered along the way. Well, my November didn’t treat me right, if you asked me. But then it’s okay. At least, it’s already December. Weird enough, I can’t feel the Yuletide season’s air. Which means, I can’t feel the Christmas vibes even though I kept on seeing Christmas trees and decorations from one house and establishments to another. Though I listen to some Christmas songs, it didn’t help me breathe the Christmas air into my system. Hopefully, this month will treat me right somehow.

And before I forgot, this will be my first Sunday Currently post for December. Unfortunately, this is one December when I don’t anticipate the coming of Christmas day since I don’t participate with the Christmas countdown. Lame life I have, I know.

`Can’t help it. Sorry for that.

So this Sunday, I’m currently:

“Someday We’ll Know” By Sharmaine Light

Okay, this is the second book comment I’m going to write for the same author. The first one I wrote was actually about her 1st published book under Lifebooks. This time, it’s about her first published book under Precious Hearts Romances. Hehe! Ewan ko lang kung may sense ba ang pinagsususulat ko rito.

The Sunday Currently # 4

Yup, I know I haven’t posted something like this last week. The same goes to my Saturday Night Thoughts blog. I wasn’t really hyped up to write anything about what happened to me this past week. I was all down and I tended to procrastinate about… almost everything. I don’t know. A lot had happened and all I did was to rant—which is a really bad habit of mine, by the way. Don’t be like that. It won’t do you good.

But then, it was a good thing that my SOR finally arrived and I was able to send it back for me to have everything settled about it. And I was able to finish a few of my pending stories—so far. Hopefully, I’ll be able to have the same energy to do what I need to do with regards to my writings.

In other words, I hope I’d be able to beat procrastination for good. Hopefully…

So this Sunday, I’m currently:

Saturday Night Thoughts # 6

I know I haven’t posted something like this last week. Well, wala po kasi sa focus ang utak ko that time at ang tanging laman lang ay pulos rants at kung anu-ano pang hindi ko na dapat ilahad dahil ayoko nang masira ang week ko.

During the past week, all I did was to procrastinate in writing. Kaya heto… Walang naging progress. But after trying my best to beat it,finally! I’m done writing the 2nd one-shot for ‘Just One’ series. I can’t believe I’m able to finish this kind of writing one shots. Never ko pa kasing nasubukang magsulat ng one shot na gamit ang 50 prompts and those prompts should be used in creating sentences that will form a story.

Wait… May sense ba 'tong naging explanation ko? Sana naman. But if not, pagpasensiyahan na lang po ako. Palibhasa, isa po ako sa mga hindi pa rin maka-get over at maka-move on sa episode ng Kalyeserye kanina.

Sana lang, magamit ko na itong inspirasyon sa pagpapatuloy ng isinusulat ko. In fairness lang, ang dami ko na palang naka-pending na isusulat. Sana naman, matanggal ko na ang habit kong nagpo-procrastinate kung kailan naman kailangang-kailangan ko nang magsipag sa pagsusulat.

DETECTIVE TENNIS/SEASONS OF CHANCES AND LOVE TIMELINES

Though I haven’t started writing Detective Tennis Part 3 with the working title “Dangers of the Forgotten Chronicles”, I can already envision Oshitari Yuushi and Hondou Kazumi’s interactions as cousins, especially upon finally discovering the girl’s other skill aside from piano and tennis.

By the way, for those who are curious, Hondou Kazumi first appeared in Seasons of Chances and Love 1: Classic Love In Spring. She will have an important participation in DT Part 3 due to her connection with the Miyuzaki twins Takumi and Tsukasa. The twins were Miyuzaki Kana’s elder siblings.

And since this has came up, I realized that I haven’t fully explained the timeline that each POT fanfic I wrote had. Of course, I’ll only explain the connected ones. The stories are all listed in order of their timeline/arcs.

Saturday Night Thoughts # 5

Nothing much.

That’s what I can say about what happened to me over the week. I know I haven’t posted something like this last week. I was actually preoccupied with something else. Same old problems. Nothing much has changed.

Seriously, why is it so hard for prideful people to forget and move on? Well, I asked this because of my father. I don’t want to rant about him as much as possible because it will definitely irritate me to the core. I’d rather deal with another issue instead of dealing with someone who can’t seem to move on and all closed ears when you reason to him.

Sakuno With The Princes

As I browsed my stories posted in FFN, I noticed that I wrote several fanfics with Sakuno as the female lead. Not that I don’t like RyoSaku ones. It’s just that I’m not accustomed to it. Personally, I like her getting paired to a tennis regular other than Ryoma.

So now that this came up, I created a list of Sakuno stories I’m going to write and will write in the future. Most of them will be one-shots, though. (NOTE: The numbers in parentheses represent the number of fics I’ve written and posted to FFN with that particular pair as lead characters)

1. Ryoma and Sakuno (2)
2. Yukimura and Sakuno (2)
3. Kirihara and Sakuno (1)
4. Kajimoto and Sakuno (1)
5. Sanada and Sakuno (2)
6. Atobe and Sakuno
7. Eiji and Sakuno
8. Tezuka and Sakuno
9. Niou and Sakuno (1)
10. Marui and Sakuno
11. Yanagi and Sakuno
12. Yagyuu and Sakuno
13. Jirou and Sakuno
14. Shirashi and Sakuno
15. Fuji and Sakuno
16. Kenya and Sakuno
17. Yuushi and Sakuno
18. Ootori and Sakuno

I stil have to think about the other pairing options, though. But for now, this is what I have in mind.

Just To Let You Know...

Okay. Just earlier, someone left a review on my fanfic story “Tennis Court Murders” about the series’ Part 3 and 4. Honestly, I want to reply to her inquiry. But seeing that she left the review as a guest, it won’t be possible. So I decided to just leave it here since this is my blog specially for my fanfiction stories posted on FFN.

I have stated in the epilogue’s author note that there will be a Part 3 and 4 for the Detective Tennis series I’ve been writing for years (literally and slowly, I might add). But to be honest, the only thing I have right now for the continuation of Tennis Court Murders are story plots/concepts. Which means I haven’t started writing the story just yet. Too many distractions and hindrances, that’s why.

But that doesn’t mean I’ll be abandoning the series. I just need time to finally begin writing the Part 3 which will have “Dangers of the Forgotten Chronicles” as a working title. There’s still a lot of planning to do if I want to make it happen, you know.

So until then, please. I want you to be patient in waiting for it to be posted. Trust me. I’m excited to write the next part of the crossover fanfic series since it involves Rikkaidai. Hehe!

The Sunday Currently # 3

It’s Sunday once again and it’s the beginning of another week for all of us. But for me, to be honest, it’ll be another “dragging” week of wishing and muttering and tiring moments to come to my life. I can’t do anything about it. It all felts like I’ve given up. I couldn’t do anything anything else other than to mumble about how my life should’ve been and how I want my life to become if I had actually done something to prove myself. But then it’s useless. Until I find a way to get out of this, I’ll just remain to be the useless girl my parents and even my sisters knew me.

Sad but true.

So this Sunday, I’m currently:

Love Letter From The Ancient Times

I don’t usually watch Korean drama. Okay, let me rephrase that. I don’t watch TV dramas on a regular basis. I’m more of an anime fan, though. And more often, I prefer dramas in anime than in live action dramas--if you know what I mean. Yes, anime lover lang naman po ako. Hindi nga lang halata. Pero kapag nagkainteres akong manood, minsan ay piling-pili pa ang mga pinapanood ko. Some of those Korean dramas I chose to watch was “The Moon That Embraces The Sun” and Sungkyunkwan Scandal”. See? Pareho pang historical fiction drama.

But that’s not the reason why I suddenly decided to open up watching Korean dramas. This post has something to do with the letter in the final episode of “Queen Inhyeon’s Man”. And do I have to say that I’m such a fan of sappy love letters? `Guess I didn’t mention that yet. But that’s okay. So before I decide to go on with my post, this is the letter I was talking about, though I’m posting it here in its English translation.

The Sunday Currently # 2

It’s the 8th of November and the second Sunday here at our newly-rented house. Wow! May isang linggo na rin pala. Nakakaloka lang. Nag-uumpisa na naman ang pag-iisip ko ng mga negative thoughts dahil sa mga nangyari this past week. But I’ll try to remove them from my mind as soon as possible. It’s not good for me to do that--at all! November na pala. Ilang araw na lang bago mag-Christmas. Kunsabagay, malamig na sa paligid, eh. At kapag nasa Baguio ka, normal na lang masakit sa balat na tirik ng araw during daytime habang makapamaluktot na lamig ng hangin at temperatura naman pagsapit ng gabi. Naku, dobleng kacket pa more ang katapat nito! Dagdagan mo pa ng makapal na pajama/pants at medyas.

It’s quiet around me as I write this kaya heto, tuloy-tuloy ang pagsusulputan ng kung anu-anong isipin sa utak ko. I can’t even do anything to stop it.

But let’s get on to the “real issue”, shall we?

So this Sunday, I’m currently:

Saturday Night Thoughts # 4

Wow! Seriously, I can’t believe I’d be able to keep up posts with this particular title for few consecutive Saturdays. Probably because it’s hard for me to maintain blogs like this. At least, that was the case before. Yup, I know. Weird. I usually lose interest over various things if it’s starting to get a bit complicated for me. But then I have to exclude writing on that since even though I got too many rejections and criticisms about it, it didn’t actually stop me from writing. Sure, I have my lazy moments. But that didn’t really forbid me to keep doing this.

Okay, enough with this drama. Back to the ‘real issue’. Chos! Just kidding.

A Letter To: My Disappointed Parents

I’m sorry. I know it’s short, but that’s all I can say for now. I know I’ve disappointed you for so long now. I’m sorry. To think I’m the eldest child who managed to graduate in college and yet here I am, still stuck with what I want to do rather than do what is necessary to help you. I’m crying as I write this, in case you don’t know. Maybe because I couldn’t force myself to do anything. Pessimism is one reason. Not having enough guts is the other.

Sometimes, I couldn’t help wishing that maybe I should disappear, right? Since I’m the eldest daughter who can’t even find the effort to help you in every way, I can’t help thinking that way. But I know from the start that it’s wrong. Disappearing would only make things worse than ever. I can understand where your disappointment to me is coming from. It’s because all your words to me are falling on deaf ears. I keep refusing to listen to your advices about finding a job since it’s about time I help you and at least ease your burden for at least a little. I’m an irresponsible daughter and I accept that. I know I’ve been for a long time since I graduated.

The Sunday Currently # 1

Reading other people’s blogs let you discover a lot of things. At least, I discovered a lot of things as I read Maine Mendoza’s blog. One of them was this—the Sunday Currently post in which the original link-up was created by siddathorton. And I think it’s fun to do the same thing. As of this post, Maine already posted 4 volumes of her Sunday Currently blog post. So I thought, why not join the fun? That means, starting today—this Sunday, I mean—I’ll be posting my own volumes of Sunday Currently in addition to my posts on Saturday Night Thoughts. This is just to sum up my week by far. So, here goes.

This Sunday, I’m currently:

Saturday Night Thoughts # 3

I can’t believe I’d be able to write another Saturday Night Thoughts since right now, as I write this, I’m beat. Dead tired, if you want another description. But to inform you who were reading this post, this is actually the very first entry I’m writing here in a new room. That’s right, we’ve just more to our new house (though we’re still renting since we can’t afford to buy one). I have lots of hopes now that we’ve finally relocated. Thankfully, the atmosphere inside the house isn’t that heavy or depressing.

But even though I said that the atmosphere is quite good, I’m actually worried about my approved manuscript’s SOR (Sales Of Rights). It’s been more than a month since my manuscript was approved and yet it hasn’t arrived yet. It’s frustrating me, in case you don’t know. And to think I need it the most right now. Well, at least the cheque that goes with it. But I’ll do my best to be patient. I’ll breath in and out to calm myself in order to think positive about it. I’ll try, but it won’t guarantee me a big amount of help.

And I Cried...

...which is seriously an indication that I’m almost at my limit. Or at least my patience and understanding. I don’t know the concrete reason why I cried. But one thing I know, life as you try to put up with people who doesn’t appreciate every bit of your effort really sucks. For real. And then I’ll be including those who only notice your mistakes and monitors every move you make, as if just waiting for you to commit them.

Okay, enough with the English introduction. In fairness, masyado pala akong ma-drama kapag nagsusulat ng English, ah. Pasensiya naman po. Sobrang frustrated lang. Nakakainis pa! Pasalamat na lang talaga at ayokong sumisigaw even though I’m already at my limit. I never do that even if I had the urge to do something like that. Hanggang iyak lang talaga ako. Okay na ako sa walang tigil na pagtulo ng luha at paminsan-minsang pagsinghot para walang uhog na tumulo. Mas mabuti na `yon.

"The Last Sky Of The Earth" Pinoy Version?

Lately, I've been thinking of creating a Filipino version of my Wattpad story "The Last Sky Of The Earth". Especially 'yong Book 1 na "The Hunt For The Dark Rose". Yes, I've written it in Tagalog-English.

What I mean about the Filipino version is that the portrayers I'm going to use would be local artists. And the names of the characters aren't in Japanese.

Ang tanong, may magbabasa ba?

#ALDubEBTamangPanahon: THIS IS IT, FINALLY! (Thoughts On AlDub/Kalyeserye Episode 87)

I know this is a late post. May hangover pa rin ako sa mga pangyayari last Saturday. I’ll try my best not to make a long (and possibly boring) post about this one. Anyway, pasensiya na po kayo—sa mga nagbabasa ng mga post ko kung meron man po—kung may mga boring post ako sa account kong ito. Mas marami lang po kasi akong nasasabi sa tuwing nagsusulat ako. Hopefully, my hand could keep up with my mind in writing all my thoughts about this one.

Isa lang talaga ang masasabi ko all in all. It was surreal. Honestly, kahit tinotopak ang signal ng TV sa cellphone ko kung saan ako nanonood ng Kalyeserye, I could still feel that magical feeling between Maine and Alden. Thank goodness, the most awaited time had finally arrived for both of them. Tama nga si Alden, ang tagal ding naghintay ng lahat for this grand and special day. And truthfully, it was worth the wait. Isa ito sa mga perfect example ng katagang iyon. Because the moment it all happened, the moment it all unfolded in front of us who waited, the feeling it all gave to us was overwhelming. Napaiyak pa nga tayo, `di ba? Oo, aaminin ko. Isa ako sa mga umiyak dahil sa tuwa at overwhelming na saya. Siguro, mas mararamdaman ko pa iyon nang husto kung kasama ako sa mga nanood sa Philippine Arena. But ever since talaga, Team Bahay na ako sa kahit na anong major events na nangyari. Bukod sa takot akong mag-travel nang mag-isa paalis ng Baguio, wala rin akong pambili ng ticket. So I settled in watching the events dito sa bahay.

STORY IDEAS FOR “HERE’S MY HEART” SETS OF ROMANCE SERIES

Right now, kahit hindi naman dapat, I’m planning to add another batch of guys for this series. Actually, I’m thinking of another boy group. Hehe! Pumasok na nga sa isip ko ang 2PM, FT Island, TVXQ, JYJ, SS501 at SHINee, eh. As much as possible, hindi mag-e-exceed sa 10 ang members nila. Ewan ko lang kung bakit pero naisip ko ring isama ang One Direction (although I’m not a fan of them). Hehe! What the heck lang? Dinadagdagan ko na naman ang pahirap sa buhay ko as writer. Ang dami pa kayang naka-line up. But since makulit ako at ang utak ko, sige lang. Mabuti na ‘yong may nakaplano ako kaysa naman wala.

Heto na ang final list ng mga ipi-feature kong boy group sa bawat batch. At may nadagdag pang dalawang batch. Hay, kinakarir ko na lang talaga. Haha!

Here’s My Heart: In Search For Love — This is the title for the first batch and it consists of the members of 2AM, containing four stories. So far, this is the only batch that has four stories.

Here’s My Heart: Finding Destiny — For Batch 2, featuring the members of SHINee (as @LittleRedYasha requested), and this batch contains five stories.

Here’s My Heart: Heavenly Days — Batch 3 will feature the 6 members of 2PM, making six stories. This is the only batch that has this number of stories.

Here’s My Heart: Countdown To Love — For the fourth batch which will consists of five stories featuring the members of SS501.

Here’s My Heart: Night Of Romance — The fifth batch will tell five stories featuring the members of TVXQ and JYJ combined.

Here’s My Heart: Till Beyond Eternity — This will be the sixth and final batch of the set of series and will feature FT Island’s members, telling five stories.

Saturday Night Thoughts # 2

It’s night time. I’m here on my bed, listening over and over to my favorite Japanese songs. What’s worst? My head hurts—a lot. Actually, my head hurts since this morning. I don’t know if it was the effect of waking up way early or something else. One thing I know, one reason is because of thinking too much.

I do that all the time, no doubt about that. When you had so many dreams and ideas you wanted to implement, I’m sure you can relate. Or maybe I’m just assuming you could. Well, people don’t only think of dreams, of fantasies, or desires alone. Most of us, and that includes me, also thinks of frustrations, problems, of pains that come. For me, I can say I’m overthinking a lot of things. Watching AlDub or KalyeSerye isn’t enough to dissipate it, unfortunately.

A Letter To: The One Who Broke My Heart

I should’ve written this letter a long time ago and gave it to you. But I should’ve done before, when I was still a naive high school girl. I’ve graduated from college for more than a year now. But somehow, what you did to break my heart back then was still here in my heart. Yes, it subsided somehow as time passed. And yet the pain you’ve inflicted in my heart was enough for me to realize over time that I’ve become afraid to love, to entrust my heart to someone after that. It’s quite frustrating, to be honest. But I don’t know if I’d be able to find a way to get rid of this feeling.

It’s been so long since it happened and I’m well aware of that. But you know one thing? My mom was right. It’s easy for me to forgive someone. Then again, I’m a person who’s having a hard time forgetting. Especially about things like people who broke my heart. Of course, you didn’t know that. I see you before as a cruel—or maybe just cold-hearted—person who tore that piece of paper in which I poured my thoughts about how I feel about you. I thought at the time that it was okay for me to do such a thing. That I should be the one to make the first move.

Book Comment: "Para Sa Hopeless Romantic" by Marcelo Santos III

This is actually the first book from Lifebooks na binili ko. I was still in 3rd year college (2nd semester to be exact) nang bilhin ko ang librong ito. If I remember, kasagsagan pa yata iyon ng kasikatan ng “Diary Ng Panget” kasi bagong labas lang. Hindi ko na nga lang maalala kung ano ba dapat ang librong bibilhin ko instead of PSHR.

Anyway, I doubt if I’ll be able to remember it.

Balik tayo sa issue.

Book Comment: "Fangirl Meets Superman" by Aivan Reigh Vivero

First and foremost, sabihin na natin na marami akong gustong ipagpasalamat sa librong ito. It may not be the first book from Lifebooks that I read (‘Para Sa Hopeless Romantic’ has that title, though). But this is the book that made me realize kung gaano talaga ako ka-outdated sa mundo ng internetlandia (or at least isa ito sa mga terms na nakita ko sa libro). Kung hindi dahil sa book na ito, hindi ko pa malalaman na nag-e-exist pala ang isang Kimpoy Feliciano. Hehe! Noon ko rin lang nalaman na may Tumblr palang nag-e-exist sa internet.

Hay… Ako na ang ignorante’t outdated. Anyway, inaamin ko naman iyon at ganoon pa rin naman ako hanggang ngayon. Kaya huwag magtaka kung bakit minsan ay para akong nao-OP sa mga latest na usapan ng mga nilalang ngayon. But anyway, it’s not I could easily change that.

Back to the topic na nga lang.

Book Comment: "My Kuya's Assistant" by Sharmyn Bacayo

I don’t know if I should call this a review dahil sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung paano gumawa ng matinong book review. Or maybe nakalimutan ko lang. kaya ang itatawag ko na lang dito, mahaba-habang comment. Hehe! Honestly, I don’t know how to make a book review. Hindi ko na rin napanindigan ang minsang sinabi ko na magko-comment ako per chapter (parang Wattpad lang). Kaya ganito na lang.

Saturday Night Thoughts # 1

Oo na. Hindi Sunday, kundi Saturday. Wala lang, feel ko lang naman. Gumagana na naman ang utak ko sa pag-iisip ng kung anu-ano. And since I couldn’t  push through (at least not yet) with the video journal thingy I’m planning, I think it’s better for me to write it for now. And it’s for the best if I do it at night since my mind fuctions better during night time. Hindi nga lang ako `yong tipo ng tao na nagpupuyat. Hindi kaya ng brain ko. Ang bilis mapagod.

Wait… Isip ko ba o katawan ko ang may problema? Ah, ewan! Saka ko na pagdedebatehan ang tungkol doon. Basta ang alam ko, parang nawawalan ako ng ganang gawin ang mga bagay na dapat ay priority ko. Tinatamad na nga ba talaga ako? nawawalan ako ng drive na i-focus ang sarili ko sa mga dapat kong gawin, eh. Naturingan pa akong panganay niyan, ah. I should be the one doing the word and not my younger sister. But no! I’m the one who couldn’t find myself doing any work at all. Wala akong ibang gustong gawin kundi ang magsulat. Mabuti sana kung puwede kong gawing full time ang pagsusulat, eh. But even when I’m doing the one thing I loved to do, it seems like I’m losing the initiative.

It’s downright frustrating, to be honest.

Idagdag pa na, heto, pinapaalis na kami dito sa nirerentahan naming bahay dahil laging delayed ang bayad. I’m not sure who to blame. Or I should include myself to the list of people to blame for that. But I don’t want to do that. As much as possible, I’m trying not to. I’ve been thinking of too much negativity lately and I don’t want that to influence my trail of thoughts right now.

I guess I’ll try my best in the next coming days. Whatever happens, I’ll be positive… hopefully…

What's Happening To Me Now...

Honestly… I have no idea. I can’t say it all came so fast. It didn’t even come slow in a way that you’d actually anticipate its coming. I don’t know how it all came. One thing I know… it’s frustrating. It’s irritating, but not close to infuriating.

English ang entrada, ha? Sorry po. Pilit ko na lang munang pinapagana nang maayos ang utak ko bago ako masiraan ng bait. Hopefully naman, huwag muna. Marami pa po akong gustong gawin bago ako mabaliw nang tuluyan.

Just hold on. I’ll get through this. It’s what I want to say to myself—all the time. Kahit mahirap, kailangan kong gawin. Anyway, I can feel as if my mind is still in the zone. And what I mean by ‘the zone’, it’s still stuck in its own little world. Like, seriously speaking. I can’t even find a way to get out of it—especially now.

I’ve been doing a lot of daydreams lately. Of what I really want to do in my life. Of a lot of “what if’s”. But even with that, my daydreams seems to unable to jive with REALITY. It’s getting hard. Especially with what’s happening in my family now. Troubles and challenges brew around the corner. I’m having  a hard time thinking on how to actually escape it. Yes, escape—instead of dealing with it. I don’t really know how to deal with problems these past years. Or at least that’s what I’ve noticed.

For now, I don’t want to think of negativities, of troubles, of bad vibes. There’s still good news. There’s still good vibes. I just had to let them in so I can feel it, at the very least.

Okay, since I mentioned about me daydreaming (which happens for at least… half of the day? Haha!), I’ve been thinking of actually recording a video—of myself talking about… something? Hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang gagawin ko kapag naisipan ko nga talagang gumawa ng video. Ewan ko ba. Ang hirap na hanggang sa isip mo lang nagagawa `yong mga bagay na gustung-gusto mong gawin. Recording a video of myself? I think it’s a part of me that once wished to be an actress. Like what I said before in my post about my thoughts right after my birthday, being a singer and an actress was a childhood dream of mine. But having that dream fulfilled at my age now? I can’t tell. But if I don’t do something—even just a small step, I guess it won’t happen at all.

In connection to this thinking about recording a video of myself, I’ve had plans about it. I call most of the collective segments I’ve been thinking of posting as “About” segment. Topics that I’m thinking of discussing with this segment are:

• That Song – This is actually a subsegment that discusses my favorite songs on my playlist. And maybe I could talk about other songs that comes in my mind. At siguro, baka maisipan ko ring kumanta. Sana lang, hindi umulan kapag ginawa ko iyon.
• That Show’s Episode – Now this subsegment will talk about some of the shows/series I’ve watched (TV shows, drama, and web series). Though, I’ll only talk about just a few of it since I don’t usually watch TV shows lately for various reasons. Kaya kadalasan, sa internet na lang ako nanonood.
• AlDub/KalyeSerye – Of course, the most popular love team today. Puwede ba namang mawala ito sa mga subsegment na gusto kong i-discuss? As for this subsegment, I think I would be discussing more about my thoughts on certain episodes. So don’t be surprised if I decided to post some reaction videos. And then there are videos about the characters and my thoughts about them.
• My Writings – Since it’s been a long time dream for me to be a writer (whether published or not), I also like to share my insights about the stories I’ve written and currently writing. Some of the discussions will focus on the trivia of the stories—on how it was created and various inspirations for me to write those stories. Marami-rami rin iyon. As in!
• What I’m Thinking – In this sub-segment, I’ll be talking about… my thoughts. It’s like a video blog/video journal. Puwede ko rin itong i-consider na open video letter dahil na rin sa subjects na posible kong sabihin dito. Some of the topics here are Dear Future Husband, Dear Future Boyfriend, For That Someone, at may iba pa. Kung anu-ano ang mga iyan, saka ko na lang po sasabihin. Okay?

Another of my daydreaming would be me as an accomplished writer. Romance writer, to be exact. Well, this is a long time dream that I’ve trying my best to fulfill one step at a time. For about 6 (or 7) years, I’ve tried passing manuscripts after manuscripts to various publishing companies. But each time, I got an R (returned/rejected). Of course, depressing sa akin iyon, `no? Dumating din ako sa point na feeling ko, hindi talaga ito para sa akin. Na hindi ito ang calling ko. But my mind (and my hand since it’s the one doing the writing) didn’t let me stop. And so I wrote… and I wrote… and I continue writing. And now, even though it’s slow, it’s coming one by one. I’m happy, of course! Sobrang happy. Pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung bakit parang poke-faced pa rin ako sa lahat ng ito. Hahahaha!

Okay…

I guess a lot has been happening—at least in my mind. It’s better that I let those thoughts concealed in my mind for now. As for that video recording thing, kailangan ko na talagang magawa ito. If I really want to break out from my comfort zone and stop my insecurities (I don’t know if it will help, though), I can do this.

I’ll be able to.

Because I want to.

#ALDUBMostAwaitedDate: AlDub’s First Date (Thoughts On AlDub/Kalyeserye Episode 57)

Ano ba `yan? Parang isa na naman ako sa mga tiyak na hindi makaka-move on  sa recent episode ng KalyeSerye, ah. Paano ba naman kasi? First date ng AlDub iyon, eh. At gaya nga ng nakasaad sa HT (hashtag) for the day (#ALDUBMostAwaitedDate), it was indeed a most awaited moment. At panigurado, record-breaking na naman ito sa Twitter. Natatawa nga ako sa mgapost na nakikita ko tungkol sa pagrereklamo raw ni Blue Bird. Wala yatang araw na hindi napapahinga iyon dahil beast mode every day ang AlDub Nation.

Well, in my opinion, hindi lang ang AlDub fans ang beast mode. Pati na rin ang mga bashers at haters ng AlDub. But then, it’s better to just let them be. Gaya nga ng sabi ni Lola Nidora, ipagdasal na lang sila dahil sarili lang nila ang sinisira nila. Mabuti na lang pala at magaling ako sa dedmahan. Haha! One thing I know, I’m glad that KalyeSerye exists right now. Lalo na talaga ngayong parang nawawalan na ng silbi ang lahat ng parangal ng mga nakatatanda dahil sa tingin ng lahat (ng mga kabataan) ay alam na nila ang lahat. It shouldn’t be that way. It should never be that way. The elders are those who have made experiences their greatest teachers, that’s why they’ve survived this long in order to convey the message of those “teachers” to the current and next generation.

I’m glad Alden and Maine was given a chance to see each other again in this episode. At talagang nakapag-usap pa sila, ah. Ano kaya `yong mga pinag-usapan nila kahit sandali lang iyon? Na-curious tuloy ako. Mukhang abangers na naman ako sa laglagan wars nina Alden at Sam sa Monday, ah. Nai-imagine ko na kung paano kokornerin ni Sam si Alden ng mga tanong niya. Haha!

Honestly, ang akala ko noong una, quick change pa more ang gagawin ni Wally nang hindi siya sumama kina Paolo at Jose sa Sugod Bahay. I’m glad that wasn’t the case. Pero as usual, may gimik pa rin si Lola Nidora para kina Alden at Maine. Pahirapan lang talaga ang peg para lang marating ang dating place. Oh, well. Matching games pa more ang naganap and each matching answers equals one step towards the goal—which is the dating place and the moment everyone was waiting for. Nagawa naman nilang masagot na magkapareho ang mga tanong. Hanep din ang mga choices na ibinibigay ng tatlong lola. `Kakaloka! Nagawa nilang magkaroon ng pitong matching answers, gaya ng requirement ni Lola Nidora sa dalawang iyon. At napansin ko na kahit sasandali lang ang date nila, I can tell that it was worth it. Panira lang naman ng moment `yong alarm clock, eh. Ang ganda na ng moment, eh. kahit guwardiyado. `Yan tuloy, napaalis kaagad si Maine. Nang-iwan ng date para kay Lola. Nalungkot lang at nanghinayang talaga si Alden. But a child’s responsibility to her guardian stood above all else at iyon ang priority niya kahit obvious naman na hindi pa niya gustong umalis sa date nila ni Alden.

And then ano `yong narinig namin at the end of the episode na tinapakan `yong preno ng kotse at parang may bumangga pa yata sa kotse? Bakit sa tuwing end of the episode sa Sabado, may iniiwang matinding cliffhanger? As in! But then, it only proves na worth abangan ang susunod na episode ng KalyeSerye sa Lunes.

I’ll definitely wait for it!

This Is Seriously Not Helping Me...

I’ve been planning a lot of things lately. I don’t know why but I always end up planning something na hindi ko naman alam kung magagawa ko kaagad. O kung magagawa ko nga talaga. It’s getting me all frustrated and confused. Forget about all my writing plans for now. Matagal na ang mga iyon. But I don’t have any urges of surrendering them or giving it all up. Ganyan ko lang naman kamahal ang pagsusulat. I know it’s my calling. For a long time, I know it’s like that. But I can’t rely solely on my calling.

Just like what I keep on saying, I’m still lacking the initiative. Fear always gets the best of me, now consuming me slowly. And that seriously sucks. I couldn’t even move out and do something. Aba’y hindi na ako magugulat kung isang araw na maging ermitanyo na ako sa sarili kong pamamahay, ah. Hindi imposible iyon.

But until I find a way to get out of my barrier, I guess all I can do is to sigh–heavily done, if I say so myself.

*And I just did it again…*

Top 10 Writing Habits

Originally posted in my FB account last October 22, 2014

Just like the first list na inilagay ko rito, wala ring nag-tag sa akin. Seriously, feel ko lang itong i-post dito.

Matagal ko nang habits ang mga ito simula pa lang nang mag-umpisa akong magsulat. Kahit tula pa lang ang sinusulat ko, mostly sa mga ito ay ginagawa ko na. Recently lang naman may nadagdag, eh.

1 – Matagal akong magsulat, to be honest. Sa tuwing nagsusulat ako ng manuscript na gusto kong ipasa sa publishing house, iaabot pa ako ng humigit-kumulang isang buwan bago ko matapos iyon.

2 – Sa kuwarto ako nagsusulat, doon sa kama. At dapat nakasandal pa sa pader ang likod ko o di kaya ay sa headboard, although wala namang headboard ang hinihigaan ko. Hehe!

3 – I always start writing teasers pagkatapos kong maisip ang title na gusto ko para sa certain plot na naglalaro sa utak ko. Doon ko kasi nabi-visualize ang mga scenes at events, eh.

4 – I write on paper first before encoding them. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganoon. Feeling ko, hindi ako kuntento kapag diretso kong ita-type kaagad ang mga scenes na nasa isip ko. Kahit pagkahaba-haba pa ng chapters, okay lang basta sa papel ko maisulat.

5 – Laging may theme song ang mga pinagsususulat kong kuwento. Hindi puwedeng walang music at hindi ako makakapag-concentrate nang maayos sa sinusulat ko.

6 – Tuwing gabi lang talaga ako nakakapagsulat nang tuloy-tuloy. Mga two to three hours lang siguro. Walang labis, walang kulang. Pero gustuhin ko mang magpuyat para sa sinusulat ko, hindi puwede kasi kailangan ko pang magising ng maaga. Duty calls.

7 – I had the habit of looking at the sky kapag hindi ko na maisip ang susunod na scene na isusulat ko. Kahit ano pa’ng itsura ng sky on that certain day, okay lang. Basta matitigan ko lang iyon. After doing that for a few moments, okay na ulit.

8 – May ugali akong naivo-voice out ko nang medyo mahina lang naman ang mga dialogues ng characters ko, lalo na ang sa heroine ng kuwentong sinusulat ko. Mas malala naman kapag may eksena na mag-aasaran o di kaya ay mag-aaway ang dalawang bida. Para nga akong tangang kinakausap ko ang sarili ko. Doon ko lang siguro nararamdaman at naipapaliwanag nang husto ang mga words na kailangan ko para ma-describe ko ang emotions at actions ng mga bida sa kuwento.

9 – Once in a while lang ako mangailangan ng visual peg sa mga characters ko. Pero kapag talagang kailangan ko, saka lang ako maghahanap. Madalas kong gamiting visual pegs ay Asian artists, particularly Japanese, Taiwanese, and Chinese ones.

10 – Hindi na yata effective ang kape sa akin kahit magkape ako sa gabi. Ang pampagising ko na lang, chocolate or anything sweet. But preferably talaga, chocolate. Especially Cloud 9 o ‘di kaya ay Choco Mucho. Choco addict lang. Hehe!

5 Facts About My Crush

Originally posted in my FB account last November 1, 2014

As tagged by Booklatpahina WP, Mini Apricsite WP and Princessindistress WP

1. Hindi ko pa rin siya makalimutan hanggang ngayon kahit mag-e-8 years na kaming hindi nagkikita.
2. Crush ko pa rin siya hanggang ngayon kahit may girlfriend na ang bugok at tiyak na hindi na ako maalala. Haha!
3. Siya ang inspirasyon ko sa pagsulat ng kuwentong “I’ll Hold On To You”
4. Mahilig siyang mang-asar sa akin. Hanggang ngayon, kapag naaalala ko pa rin ang pang-asar niya sa akin, nabubuwisit ako. Pero napapangiti pa rin naman ako n’on kahit papaano.
5. Dahil sa kanya, naging favorite ko ang kantang Because of You ni Keith Martin. Hindi ko nga lang mapigilang mag-imagine noon na para sa akin ang kantang iyon. Haha! Naging ilusyunada pa ako ngayon.

"The Slambook Questions" Tagged To Me

Originally posted in my FB account last August 27, 2015.

As tagged by Yasha Red Weasley

Name: Florence Joyce
Nickname: Joyce (sa mga kakilala ko), Pollen, Flor
Birthday: August 30
Age: 23
Year sign: Goat/Sheep
Zodiac sign: Virgo
Books: The 39 Clues Series, The Kane Chronicles Trilogy, Nancy Drew Mystery Files
Local author: Martha Cecilia, Sonia Francesca, Sofia, Arielle, Rose Tan, Heart Yngrid, Maricar Dizon, Camilla, Laurice Del Rio
International author: Nicholas Sparks, Rick Riordan
Movies: So Close, Up, Roger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1997), Ella Enchanted, Princess Diaries, Popstar, Kimi ni Todoke Live Action, I Give My First Love To You, Innocent Snow, The Twin Effect
Singer/Band: Westlife, BSB, A1, NSync, Jason Chen, Taylor Swift, M2M, Brian McKnight, Joe, Side A, Freestyle, Six Part Invention, Gary Valenciano, Martin Nievera, Sarah Geronimo, Christian Bautista, Jose Mari Chan
Music: Classic, Ballads, RNB
Food: Pansit bihon, spaghetti, carbonara, fried chicken, chicken macaroni
Drinks: Coffee, milo
Color: any shades of blue
Number: 12
Motto: A dream isn’t something that you just make come true. After all, a dream is about who you want to become. So you should work hard on your own merits.
First crush: Joshua Posadas (Grade 5 crush)
What is love? Something you don’t have to rush in order to have (ano raw?)
First love: Allen Anthony Cueto (2nd year high school)
Do you believe in destiny? Almost all the time.
Happiest moment: Nang magkaroon ako ng approved manuscript for the first time (October 22, 2014)
Most stupid ever thing done: Slacking off during my high school days. Nagloko ako sa pag-aaral ko when I was in first year.
Wildest imagination: Maging part ng Philippine entertainment industry. At magkaroon ng love story sa totoong buhay na nakakakilig katulad ng kina Alden at Yaya Dub (Maine). Wild talaga at alam kong malabong mangyari.
Dedication: High school pa ako nang huling beses akong mag-fill up ng slambook na ganito. Nakaka-miss din pala. Although hindi pa naman ako part ng PHR writers (hopefully mangyari pa rin kahit parang matatagalan pa bago mangyari), thank you pa rin sa nag-tag sa akin. Well, iisa lang naman ang nag-tag sa akin nito. Hehe!

‪#‎PHRinthenow‬
‪#‎TheSlambookSeries‬

(Suportahan Po Natin)
‪#‎HeidiStarr‬
‪#‎LadyJ‬
‪#‎FionaQueen‬

A Birthday Girl's Thoughts

NOTE: This was supposed to be posted last August 30, but I’ve only typed it just yesterday. Sorry for that. Isinulat ko kasi ito sa papel muna bago ko in-encode. Seriously, even in writing down my thoughts, nakukuha ko pa rin ang habit ko na sa papel muna isusulat lahat bago i-type.

It’s August 30, 2015.

Time surely flies so fast. Ang dami ko nang hindi namamalayan sa paglipas ng panahon. That means may mahigit dalawang taon na rin pala akong graduate. But honestly speaking, I still feel that I haven’t achieved anything aside from that. Nairaos ko ang pag-aaral ko kahit na hindi talaga iyon ang kursong gusto kong kunin.

Pero hanggang doon na lang iyon. Disappointing, I know. Nagkatrabaho nga ako, pero hindi rin ako nagtagal sa dalawang trabahong iyon. Ewan ko ba. Siguro nga, tama `yong sinabi sa akin ng huling boss ko. Wala akong initiative. I guess I’ve stayed too much and too long in my comfort zone. Hindi ko naman masasabing pampered kid ako. O siguro hindi ko pa nagagawang sirain ang barrier na nakapalibot sa akin hanggang ngayon. Maybe that’s one reason why I still can’t find myself dealing with the real world seriously. Lagi yata akong lutang kaya ganoon ang kinalalabasan.

Kahit siguro ganoon, isang bagay lang ang sigurado ko. Now that I’ve turned 24 today, sigurado ako sa isa sa mga pangarap ko. And it still has something to do with writing. Have my stories published, and possibly have a chance to study scriptwriting if given a chance. Oo na, medyo may kataasan pa yata ang pangangarap ko roon sa huling sinulat ko. But recently, I’ve been daydreaming of working in a television and film industry as a screenwriter. Ewan ko ba. Ayaw akong tantanan ng daydream na iyon. Besides, gusto ko ring maging isang published writer, be it in a romance novel writing or whatever genre I could possibly think of writing about. Right now, fantasy-adventure and action-adventure ang sinusubukan ko.

Malaking bahagi ng pangarap ko, may kinalaman sa pagsusulat. But until now, hindi ko pa rin nagagawang patunayan ang sarili ko. Yes, nagkaroon na ako ng dalawang approved manuscripts na hindi ko pa rin alam hanggang ngayon kung kailan ire-release. Sa magkaibang publishing companies nga lang. The first one was in Bookware Publishing and the other was inPSICOM(sa Kilig Republic category). But after that, hindi ko pa nagagawang dagdagan iyon. Though I’m still doing my best even if it really felt as if it wasn’t enough. Ang hirap. Nakaka-frustrate, to be honest. Pero kahit ganoon, ayokong panghinaan ng loob. Initiative, matinding effort at determination lang talaga ang dapat kong pairalin.

And as I write this, bigla ko pa lang na-realized na hindi pa pala ako formally nagpapakilala in any of the blogging sites I created. Masyado ko yatang itinago ang sarili ko sa madla. Kunsabagay, Team Bahay naman talaga ako. Hindi ako mahilig lumabas sa kung saan-saan. Noong nag-aaral pa ako, bahay-school at school-bahay lang ang routine ko. Noong nagtatrabaho naman, bahay-trabaho at trabaho-bahay naman ang naging routine ko. Ang boring, `no? Sa social networking sites naman na meron ako (which is Facebook at Twitter), napakatahimik ko, just as how I really am in real life. May times pa nga na napagkakamalan akong mataray, pero hindi naman. Of course, it still depends on the manner of approaching me.

With that, let’s get on with it. Hehe!

My full name (in real life `yan, ha?) is Florence Joyce Aragones Dongael. Born August 30, 1991 at panganay sa apat na magkakapatid na puro babae. Yes, I don’t have a brother. Well, I would have but then, nakunan naman ng dalawang beses ang Mama ko and we were expecting at the time na baby brother namin iyon. Born and raised in Baguio City, the Summer Capital of the Philippines. Pero ako naman ang naturingang taga-Baguio na hindi pa gaanong pamilyar sa mga lugar dito. Ang mga napuntahan ko nga lang na mga popular spots dito ay:

• PMA (Dito kami nakatira dati; baby pa nga lang ako noon)
• Botanical Garden (A few times lang; usually kapag may short movie filming kami)
• Lourdes Grotto (A few times din lang kahit sabihin pang malapit lang—as in walking distance—ito sa area kung saan kami kasalukuyang nakatira)
• Diplomat Hotel (Once lang; Signal # 3 pa pero wala namang ulan at malakas lang ang hangin; 4th year college ako noon)
• Mines View (Once lang, for real; bata pa ako noon)
• Camp John Hay (Madalang nga lang)
• Pink Sisters’ Chapel (Malapit sa 50s Diner na isa sa mga favorite na kainan namin. But I never even thought na may weird legend pala rito. Well, the legend was meant for couples, anyway. `Buti na lang pala, wala pa rin akong jowa. Haha! Walang konek.)
• Teachers’ Camp (Once lang, during Luzonwide Press Conference when I was in 2nd year college)

See what I mean? Hindi talaga ako gala, kaya ang mga lugar lang na ito ang napuntahan ko. Hindi ko pa inilagay `yong mga madalas ko talagang mapuntahan, gaya ng Baguio Cathedral,Session Road, Burnham Park, etc. Kaya may mga lugar pa rin dito sa Baguio na gusto kong puntahan. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung kailan ko mapupuntahan.

Back to the topic.

Sa isang technical school ako nag-aral at nagtapos ng college. Though that school—the Baguio College of Technology—offers ladderized program in computer, electronics, and electrical courses, I still chose to finish it up to four years. Yes, may two-year course po ang Information Technology doon. Though originally, the course I wanted to take up was Mass Communicationeither sa University of Baguio o sa University of the Cordilleras sana. Pero dahil hindi kakayanin ng budget, IT na lang ang kinuha ko. Kahit papaano, hindi ko naman pinagsisisihan iyon. I still did my best para naman hindi masayang ang lahat.

Hmm…

As for personality, masyado akong tahimik na tao. At least on first impression. Pero kapag naka-close ko na ang isang tao, naku po! Expect na ang kaingayan ko. Haha! Hindi nga lang ako kalog. Wala nga yata akong ka-humor-humor sa katawan, eh. Although kapag feel kong mang-asar at mambasag (o mamilosopo), go lang ako nang go. Madalas kong gawin iyon sa mama ko. And that identifies me as a Mama’s girl kasi close kami. Parang barkada lang kasi ang turingan namin. Pati rin ang iba ko pang mga kapatid. Sa aming lima (me, my 3 sisters, and my mother), ako lang yata ang hindi mahilig mag-selfie. Ewan ko kung bakit. It’s either I’m not camera-friendly o ayaw lang talaga ng camera sa akin. Kaya naman bihira lang akong mag-post ng mga pictures ko.

As for dreams, I have a lot of them. Nabanggit ko na `yong una na may kinalaman sa writing. I want to establish a writing career for myself. Besides that, I have this weird dream to be a singer. Pero hindi naman singer-quality ang boses ko. It was actually a childhood dream of mine. Another of my childhood dream was to be an actress. Pero dahil kulang na kulang ako sa self-confidence at tibay ng loob, wala na. And I think it’s already too late to fulfill that kahit gustuhin ko. I’m 24, remember? Kaya heto na lang ang ginagawa ko—daydreaming. But I’ll definitely push that writing career, though.

Relationship? Nah! Certified NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) po ako. Marami nga lang akong crushes, be it ordinary people or celebrity crushes. Hindi ko na nga lang babanggitin ang mga celebrity crushes. But I think I could still recall those “ordinary people” who had been my crush that are memorable to me since elementary days. Haha! `Yong iba nga lang, hindi alam ng Mama ko.

• Joel (Grade 3 classmate/crush; though hindi ko na matandaan ang last name niya)
• Froilan (Grade 4 classmate/crush; hindi ko na rin matandaan ang apelyido)
• Erland Jerique or Jerique Erland (Grade 5 classmate/crush, though I forgot the order of his given name and I also forgot his last name)
• Joshua Posadas (another Grade 5 classmate/crush at naglalaro dati ng sepak takraw sa school)
• Ivan Timothy Baluyot (Grade 6 classmate/crush; probably the cutest of all my elementary crushes at kakompetensiya ko pa sa class ranking academically; one of my inspirations noong Grade 6 ako)
• Alexander (1st year high school classmate/crush pero hindi ko na masyadong ma-recall ang mukha niya at hindi ko an rin maalala ang apelyido. Natigil kasi ako sa pag-aaral mid-October dahil nagloko lang naman ako during that time)
• Van Oliver Dicang (1st year high school classmate/crush. He’s my crush during my second time in 1st year high school. Active sa student council at one of the classroom officers. But one thing that everyone doesn’t know, he was the first and last na binigyan ko ng love/confession letter and outrightly rejected me by tearing the letter to pieces. After that, I got scared of doing the same thing again.)
• Allen Anthony Cueto (2nd year high school classmate/crush and perhaps the cutes of all my crushes in elementary and high school days combined. In fact, naging ka-close ko pa nga ang kumag na `to, eh. Though until now, I’m still debating with myself kung ano ba talaga ang naramdaman ko para sa lalaking `to, if it was just a puppy love, plain crush, or close to something deeper. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin alam.)
• Jayson Ayan (First 3rd year high school classmate/crush. Bakit first 3rdyear? I stopped mid-October—again. But health reasons naman ang ginamit kong grounds kung bakit ako natigil ulit sa pag-aaral. Siguro sa sobrang pressure at stress—and slight case of bullying na hindi kinaya ng isip ko. Naging close naman kami ng lalaking ito pero sandali lang.)
• Gerald Opigal (Second 3rd year high school classmate/crush. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko naging ka-close ang lalaking ito, ever)
• Suren Quitor (4th year high school classmate/crush. Pero sandali ko lang naging crush ang lalaking ito. I think it was during the time na nagpi-filming kami ng group namin para sa movie project namin sa MAPEH)

As for college crushes, wala na. Dedma na ako sa paligid ko during my college days. Haha! Kaya huwag nang magtaka sa pagiging NBSB ko. Isa pa, masyadong focused sa pag-aaral ang utak ko. And I guess wala talagang magkamali. I mean, duh! Who would actually decide to approach and befriend a Plain Jane like me? Yes, ganyan po talaga ang overall description ko sa sarili ko. In fact, sa hindi ko masyadong pag-aayos sa sarili ko dahil hindi naman ako ganoon ka-conscious sa itsura ko, napagkakamalan pa rin akong high schooler hanggang ngayon. `Kainis lang.

Kahit na medyo may pagka-boring ang tinutungo ng buhay ko, okay lang sa akin. Kahit na NBSB, walang problema sa akin. I’m not rushing, anyway kahit na umabot na ako sa ganitong edad na wala pa ring boyfriend. Iyon ay kahit gusto na akong ibugaw ng Mama ko’t mga kapatid ko. Natatakot yatang maging old maid ako kahit nasa lahi talaga ng mga Aragones (side ng Mama ko) ang pagkakaroon ng mga old maid. But still, hindi naman ako natatakot. I don’t know why, pero ganoon ang pakiramdam ko, eh. Confident much? Hindi naman siguro. Although I have this weird deadline to myself na sana, before I turned 28, magkaroon na ako ng asawa. Haha! So that means, may four years pa ako para maghanap ng prospect husband. What the heck? Bakit ang ikli?

Seriously speaking, this birthday girl’s thoughts suddenly turned into a birthday girl’s introduction of herself to the world. Haha! `Ayan tuloy, napahaba pa ang entry ko. Usually, kapag entry about personal thoughts, hindi naman kahabaan ang sinusulat ko. but then I guess I made an exception today since it’s my birthday.

And so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, Florence Joyce!

Patience in Waiting for “Tamang Panahon” (Thoughts On AlDub/Kalyeserye Episode 39)

As I sit here writing this, hindi ko mapigilang matawa. This has something to do with KalyeSerye’s episode 39 last Saturday kung saan ipinagawa na rin ni Lola Nidora ang second challenge niya kay Alden. Hindi na ako nagulat na beast mode na naman ang AlDub fans dahil sa official hashtag for that day (#ALDUBMaiDenHeaven) and of course, the episode itself. I agree with Sir Joey de Leon’s tweet that this is one of AlDub’s best hashtags. Sino ba naman ang hindi kikiligin at mai-in love sa HT na `to, eh ginamit lang naman nila ang dalawang official fandom name ng love team na ito sa iisang HT lang, `no? Kung wala lang akong kaagaw sa computer at internet, baka nakisali na ako sa twitter party na `to last Saturday. Hahaha!

But the real issue here in my post comes from an FB status and a few comments na nabasa ko sa FB newsfeed ko. May isang post kasi akong nabasa na na-hopia na naman sila dahil hindi pa rin nagkikita sina Alden at Yaya Dub (Maine) last Saturday. Hindi na raw niya nagugustuhang pinaghihintay na naman daw siya sa wala at nagsasawa na raw siya na pare-pareho na lang ang kantang ginagamit at pinapatugtog sa serye. Idinagdag pa niya na wala rin daw sense na ipakita pa ng KalyeSerye ang mga parangal ni Lola Nidora tungkol sa challenges and responsibilities of love whatsoever na `yan dahil itinuro na raw sa kanya iyon ng mga magulang niya.

And then I thought, may punto nga naman siya. But the real question here is, kung talagang itinuro iyon ng mga magulang natin, are they even implementing it in real life situations? Sa nakikita ko kasi ngayon, lahat na lang ng bagay, minamadali. I’ve been in situations before na gusto ko, madalian ang lahat. Hindi kinakaya ng patience ko ang maghintay ng matagal. But even before KalyeSerye was born, may mga bagay pa rin akong matiyagang ipinaghihintay. If you’re an aspiring writer (for one), alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin na puwedeng application ng patience in waiting.

As for me, nakaka-relate ako sa mga parangal ni Lola Nidora. In fact, medyo istrikto at sabihin na nating makaluma (pero sobra naman) ang Papa ko. Ang Mama ko naman, ibina-balance ang sarili sa makaluma at makabago. One strict rule na sinabi nila sa aming magkakapatid (na puro babae), kapag may gustong manligaw sa amin, sa bahay umakyat ng ligaw. Hindi sa kalye. That way, magagawa nilang kilatisin ang taong iyon kung totoo bang seryoso siya o baka naman nagbibiro lang at feel lang makipaglaro. Isa pang lesson ni Lola na talagang nakaka-relate ako, ang pagmamadali sa pag-ibig. I think that’s one reason kung bakit NBSB pa rin ako ngayon. May mga crushes ako before, pero hanggang doon na lang iyon.

Anyway, as for my personal opinion with regards to the August 29 episode of KalyeSerye, alam ko na talagang hindi pa rin magkikita sina Alden at Yaya Dub (Maine) on that day. Naramdaman ko na when I watched August 27’s KalyeSerye episode na 6th weeksary naman ng AlDub. Reading between the lines sa mga sinabi ni Lola Nidora kay Alden with regards to the rules na kailangan niyang gawin tungkol sa additional pasalubong galing Bicol na laing at pinangat, it’s already understood na dadalhin ni Alden iyon kay Lola personally. But it doesn’t actually imply na kasama ni Lola si Yaya Dub sa meet-up na iyon nina Lola at Alden. Of course, there is that expectation na posible talagang magkita ang dalawa dahil nga dapat (and usually) magkasama ang mag-amo at all times, lalo na sa labas. But a lot of things can happen, can be planned and can be decided sa mga sinabi ni Lola. The three split screen alone already gave answer as well na walang pang pagkikitang magaganap kina Alden at Maine.

Ewan ko ba sa mga tao ngayon. Talamak na ang pagiging impatient. Madali na ring magsawa. Seriously speaking, ang KalyeSerye na `to ang susubok sa patience ng isang tao (especially sa mga AlDub fans and viewers) sa paghihintay sa tinatawag nilang “tamang panahon”. Oo, hindi talaga maiwasang ma-hopia kasi nga excited. Gustong lubus-lubusin ang kilig. Kung sa real life nga, may nagde-date na mga couples na umaabot pa ng ilang taon bago mag-settle down kung talagang alam na nilang ready na sila for that, sa love story pa kaya ng AlDub sa KalyeSerye?

Kumbaga, pakaisipin na lang natin na ganito rin ang set-up ng AlDub. Let’s make them a couple already. Kunwari lang, ha? For example lang naman. Every day or every episode, disregarding the interconnected events and just focus on the kilig moments, i-equate natin iyon sa months. Masyado kasing matagal `pag years, eh. Hehe! `Yong palitan nila ng flowers and messages (including songs by dubsmashing), i-consider natin iyon na mga dates nila at moments nila together as a couple. Then si Lola and the other characters to appear in the series, siya ang representation ng trials at turn of events na pagdadaanan ng AlDub in each month. Maraming puwedeng mangyari sa paglipas ng mga buwan, kagaya rin ng twists na inilalagay ng mga writers sa kuwento ng AlDub tuwing tanghali kapag segment na ng Juan For All, All For Juan. Hindi natin alam kung ano ang mga iyon, kagaya ng mga hosts ng EB na hindi alam at hindi nila inaalam ahead of time kung ano ang posibleng mangyari sa magkasintahan (or should I say nagliligawan?) at sa episode din mismo.

Ganoon din tayo. Hindi natin alam kung ano ang puwedeng mangyari. We might have a guess as to what could possibly happen, pero hindi nangangahulugan iyon na ganoon nga ang mangyayari. Sa dinami-rami ng mga possible twists sa buhay natin, we could never really guess the future events. And here comes `yong sinabi nila at pinakaaabangan nating “tamang panahon”. Ito kumbaga `yong moment of truth ng magkasintahan na nalagpasan ang pagsubok as time passed by. Ito na `yong moment of settling down sa mga couples na nag-date ng ilang taon bago maisipang mag-settle down.

That’s it.

Although to be honest, hindi ako sure kung nagkaroon ba ng sense ang pinagsususulat ko rito. Opinion ko lang naman ito, so far. Darating din ang tamang panahon na pinakahihintay natin. Sabi nga sa isang article sa Abante, pinapalipas lang muna nila ang ghost month (which happens to be my birth month, `kainis lang). Mahirap nang malasin, `no? After that, madla na ang magde-decide kung mananatili pa rin ba silang fan ng AlDub kapag nagkita na sila. Sa ngayon, mukhang nakikita ko nang may agad na mawawala sa fanclub basing it from their “hopia” and “nagsasawa” comments.

Basta ako, maghihintay lang ako. Nakapaghintay nga ako ng 6 months sa paghihintay sa feedback ng isang manuscript ko, eh. Sa pagkikita pa kaya ng AlDub? Haha!

Getting Over... (Yeah, right!)

Okay. I know, mukhang walang patutunguhang matino ‘tong post na `to. Pero since kailangan kong maglabas ng inis at sama ng loob (na thankfully ay hindi naman naipon sa dibdib), I guess I have to do this now. Wala rin namang matinong progress ang sinusulat ko, so ito na lang muna ang pagkakaabalahan ko.

Alam ko, marami sa atin ang na-disappoint sa mga pangyayari sa KalyeSerye ng Eat Bulaga kahapon (8-12-15). Isa rin naman ako sa mga iyon, eh. I even remembered na kinabahan talaga ako nang husto para sa magiging performance ni Miss Maine Mendoza sa studio para sa Bulagaan Pa More. Pero mas kinabahan talaga ako at isa sa mga libo-libong nag-anticipate ng pagkikita na dapat ng AlDub. But then, naisip ko rin na kapag nagkita nga sila kahapon, ano na ang kasunod? Parang agad na mawawala `yong natural na kilig na nabuo dahil sa tambalan nila.

Iniisip ko rin `yong hirap ng mga writer na nag-conceptualize ng Cinderella story peg para sa performance ni Yaya Dub. In fairness, ang ganda niya sa suot na gown. At kering-keri niya, ah. Haha! Naaliw talaga ako sa buong durasyon ng panonood ko ng EB kahapon. Kahit `yong mga host, parang hindi makahinga nang maayos habang nag-aabang ng mga kaganapan. And my heart broke nang makita ko silang talagang napaiyak dahil sa kinalabasan ng KalyeSerye. Para lang silang mga ordinaryong manonood sa bahay na nag-aabang ng mga susunod na pangyayari sa inaabangan nilang teleserye. Advantage na rin siguro na talagang hindi nila inaalam ang mga susunod na pangyayari, `no?

But seriously speaking, this post has another purpose. Gaya nga ng sabi ko, gusto kong maglabas ng sama ng loob. Kahit panandalian ko lang naman talagang naramdaman iyon. Ewan ko ba. Feeling ko, hindi ako marunong magalit at mainis nang matagal. Well, maliban na lang sa nararamdaman ko when it comes to my father. Pero forget it na lang iyon. Ayokong pag-usapan ang tungkol doon.

Yesterday, sinabi na sa akin ng boss ko na since hindi naman gaanong kumikita ang center, kailangan na niya akong i-let go. Well, that’s one reason kung bakit ganoon. Secondly, sinabi rin niya na disappointed siya sa akin sa naging attitude ko sa work. Not that I violated any rules or anything at all. Pero napapansin daw niya kasi na parang wala akong initiative sa trabaho at hindi ko raw ito priority. May mga times daw na parang lumilipad ang isip ko kahit nasa trabaho.

I came to realize na totoo iyon. Madalas talaga na nasa iba ang isip ko. Particularly sa kagustuhan kong maging isang full-time writer. Pero ewan ko ba kung bakit parang hirap akong patunayan ang sarili ko na kaya kong gawin iyon. As to this day, dadalawa pa lang naman ang approved MS ko. `Yong isa, malalaman ko pa ang verdict next week, August 18. The next manuscripts after those two approved ones, nasundan pa ng dagdag na returned. Ako naman, siyempre, sobrang nadismaya. Pero ewan ko ba kung bakit sige lang ako ng sige sa pagsusulat. Alam ko na ito talaga ang gusto kong gawin. Pero hindi naman puwedeng dito lang ako umasa.

Ang problema lang sa akin, hindi ko talaga makita ang sarili kong nagtatrabaho sa isang office or doing office-related works. As I view myself in a bigger picture, mas nakikita ko ang sarili ko na nagta-travel while doing the one thing I love the most, and that is writing. At that point, nararamdaman ko talaga na hindi meant para sa akin ang makulong sa opisina.

Magtu-24 na ako this August 30, pero heto, hindi ko pa rin mahanap ang sarili ko sa reality. And seriously, that sucks! `Kainis!

AlDub/Kalyeserye Day 1: Ang Simula Ng Forever - July 16, 2015

Of course… The memorable first day for Yaya Dub to meet Alden Richards. Haha! At kung tama ang pagkakasabi nina Joey, this was also the first time na ngumiti si Yaya. Hindi ko pa rin mapaniwalaan na accidental lang ito. Na pinag-ekspirementuhan lang nila. Pero grabe ang effect, in fairness lang. But as I watched it over and over, nakita ko na talagang instant din ang chemistry na nabuo sa kanilang dalawa kahit na tuksuhan lang ang naganap. Hehe! Isa rin kasi ako sa kasama sa Team Replay, lalo na sa isang palabas na gustong-gusto kong panoorin. Kitang-kita sa reactions nila na ginawa lang ito just for fun, to test something. And from there, I guessed their experiment worked.

It’s been a long time since the last na kinilig ako sa isang love team. Siguro, kinikilig ako sa isang love story na napapanood ko at sa characters ng mga gumanap. But not on the love team itself. Ewan ko ba. Iyon kasi ang napuna ko as I tried to reassess myself with regards to liking or fangirling with certain local celebrities or love teams formed on television. But for AlDub, it was different. Totally different. And I can’t even explain it.

Nanumbalik ang nawawalang kilig 😄

What the heck namang title `to? Haha! Pero pagpasensiyahan n’yo na lang ako, ha? Ngayon lang `to. Palibhasa, inuulit-ulit lang ang mga videos ng #AlDub. Oo na, isa na ako sa mga kinilig kahit ayaw ko. Ewan ko ba. Haha! Pero saka ko na ibabalandra ang pagkakilig ko sa kanila kahit na hindi naman talaga ako nakakapanood ng TV at wala naman kami n’on dito. Walang antenna. :P

Anyway, back sa totoong rason kung bakit ko naisipang i-post ito since wala naman akong maisip isulat na matino. Na naman. Ewan ko lang kung bakit. Baka kinulang na naman ako sa kilig kaya ganoon.

Ilang araw ko nang nakikita sa FB newsfeed ko si Yaya Dub pero sa totoo lang, hindi ako maka-relate. Siguro nga, isang rason doon ang kawalan ng TV. Wait, let me rephrase that. Meron kaming TV pero walang signal dahil walang antenna. `Yon po talaga ang rason. Mahina lang maka-pick up ng signal dito sa amin. So iyon nga, nakikita ko ang tungkol sa kanya sa newsfeed ko. Pero parang wala lang. I saw various posts about Alden and Yaya Dub meeting for the first time kahit hindi pa talaga sila formally nagkikita. At least, doon sa segment nila.

And then nasundan na iyon ng mga FB status ng mga FB friends ko tungkol sa kanilang dalawa. Kung paano sila kiligin sa #AlDub. And take note, because of Dubsmash-ing, nagkaroon na tuloy ang Pilipinas ng panibagong trending loveteam. Variety show loveteam, as I would like to call them since wala pa naman silang small screen at big screen appearances. Tama? Kahit `yong mga romance writer na FB friends ko at pati na rin `yong iba na hindi na basta-basta kinikilig sa nagsusulputang loveteams ngayon, inaaming kinikilig kina Alden at Yaya Dub.

At kahit hindi ko naman talaga feel, pinanood ko sa FB page ng Eat Bulaga ang videos about this segment, lalo na ang inaabangang love story ng #AlDub. Aba! Kahit akong hirap pakiligin (I think), eh kinilig din sa dalawang `to. Well, one factor for that to happen to me is because of Alden Richards. Isa lang naman po kasi siya sa mga local artist na crush na crush ko kahit hindi na nga ako gaanong nakakapanood ng TV. And as I go on watching the videos about #AlDub, nakikita ko na rin sa wakas ang rason kung bakit ganoon na lang ang pagkahumaling nila sa trending loveteam na `to.

I’m not very much aware of Dubsmash, pero dahil sa #AlDub, nagawa ko na ring maintindihan sa wakas kung ano iyon. Hehe! Hindi ako ganoon ka-updated kaya pasensiya na. And I like the songs they used as a response to each other. Lalo na kapag kilig moments nila nina Alden at Yaya Dub. From old songs to new, I like all of it. Mahilig din akong makinig ng mga old songs kaya sabihin na natin na ilan sa mga kantang ginamit nila, eh napakinggan ko na. Nakakatuwa din ang #LoMmy. Grabe ang tawa ko sa dalawang `to kahit gusto ko nang takpan ng libro ang mga mukha nila kapag nagkakaharap sila. But I like #AlDub better. Haha! I agree with Joey’s comment na maganda nga kapag naging teleserye ang kuwento nina Alden at Yaya Dub. Tiyak na maraming mag-aabang at manonood n’on. Isa na ako roon, of course! Pero dito ko lang aaminin iyon.

As of this writing, I’m done watching the video about #AlDub’s Day 8. Pero ito lang ang isa sa masasabi ko. Ito ang loveteam na masasabi kong hindi pilit kung magpakilig. Sana nga, magkatotoo ang kahilingan ng karamihan na magkaroon sila ng movie or maybe even a TV series na silang dalawa ang bida. Hindi na ako mag-e-expect na maging sila in real life. Sa dami ng mga posibleng mangyari, we’ll never know.

Waiting for more #AlDub moments to come! Sana marami pa kayong mapakilig sa paglipas ng panahon. :)

When It Rains, It Pours...

…pero sobra naman ‘to. Kailangan talagang sobra-sobra ang buhos nito sa amin? Ilang buwan na kaming talagang pinapahirapan ng mga ito, eh. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Kahit magreklamo naman ako, wala naman akong magawa. Wala namang mangyayari, eh. Kumilos ka man, parang walang effect.

Bayad sa internet, sa bahay, sa ilaw at tubig… Normal case scenario na siguro ito sa amin since the day na talagang alam kong inuunti-unti na kaming iniiwan ng Papa ko sa ere. Iniiwan na rin niya sa amin lahat ng problemang binuo niya dahil sa pagiging hardheaded niya. Kaya ang resulta, hindi na ako makakapunta sa PHR workshop dahil kailangan nila ang perang meron sa akin na dapat sana ay gagamitin ko para sa registration fee at pamasahe ko papuntang QC. And then ito pa, ang MS ko. Returned ang resulta. Nakakawalang-gana. Parang hindi mo na talaga makita ang sarili mo na tinatahak ang gusto mo kasi nakakawala ng confidence ang lahat ng mga problemang dumarating.

Kaya kung minsan, hindi ko maiwasang kuwestiyunin kung ano pa ba ang use ng mga pinaggagagawa kong ito. Nakakainis!

Paano Kita Mamahalin?

Minsan ako'y nagtanong

Kahit hindi masagot

'Pagkat ang puso'y lito

At hindi sigurado

Paano ba magmahal

Kung ika'y nahihiya?

Pa'no ba ipakita

Tunay na nadarama?

Takot ang nagkukubli

Kaya hindi masabi

At takot na iwaksi

Pag-ibig sa 'sang tabi

Pa'no ka mamahalin

Kung lumayo kang pilit?

Tunay ba ang pag-ibig

Na alay mo sa akin?

Sa Pagsapit Ng Gabi

Sa paglubog ng araw

Ako'y nagpapaalam

Sapagkat isang araw

Ang nagdaan na naman

Sa pagsapit ng dilim

Nakita ang bituin

Lahat ay nagniningning

At ako'y napatingin

Ngunit hindi ang buwan

Ang nais masilayan

Sapagkat sa isipan

Laman ay alaala

Mga panaginip ko

Ikaw ang laman nito

Alaala'y narito

Bahagi ng puso ko

Manatili Ka Lang

Nang ika'y makilala

Nabuhay ang pag-asa

Pag-ibig ay nadama

Takot lang ipakita

Ngunit ako'y binigyan

Isang damdaming tunay

Tapat na nasilayan

Pag-ibig na hinintay

Subalit ang pangamba

Pa'no kung lumisan ka?

Makakaya ko nga ba

Kung ika'y mawala na

Kaya ako'y nagdasal

Upang Kanyang pakinggan

Ang aking kahilingan

Manatili ka lamang

Sa Pagpatak Ng Ulan

Ako ay napatingin

Sa bituing maningning

Nadama ko ang hangin

Na umihip sa akin

Pumapatak ang ulan

Luha ko'y sumasabay

Ako ay namaalam

At lumbay ay hinagkan

Ako ay nagdurusa

At aking naalala

Pag-ibig na sininta

Ngayon ay naglaho na

Ang ula'y pumapatak

Nakadama ng habag

Hindi nga ba mapalad

Puso kong laging salat?

Sa Araw Ng Puso

Hindi ko iniisip

Ni hindi ko masambit

Sumalit sumisingit

Maging sa panaginip

Sa araw na magdaan

Ika'y nasisilayan

Ngunit 'di malapitan

Pangamba'y nangunguna

Pilit ko mang ikubli

Sa pusong nangingimi

'Di ko maililihim

Kahit na ano'ng gawin

At sa araw ng puso

Sana ay malaman mo

Hiling ko lang sa iyo

Sana'y maramdaman mo

Ang Alay Sa Tadhana

Nagsimula ang araw

Na humiling sa Kanya

Nagdasal na makita

Ang s'yang itinadhana

Ang ibon ay umawit

Ang bitui'y nagningning

Umigting ang damdamin

Ano'ng ibig sabihin?

Nakita ko na siya

Ang s'yang itinadhana

Subalit may pangamba

Puso ko ay may kaba

Kung s'ya ang tadhana ko

Sana nga'y malaman ko

Ito'y isinulat ko

At aking alay sa iyo