Foods you would like to try.

I think I'm just going to list things here with no explanation for now. I'm not much of a binge eater, but I still would love to try foods from other places one day.

1. Tteokbokki (떡볶이)
2. Miso ramen (味噌ラメント)
3. Melon bread (メロンパン)
4. Dalgona coffee (달고나 커피)
5. Cubano sandwich
6. New Orleans beignet
7. Baumkuchen
8. Croquembouche
9. Dango (団子)
10. Onigiri (おにぎり)
11. Ohagi botamochi (牡丹餅)
12. Gelato
13. Hot-pot
14. Omurice (オムライス)
15. Taiyaki (鯛焼き)

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

Ways in which you are awesome.

• My imagination can become a way for me to be successful.
• I still haven't given up on my dreams.
• I still believe that life will take an awesome turn for me.
• I'm doing my best to fight off negativity hovering in my mind.
• I can smile through all the pain and trouble, not as a mask but as a way of providing power for my heart to endure the dark times of my life.
• My age doesn't matter to me anymore, as long as I know that I still have the drive for me to fulfill my dreams in God's perfect timing.
• I still love my life in spite of it all. 😄💕

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

What does your ideal day looks like? Be specific.

Ideal day? I would say my ideal day could be a little boring to some. But I do believe that my ideal day would involve me not too much. Like, there wasn't a care in the world when I choose what I want to do in a day. But this prompt said that I have to be specific, so let's see if I could actually do so.

Morning:

• To wake up at my own pace, but not later than 8 or even 7:30, if I say so myself.
• Not getting fussed over a dream I can't remember. Just being calm and actually cool about it.
• Do my morning stretches with no interruption.
• No errands or people with favors to ask me to do.
• Have a proper breakfast. And yes, no interruption again.

Afternoon:

• Read a book, even if it's just 2-3 chapters ― or longer.
• Write an update for my pending stories with no distractions and interruption from other people.
• Have a nap that can truly refresh me.
• By this time, I already had a proper energy-filled lunch.

Evening:

• Have my dinner, but not the heavy one since it's bad for my stomach.
• Do my usual night time routine before going to sleep.
• Write on my journal freely.
• Sleep early.

I think I made it specific enough. At least, I tried. Or perhaps I haven't fully figured out my ideal day to look like.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

Your current relationship. If single, describe how single life is.

Single life? Monotonous, in my case. But worry free, as well. At least on the aspect of thinking someone other than myself. Selfish and boring as it might have sounded, but I actually prefer it that way. At least for now.

Why I stated it like this? It's because I know fully well that I still have a lot of things to do and think about in order for me to grow (physically 😄 and mentally), mature and love myself without these limiting beliefs. I have all the time and attention I can give to myself to accept everything about my life. Being in a relationship at this point made me feel as if it's going to hinder that progress. So for me, single life (at least mine) is a period I can use for me to improve.

I just have this belief that if I finally find myself ー the one I can truly be proud of after all this time of searching, wishing, hoping, and yearning for a beautiful and fulfilling romance ー then the long journey will definitely be worth it. I have so much disappointments in my life that more often than not, I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm aiming for the day that I can say I've finally done it ー I found my true self ー and look in the mirror with pride and fulfillment and happiness beaming from my eyes.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

My saddest memory is...

I have a lot of sad memories in my life, including deaths of relatives and severed relationships within the family. But if I'm just going to pick one out of those memories, the saddest one for me would be when my father had totally expressed his distaste in my writing endeavors. I mean, I did cry my eyes out when he said that I should just throw the papers and even the stories I wrote on those papers to the trash.

To some, it might be something petty. But to a writer like me, it feels damaging ー especially if it actually came from your family. That's how I value writing in my life since then, I guess. I know I still have a long way to go, even now. But at least a support is what I'm asking. Then again, I don't think I'll ever get that from him. Not back then. Not now. Not ever.

Death is also something to be sad about, I know. But as heartless as it sounds, I haven't actually cried when both of my grandfathers died (in different years, of course). Maybe because I wasn't that close to any of them? I'm not really sure.

But I guess the death (or even the near death) of a dream is sadder than ever to someone who truly values it in their heart. And perhaps that is why something related to writing is what I chose as a saddest memory to me.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

What makes you a good friend?

• I listen. At least I know I'm a good listener. At times, as well, I also analyze the situation laid out in front of me involving a friend before I judge.
• I might come out as standoffish at times. Or snobbish. But know that when you become my friend, I will treasure it in every way possible. I will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.
• I also appear as a loner and anti-social and most of the time, this is the image I end up projecting. But I can be bubbly and outgoing, especially when the people or the situation can be so much fun. So know that even with such an image, I do my best to make someone smile.
• People tell me that I do give a lot of advice ー good ones, in fact. I have to admit, the advice I give to people tend to come from a different source and not from my personal experience. But as a friend, please know that advices are guides to stir you back to the right direction. When all else fails and you think the world has given up on you, I'm still here to believe in you and have faith in your true strength that you can get through this. As long as I know that you're not doing anything bad or illegal, I will do my best to be your greatest strength provider in this life

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

Describe your dream holiday.

I haven't really given it much thought, to be honest. But I do envision some things when I actually find myself going on a holiday.

• I'd love it if I can have a holiday alone.
• It would be somewhere scenic ー both in the city/town proper visit and the rural area visit.
• I'd be having a blast ー not too much ー on taking pictures of my vacation.
• Everything around me, everything I see, would be putting a smile on my face that will surely last.
• Having a slow walk ー either on the beach or somewhere with a bridge ー in which it can definitely help me absorb everything in. From emotions, to sensations that the vacation brings to me.
• Even from my hotel room, it's amazing to see a beautiful sunrise and sunset that I can take photos of.
• Somewhere I can definitely enjoy going to where people are friendly and the energy is amazing.

I guess the answer went quite well. They might have come out as a little vague. Or at least I thought of it that way. But I don't exactly have a specific place in mind yet as to where I actually want to spend a vacation and spend my holiday there.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

What beliefs are holding you back from living your dream life?

I don't know what to say with regards to this prompt. But I guess that it's just right to answer this since I do need it to fully assess myself about this particular area in my life. This might be a bit too much in my perception, though.

Anyway, here goes:

• I don't have what it takes to do it. → This is the main one, if I say so myself.
• That dream is too great for you to even handle. → This just came recently, to be honest, when everything started to go downhill.
• Stepping out of your comfort zone won't do you any good. → And I guess this is why I'm trying my best right now to do something I've never done before, in spite of the pressure.
• You don't have the courage to take the risk. → Or maybe I just haven't found that real courage I need the most to risk a lot for my dreams.
• Why are you even born here in this world? → I guess this belief actually goes hand in hand with me feeling such a useless person. I'm not going to lie, I did have suicidal thoughts echoing in my mind a lot of times, especially when I was in college after failing my NCII test for Computer Troubleshooting. More like this followed after that. But as they've always been, they were all passing thoughts. I haven't actually attempted to do any of those suicidal thoughts and tactics because like what I kept on saying, I still love my life. Maybe I just need the drive to actually propel my life to the right direction. Or to the true direction that I've missed all this time.
• You're such a useless woman! → This, to me, is the most painful belief that's been rolling in my head for quite some time now, ever since being laid off from the two jobs I've ever had since graduating. Until now, it still echoes in my head, but not as prevalent as it used to be. I'll do my best to not let it affect me even further.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

The best compliments you've received.

You're smart.

You're a talented writer.

You're a creative writer.

These were just, for me, the best compliments I've received since I started writing. Well, that goes back to when I was in high school and I'm still unaware of what to actually do with my life. At the point I received these compliments, I was pretty much a wallflower. No one noticed me and I guess no one wanted to be friends, let alone be close, to someone as plain as me. Anyway, I didn't even care. I was so much caught up with how to keep up with my studies that I don't even pay attention to how I should project myself to the class.

Writing was just a hobby to me at the time. Nothing more than a past time and a way for me to get out of reality for a little while. So to be complimented for the world I created through the stories I write, it was an amazing experience for me. For people to believe that I can achieve more for doing something I love, it was something unbelievable.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

The Story Behind The Secret Of The Rose Clans

Medyo mahaba-haba ang entry na 'to considering the fact na ito ang background story ng "Chronicles of the Roses". As usual, isinulat ko ito way back 2008 pa, kaya may kadramahan ang writing style ko rito. Since nai-share ko na rito ang mailking description ng series na ito, gusto ko na ring i-share ang background story ng dalawang pamilyang ito.

By the way, sinubukan ko lang gumawa ng aesthetic ng mismong series. I think I captured most of the topic tha surrounded the romance series of these two clans. Baka nga gawan ko rin ng ganito ang "Eight Thorned Blades" one of these days. Tingnan natin. 😄✌️💕

Here goes:

What does love mean to you?

You've got to be kidding me. I actually got this prompt to answer tonight? But since it's a question that's needed to be answered, possibly for my sake, then I have to do my best. Take note, though, that for someone who still has yet to experience what it's like to truly fall in love, my answer here can be a little vague.

Love is always there. It doesn't fade, it won't vanish. It's just that people do tend to neglect it. And for me, that's one reason why people fall out of love.

Love is unconditional. Love is ever the greatest power that can change someone's life, along with faith and trust. Love holds the greatest magic that this world can ever experience in one's life. Love can transcend space and time, as long as one believes in it.

Love will always be something that can shed a light on my rather gray life and put colors to it, as well. Love will always be the sunrise that my heart longs to see all this time. Love will become the key for me to find my life purpose. Self-love, filial love, platonic love, romantic love ー these kinds of love will definitely change my life for the better.

What always brings tears to your eyes? (Tears are words that need to be written. - Paulo Coelho)

A lot, honestly, considering the fact that I'm such a sensitive person. Reunion, deep conversations, reconciliation, even songs bring tears to my eyes.

If I'm going to be particular about this, however, I think I should just list them down here:

1. Watching videos about reunions and homecoming.
2. My self-pity moments, even when I wasn't scolded by anyone.
3. Father and daughter dance at weddings, only because I can already feel that I won't be able to experience it at all with my father.
4. When I'm frustrated with myself, which happens a lot.

I have to admit, I'm quite sad for # 3. I may not be looking for a romantic partner at the moment since I did say to myself that I have to fix my life first. But think about a future where I can't do that when the time really did come that I find that special person. Things were not the same anymore.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

What are 3 things you can do to enhance your mental well-being?

So it has come to this ー talking about mental well-being. It is a bit appropriate, though, as I kept on seeing issues of depression that leads to self-harm online. It's disturbing, to be honest. At one point, I've been thinking of doing something to bring awareness, even if it's something I've not encountered or done personally. Sure, I had suicidal thoughts passing in my mind from time to time, especially when other people's words would get to me and start invading my mind. They would really put me in such a bad mood that I'd even cry because of all the negative thoughts (degrading ones, unfortunately) at night, making me unable to sleep ー sometimes. My imagination could get really wild most of the time and I'm having a hard time putting a stop to it, to be honest.

With that, I've come to start doing something to tone it down slowly and make my mental health less worrying for me. I'm not sure if I could list three, but let's see. 😄

1. Journaling ➡️ Yes, this includes my scripting journal (that I put to a stop a few months back) and my personal journal where I'm writing a lot more than usual. Yes, a lot of times, all I do in my journal is to write rants and complaints and disappointments. But ever since I started having a journal back in June 13, 2019, it became helpful for me to release the burdens in my mind. Sure, it can be burdening, as well, to write my entries in English. But this also serves as a writing practice for me (at least for fiction stories that I'm writing and planning to write).
2. Walking ➡️ Okay, I know I don't walk everyday (the long distance ones, I mean). And now, because of the pandemic, it's not going to be an everyday thing to walk around in long distance for a long time. But even with that, walking provides an outlet for me to imagine, to clear my mind, to visualize, to practice my singing (?) voice (at times). Especially with clearing my mind. Walking helps in calming me down, especially when I'm truly upset over something.
3. Listening to instrumental music ➡️ Most of the time, I'm going straight to ballads. But lately, I've been listening to epic music, as well. You know, the one used as background music. True, no words can be hurt from it. But those music provides a lot of inspiration and has also cleared my mind when I'm frustrated. The epic music I tend to listen to seemed like talking to me and saying that I can do it and I can get through the fight.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

Weird things you do when you're alone.

Should I consider talking to myself as a weird thing? Yeah, I guess that's one of them. I'm not going to lie, I do feel withdrawn to the world, even to my family. Then again, I guess I could say that it was a choice. I can feel that I am not truly connected to any of the people I got close to. At some point, I couldn't help wondering if I'd ever be connected to someone in my life.

Acting out the things I imagined (while sitting and only the conversations happening in my mind) could be another. Yes, it's weird. I'm totally aware of that. That's why I only actively (and discreetly) do it when no one would disturb me and when I'm in my personal space. I mean, it's like when I was a kid. The bedroom (or at least the area where I sleep) has always been my own secluded world. No restrictions when it comes to the way I act out the scenes in my imagination. Doing so, in return, has helped me with my writings and the way I want to describe the scenes and stuffs like that.

I guess these weird things can be way too much for an ordinary person to comprehend, huh? At times, I even felt scared that it could lead to maladaptive daydreaming. Then again, I guess I should do it in moderation so it won't happen.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

Write a letter to the friendliest person you knew for only one day.

I don't know if I could write a letter with regards to this person, though. But that's only because I can't recall meeting anyone for one day and actually befriended. For real. So... for this prompt, I thin I'm going to be writing this in a future sense. I don't go out that much, anyway.

Let's go!

To that friendliest person I'm going to meet,

It can only be for one day, and it will not be enough, I'm quite sure of that. And yet I have this feeling that it's going to be okay. That the day is enough because it turns out to be something amazing for a quite dreary day. I love it if it can change my day in so many ways, or maybe make me feel better and enlighten me a lot. For now, I'm quite unsure of how it's happening. Yet reality can surely works it way to create miracles. And yes, I am considering meeting you as one amazing miracle in this life.

Thank you.

The stranger whose day changes because of your friendliness,

Florence Joyce 😄❤

How do you want your room to be? (color of the wall, decoration, size, bed placement...)

Now this is something. I haven't given much thought about this, though I have to admit that at times, I envision myself being in a relaxing bedroom of my own. But if I'm going to be specific, it goes like this:

I've always liked a cloud-themed bedroom and that theme should be prominent with the walls. It makes me feel like I'm flying and free. Not to mention, I'm pretty much drawn to air powers ー in a fantasy aspect ー so I guess this is why. I don't like putting too many decorations on the walls, but I do love seeing beach-themed pictures and sunset photos, as well. Having a bedroom with the size that can fit a workspace and a few bookshelves is lovely, considering the fact that I can concentrate more in doing work ina bedroom. Separating the space with a folding shoji screen with either a lotus or a sakura design is amazing. I'd love it if the bed is placed near the window, just in case I'd think about gazing at the stars at night.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

10 likes and dislikes

As for this prompt, I guess I'm going with random details here.

10 Likes

1. Fantasy genre
2. Japan and most things Japanese
3. Color blue (pastel and pale ones, mostly)
4. Coffee. That's obvious, right?
5. Having a collection of journals and random notebooks.
6. Ballad music
7. Writing stories with no disturbances
8. Ocean and light floral scents
9. Eating donuts, marshmallows and wafers.
10. Having a piggyback ride with the man I (will come to) love

10 Dislikes

1. Bruises and injuries. Then again, I tend to get them a lot.
2. Rock metal music.
3. Feeling uncomfortable because of stalkers/admirers.
4. Feeling useless and frustrated for having no clue of my life purpose
5. Anything paranormal. I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to this stuff.
6. Gore stuff in films, cartoons, anime or even in real life.
7. Having no direction on the course of my life.
8. Losing my pens.
9. Having people telling me to stop writing all in all.
10. Revealing parts of my past that I hate.

I guess I went a little dramatic on the dislikes part. 😄

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

If you can live in any country, which one will you choose?

I love this journal prompt, to be honest. But I'm going to answer this as simply as I can. Only because I don't know any reason why I should make it longer.

That country would be Japan. Regardless of the issues that the country was facing over the years, it's the place that actually calls out to me, for some reason. I don't know if it's about my fascination to the country, or (according to my mom) me and my sisters have Japanese heritage from my father's side of the family, it seems that I wasn't meant to stay in the Philippines at all. Perhaps at one point in my life, I'd be able to actually live there. I just had to deal with the high cost of living in that country. And perhaps even discrimination and racism.

🌸Florence Joyce🌸

Other Story Titles (pending stories to write)

Some of the stories and series that I planned to write a long time ago, but still haven't found a chance to do so. So here I am, writing them down all here as a reference for the future. Who knows, right? Those in italics, by the way, are the ones that I got to start writing. The ones with italics and underlined are those I've finished writing.

A letter to the leader of your country.

To His Excellency, The President of the Philippines;

Forgive me for making this short, Sir. But I just want to tell you that you are doing a good job in leading our country. Regardless of the negative feedbacks other people keep on giving you, including my own that I do not dare speak anywhere, I am amazed by all that you have done for this country. Please remain humble and keep having strong faith in what you believe in, regardless of your beliefs and as long as it won't degrade our country. I admire your strict way of implementing rules even though so many still complains ー like people who haven't done a lot to save our country from its corrupt nature.

Thank you for stepping forward to lead the Philippines and the Filipino people until now.

Florence Joyce